


Demon I Have Become

by DaniJayNel



Series: 100 YumiKuri Stories [55]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Dark fic, Demon!Ymir, F/F, Multi Chapter, Violence/Gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:58:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 146,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2500439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this demon I have become." Demon-born, Ymir struggles with her birth right and with the unlucky fate that she is surely to follow. Krista is the only reminder that she has some semblance of humanity left inside her, but not everything can work out as we hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the songs Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace and My Demons by Starset.

Ash and gore all trickled down like rain. The air, thick and muggy, shivered amidst the ferocious roaring. Men and women alike surrounded a beast, weapons and tanks and helicopters all aiming, taking fire, and running to cover.

Another roar; everyone burst into showering bits of meat and flesh, blood spraying everywhere. A small child, witness to the gruesome deaths, was showered in the substances and stained red. She looked about five and clutched a doll to her chest. Curled, long blonde hair dripped with blood. Her widened blue eyes stared in terror, mouth gaping ever so slightly. The small child could not breathe, she could not move—not even when the demon noticed her and lifted its hand toward her, finger pointing.

Smoke billowed behind the creature. Buildings collapsed in on themselves and any electrical device could not take the amount of heat and pressure emitting from the demon, causing them all to explode.

There were screams; so many screams—mothers and fathers escaping with their children, their lives; lovers screaming after watching their better halves explode right before their eyes.

The little girl felt warm liquid run down her legs and she knew that she had wet herself. She could barely emit any sort of sound as the towering demon sent a chilling glare her way. It didn’t appear mindless; it looked thirsty, hungry for blood and death.

The creature stood 14 meters tall, shoulders pulled back and head held high. The skin was reddened, much like the demons often depicted in famous paintings of religious stories. Its eyes were blackened red, darker than the rawest part of the heart, and the whites of its eyes were coloured pitch black. Blood and gore ran down the demon’s face, its chin dyed a darker red than its skin. The skin itself looked leathery, like it would be rough and bumpy to the touch. Its nails were long and black and sharp.

It didn’t look like an animal; in fact, it had a human appearance despite the height and the skin. A once normal face splashed with black freckles contorted in hatred, nostrils flaring and lips curled back over sharp fangs.

What startled the girl most of the appearance, were the horns and the tail. The horns sat atop the demon’s head, pointing upwards at a slight angle, arching ever so slightly in the centre. The horns were once pitch black, but were now dripping with blood and ash. The tail swished back and forth, looking much like that of a dragon. The small girl wasn’t at all surprised when the demon threw its head back with its lips parted and released an earth shattering roar. It was the loudest noise the little girl had ever heard. Those in close proximity had no choice but to cover their ears or face losing their eardrums. The little girl did not flinch as her eardrums burst and blood gushed from the sides of her head. Her eyes could not leave the angered, anguished face of the demon.

When the demon finished roaring, two, black and equally leathery wings burst from its back, spraying its own blood behind it from breaking the skin. The demon did not seem to notice the pain. Its wings flapped once, twice, wind rushing fiercely from the force, and then it took a few steps forward.

The girl trembled so badly that her doll fell to the floor. A second later, she was not even able to utter a scream as the demon closed its fist and her body exploded. What remained of the girl rained on people still rushing past—some screaming, some barely noticing.

The demon suddenly rushed forward, jumped as high as it could and then came down on a group of people escaping. They were all crowded at the entrance to a subway, pushing and shoving and preventing a quick escape to safety. Its fists felt the wet crunch as bodies were crushed, and then it left again, running for a helicopter firing missiles. One grab was all it took and the demon crushed the vehicle in its hands, ignoring the terrified screams from inside. The other helicopters watched, their pilots swearing and nearly wetting themselves. They decided that it was too risky and all made a quick escape, leaving their fellow citizens at the creature’s mercy.

“NO!” There was a scream, so faint in all of the chaos and death. “YMIR STOP IT!”

Ymir shot up immediately, heart thudding so painfully that she began to cough until her lungs burned. She clutched at her chest, heaving and hyperventilating. Every inch of her body hurt and Ymir stumbled out of bed, quick to get to the bathroom. Once there she turned the shower on—as cold as it could get—and fell against the shower wall. She slid to the ground, tilted her head upwards and allowed the icy water to splash across her face and sweat soaked clothes.

Ymir’s breathing eased slightly as did the burning along her skin. She felt an uncomfortable sickness tighten her stomach and could not stop the vomit climbing her oesophagus. Ymir bent forward and wretched until her back muscles pulled and she could barely remain upright.

It was like a never ending nightmare that plagued her night and day.

After cleaning her face and shirt, Ymir stood and turned the shower off. She trembled heavily as she made her way over to the mirror, to look at her reflection. What she saw made her immediately look away.

Red eyes, sharp teeth, darkened skin… and horns.

Ymir took deep, shallow breaths through her nose. She squeezed her eyes tight, trying not to think of her dream, and willed her body to go back to normal. She willed herself to return to what she wanted to be.

Slowly, painful enough that Ymir whimpered in agony, the horns receded, sending fresh blood spilling over her skin. Ymir’s skin ceased to burn, her muscles—besides her lower back—stopped pulling and tensing. Her teeth changed and her eyes faded from hatred filled red to their usual dull brown. The black melted from the whites of her eyes, leaving them looking normal again.

Gasping, Ymir washed the blood from her face and then glanced up, watching her reflection. She was glad to see that she was looking normal again. Her skin was tanned and freckled, as it should be. Her shoulders were no longer so broad, her jaw not so wide and her height had shrunken back down to normal.

Ymir breathed. Her wounds closed up quickly, gone in a bellow of steam, as did the pain in her lower back. She healed so frighteningly fast.

“Fuck,” Ymir choked out. The echo of pain still singed her skin. Her joints all ached. “Fuck.”

She left the bathroom quickly, leaving wet footprints and hoping not to wake her siblings. They were used to her night terrors, but seeing her like this wasn’t what Ymir wanted. She walked softly back towards her room and then locked the door once it was shut behind her.

It was still very early in the morning—three a.m. Each morning, around three, Ymir would startle from a violent dream, and nearly every morning she would reach for her cellphone and dial a familiar number. This time was no different.

“Ymir? Was it bad this time?”

Ymir’s entire body relaxed at the familiar, soothing voice. She collapsed onto her bed, clad in dry clothes after changing, and pressed a trembling fist against her temple.

“Mm,” she muttered softly.

Krista, still mostly asleep, rubbed furiously at her eyes and hurried out of bed. “Okay, I’m on my way. Don’t do anything, okay? I’ll be right there.”

Ymir didn’t protest. She used to—vehemently. Now it was customary for Krista to travel thirty minutes downtown to sneak through Ymir’s bedroom window at three in the morning. Ymir no longer held the energy to argue like she used to. Right now all she could do was lie on her bed and listen to Krista’s breathing.

Krista knew not to end the call. Neither spoke, but she kept the phone pressed to her ear as she struggled to pull a pair of jeans over her pyjama pants. After that she wrestled a hoodie over her nightshirt, and then she grabbed the keys to her scooter and snuck outside. Even if her parents caught her, they had no real say over stopping her—Krista was eighteen now, and she demanded that they afford her trust and responsibility. If they wanted her to drive and find a job, then they had to let her go and allow her to do the things that she needed to do.

Ymir heard the familiar beep of Krista’s house alarm being switched off, and then the buzz of the garage door sliding open. Krista situated herself on her scooter, brought it to life, and then sighed into the receiver.

“Ymir, I have to go now. Will you be okay until I get there?”

Ymir blinked the sweat from her eyelashes. Her vision turned fuzzy for a second, and she thought that she was about to fall asleep, but then she shook her head and stood from her bed. “Yeah. Don’t speed.”

Krista chuckled. “I’m more skilled at speeding than you are at this point. Just relax. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Ymir cracked a pained smile. “Liar.”

Krista didn’t comment and placed the phone into her pocket, not ending the call. Ymir continued to listen to the sounds as Krista pushed her scooter out of the garage, pressed a button on her remote to close it and then drove down the driveway. When she reached the road she hit the button for the house alarm to switch on again, and then she hit the gas and sped down the street.

Ymir listened to it all. She walked quietly over to her mirror and paused in front of it. Hesitantly, almost afraid, she lifted her shirt. She cringed.

Long, coiling patterns danced across her skin, like black veins. They spread out from the very centre of her heart, covering her breasts and abdomen, curling around her hips to spiral up her back. Ymir didn’t need to turn to see the latter marks. She had the image of them burned into her memory. Just closing her eyes allowed her to see them perfectly.

They hurt more than she had ever imagined. Right now they were burning, but in an hour they were sure to start aching worse than ever before. The pain had only gotten worse over the last year, and Ymir wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to resist the change and keep her mind.

Time seemed to have stopped, for Ymir was surprised to hear the familiar whoosh of her window sliding open. She turned with her shirt still pulled up and saw Krista tumbling through her window.

Krista wore her usual purple hoodie and faded dark grey jeans. She had sneakers covering her feet, and Ymir could plainly see from her chest that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Krista stumbled to her feet and noticed Ymir. Krista smiled.

Ymir frowned and dropped her shirt quickly to hide the shameful marks marring her body. Krista had seen them already—touched them, too. She did not want the blonde to see her shame longer than what was necessary.

“Ymir, they’ve extended!” Krista exclaimed before even uttering a greeting. She rushed forward and shoved Ymir’s shirt upwards to get a good look at her skin. Krista only managed a long second to study the elongated black branches before she was roughly shoved to the ground. She landed with a thud and took a second to regain her bearings.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Ymir said anxiously. She didn’t extend a hand to help, not like she would have. No—this time she pulled her hands to her sides and stepped away from Krista, guilt and anger and shame washing over her face in waves.

Krista was not impressed at all. “Since when did the great Ymir act so timid?” she asked sternly. She stood and brushed the back of her pants.

Ymir’s gaze moved to a point above Krista’s head. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“So why didn’t you argue with me?”

“It never works, does it?”

“I want to be here.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“I don’t care.”

“I COULD KILL YOU!” Ymir screamed, eyes flashing bright and red before they snapped back to brown and the brunette covered her mouth with a hand. She bit harshly into the flesh of her palm to calm herself.

Krista never flinched. “Boo-hoo, you have emotional problems.” She approached her and forced the hand from her mouth, watching the bite mark evaporate into steam. “You reached out to me for help, and that’s what I’m here to do.”

Ymir’s eyes drowned in sorrow. “I’ve hurt you enough Krista.”

Krista sighed softly. She gently wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck and pulled her down until they were on equal footing. Softly, so as not to startle, she brushed their noses and smiled. “And I forgive you each time; because what you’re fighting inside,” she placed a hand over Ymir’s heart, “is far more important than worrying about my bodily injuries when you lose control of your temper.”

Ymir sighed and bumped their foreheads. “You say that like me hitting you is okay.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Krista snapped angrily. “I never forget it, but I forgive. You make up for it. You are going through something much bigger than me right now. I can’t be selfish and make you suffer more.”

At that Ymir snorted. “Yet you selfishly stay by my side even though I and every other goddamn person try to convince you otherwise.”

“No one else knows what you’re going through, Ymir.”

“You don’t either,” Ymir pointed out.

Krista pulled away, grabbed Ymir’s hand and pulled her towards the bed. Once there she ordered Ymir to lie down, and then she gently took Ymir’s shirt off. Ymir tried to protest but she ended up sighing and allowing Krista to do as she pleased. Krista sat down beside her and pressed a hand to her back.

“I know that what you’ve told me is a basic version,” Krista said. She traced the branching patterns with her finger and she grinned when Ymir shivered and blushed slightly.

“I don’t want to tell you everything yet. I want you to think of me as Ymir, that dorky jackass you befriended when no one else would. I don’t want you to think of me as a monster.”

Krista immediately pulled Ymir’s head around to glare openly into her face. “Don’t you ever think that! If I hear you calling yourself a monster, or worrying that I would think that, then I’ll head-butt you so damn hard you’ll forget who you are.”

Ymir blinked, surprised, and then she grinned and leaned forward to lightly kiss Krista on the lips. “You’ve grown fiercer this year.”

Krista grinned smugly. “If you aren’t going to sass people at school anymore then I have to. Who else is gonna defend us?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “You know that if I get angry at the idiots at school then I _will_ end up killing someone.” She was dead serious, frowning.

Krista remembered the first time it had happened; when Ymir had almost lost complete control of herself. That had been the most frightening and sobering day of her life, and from that day on Krista had vowed to remain by Ymir’s side as an anchor to calm her in the direst of situations.

_“Look, it’s the mega bitch and her little lesbian sidekick!”_

_“Thomas, shut the fuck up!” Ymir roared. She had been sitting against a tree with Krista nestled in her lap. They had been doing absolutely nothing but listening to the birds chirping in the trees until James and his idiot friend approached them, intent on causing a fight._

_Krista felt the pulse beneath her cheek accelerate and she felt the stirrings of panic begin in her chest. At that point in time Ymir had very vaguely explained what her situation was, and Krista understood that it was_ **very** _dangerous for her to get too angry—or angry at all._

_“Aw, are you butt-hurt, you hag?”_

_Ymir started to tremble. Krista suddenly tapped her chest and Ymir dropped her eyes to glance down at her. Krista’s expression was worried._

_Ymir decided to calm herself and ignore the jibes. She stood, intertwined their fingers and then set off for the school cafeteria. It seemed as though the guys had given up but they started to follow, and Ymir could smell their envy and hatred trailing behind her. It made her blood boil with a sickening excitement and Ymir anxiously swallowed the dryness from her mouth. She tried to mentally will them to leave, to give up and piss off, but they followed them all the way into the building and then Edward—James’ friend—suddenly grabbed Krista and then James shoved Ymir into a wall. He was taller than her, and stronger—for now._

_“Ymir! What the hell do you guys think you’re doing? Just leave us alone! We weren’t doing anything to you!” Krista yelled in panic._

_James and Edward didn’t understand why Krista seemed so panicked, so Edward chuckled and leaned in close to her face. “Calm down sweetheart, we won’t hurt your bulldyke too much.”_

_They were at the entrance of the cafeteria, just outside of it, so people from the other side of the door could hear the ordeal and many had quieted in order to listen._

_“Let her go,” Ymir said softly. Her head was bowed, and she hadn’t looked up yet. Her arms hung at her sides, lame and trembling. She resisted the primal urges rising within her tainted blood._

_“Now why would we do something like that?” James cooed. His dull green eyes shone with arrogance and he grinned smugly. “It’s about time you shared that cutie with the rest of the school.”_

_“I bet they fuck often,” Edward commented, now sniffing Krista’s blonde hair and stroking her cheek. Krista didn’t even register his actions because her gaze was fixed on Ymir’s hidden face. She could feel the air around them suddenly growing hot and heavy. “Geez, it suddenly got hot in here,” Edward said as he wiped his brow._

_James thought he meant it as a jab. He laughed cruelly. “I wanna know, how does she taste? You’ve eaten her cupcake, hmm? Come on, from bro to bro.” He tapped her chest as if doing it playfully and looked over at Edward, sharing a look, and then laughed._

_Ymir’s shoulders began to heave. Under normal circumstances she wouldn’t have been so upset. She had spent so much time trying to rein her anger in that she no longer harshly lashed out to anyone simply sitting beside her._

_James had caught her on a bad day. She had dreamed a bad dream the previous night and she was still recovering from the experience. His light jabs were hitting her harder than they should have and she was struggling intensely to keep the bubbling anger from pouring out of the bottle she tried so desperately to keep it locked inside of._

_Ymir could feel the black veiny marks spread out slowly across her skin, growing because of her anger and burning like someone was running a hot iron against her skin. It hurt, and the pain made Ymir hiss; it was a low, angry sound that caused James and Edward to cease their laughter and squint at her._

_“What the fuck noise was that?”_

_Krista’s heart flew into her throat. For a split second she considered running. She knew what Ymir turned into when she lost control, and fear clawed at the back of her mind. Immediately she dismissed the notion, not wanting to leave Ymir. She had to do whatever she could to keep Ymir under control, or else she would kill James and Edward without even blinking._

_“Ymir, please don’t listen to them,” Krista pleaded. “They’re jealous idiots. Just breathe deeply. Think about that forest I told you about, remember?”_

_James and Edward shared a perturbed look. When James nodded faintly Edward’s grin stretched wide. “Shut up, bitch!” He pulled Krista’s head back by yanking on her hair, and then he roughly grabbed a hold of her jaw and shook her head. “What hippy shit are you talking about?”_

_Ymir’s head snapped up at the sound of Krista’s surprised squeak. She watched Edward, and before she even had a chance to regain her calm, Edward did something that snapped her control like a twig._

_He laughed smugly and then shoved Krista into the wall. The blonde wasn’t fast enough to react and she cracked her head against the brick wall, crying out in surprise and pain before she slid to the ground on her knees._

_“Ha! Did you hear how she—” Edward wasn’t able to finish his sentence because Ymir had appeared in front of him so quickly that he hadn’t even seen her before she grabbed his face and with sheer power threw him through the cafeteria doors. He landed painfully on the floor and slid all the way to the opposite side of the cafeteria. Those that had been quietly listening startled, and some stood from their chairs in fright. They spared Edward a glance and then looked at the still swinging cafeteria doors._

_Ymir didn’t speak. She turned swiftly to face James. He broke out into a sweat and then screamed in terror when Ymir grabbed his throat and lifted him completely off of the ground. She was suddenly a lot taller and stronger than him and he could barely breathe because of her fingers digging into his throat._

_“Ymir, no!” Krista stood and made to rush to Ymir but an invisible force pushed her backwards and pressed her firmly to the wall. She struggled against it, accustomed to Ymir’s ability. “Ymir, please! He isn’t worth it!”_

_James had his hands wrapped around Ymir’s wrist and he kicked his legs. “P-please,” he gasped out._

_Ymir’s eyes narrowed, and then the most vicious and cruel smile James had ever seen in his life—and would haunt him from then on—spread out on Ymir’s face. At the same moment her eyes darkened to red and her skin seemed to dye scarlet. She bared her teeth, showing her sharp fangs, and a deep, angry growl rumbled deeply in her chest._

_James screamed as much as he could and wet himself. Ymir lifted a fist and didn’t hesitate to punch him in the face. She then tossed him where she had thrown Edward, and then she followed._

_The force holding Krista back weakened and she managed to break away. She followed behind Ymir and ran to her side, tugging on her upper arm and begging for her to stop. But Ymir didn’t hear her. She showed no recognition of Krista’s or anyone else’s presence. All she could focus on were the two boys whimpering pathetically on the floor._

_She first went to Edward where she flipped him onto his back and sat on top of him. She then began to mercilessly punch his face and neck. After a few seconds into it her impassive face broke into a sadistically excited one and her fists came down harder along with her delirious laughter._

_“I will kill you.” Ymir roared, voice deepened demonically and echoing frightening in the absolutely silent room._

_The other students reacted to her voice and some screamed and ran from the room. Others wanted to help, but knew not want to do. Most simply sat and watched._

_“Ymir, stop it!” Krista tried to grab Ymir’s wrists but she was strong and she wasn’t responding to Krista’s voice. Eventually, when Edward passed out and a spray of blood flew from his mouth after a cough, Krista threw herself on top of him and squeezed her eyes shut._

_Ymir’s fist paused a second from Krista’s face. Her sadistic smile slowly turned into a frown, and then the red hue melted from her eyes. Her dark skin lightened to its usual tan, and then Ymir blinked back into reality._

_When reality crashed down on her and she stumbled back a good few paces, students began to yell and talk all together and the chaos all rushed right over Ymir’s head. Panic filled her senses, and if Krista hadn’t pulled her into a fierce hug then she would have bolted from the room._

Krista’s finger caressed along a black vein that travelled to the back of Ymir’s neck. It was the only one that was visible outside of clothing, and so Ymir had grown her hair to cover it.

“But I’m here if you get angry,” Krista pointed out. “I’ll always stop you before you do too much damage.”

Ymir sighed. She collapsed onto her back and pulled Krista down onto her. Krista didn’t resist and she wound up nestled against Ymir’s side, cheek pressed to her naked shoulder.

“What if these veins cover my whole body one day?” Ymir asked suddenly.

Krista considered it. “Well, you could always pass them off as a tattoo.”

“I mean, what would you think?”

“I’d still love you,” Krista said. She leaned up and kissed the corner of Ymir’s mouth. “You’re Ymir, even if you’ve inherited some mystical demon gene.”

“It isn’t mystical. It’s a nightmare.”

Krista sobered. “Okay, yeah. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”

“My curse isn’t something to be made light of.”

Krista plopped back down and pressed a hand to Ymir’s chest. “Ymir, what did you dream this time?”

“You know how the dream goes,” Ymir answered.

“Is it really the same as every other one?”

“Yeah. Same place, same circumstances. I’m with you and then I go berserk and change completely. Everything goes to shit and I destroy everything.” Ymir’s markings began to burn. She bit into her lip and tensed like a coil.

Krista felt it, so she tugged Ymir down and then changed positions so that Ymir was the one laying on her shoulder by her side. “It’s not a dream, is it?”

Ymir pressed her face into the fabric of Krista’s nightshirt—she had removed her hoody before resting. “No,” she answered. “It’s not a dream. It’s a glimpse of the future.”

Krista gently caressed Ymir’s shoulder with her left hand and then she used her right to cup Ymir’s burning cheek. Ymir, under any circumstances, was always alarmingly hot. She let her thumb rub circles beside Ymir’s lips, and then she leaned down to press a kiss to Ymir’s forehead.

“Let’s not worry about any of this demon stuff for now. I’m here now, you won’t dream of it anymore. Go to sleep. We have school tomorrow.”

Thinking about having to go to school was almost as painful as the marks. Ymir grimaced, and then she wrapped an arm around Krista’s waist, silently thanked the blonde for simply being in her life, and closed her eyes.

Krista continued to rub her back until Ymir’s breathing evened and she slipped into a peaceful sleep. Krista followed, dreaming of wonderful dreams where Ymir wasn’t rooted to a terrible fate and where she wasn’t destined to fall to ashes with her.

XxX

Three hours later Krista woke with a light yawn. She found that during their sleep the both of them had changed positions, Ymir spooning Krista from behind. She smiled affectionately, placed a kiss on Ymir’s damp forehead and then stood from the bed. She silently padded out of the room, towards the kitchen, to get a glass of water and painkillers. Ymir would soon wake from pain.

On her trek a door creaked open and Krista paused to look behind her. Worried blue eyes met her own. “Did she have another dream?” Nanaba asked.

Krista smiled lightly and nodded. “She’s okay now. She might wake with a headache, so I’m getting something for it.”

Nanaba merely nodded.

“Is Krista here?” Someone peeked over Nanaba’s shoulders.

“I’m here Mina,” Krista said with a broader smile.

“Krista’s always here,” Marco commented from inside of the kitchen. No one had noticed him there.

“What? Is Krista here?” Berthold wobbled into the hallway from his bedroom, yawning and scratching his tousled head.

Nanaba grinned. “Get back to bed,” she told Mina. “You’re sick and shouldn’t be up. Berthold, you and Marco make sure that you aren’t late this time. Krista, I leave Ymir in your hands.”

Krista sent everyone a smile. They knew her so well that seeing her randomly walking through the house at any time of the day had become a normal thing. Nanaba, Berthold, Marco and Mina were all Ymir’s adopted siblings. Their foster parents were out on vacation, leaving the eldest, Nanaba, to watch over the younger ones. Mina was the youngest at fourteen, while Marco and Berthold were sixteen, and Ymir was the second oldest at seventeen. Krista was pleased to be older than her by four months. Nanaba had recently turned nineteen.

None of the siblings knew of Ymir’s real plights. They, as well as their parents, believed that Ymir suffered from depression, anxiety and a plethora of other mental problems. Ymir had encouraged them to believe that, but Krista could tell how tired Ymir was becoming of pretending that she wasn’t turning into a demon powerful enough to destroy the earth in a single night.

Nanaba ushered Mina back into the room and the two brothers hurried off to shower and ready for school. Krista retrieved what she had come out to get and then she headed back to the room with an extra damp cloth. Ymir was awake when she closed the door gently behind her.

Ymir startled at the sound and snapped her eyes to the door, and then she visibly relaxed and rubbed a hand over the side of her face. She sat up slowly, chest heaving with anxiety. Krista sat by the edge of the bed and placed the glass and pills on the bedside table. She gripped the cloth and reached out to touch Ymir’s cheek.

“What’s wrong?”

Ymir furrowed her brows and scowled. “Nothing.”

Krista could see that something was wrong. Ymir had been in a full blown panic before she stepped back into the room. Thinking of that made her suddenly realize what the issue could have been.

“Did you think that I left?”

Ymir shrugged. “Wouldn’t surprise me.”

“Do you realize how terrible a liar you are when you’re lying to me?” Krista scooted closer and used the cloth to wipe the sweat from Ymir’s collarbone. “I’d never leave, you know that.”

Ymir smiled despite her still racing heart. “I know,” she said quietly.

Krista beamed in response and continued to wipe Ymir down. She didn’t need to do this, since Ymir could simply take a shower, but she felt like doing something important for Ymir, to show that she really did care and wanted to put effort into helping.

After Ymir was wiped down she struggled to dress into her school uniform and then swallowed a few pain pills. Her mood remained dampened as the minutes ticked away and by the time she and Krista strode into school, Ymir felt like skipping school and hiding in a ditch somewhere.

She reached out and took Krista’s hand in her own, and felt her spirit rise slightly when Krista looked up and smiled at her. They walked hand-in-hand towards class, ignoring the whispers and the staring.

Since the beginning the students had decided that Ymir wasn’t a pleasant person to be around, and she wasn’t by nature. She had been extremely aggressive, lashing out to anyone in her way, even if it was someone simply staring. That was a time before Krista had entered the school, and when she had shown interest in Ymir, the few friends that Krista had first made were baffled. Over time Krista abandoned the others for Ymir, and now she and Ymir were inseparable. A lot of people had given them problems over it, but Krista obviously kept Ymir calm and no one as stupid as James would try to separate them again. Still—the whispers and gossip continued.

They all thought Ymir was a basket case.

Their register class quieted upon their entrance, and Ymir sent everyone a hard glare. The students immediately looked away, nervous, and started to softly whisper to one another.

Ymir sat down by her usual seat closest to the door, and Krista sat beside her. The second bell hadn’t rung yet, so Krista scooted her chair over to Ymir and then she rested her chin on Ymir’s shoulder—she was lying on her arms. Ymir smiled faintly but Krista couldn’t see it.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Ymir responded tonelessly.

Krista frowned. “You were complaining just a moment ago. What got you so down all of a sudden?”

Ymir shifted and turned her head away. “Nothing.”

The teacher came in then and Krista had to move back over to her desk. When the second bell rang and the teacher read the announcements to them, Krista could only watch Ymir. Even though she claimed to be fine, her shoulders were shaking and her fists were balled into tight, whitening fists.

She was already in so much pain.

XxX

When first break started Ymir was irritated beyond belief. People wouldn’t stop staring at her, or whispering about her. Ever since she had nearly beaten Edward to death, people wouldn’t stop acting as if she was a monster.

But who was she kidding? She was steadily growing into one.

Ymir left her third period and made her way outside. She watched out for Krista, wanting nothing more than to be enveloped in her warmth and love. She would never admit how much she depended on Krista for emotional comfort.

The corridor she walked through spread out before her, students fleeing to classes or pressing themselves to the wall. When Ymir caught sight of Edward and James standing together in a doorway, she couldn’t control the smirk she sent their way.

Edward was quick to look away, to hide his permanently crooked nose and the large scar underneath his eye. James limped a step backwards, forced to permanently walk in such a way, and glared fiercely. Ymir snapped her attention away the minute she realized what she was doing and forced her lips into a frown.

She hated when sadistic pleasure dictated her actions.

The fact that Krista hadn’t bumped into her yet, in a rush to be by her side, made Ymir’s blood pressure rise. She had no faith in her own ability to remain calm, and so she quickened her footsteps and then paused by the door of the school building.

There, on the grass where students grouped together to eat and talk, Krista stood with a tall blonde guy. Ymir didn’t recognize him, but he had a hard edge to his face. His entire body was bulky and muscular and the sight made Ymir internally cringe. What was further troubling was the smile he kept giving Krista, and how he kept brushing a hand over her shoulder. After a minute of staring and thinking, Ymir flicked her eyes away, ashamed.

She wanted to kill him. She wanted to close her fist and make his large body explode into red mist. The desire was so great that Ymir felt the air shimmering around her, and the veiny marks along her body almost seemed to shiver in delight. They burned, and Ymir hastily clutched at her chest in an attempt to grab at the pain and make it stop

 _She should just find someone like him. Marry someone else, have kids and live a happy, healthy life,_ Ymir thought. _I’m the worst decision she has ever made. How can I protect her when she is the one doing the protecting? I can barely function anymore. Krista deserves more. She deserves an equal—not a broken monster like me._

It wasn’t the first time Ymir had thoughts such as these. Since the moment Krista had professed love towards her, Ymir had doubted and felt ashamed that someone as wonderful as Krista felt that way. She felt like she was manipulating Krista into liking her. Sometimes she even physically harmed her. Ymir felt not one shred of trust in herself. She despised her existence, but she was cursed to live until her heart simply ceased to function.

When Ymir had first discovered what her life meant she had attempted to end it. First she had taken so many pills that it would have killed her instantly, but absolutely nothing happened. She had then tried to stab herself, but the wounds healed too quickly. No matter what she had tried, her body was determined not to perish. It was in those moments that Ymir realized she had no choice but to stay alive, and that she had to figure out her own way of surviving.

She had been so angry at the world. Since the beginning Ymir despised everyone and everything.

But Krista hadn’t looked at her like she was a beast. Krista hadn’t treated her like dirt. Krista gave her a sense of being alive, not just existing. The intense attachment Ymir had to Krista was almost sickening. It was frightening and it would only ever lead to tragedy. But Ymir was as selfish as she was angry. No matter how many times her hands hurt Krista, she still wanted to hold her and caress her skin. No matter how many times she made Krista cry, she still wanted to wipe her tears away and promise to never hurt her again. No matter how many times she pushed Krista away, she still wanted to pull her back and never let her leave.

Ymir’s heart suddenly thudded with intense pain, and her face contorted in agony. It was physical and emotional and Ymir suddenly felt a bubbling panic claw up from her stomach and her lungs forgot how to work. She couldn’t breathe or think and she started to hyperventilate. Students walking by sent her alarmed looks, but no one offered to help.

Ymir’s chest burnt intensely and with a spurt of strength she pushed off from the wall she had fallen against and then made her way to her only hope at life.

What approach should she take? Aggressive and possessive? Calm and concise? Ymir couldn’t decide. She just continued to stumble closer, hand outstretched, reaching for Krista.

Krista hadn’t noticed her yet, but her body language had changed. She now had her arms crossed over her chest and an angry scowl on her face. The log she was talking to looked amused. He continued to speak.

“Come on, it’s just a date.”

“Reiner, you’re new here. You shouldn’t ruin your first day by looking for trouble with me. I may be small but I will attack if I feel threatened.”

Reiner’s eyes widened slightly, and then he cracked up and started to laugh. “Oh lord, they weren’t kidding!”

“Who wasn’t kidding?”

“Everyone in my class! I noticed you this morning and did some asking around. They all told me not to even look at you because of that psycho stuck to you. Where is she, by the way? She didn’t look all that threatening to me.”

Krista rolled her eyes, unimpressed. She was about to comment, but then Ymir’s strangled voice cut in.

“Krista is _mine_.”

Reiner blinked in surprise and stepped back in alarm when he caught sight of the furious expression on Ymir’s face. She looked pale and she was hyperventilating, clutching at her chest as if she was having some sort of attack.

Krista immediately reacted to Ymir’s appearance. “Ymir! What happened? Are you okay?”

Ymir didn’t respond. She kept staring into Reiner’s unsure face. She had heard their last few exchanges. “If you ever touch what’s mine again, I will take something that’s yours and destroy it while you watch.” She cracked an ugly grin and tightened the fist at her heart.

“What the fuck, man? She isn’t your property!” Reiner yelled. People in the vicinity immediately turned to watch the ruckus. Some people grew concerned for Reiner, while others whispered that maybe he had enough guts to attack Ymir. They were anticipating an epic battle.

Krista frowned. “Reiner, I don’t appreciate you speaking to Ymir that way.”

“I have a damn right to defend myself! She’s acting like I just committed a sin!”

Ymir laughed, long and hard and it was so painful that she collapsed to her knees. Suddenly her body convulsed and—heart racing too fast—she vomited a pool of blood.

“Shit,” Ymir cursed between gushes of blood. She collapsed onto her back and couldn’t control the pain wracking through her limbs. The black marks, throbbing and bleeding, stained her uniform red and burnt. They extended further, now crawling over her shoulders up to her neck. They paused just before touching her jaw, and by her arms they ceased growing just to her wrists.

Ymir threw up again and put a hand to her mouth in a lame attempt to keep the blood from spilling out.

Krista was on her knees in seconds, panicking. Reiner stumbled back a good few steps and watched with revulsion, no doubt confused about why the cute blonde hung around such a disturbed person with obviously freaky health issues. Other students continued to watch and someone finally ran to find a teacher.

This wasn’t the first time Ymir had lost a lot of blood due to puking it up, but it was the first time Krista had ever seen her lose so much. Ymir was in obvious pain, so she quickly pulled Ymir towards her and let her head rest on her lap. She gently cupped Ymir’s face in her hands and leaned down to touch their foreheads.

“Ymir, please calm down. Your body can’t handle your emotions. Just relax and breathe.”

But she couldn’t. Blood seeped down her throat and leaked into her lungs. Ymir coughed violently and struggled against Krista’s hold until eventually the blood stopped and she could breathe again.

The teacher arrived then, gasping in horror at the scene. “Ymir what have you done now?!” he yelled. It was common for a teacher to assume Ymir had done some bad deed to warrant so much blood. It took a second for the teacher to realize that it was actually Ymir’s blood, and then he grew concerned if the student was alive or not.

“Krista,” Ymir lifted a bloody hand and touched Krista’s jaw. Her eyes had tears leaking from them. “Please take me away from here.”

Krista nodded once, and then she helped Ymir up onto her feet. She swung one of Ymir’s long arms around her shoulder and quietly encouraged her to stand.

“Hang on, I’ll call an ambulance!” the teacher said hurriedly.

Krista turned pitying eyes towards him. “It’s okay, I’ll take her.”

No one made a sound. No one breathed.

The teacher nodded dumbly.

Ymir chuckled lightly as Krista dragged her to the school gate. “I didn’t think this would ever happen at school,” she said. “Usually happens after I wake up from a dream.”

Krista’s arm wrapped around Ymir’s waist tightened and she gave Ymir’s hip a pat. “Yeah, well it was bound to happen sometime.”

“I usually feel when it will happen.”

“Then what happened this time?”

They reached Ymir’s car and Krista helped her into the passenger seat.

“I…” Ymir sighed heavily and used her sleeve to wipe some blood from her chin. She was so immune to the sight of thick, mucus-like blood that she barely reacted to being covered in it now.

Krista fastened Ymir’s seatbelt and then hurried to the driver’s side. “Do you have the keys on you?”

Ymir nodded and pointed at her pocket. She felt so tired, like if she closed her eyes she wouldn’t wake up. She could barely move, either. The pain was still there but it was ebbing. Glancing in the side mirror made Ymir sigh, because the marks were now visible—three large ones spiralled along her neck, one on each side and then one in the centre. The next time they grew, Ymir knew they would cover her face.

Krista quickly fished the keys from Ymir’s pocket and then she started the car and drove them out of the school parking lot. “What happened Ymir? What made you so upset?”

“Let’s leave,” Ymir replied instead.

Krista blinked. “Leave?”

Ymir nodded. “Leave school, this city, our families.” She lazily rubbed at the blood along her arms. They weren’t heading to a hospital, Ymir knew that. There was no way she would be able to explain why sometimes when she got too upset her body reacted by making her throw up most of her blood.

“Okay,” Krista responded without hesitation. “We can pack a few essential things and then head out tonight. Where could we go, though?”

Ymir laughed softly. “You’d leave on a whim with me, just like that?”

Krista frowned in concentration. “Of course I would.”

“I’m so tired of school, Krista. We both know that everyone hates me and I’m tired of being labelled as a beast. I only want you in my life, no one else. I’d even leave without you because I’m so tired of this shitty life.”

Krista thought for a moment. “There’s nothing I really wanted to study, anyway. I could find a job as a waitress wherever we end up; make just enough for us to travel to the next place. You… you want to find out more about your situation, don’t you?”

Ymir glanced at Krista. Unsurprisingly, Ymir’s eyes were red. Krista wasn’t frightened by them. In fact, when they parked in the driveway to Ymir’s house Krista turned towards her after switching the car off. She leaned in as close as she could and took Ymir’s jaw in her hand. She studied Ymir’s eyes carefully.

The whites were turning grey and would eventually mist over to black. Her irises were a mix between red and brown, and would darken the longer Ymir left them like that.

Krista swallowed. “Your eyes…” she said, grasping for the right words. “They’re… um…”

Ymir looked away, frowning. “They look awful, I know.”

Krista shook her head and gave Ymir’s nose a tap with her finger. “I was going to say something more along the lines of exotic, intense. Beautiful, even.”

Ymir’s eyebrow lifted. “Krista, are you sure you aren’t the mentally retarded one here?”

Krista allowed herself to laugh in amusement. “Maybe I am.” She shrugged. “I just don’t find them scary.”

“But if I was angry at you with these eyes, then you would be scared.”

At the moment Ymir was calm. Her body was slowly recovering and some of the blood was starting to evaporate, but she would still need a shower. Her eyes were only changing because her body was trying to change into what it naturally was. Ymir, however, wouldn’t let it. She strained to keep her body from changing, but it sometimes took a little time and concentration to revert the shifting.

“Okay,” Krista said, seriously considering it, “I think that maybe if you were furious at me and your eyes changed, I’d be scared a little.”

“A little?” Ymir’s eyes narrowed and darkened. She suddenly shot forward, pushing Krista against the car door, and then she growled so loudly that Krista’s eyes slammed shut and she covered her ears. When she opened her eyes, Ymir’s teeth were bared inches from her face, bloody and sharp and she looked so angry that Krista felt a shiver of terror rocket up her spine.

Ymir’s head cocked to the side, and then the anger faded away to sadness and she gently pulled Krista up with her. “You were absolutely terrified,” she concluded.

Krista’s heart was pounding in her ears. Her body tingled from the adrenalin that had yet to fade away. She sucked in a few large breaths and then she turned to Ymir with a disapproving frown.

“Of course I would get the fright of my life if you do that!”

Ymir shook her head in exasperation and rubbed at her sore eyes. “Stop acting like I’m not dangerous and like you aren’t scared of me.”

Krista scratched her cheek. “Okay, yes, I’m still scared of you when you might attack me. But on your normal days? I don’t fear you. I love you Ymir.” Krista reached out and clasped Ymir’s hand in her own. She felt Ymir’s claws and glanced down to see that they had grown out. Ymir’s fingers were also larger than they should have been.

“Love?” Ymir said with a scoff. “What is love, really?”

“It’s the unbearable emotions you hold for another. The care and need and desire.”

Ymir snorted. “I’m not in love with you Krista, I’m obsessed with you. I’m dependant on you and in need of you.”

Krista blushed lightly despite the tense atmosphere. “Well, that can be your own kind of love. We all love differently.”

“Then my form of love is twisted and should be shied away from.”

Krista groaned and fell onto Ymir’s lap. “Ymir, baby, please stop getting so dramatic. So far I’ve loved the way you love me.”

Ymir’s brows furrowed and her cheeks highlighted with a small blush, though it was barely visible thanks to the drying blood on her skin.

“What are we, Krista?” Ymir asked.

Krista sat up in Ymir’s lap and traced the black marks on her neck. She actually thought that they looked really cool, though she would never admit that to Ymir because she was intensely ashamed of the markings.

“We are friends,” Krista answered. “We are family. But are we lovers?”

Ymir seemed irritated that Krista was asking that of her instead of answering it herself. “Well, we kiss. Normal couples kiss, right?”

Krista grinned. “They do.”

“We… hold hands, too.”

“We also cuddle.” Krista added.

“What else do couples do?”

Krista shrugged. “Whatever they want to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

Ymir barely initiated more than holding hands and a light kiss. More times than not she was unsure of what actions to take and if Krista would be appreciative of them or not. Their physical relationship was so tame that Krista sometimes grew frustrated—but that wasn’t something a little self-loving couldn’t take care of. Ymir was so scared of her own body that Krista knew they would never really be able to be more intimate. Besides, she wasn’t even sure if they were actually dating because neither of them had spoken about it.

Even though Krista had confessed her feelings and Ymir had sort of responded to them, the nature of their relationship was still a mystery to the both of them.

_“Krista, what’s wrong?” Ymir was watching her fidget and blush, and her actions were starting to make Ymir nervous. Was she doing something wrong?_

_“N-nothing, really,” Krista responded. She bit into her lip and closed her eyes for a moment to breathe and calm her heart._

_She and Ymir had been hanging out for two years then, and since the very first moment Krista had looked into Ymir’s haunted eyes, she had fallen head-over-heels in love with her. It was so intense that her skin would tingle and burn whenever Ymir touched her._

_For two years she had kept the feelings to herself, but it was becoming more difficult. As she learnt about Ymir’s problems, they grew closer. Often Krista had to comfort Ymir by holding her through the night or simply holding her hand when she was troubled. It confused Krista, but she supposed that Ymir wasn’t very versed in teenage love affairs. It was amusingly obvious how Ymir was ignorant in social interactions. She had avoided communication so vehemently before that she lacked the most basic social skills. Thankfully Krista was the kind of bug that dug its teeth in and never let go, so she had desperately worked to gain Ymir’s trust until she stopped ignoring her and yelling for her to piss off._

_But now Krista had reached her limit and she desperately needed to confess or else her heart was sure to burst. More than anything she wanted Ymir’s love and devotion all to herself, and even if the brunette didn’t feel that way about her now Krista was determined to make Ymir fall in love with her._

_Krista was over the days of hating herself and living for others. Now she only lived for Ymir and herself, and she was giving into one of her most selfish desires; teenage hormones._

_Krista fidgeted again and decided on a bold move. She crawled onto Ymir’s lap and nervously grabbed a hold of her shoulders. Ymir was wearing a tank top, so Krista was mostly holding onto Ymir’s burning skin. Just that slight contact made Krista’s lower regions throb. Her heartbeat spiked and it took a few seconds for her to level out her breathing enough to speak._

_Ymir had been staring in panic the entire time._

_“K-Krista?”_

_“Ymir, how do you feel about me?” Krista asked nervously._

_Ymir seemed confused, if the narrowing of her eyes and scrunching of her eyebrows were any indication. Krista almost squealed at how cute it was._

_“I, um… pleasant?”_

_Krista sucked in a breath and slapped a hand to her forehead before she burst into laughter. “Really Ymir? Pleasant?”_

_Ymir shrugged lamely and grew flustered. “Was it wrong? I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”_

_Krista lifted her head and couldn’t help but look down at Ymir’s lips. They were thin and wide, but they looked so soft and tasty. Krista’s heart began to race again, and then it skipped a good couple of beats when Ymir suddenly pressed her palm to Krista’s chest, right above her heart—and also mostly over her breast._

_“Your heart is beating too fast,” Ymir said softly, worried. “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”_

_The thundering sound of Krista’s heart pounding excitedly filled Ymir’s ears, making her own heart speed up to match its rhythm._

_“Oh Ymir, I love you so much,” Krista uttered. She fell forward and wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck, burying her face against the warm skin there. She felt Ymir swallow._

_It seemed that even though she was oblivious to certain body language, Ymir’s own body still reacted to specific situations. Right now it was reacting exactly as Krista’s was, and she wondered if Ymir’s skin tingled when she touched it too. Did Ymir become breathless when she thought about her?_

_Ymir hesitantly wrapped her arms around the small body against her chest, and then the strangest warmth enveloped her. It was nothing like she had ever felt before, and it reminded her of the comfort of being held lovingly by a parent. The sensation was strange, because it was also accompanied by the strangest tingle that shot down Ymir’s spine to between her legs._

_“About you,” Ymir eventually said. “How I feel is…” she paused and Krista sat up to nervously watch her face. “Warm.” Ymir finally concluded._

_Krista watched Ymir’s brown eyes cloud over in a multitude of emotions and when she saw care and love there, she could not control herself and leaped forward to press her lips to Ymir’s. Ymir was so surprised that she released a high pitched squeak, and then she hesitantly kissed back until they were both flushed and breathing heavily._

_“You are so special to me,” Krista said fondly, running her fingers through Ymir’s short brown hair. “Don’t ever forget that. I love you more than anything.”_

_Ymir nodded dumbly, unsure of what other response was needed. Krista rested against her chest again and Ymir hugged Krista to her body. She pressed her cheek to Krista’s blonde hair and decided that she liked the warmth and that she never wanted to lose it._

_Krista made her feel so warm and tingly inside. It was the most alive she had ever felt._

“I want to touch you,” Krista answered, running a finger down Ymir’s neck until her collarbone, making Ymir shiver. “I want to talk to you, laugh with you, cry with you and get angry with you.” She grinned then and brushed their noses together, causing Ymir to smile so adorably that it melted Krista’s heart. “I want to hold your hand, and cuddle with you when it’s cold. I want to share my dreams and secrets with you. I want to kiss you.” To add to her words Krista leaned in and pressed a light kiss to Ymir’s lips.

“I’ll taste like blood,” Ymir warned.

Krista giggled. “Then I’ll have to collect a kiss later. You owe me.”

Ymir rolled her eyes but smiled. Her smile then turned nervous. “Is that… is that it?”

Krista calmly shook her head. “No. I’d like to be more intimate with you one day.”

“M-more intimate?”

The more Krista caressed her skin the hotter Ymir felt. She knew what Krista meant. She wasn’t as naïve and ignorant as she had been three years ago.

Krista leaned in close and brushed their lips together, though not kissing just yet. She inhaled through her nose and then closed her eyes, blushing lightly. “I want to make love to you one day.”

Ymir’s stomach filled with butterflies and the red in her eyes sharpened. However, her claws withdrew until her hands were back to normal, and then she captured Krista’s lips between her own and used both hands to grip Krista’s small hips.

Krista didn’t care that Ymir tasted like blood. All she could focus on was the heat of Ymir’s tongue, of the pressure as it danced against her own. She shivered when Ymir’s hands slipped underneath her shirt and trailed upwards along her back to caress her shoulders. Ymir then dragged her fingertips downwards, gently, making Krista moan lightly and squirm.

Krista could feel heat pooling between her legs but she did not act on it. More than likely Ymir could smell it, and just the thought of what she might be thinking made Krista blush more intensely.

Eventually Ymir ended the kiss, lightly pushing Krista away from her body. “We should get out of the car,” Ymir said softly, panting and eyes averted.

Krista sighed softly but obeyed and climbed out of Ymir’s lap to exit through the driver’s side door. Ymir almost whimpered when the warmth of Krista left her skin.

When they had exited the car Krista grabbed Ymir’s hand and smiled up at her. “You should shower quickly, because you still owe me a proper bloodless kiss.”

Ymir lifted an eyebrow. She had just rejected Krista and she was acting as if nothing had happened. Perhaps it was that she was simply used to it. Ymir felt bad, so when they walked through the front door she lightly pressed Krista against it and then ghosted a kiss over her lips.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her breath washing over Krista’s quivering lips.

Krista smiled. “You don’t need to apologise. I understand. I don’t need sex from you to love you. I can live without it, forever even, if I have to.”

Ymir straightened and rubbed at the back of her neck. “Forever? I don’t think I’d be cool with that.”

“Oh so you get all hot and bothered too?” Ymir blushed and Krista laughed. “Good to know that I’m not the only frustrated one.” She gave Ymir a firm hug. “But you don’t need to worry about things like sex, okay? If you feel that you’re one day ready for it, then that’s cool, and if you’re never ready then that’s cool too.”

Ymir gave Krista’s head a pat. “I’ll shower quickly. We should pack after and leave before everyone gets home.”

Krista nodded and reached around Ymir to give her firm buttocks a wonderful squeeze. Ymir gasped softly and then she frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Are you trying to molest me?”

Krista laughed and waved her hand. “Go and shower, you big baby. I’ll be out here watching TV.” She plopped down onto the couch and then reached for the remote, but paused. “Oh wait I’m full of blood. Damn.” She turned to Ymir. “Could I shower too?”

Ymir went red to the tips of her ears. “What?! We… you… together?”

Krista stood and grinned. “No, silly. I’ll use the shower in Nanaba’s room. Could I borrow some clothes for now, though?”

Ymir released a relieved breath and nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll get something quick.” She hurried to her room to grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and then she found Krista in Nanaba’s bathroom, already preparing to undress. “Here.” She handed the clothes, kissed Krista on the forehead and then made her way to her own room, more than ready to peel her clothes off and get the remaining dried blood off.

Ymir’s room was dark, thanks to her thick, black curtains, so she had to switch a light on and then the bathroom light as well. She switched the shower on and fumbled to get her clothes off while the water warmed.

Now naked, Ymir paused to inspect the extended marks. They looked the same, just longer. The ones on her neck bothered her the most, because she wasn’t sure what others would make of them. Sure, they could be passed off as tattoos but who gets a weird black vein tattoo on their neck?

Shrugging the irritation off, Ymir got into the shower and sighed when the warm water washed over her worn body. She pressed her hands to the shower wall and bowed her head, letting the water run over every inch of herself.

The water at her feet dyed red for a long while as Ymir worked at scrubbing the substance from her skin and hair. After she was properly cleaned of blood, Ymir froze underneath the water and stared down at her palms. They were pinkish because of the heat, and the black veins looked as if they were still crawling up her wrists to invade her unmarked skin.

Ymir thought of Krista then. She imagined what it would be like to touch Krista without feeling scared of hurting her, without having to hold back because she had such unnatural strength and she couldn’t control it. Ymir even imagined what it would be like to pleasure Krista with her hands.

The thought was absurd, but a sudden sadness invaded Ymir’s senses and she felt droplets splash against her open hands

They were not water droplets.

Ymir realized that she had tears pouring over her skin, and when she did she angrily wiped them away and sniffed loudly. Was she seriously crying?

She wished that she could be normal. She wanted to be able to normally interact with Krista, but she couldn’t.

It was about time she accepted what she was, but it was so difficult. It was painful to know what she was and angering to know that she hadn’t chosen this. She was born this way, and absolutely nothing would ever negate that.

A monster is always a monster; it might just take different forms. Its form this time had brown eyes and freckles.

Ymir quickly got over her sudden depression and dressed as quickly as she could. She wore a long sleeved black cotton shirt, black jeans and then a red hoodie. Once she slipped a pair of shoes over her feet she bounded out of her room and down the hallway to the lounge. There she found Krista seated comfortably, remote in hand and eyes trained on the TV.

Krista heard Ymir’s footsteps and turned with a smile. When she caught sight of Ymir she lifted her hand and made a gesture for Ymir to sit beside her. Ymir obeyed and Krista quickly crawled into her lap.

“Your hair is a lot longer than it used to be,” Krista pointed out.

Ymir self-consciously ran a hand through her wet hair. “Do you prefer it short?”

“I don’t know about preferring it short but I really did like how you looked. I guess I also just want you to be proud of who you are, instead of ashamed.”

Ymir understood what she meant. By letting her hair grow, Ymir was concealing the marks on her neck. Well, it was no longer a problem anymore because Ymir could do nothing to cover the marks in the front, and she was so tired of hiding that she wasn’t motivated to find a different solution.

Ymir considered something for a while, and then she turned Krista’s head with a finger under her chin, and smiled. “I think I’ll get it cut sometime soon.”

Krista’s eyes widened to saucers, and then welled with tears. It was an absolutely dramatic reaction, but Krista knew what it meant to Ymir. It meant that Ymir would try to show her marks without feeling ashamed. When she chose to cut her hair, and how long she managed to keep it like that were the real questions, but Krista was proud of Ymir for simply uttering the sentence.

“I can cut it for you, before we leave,” Krista suggested.

Ymir lifted a hand to trace the familiar lines at the back of her neck. She remained quiet, and then she frowned and nodded once. “Okay.”

Krista laughed then, overjoyed. “What kind of hairstyle do you want? I think a punk style would make you look so hot. How about an undercut? Oooh what about short enough for a mowhawk?” Krista babbled on and on, and Ymir realized that Krista knew more about hair than she had thought.

“Since when did you become a hairdresser?”

Krista quieted and grinned proudly. “Well, I go to this guy called Jean and he always used to do my hair. I once asked him how he cuts hair so perfectly and he spent an entire day teaching me how. I don’t think I’m good enough to work as one but I can certainly do your hair fabulously.” Krista ran a hand through Ymir’s hair to ruffle it. “When do you wanna cut it?”

Ymir swallowed, suddenly extremely nervous. She squeezed her eyes shut, inhaled and exhaled through her nose, and then opened her eyes. “Now?”

Krista’s eyes sparkled.

XxX

A few hours later Ymir was strapping her seatbelt in and Krista jumped into the passenger seat. They had just finished packing a few things into the trunk as well as the backseat—things such as canned food, clothing, toiletries and blankets and pillows.

When Ymir started the car, she nervously glanced at her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Her hair was much, much shorter now. It was closely cropped at the sides, while the hair on top of her head was still relatively long, curling over her forehead just before her eyebrows. Although it had been a harrowing experience, Ymir felt a lot more at ease now. Her initial panic had subsided. Even after being able to see the marks at the back of her neck, Ymir continued to convince herself that this was a good decision.

Another helpful fact was that Krista couldn’t stop running her hand through Ymir’s hair and cooing. It was partly annoying as hell but mostly pleasant, since it made Ymir feel attractive instead of repulsive. At least Krista still _wanted_ to jump her bones, demon heritage aside.

Before she drove away from the house, though, Ymir paused to stare at it and silently thank the people that had tried to be her family.

“They’ll miss you,” Krista said softly, a hand placed on Ymir’s shoulder in comfort. “But they’ll understand. If you want, we can always come back to visit.”

Ymir finally reversed and shook her head. “Nah. I don’t think they’d want to see my face again.” She drew in a deep breath. “They would never admit it, but I was too difficult to handle.”

Krista rolled her eyes but silently allowed the comment. She relaxed back into her seat and glanced at the time. It was still early afternoon, so they had a lot of light to travel before night-time.

“So, which way are we heading?”

“North,” Ymir answered. “Towards Dena.”

Krista nodded. “Okay, Dena. Cool. What will we do there?”

Ymir shrugged. “Heard some weird shit happens there, so maybe someone has some knowledge of demons and stuff.”

“Isn’t it a farm town though?”

“Yup. Not many people live there.”

“It should be easy to get a small job then.”

Ymir nodded absently. She focused on driving through the city until it was far behind them. The moment they passed by the sign greeting those leaving Ymir felt an invisible weight drop from her shoulders; it was as if she could suddenly breathe again, and Ymir wasn’t sure what to make of the feeling. Had the city been doing something to her?

Whether it had or not, she was out now. She suddenly felt free and happy and it was a feeling that hardly entered her heart.

Krista decided to turn the radio on, and a song from Imagine Dragons blasted through the car. Krista immediately jumped to singing her lungs out and though the lyrics bothered Ymir, she couldn’t help but tap her finger along with the beat.

Long behind them it was almost as if the goodbye sign was waving.

**“Thank you for visiting Malia, farewell and visit again soon!”**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter II.

**II**

* * *

 

“Mom, she left.”

Nanaba’s fingers quivered as she gripped the cellphone between them. On the other end of the call was her foster mother, who had grown deathly silent before inhaling loudly.

“When?”

“Seems like this afternoon. She took some food and stuff from the bathroom. Her blankets and clothes are gone too.”

As she spoke Nanaba stared at the slip of paper in her hand. It had been left on her bed and the sloppy script was easily recognized as Ymir’s.

“Nanaba, have you told the others?”

“No, they’re in the lounge watching TV. What should I do? Ymir isn’t answering her phone and she didn’t say where she’s going.”

“Do you think she’s alone?”

Nanaba slumped down the wall she had been leaning on and sat on the floor. “She said Krista is with her. Will they be okay out there?”

“Nanaba, Ymir is a survivor. She may have decided to no longer rely on us and instead make a life for herself.”

“But she needs help, mom. You know that she has too many problems to look after herself.”

Nanaba’s foster mother sighed softly. “Nanaba dear, Ymir does have a lot of problems. She is difficult to understand and communicate with. No matter what she will always be a part of this family. Give it some time and she’ll return.”

“How can you be so sure?”

The woman shrugged on her end. “I’m not, but a mother can hope.”

Nanaba’s head dropped. “I’m so worried about her. The others are going to be so upset. How is Mina going to take it? She idolizes Ymir.”

“You know what, I’ll get your father right now and we’ll head back home tonight. I’m already booking a flight. Can you handle the others until then?”

Nanaba smiled in relief. “I can. I think they’re all going to need you both right now.”

“And I’ll need to inform the school. I’m going to start packing now, so tell the others.”

“Okay, thanks mom.”

“Oh, Nanaba?”

“Yeah?

“Please stay safe.”

Nanaba smiled genuinely for the first time since coming home and finding Ymir’s goodbye note. “I will, I promise.”

“Good girl.”

Her mother ended the call and then Nanaba lifted the note and read it once more.

_‘Nanaba, I’ve taken Krista with me. We’re leaving Malia. Please don’t try to find us, but let her parents know. She left a note for them behind this one. We might never return, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you and the others did for me. I just can’t be your problem anymore. I need this, and everyone else does too._

_Ymir.’_

Nanaba reluctantly stood and made her way to the lounge, already mentally working out what she would tell her siblings.

Seriously, what was Ymir thinking?

XxX

Ymir locked her phone and tossed in onto the dashboard, frowning despite the earlier happy mood. She had several missed calls and text messages from Nanaba, and it made her feel unnecessarily guilty. She hated the feeling and the anger was already starting to bubble inside.

They had been driving for a good few hours and Krista had now taken over since Ymir had gone into another fit of pain, almost veering them off of the road. Krista had made a decision then that despite it being Ymir’s car, only she would drive. When Ymir had argued Krista had swiftly shot her argument down with a stern warning. Ymir had been upset and embarrassed but slightly impressed by the blonde’s sudden tenaciousness.

“Ymir, I’m getting really thirsty,” Krista said.

“So?”

Krista turned to give Ymir a look. She sounded upset and the expression on her face was anything but happy. She spotted the phone and then realized what the problem was.

“Why don’t you switch it off for now?”

“Yeah.” Ymir leaned forward and grabbed the phone again, and then she shut it off and placed it back down where it had been. “Good idea.”

Krista nodded happily to herself and then spotted a petrol station up ahead. It was close to seven in the evening, so the bright lights and signs of the shops and surrounding cars broke through the collecting darkness.

Krista made the turn off and parked by the petrol pumps to have the car filled up again. After having one of the workers tend to that task, Krista turned to her brooding partner and reached out to run a hand through her shortened hair.

“You look seriously hot, babe.”

Ymir was in no mood for compliments so she said nothing, only continuing to stare out of the window, arms crossed over her chest.

“Come on Ymir, let’s go and get some snacks. I think you need some sugar.”

Krista climbed out of the car, confident that Ymir would follow. The brunette did, though she shoved her hands into her pockets and kept her eyes low as she followed Krista to the shop. The doors automatically swished open when they were near enough, and the air inside was colder than outside. It sent a short shiver through Krista, who immediately went to the section of the store where they kept the sweets.

“Oh! I want some Sour Worms. Hmm, Astros, Jelly Tots, oh my god they have M&Ms!” Krista grabbed the mentioned sweets and ordered Ymir to hold her hands out. Ymir sighed and did as she was told, receiving all of the packets in her large hands. As the pile grew she had to use her arms and her brows began to tick in annoyance.

Krista studied the shelf excitedly after finding something to drink, now deciding on a few packets of chips for the ride. She wasn’t paying particular attention to her surroundings, though, and crashed right into someone when she stepped backwards.

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” the person yelled angrily. “You could’ve—” she paused suddenly when she glanced up and caught sight of Krista reaching out to her.

“I’m so sorry. I was being a ‘tard for not watching around me. Are you hurt?”

The girl dumbly shook her head and allowed Krista to pull her up. Ymir didn’t like the look in her girl’s eyes, so she cleared her throat and stepped up behind Krista, pressing against her, like a looming shadow.

“Whoa, is this your bodyguard or something? Damn.” The girl’s eyes swept over Ymir’s form, pausing at the marks on her neck. Ymir felt the urge to withdraw and look away, but she forced herself to continue staring threateningly.

Krista tilted her head back to stare up at Ymir. She giggled and lifted a hand to poke her cheek. “Stop looking so grumpy, we’re here to have fun.”

Ymir rolled her eyes and sighed, but her tense stance didn’t relax.

“At a petrol station?” the girl asked in amusement. “I’m Raiden by the way.”

Krista immediately lifted her hand to offer a handshake, and she smiled kindly as they shook hands. “I’m Krista! And this brooding hulk is Ymir, my wonderful—” Krista paused and then looked up at Ymir. “We’re dating, right? I can call you my girlfriend?”

Ymir’s eyes widened slightly and then she finally looked away, a light blush on her freckles. “Whatever.”

Krista shook her head. “It’s complicated,” she supplied.

“Are those tattoos?” Raiden asked. She had been staring the entire time and could no longer hold her curiosity back. Krista felt Ymir tense against her and reached out to press a hand against her stomach, a touch to comfort her in case things took a bad turn.

“They are.”

“They look like veins,” Raiden observed. She stepped closer, fingers to her chin and eyes squinted as she concentrated. “I’ve never seen such dark black ink before. Who did the tattoo?”

“No one you’d know,” Ymir replied tightly.

Raiden seemed disappointed. “Aw man, that sucks. They look so cool. Do you just have them on your neck, or…?” Raiden studied Ymir’s exposed skin and spotted the same veiny marks along her arms, since Ymir had shoved the sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows. “Oh hey you have them on your arms too!”

“I have them everywhere,” Ymir said, surprising Krista more than herself.

“Oh cool, could you show me?”

Krista’s eyes widened and when Raiden saw it she quickly raised her hands and waved them, laughing. “Oh no, not like get naked or anything, I meant like just point out the pattern!” She laughed a little longer at the mental image, and Krista joined her.

“Um…” Ymir lifted a hand to run through her hair, unsure of what to say or do. Her heart was pounding in nervousness.

“Oh shit your hair looks cool too!” Raiden exclaimed. “Oh man, you should totally get a lip or eye-ring. That would suit your look so well!”

Krista sent Ymir a nervous glance. She knew how Ymir felt about that. The brunette would never want to have something like a lip-ring, since it would make her look even weirder than she naturally did.

At least Ymir only looked slightly annoyed and not like she was about to snap and break Raiden’s face.

“It… it starts from my chest here,” Ymir pressed a finger to the exact point where the marks began. “And they stretch down my stomach, around to my back and then up over my shoulders to my neck and down my arms.”

Raiden nodded, interested in Ymir’s smooth voice. “Oh man how much did they hurt to get?”

Suddenly Ymir’s face grew serious and she turned on her heels. “Krista, this is enough unhealthy shit. Can we leave?”

Krista sent Raiden, who was unsure and startled, an apologetic look. “It was nice meeting you, but I think she’s just tired. Good luck with whatever you’re doing.”

“Oh um, yeah you too! I’m sorry for the questions.”

Krista waved her concern away and then hurried to stand by Ymir at the till. Luckily the line moved quickly and paying for the sweets barely took a lot of time, which was really quite surprising.

Unfortunately, the woman at the till gave Ymir a perturbed look when she noticed the marks on her neck, and Ymir could smell the judgement from her. But Ymir seemed to merely sigh it away, and then left with the packet containing their snacks without saying anything. Krista would have thanked the woman, but she didn’t, and she glanced over her shoulder to glare when they neared the exit. The woman looked startled at the glare and Krista smirked to herself in satisfaction.

No one looked at Ymir like that and got away with it. Krista hoped that the woman felt bad.

As they left the store and headed for the car, Ymir spotted Raiden heading to the car beside theirs. On a strange impulse, Ymir jogged up to her and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. When Raiden turned she seemed surprised and then suddenly turned worried.

“Hey! Um, look I’m sorry for getting all annoying back there, I didn’t mean—”

“A lot,” Ymir interrupted.

“Um… pardon?”

“These marks,” she lifted her free arm, exposing the spiralling black veins marking her tan skin. “They hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced.”

Raiden’s eyes widened and she couldn’t look away from the marks. “So… so why did you get them?”

Ymir withdrew her arm and shoved her hand into her pocket, shrugging. “Didn’t really have a choice.” She didn’t wait for a response and walked back to Krista, feeling strange inside. A torrent of emotions tumbled around in her head, confusing her.

Raiden stared after her in confusion and then she shrugged and climbed into the car, waiting for her partner to finish and drive them away.

“I didn’t expect you to do that,” Krista commented once they were seated. She accepted the M&Ms from Ymir and opened the packet. “Want some?”

Ymir nodded and opened her palm for Krista to pour a few onto it. Once she had Ymir started to pop them individually into her mouth.

“I don’t know why I did,” she said.

Krista considered her words carefully before she tried to introduce a new idea. “Ymir, did you… was it because she thought the marks looked cool?”

Ymir shrugged. “She’s one of the weird ones then.”

“Then that makes me one too.”

Ymir’s eyes widened and she seemed to freeze. Slowly she turned her head, anxiety and hope and surprise washed over her face. “What does that mean?”

Krista merely shrugged this time. “Figure that out for yourself.” She tossed the last of the chocolate candy into her mouth and then drove them out of there, continuing north towards Dena. It would take another few hours and they would probably have to find somewhere to park the car to sleep.

Ymir sunk down into the seat, arms crossed over her stomach and legs folded. She pressed her forehead to the car door, closed her eyes and prepared to have a little nap. Krista simply continued to drive.

XxX

“Krista, I don’t have a good feeling about this,” Ymir said a tad bit nervously.

Krista glanced behind her, biting her lip in concentration. “Look, let’s just meet with her and then if you still feel that way then we can leave.” She grabbed Ymir’s hand and lightly tugged it. “Come on, she said she knows how to seal it away! We haven’t been successful until now!”

Ymir’s throat felt thick, like her oesophagus had swollen and air couldn’t pass through. Her lungs burnt, her marks tingled and hurt. “Fine,” Ymir finally said. She pulled her arm free and allowed Krista to lead her into the mall.

They wandered around for a good hour, trying to find the restaurant they were supposed to meet at, but it seemed that they were just going in circles.

“Where is it?” Krista asked in frustration.

“Where is the note?”

Krista retrieved the piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Ymir. She wasn’t surprised when the brunette lifted it to her nose and inhaled deeply, eyes closed. Afterwards she gave the paper back and then took Krista’s hand in her own.

“This time follow me.”

Ymir used her insane sense of smell to track the scent on the paper. For the first few minutes she wasn’t following any specific trail, but then she suddenly caught the familiar scent. It led her outside, to where a large fountain stood in the centre of a plaza. There were multiple tables and chairs scattered around, large umbrellas above them to shield those resting from the sun.

There were little children running about, a few even attempting to jump into the fountain for a swim. Luckily a father hurried to catch his daughter and sternly warned her not to act like an animal in public.

Ymir ignored them and followed her nose to the far side of the plaza. There, sitting in the shade wearing nothing but black, was her. When Ymir made to step towards her a sudden black mass flashed by her and then the woman disappeared. Ymir’s heart suddenly stopped and she fell forward, blood climbing up her throat. When she hit the ground she clutched at her chest, spasming.

“Ymir?!” Krista dropped to her knees and panicked, not sure what had happened.

“K-K…” Ymir couldn’t talk. Blood poured from her mouth, leaking down her face onto the concrete at her back.

Her heart still wasn’t beating even though she was still conscious, still alive. Her lungs were still and it was the most awful feeling Ymir had ever felt in her entire life. She clutched and scratched at her chest, trying to get her heart to beat again, terror and panic filling her gut.

People in the area eventually noticed and some rushed in to see what was happening. They formed a circle around Ymir, blocking the sun and all talking at once. Krista tried to reason when them to step back, but none were listening. Ymir couldn’t handle the crowd or the noise, or the pain in her chest, so she started to scream.

The crowd eventually moved back when the screaming turned into something deeper, something more akin to a roar.

Ymir’s eyes snapped open and they were black and red, glowing fiercely.

Krista gasped and tried to gather Ymir into her arms, but the brunette’s skin was too hot. Her body was almost aflame with heat and Krista could see the veiny marks all along her body begin to bleed and glow red.

Ymir screamed and her body arched as it changed. It was then that Krista finally noticed something. There were small markings on Ymir’s wrist, light enough that she hadn’t seen them before. When had they gotten there? Were they doing this?

When Ymir calmed and stood on shaking, weak legs, her horns had already split the skin on her forehead. When she glanced up and vacantly met Krista’s gaze, the blonde knew that everything had just gone terribly wrong.

Ymir gasped as her eyes shot open and she jerked awake. Her chest heaved. The marks on her body burned almost as much as they had in the dream and Ymir blinked suddenly when she felt blood trickle into her eye. “Fuck,” she gasped out softly and hesitantly reached upwards to find the wound.

Her horns were trying to grow again, but had only managed a centimetre so far. It still hurt badly, and Ymir bent over to clutch at her churning stomach. Before she realized it the car had stopped and Krista was pulling her out.

It was just in time and Ymir puked her guts up on the gravel. She heaved and gasped until her stomach was completely emptied of its contents. Ymir shook in pain and wished she was back at home so that she could cool off in a shower.

“Ymir take your shirt off,” Krista ordered softly. When Ymir had done so, she retrieved a bottle of water and poured it over Ymir’s head and shoulders. The water evaporated slowly, since her skin was alarmingly hot.

“Ymir, look here,” Krista gently took Ymir’s face in her hands and turned it so that their gazes could meet. “Look at me. Calm down and take deep breaths.”

Ymir nodded slightly and took large intakes of air through her nose. Krista’s hands were burning slightly but she didn’t remove them or let the pain show on her face. Instead she continued to stare into Ymir’s red eyes, willing the brunette to get control over herself again.

Slowly, painfully, the changing stopped and Ymir’s body turned back to normal. Her blood, along with all of the water, had already evaporated and the wounds caused by her growing horns had healed. Ymir’s skin began to cool and Krista finally let her face go to give her a strong hug.

“Oh god, I was so worried.” Krista said, tears gathering in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Ymir uttered softly, arms around Krista’s torso.

“Don’t you dare apologise,” Krista said sternly. She withdrew to give Ymir a tap on the nose. “You don’t control this. Are you feeling better now?”

Ymir nodded and swallowed the dryness from her throat. “It felt so real,” she said softly. “The pain, and when my heart stopped.” Ymir clenched her teeth and pressed a fist to her forehead. “I fucking hate this!”

Krista pulled Ymir to her chest and rocked them both slowly. “Shh, it’s okay Ymir. It hasn’t happened. You’re alive and well. Your heart is still beating strong.”

Ymir enjoyed the sound of Krista’s pounding heartbeat. She wanted to comment that she was a killer, because she had memories that Krista didn’t know of yet. Memories from the moment she had been born.

“Are you okay to get back into the car?”

Ymir nodded and pulled herself up, using the car to lean on. She dropped into the seat and allowed Krista to fasten her seatbelt, almost laughing at how Krista was almost like her mother and she the infant. She felt like it sometimes. Like sometimes she forgot how to speak or walk and she would just lie on her back, staring in confusion at whatever was above her.

Krista climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. She cast a worried glance at Ymir and finally leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead.

“I love you Ymir,” Krista stated with intense emotion. “I will always love you, no matter what.”

Ymir ignored the comment and pressed her forehead to the cold glass of the car window. She pressed a hand to her chest above her heart, already feeling the pain wracking through her limbs. The black marks were starting to ache and for a second Ymir feared that they would grow even longer, but they didn’t.

Krista felt like her heart was in her throat, and she hoped that their outing wasn’t the worst decision she had ever made. If anything happened to Ymir then she wouldn’t know what to do.

After another hour of driving in the dark, Krista finally decided to park beside the road. She managed to convince Ymir to crawl onto the backseat to settle in for sleep, and with little space ended up having to sleep on top of Ymir.

The brunette acted like she didn’t care, but really she was glad for the weight on her chest. She did not go back to sleep. Instead she watched Krista’s peaceful face.

She never wanted to see Krista cry anguished tears, or it just might break her heart to pieces.

XxX

Krista woke with a little gasp many hours later. It was morning already, with sunlight glaring over her eyes. She felt the car jostle and snapped her head up, scrambling onto her hands and knees. Ymir wasn’t below her or even in the backseat. She was in the driver’s seat.

Ymir glanced lazily over her shoulder and gave Krista a small smile. “Did you sleep well?” she asked.

Krista nodded, mouth dry. Her heart was still beating too fast, pounding loudly in her ears. For a split second she had thought that Ymir had left her, but now she felt ashamed for the thought. Ymir would never leave her, not when she felt so alone and vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Krista finally answered. She climbed into the front passenger seat and ran a hand over her messy blonde locks.

“Heard you gasp,” Ymir said. “Did you have a bad dream?”

Krista looked down at her lap. “No, I was just surprised that you weren’t there.”

Ymir studied the blonde’s face carefully, eyebrow lifted. She detected something else in Krista’s tone, but she shrugged instead of pointing it out. “Okay.”

“When did you wake up?”

Ymir shifted in her seat and tightened her hands on the steering wheel. “Didn’t,” she answered. “I never went to sleep.”

Krista finally noticed the dark circles underneath Ymir’s eyes. She looked pained and exhausted. “Ymir, are you feeling okay?”

“Mm,” Ymir responded absently. To fill the silence and prevent conversation Ymir turned the radio on and then cranked the volume up to its loudest level. Krista flinched at the sudden noise, but then settled into her seat. She understood that Ymir no longer wanted to talk. Sometimes the brunette would be really difficult about her predicament, especially after a dream.

Krista checked the time on the car’s dashboard and then rubbed a hand over her face. It was already ten in the morning. Why had she slept so much? She still felt tired, even.

Ymir lifted one hand to rub the marks at the back of her neck. She was grimacing, so Krista knew that they were probably burning. Krista turned the music down.

“Are they hurting?”

Ymir sighed softly and put her hand back onto the wheel. “I’m fine.”

“That’s not answering my question.”

Krista scooted closer and reached out to touch the marks on Ymir’s neck, close to her jaw, but Ymir leaned away from the touch and glared at her.

“I said I’m fine!”

Krista withdrew back onto her seat and frowned. “What is your problem?!”

“Nothing! You just keep making everything seem like one!”

“I only concern myself because I care about you!”

Ymir snorted. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

The comment hit Krista right in the heart. This was so sudden and she wasn’t sure where the hostility was coming from.

“Excuse me?” Krista’s tone was incredulous. “I leave my home, my family to leave with _you,_ because I love _you,_ and you act like I’m getting something out of it?”

Ymir didn’t respond. Her eyes clouded over with black and red and her hands began to tremble. Anger steadily clawed up her throat.

“I never doubted you once since the day you told me what you’re turning into! I didn’t turn you away or make you feel bad. How can you treat me like I’m here for some cheap thrill?”

“Just shut up!” Ymir roared. Her foot pressed down harder on the acceleration and the air suddenly felt hot and heavy.

Krista wasn’t scared. She was too angry and hurt to feel anything else. She crossed her arms over her chest, lips pressed together firmly. “You do not get to tell me what to do, you asshole. You aren’t even supposed to be driving!”

Ymir’s teeth clenched together and she was about to retort angrily, but instead she remained quiet, silently boiling and fuming inside.

_Who the hell is she to make this about herself? I just don’t want to fucking get her involved. What was I even thinking letting her come with? She’s going to hold this against me forever. Fuck._

Ymir started to growl, and although Krista was angry she turned to the brunette in worry.

“Ymir?” Her tone was softer now, still slightly tinged with upset but mostly worried. “What—”

“Don’t,” Ymir warned.

Krista opened her mouth but shut it when Ymir sent her a stony glare. She hated when Ymir looked at her like that. The little worry she had felt vanished in an instant and she turned forward with an angry glare.

“Stop the car right now,” Krista demanded. When Ymir didn’t respond she kicked the dashboard. “Stop this damn car right now Ymir!”

Ymir shot her a look. “No!”

But the second the words left her mouth something in the car malfunctioned and a torrent of steam spilled out from the front of the car. There was a crackling noise and then the car died and crawled to a steady stop. When it did Ymir pulled the handbrake up, eyebrow ticking.

“Thank you,” Krista said with a smirk. She knew that Ymir’s anger must have stuffed the car up, but it made her feel better to poke at Ymir for it.

“I didn’t do it intentionally!” Ymir screamed.

Krista had enough at that point so she got out of the car and leaned against the door. It was a lot cooler outside of the car. She hadn’t realized how hot the air had suddenly gotten.

Ymir climbed out too and hurried to open the car up to see what had happened. When she lifted the front bonnet steam washed over her and she retreated out of it quickly, coughing and waving the stuff away with her hand. When it cleared she inspected the inside of the car, wishing that she knew what she was looking at. With a sigh she shut it, and then she went over to Krista and stopped beside her.

“Car seems broken. We could walk, I guess. Dena isn’t that far away.”

Krista lifted her chin, eyes closed, and ‘hmpff’ed’ as she turned her back to Ymir.

“Seriously?” Ymir said angrily. She rubbed a hand over her face and growled in aggravation.

“We can’t leave the car,” Krista said.

Ymir simply scoffed and then jumped back into the car, door kept wide open. It was hot and it would only get worse. Krista wasn’t saying anything more; she was just standing outside with her arms crossed and an unhappy look on her face. She did not attempt to speak further.

The couple remained stranded for a good hour before a truck suddenly stopped beside them. Krista tapped the glass at her back, slightly nervous, and was relieved when Ymir stepped up beside her and shielded her with her large shadow.

“You two alright?” A man climbed out of the beat-up truck and eyed them suspiciously. He had short, light brown hair with his fringe parted in the middle to each side. His nose was pronounced and he had hair scattered on his chin and upper lip. He started sniffing the air, eyes narrowed.

“The car broke down,” Krista answered. Ymir remained silent.

“Where you headed?” he asked.

“Dena.”

The man turned suddenly to look down the road, sniffing again. He turned back to them. “What for?”

“Well, we kind of hoped to find somewhere to stay and get a small job. We don’t know anyone there.”

The man stepped closer and eyed Ymir’s exposed marks. “Those tattoos?” he asked. “Are you some kind of delinquent?”

Ymir merely narrowed her eyes in anger. She lifted a hand to cover some of the marks.

“Uh, yes they’re tattoos but she isn’t a delinquent. Please, could you help us?”

The man remained silent for a long moment as he deeply sniffed the air, and once he was done he smirked and then nodded. “Sure. I’m Mike Zacharias.”

“Oh, uh, I’m Krista and this is Ymir!”

Ymir grunted in greeting. Mike walked back to his car and pulled something out. “Attach this to the front bumper,” he said to Ymir, holding the rope out towards her. “I’ll tow it to my farm just outside of Dena.”

Ymir reluctantly obeyed and then they were off, Mike towing them with his truck. Ymir kept her hands on the steering wheel, silent but thinking. She was starting to feel a little guilty. Krista was right, of course. No one had ever shown her that much love before.

Her anger controlled her sometimes, and the lines she had crossed were becoming too many. What would it take for the blonde to eventually leave her? Ymir was terrified of the answer.

A darker part of her mind laughed at her and rejoiced at the thought. Ymir cringed and looked away the entire ride to the farm

XxX

“I don’t have much to give you, but you can stay out in my extra barn,” Mike explained after towing them successfully to his farm. He was standing by their car. “I’ll help you push the car there.”

Krista climbed out of the car, still ignoring Ymir, and approached the man. “I’m really grateful for your help, Mr Zacharias.”

The man blushed lightly. “Just Mike.”

Krista smiled. “Do you know how to fix cars?”

Mike straightened and scratched the bridge of his nose. “Unfortunately not. I have a friend in town that I can call over.”

“And how long would that take?”

Mike shrugged. “I’ll give him a call and let you know. Shouldn’t be more than a day or two.”

Suddenly Krista grimaced. “I don’t suppose this friend would work for free?”

Mike sighed, like he suddenly felt tired and the troubles of the world weighed on his shoulders. It was comical, if not melodramatic.

“You guys can do a few chores for me and I’ll pay him. Deal?”

Krista didn’t stop to wonder why he was being so kind. She reached out and grabbed his extended hand to seal the deal with a handshake. “Thank you, we accept the deal.”

Ymir glared from where she watched by the driver’s seat. She wanted to rip the man’s arm off, but kept herself in check and restrained her growl of anger. Surely he would reconsider this deal if he figured out he’d let a freak onto his land.

Ymir climbed out of the car and looked away when Krista glanced at her. “I can push the car myself,” she said tonelessly.

Mike gave her a long look, and then he glanced down at Krista. The blonde nodded. He seemed reassured, so he rubbed the hair on his chin and then turned on his heel to head into his house. When the door closed behind him, Ymir went to the back of the car and gripped the bottom of it with both hands. Krista ignored her and Ymir cast her a stony gaze as she used her strength to lift the car and push it effortlessly to the barn Mike had indicated towards earlier. Once it was inside she put it down carefully, rubbed her hands off on her jeans and then sighed.

Ymir opened her mouth to say something to Krista, but remembered that they weren’t talking and shut it.

“Uh,” Mike suddenly spoke from the double doors of the barn. He looked apologetic and hesitantly walked into the barn. “I just called my friend,” he explained.

Krista approached him, smiling in reassurance. “What did he say?”

Mike sighed. “He’s not in town right now, and there’s no other mechanic in Dena. He’ll be back next week.”

Krista shrugged. “That’s fine. We have no real destination in mind.”

Mike sighed in relief. “Here,” he handed sleeping bags over to Krista. “I have no extra rooms in my house, so this’ll have to do.” He spied Ymir looming moodily in the background, and lowered his voice. “Listen, are you okay with that person?”

Krista rubbed a hand over her face. “I’m fine, don’t worry. What chores do you want us to do? We could get started right away if you’d like.”

Mike seemed unconvinced about Ymir but straightened and nodded his head. “My house needs painting and I’ve never gotten around to it. Think you could do that? The paint and stuff is already there.”

Krista nodded. “Sure thing!”

“We can drive out to Dena for supper, if you and your friend want. I can’t cook worth a damn.”

“That would be wonderful. We can pay for ourselves.”

Mike nodded and then headed out, waving over his shoulders. “Good luck with painting!”

Krista watched his back as he walked away. She sighed softly under her breath, wondering if she should ask Ymir to join her. Had the brunette heard? Krista knew that Ymir had. She had a strong sense of hearing, just like her sense of smell. Would Ymir help though? She was in an especially cruel mood, the kind of mood that Krista hated.

In the end she decided that she was still too upset to talk to Ymir, so she found a hat in the trunk of the car and then headed out to the house. Even if Ymir didn’t help her, she’d get started on the chore so that Mike didn’t rethink his kindness.

XxX

Mike didn’t come out at all after that, and an hour into painting Ymir had reluctantly joined. Krista had been genuinely surprised, but softened after seeing the struggle in Ymir’s eyes. She knew that Ymir was too stubborn to admit that she was wrong, so her anger dimmed some, but it was still there. She would be angry until the brunette stopped being a jerk and apologised. Krista didn’t deserve the way she had treated her. Even if Ymir couldn’t control herself, she had to learn to apologise afterwards.

More times than not she would apologise immediately, but this time she was being overly difficult.

When the sky began to darken, closing in on seven in the evening, Krista finally dropped the paintbrush and wiped sweat from her brow. She was grateful that she had changed into lighter clothes earlier, because now she was covered in droplets of paint.

She washed her hands underneath a nearby tap and then headed back into the barn to change into cleaner clothes. Mike had informed her ten minutes earlier that they would leave soon, so she needed to clean her appearance up.

The entire time she hadn’t spoken a word to Ymir, or even looked at her. The brunette had remained just as silent.

After cleaning up Krista fixed her hair in the car’s mirror. Her fringe wasn’t doing what she wanted it to, so she kept brushing it to the side and then groaning in irritation. With a sigh she gave up, and then she straightened when Mike waved at her from his car in front of the house. She glanced over at Ymir, sitting by their sleeping bags atop some hay. She was brooding, with an unhappy look on her face and her eyes focused on the ground.

“Are you coming?” It was the first time since that morning that Krista had spoken to her, and her voice sounded eerily cold.

Ymir ignored her, so Krista took that as a no and headed out to join Mike. She had her pepper spray in her hoody pocket just in case, but so far she trusted Mike not to try anything weird. He seemed surprised when Krista showed up without Ymir.

“Where is your friend?”

“She decided not to come. Is that alright?”

Mike seemed uncomfortable, but he nodded and climbed into the truck. He started it after Krista climbed in and then drove them towards the road. Krista spared a glance at the barn, wondering what Ymir was thinking. Her anger at the brunette was now climbing and she probably wouldn’t be able to contain that anger when she got back.

The ride into town took no more than ten minutes. They had been closer than Krista had thought. It was quiet as they drove, since Mike seemed content not to start conversation. Krista was glad. She wasn’t in a mood to talk anyway.

The town itself was smaller than Krista had imagined. Once they entered, there were buildings to each side of the road. They took a right turn and then continued to follow the road until they reached what seemed to be a collection of bars and restaurants. There were few people milling about and just as many cars parked in the area.

Mike parked his truck with a grunt and then hopped out of the vehicle, Krista by his side. Instead of going to a restaurant, like Krista had assumed, he headed for the bar.

It looked generic from the outside, with only one large dirty window that barely allowed one to see the inside. The doors were wooden and opened easily when Mike pushed them open. He paused with a foot inside and turned towards the blonde, suddenly remembering her presence.

“How old are you?”

“Oh, uh, I’m eighteen! I’m legal, don’t worry.”

Mike nodded and then continued on inside. It was noisy inside, with a single TV blaring atop a stand by the bar counter. Men in overalls sat by the bar, drinking and laughing amongst themselves. Tables were scattered around the bar, with people sitting in groups and all chatting as they shared drinks.

Could they get food here?

Mike took a seat by the bar and motioned for Krista to sit beside him. She did, and eyed him nervously.

“Um, Mr Zacharias, why are—”

“Mike,” he corrected. He shrugged his shoulders and lifted a hand to signal for the bartender. “They offer snacks here,” he supplied.

Krista deflated in her seat and suddenly missed Ymir a lot. She watched the bartended move over to them and nodded lightly in greeting when his eyes landed on her. He grinned, and Krista wasn’t comfortable at the sight.

“Well, well, Mikey. Going for the young ones now?” He threw a cloth over his shoulder and pressed his palms to the table, grinning broadly. His hair was black and spiky, most probably the product of a gelling accident. His skin was dark, and the tan reminded Krista of Ymir. She was really starting to miss her. Was coming here without her a good idea?

“Get the girl something to eat, Berik,” Mike said. He paid the earlier comment no mind. “And the usual for me.”

Berik rolled his eyes. “Sure thing, old man. Say,” he leaned in close to Krista and offered his hand. “What’s a cute thing like you doing with this old bastard?”

Krista took his hand in her own and refused to shy away from his leering gaze. “Our car broke down and Mike towed it to his farm for us.”

“’Our’? Who you with?”

Krista quickly wiped her hand on her pants and then shoved her hands into her hoody pockets. “My girlfriend,” she said confidently. She stared Berik straight in the eye.

Berik reeled back in surprise, eyebrows drawn together. He seemed confused and then troubled, and then he shrugged and all humour dropped from his eyes. He turned away from Krista to yell towards the kitchen. “Nac, make some goddamn food!”

From the kitchen someone yelled back, “We’re not a damn restaurant!”

Berik didn’t respond and hurried off to tend to another drunkard. He did not look at Krista again.

“Don’t mind him,” Mike said softly. He looked up and caught Berik’s eye. “He can be too forward sometimes.”

Krista nodded and leaned back in her seat. She felt uncomfortable, but strangely safe as long as she was with Mike. Berik soon slipped from her mind and she looked around at the bar.

There was a cloud of smoke in the air, much to Krista’s distaste, giving the place a foggy look. People that were seated at the tables glanced her way every so often, more than likely not used to visitors, or ones as pretty. Krista ignored the looks and sent them friendly smiles in greeting. Most seemed surprised and didn’t look again.

Eventually a wooden bowl dropped down in front of Krista, which startled her, and a man with slicked back brown hair leaned over to Mike.

“Here ya go,” he said to Krista. “Mike, how you been man?”

Mike lifted his beer in greeting and continued to drink.

The man rolled his eyes and leaned over to Krista. She was looking at him, trying to gauge if he was as odd as Berik. He seemed nice, and Krista hadn’t felt any odd vibes from him yet, even after he got a good look at her face.

“Hiya, I’m Nac Tius. Nice to see that we attract the pretty ones too.” The comment wasn’t meant flirtatiously. Nac smiled kindly and offered his hand. “Would you like something to drink as well?”

Krista decided that he was safe and nodded. “I’m Krista. It’s nice to meet you.” She shook his hand.

“Such a pretty name, too!” Nac laughed and then waved Berik over. “Get the girl something to drink, man.”

Berik looked bored and shrugged at the request. “What do you want?”

“Uh, a coke please,” Krista answered.

Berik scoffed and then melted away to fetch a can out of the fridge. He returned seconds later and dropped it down beside the bowl, venturing back to the other side of the bar afterwards.

“Geez, that man has less wit than my boot,” Nac commented, clucking his tongue and shaking his head.

“I think I made him uncomfortable,” Krista said. She glanced down at the bowl and felt relieved when she noticed that it was just the usual of fries and onion rings. She took a bite of each and deduced that they weren’t bad. Nac had probably made them. “These are good.”

“Seriously? I’m glad they’re at least edible. Say, how’d you make him uncomfortable?”

Krista swallowed and opened the can of coke. Nac finally seated himself beside her and lifted his hand. Berik immediately dropped a glass of beer in front of him.

“I, um,” Krista watched Berik leave. “I don’t really know why but he got weird when I told him that I’m here with my girlfriend.”

Nac whistled. “The man must be jealous.” He laughed and gave Krista a pat on the back. “Don’t mind him though,” he said. “He’s just weird.”

Krista smiled after swallowing again and nodded. She turned her gaze to her coke and wondered how long they would be there. Hopefully Mike wouldn’t get drunk. Even though his farm was relatively close, Krista didn’t want to risk it. If he drank too much maybe she would have to convince him to let her drive.

“Nac,” Mike spoke up suddenly. He sniffed at the air and then swallowed the last of his beer. It landed on the table with a thunk when he slammed it back down. “You got a minute?”

Nac glanced at Krista, brows raised, and then back to Mike. He nodded. “Sure man.”

Mike hopped off the stool and headed towards the kitchen. Apparently he wanted privacy, since Nac soon followed and then they disappeared. Krista’s stomach fluttered nervously for a minute.

Half of the food was eaten and Krista stared at the oily chips for a while. She sipped at her coke slowly, not really tasting the gassy sweetness on her tongue. She thought of Ymir, and as if the brunette had sensed it, her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was a text from Ymir.

“ _You okay?_ ” was all it read, but it was enough to raise Krista’s confidence. She smiled down at the screen and quickly typed out her response.

_“Fine.”_

She didn’t want Ymir to think that she wasn’t mad at her, but she couldn’t very well ignore her. Ymir would have probably run into town following her scent in a panic.

Krista slipped her phone back into her pocket and continued nibbling on an onion ring. She quietly listened to the voices around her, at the clink of glasses and the occasional belch. It was amusing, at least. When she glanced up she realized that Berik had disappeared, and spied him exiting the kitchen with an angry look on his face. He avoided Krista’s gaze as he returned to tending the bar. Krista, however, sent him a questioning gaze with an eyebrow lifted.

Moments later Mike and Nac left the kitchen too, laughing. They shared a look before grinning at Berik, who huffed and focused on wiping beer from the table.

“You done?” Mike asked once he approached the blonde.

Krista swallowed the last of her food, quickly downed the rest of her coke and then nodded. “Yeah! Are we going?”

Mike nodded. “Yeah. Bill’s already paid.” He turned to Nac and grinned. “See you,” he said.

Nac grinned back and nodded. He sent a friendly wink to Krista and smiled at their backs as they left.

Krista was glad to leave the dank air of the bar. It was relieving to be out in the fresh air, and Krista took a deep breath in appreciation.

Mike was just as quiet on the way back, and only spared a wish goodnight once they’d parked and climbed out of the car. Krista didn’t stay to watch him and hurried towards the barn. She was still mad at Ymir, but she missed her and at least wanted to see her face.

Unfortunately she would have to wait until morning to properly see her face. The barn was impossibly dark, but Krista noticed a small oil lamp where they’d set their bed up. Ymir was there, fast asleep in the glowing light. She was on her side, back facing Krista. Her shoulders rose steadily as she breathed.

Krista honestly couldn’t help herself and went over to her. She crouched down and then pressed her lips to Ymir’s cheek. She was slightly alarmed when she felt how hot her skin was, and noticed that Ymir was sweating. Her face didn’t look as peaceful as Krista had assumed, and her freckles looked more like tears.

Krista sighed and settled down on her end of the makeshift bed. She turned the lamp off, dousing the place in blackness. It took all her will not to curl up against Ymir, and Krista fell asleep feeling cold and upset.

XxX

Around three in the morning Krista was woken suddenly by a strange sound. At first she couldn’t pin-point what it was. It sounded familiar and foreign at the same time and it put a sense of dread in Krista’s gut.

She pushed herself up on her elbows and strained her eyes to see in the darkness. Unfortunately she could barely see anything, so she grabbed her phone and noticed the time. It was as if the black ‘3’ had whispered Ymir’s name, because suddenly Krista realized what the sound was and she shot to her feet.

“Ymir?”

“No.” It sounded like Ymir, but strange. Sobbing followed and Krista’s heart clenched painfully. Was Ymir crying? No, not crying. She was outright sobbing.

Krista quickly fumbled around to find the oil lamp and through some difficulty got it on. The bright light blinded her for a long second before her eyes adjusted, and then she finally caught sight of Ymir.

She looked… frightening.

“Y-Ymir?” Fear filled Krista’s heart and she couldn’t help but stumble backwards a step. She swallowed the thickness in her throat and felt sweat collect at her temple.

Ymir had her hands covering her face which was full of blood. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed uncontrollably. Behind her a large tail swept from side to side, in time with the agonizing sobs leaving her lips.

“Stay away,” Ymir cried out. She uncovered her face and glanced up at Krista. Her eyes were black and red, wet with tears. Clear trails ran down her cheeks, the tears having cleared some blood away.

“Ymir, what’s wrong?”

Ymir shook her head, teeth clenching. Just as suddenly she curled into herself again and started rocking back and forth, sobbing loudly.

Krista couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle standing there and watching the love of her life in so much pain. She decided to put her anger on hold for now, because Ymir obviously needed her more.

Krista put the lamp down on the floor and carefully approached Ymir. When she was close enough she reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. Ymir didn’t react, so Krista dropped to her knees and pulled Ymir in for a tight, crushing hug. Her shoulder was immediately drenched with tears then and Ymir seemed to cry even harder.

Krista had never seen her cry before—ever. This was uncharted territory, and the blonde wasn’t sure what was happening or what she was supposed to do.

“You need to leave,” Ymir said. Her large, clawed hands pressed to Krista’s shoulders and the blonde shivered. She swallowed and tightened her hold.

“I’m not leaving you.”

Suddenly Ymir shoved Krista off of her and lashed out violently, eyes wide and furious. Her sharp claws cut through the fabric of Krista’s hoody, but luckily hadn’t gone far enough to cut her skin. Krista wasn’t deterred, however, and furrowed her brows in anger.

“Ymir, get a hold of yourself!”

“LEAVE!” Ymir growled. She had her hand held by the other, trembling. Her angry expression suddenly fell again and she was crying. She stood and nearly collapsed against the wall. Krista was startled by how tall she was. “Krista, you…” Ymir pressed her palm to her forehead, eyes wide like she had just seen something traumatizing. “My dream… it… I saw something new…” She glanced at Krista and then covered her mouth, close to vomiting again. “I ate you,” she said, tears and sweat pouring down her face. “You screamed for me to stop and I… I grabbed you, crushed you in my hand and then chewed you up.”

Krista stood still, eyes wide. Tears collected by the corners of her eyes. Her heart thundered. She was struggling to process what she was hearing.

“I fucking ate you like you were a snack!” Ymir screamed. “You need to leave me right now. Ask Mike to drive you back to Malia and stay as far away from me as you can.”

“Ymir, no…” Krista stepped forward, hands outstretched. “It was just a dream.”

“I can still taste it!”

Krista clenched her teeth. Ymir was losing her shit for nothing. It was a dream. They had no way to know that it was actual foretelling. Ymir needed to calm down because she was changing too quickly, and if Mike heard Ymir’s screaming and rushed out…

“Ymir, calm down.” Krista approached further and tried to put a hand on Ymir’s arm but the brunette shrugged away from her touch.

“I don’t even understand why you care so much!”

“Stop talking.”

“You aren’t safe with me.”

“Ymir.”

“I can kill you so easily, I’m a monster.”

Krista was suddenly filled with intense anger. Her chest swelled with heat and fury and she rushed forward. She grabbed Ymir’s blood-soaked shirt and then pulled her down. With Ymir caught off guard, and with anger behind her actions, Krista cocked her fist back and then slammed it right into Ymir’s eye.

The brunette gasped and fell to the ground. She wasn’t prepared for a second punch that landed on her jaw, or the third that broke her nose.

Krista kicked Ymir over, panting harshly and tears pouring down her own face.

“Shut the fuck up Ymir! Did you see that? I kicked your ass and you didn’t kill me! I’m not a little glass toy for you to shove around. I am just as strong and I will _not_ break if you touch me!”

Ymir was too shocked for words. The blows had distracted her enough that her body stopped changing and she steadily returned to normal. The horns and tail receded, and after a few minutes all that remained were her hauntingly dark eyes.

“Stop acting like a damn idiot and stop pushing me away!” Krista yelled as hard as she could. She glared down threateningly at Ymir, and the brunette realized that if she had to comment, Krista would punch her again.

Blood trickled over her lips and down her chin. It stung, and her eye was beginning to swell. How the hell had Krista been able to put that much strength behind her attacks? Ymir was baffled. Thankfully she had her mind in a safe place again, and she propped herself up onto her elbows, flinching. She lifted a finger to touch the wound by her eye, and it came away with blood. She sat up, cradling her sore jaw.

“I’m sorry,” Ymir uttered softly.

Krista’s shoulders still heaved with her rapid breaths. She dropped down in front of Ymir and grabbed the front of her shirt, yanking her forward.

“For what?!”

Ymir flinched, expecting another punch. None came, and she sighed. “I’m sorry for everything; for how I treated you, for losing my shit. You don’t deserve it. I’m sorry.” She couldn’t help the fresh tears that began to pour. “I’m sorry Krista.”

Krista let her shirt go and pulled Ymir into a hug. The brunette sobbed freely against her shoulder, where she had earlier, but with a clearer mind.

The emotional pain far outweighed the physical in that moment, and Ymir ignored the burning of her marks. She clutched desperately to Krista’s shirt, feeling her warmth and hearing her heartbeat and smelling her unique scent.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

Krista pressed a kiss to Ymir’s swollen eye. “You aren’t healing,” she said.

Ymir simply shook her head, no longer sobbing but still crying softly. It would take some time for her to get over the shock of her dream. It had felt so real and the anguish that had filled Ymir’s being had taken her breath away.

No matter what, Ymir never wanted to be that monster. She didn’t want to take Krista’s life in such a gruesome way.

“I’m so sorry.”

XxX

Hours later the two were sleeping soundly together, wrapped up underneath a single sleeping bag. Ymir was in her stomach while she rested her head against Krista’s shoulder. The blonde had her arms wrapped around Ymir, while the brunette had one arm wound around Krista’s waist. They slept quietly, each breathing evenly.

Eventually the bright morning sun invaded their peace and woke Ymir. She was tired when her eyelids fluttered open, and when she felt the rise and fall of the surface underneath her ear, Ymir closed her eyes again and sighed.

Memories of that early morning washed over her, as well as guilt and shame. She had almost seriously hurt Krista and she had yelled at her. It truly was a miracle that Krista was still here, willing to be that pillar of strength that Ymir so desperately needed.

Ymir gently lifted herself and glanced up at Krista’s face. She had dried tear stains on her cheeks. When Ymir noticed she leaned down and softly kiss them away, and then she pressed her lips to Krista’s forehead, hand cupping her cheek, and squeezed her eyes shut.

_I need you,_ she thought.

She had to apologise properly. Ymir knew this. However, she couldn’t bring herself to wake Krista just yet, so she relaxed back down beside Krista and rested with her head propped up by her arm. She watched Krista’s face and reached out to gently take hold of her small hand.

Their sizes were still so different.

Looking at Krista’s pale hand, Ymir realized that Krista was right. She wouldn’t break. She wasn’t fragile, although she was small. Ymir had always held a fear that she would break Krista without a thought. Last night had proved otherwise. Krista had been the one to nearly break Ymir.

Remembering that made Ymir chuckle lightly and then wince and press a finger to her eye in surprise. It stung and felt grossly swollen. Did she actually have a black eye? Her nose and jaw hurt too, and Ymir realized that her wounds weren’t healing. But why?

Before she could panic Ymir felt a gentle touch on her cheek and glanced down to see Krista awake and watching her.

“Your face looks awful,” Krista said sheepishly. She wasn’t sorry, though, and she wouldn’t apologise.

Ymir laughed. “Like I was hit by a midget, right?”

Krista giggled and lightly tapped Ymir’s cheek. “You took it like a fighter.”

“I took it like a wimp. Damn, I never knew you could hit that hard.”

Krista suddenly grew serious, and she scooted closer to press herself to Ymir’s body. “Will you touch me more firmly now? Do you believe me that I won’t break if you touch me?”

Ymir dropped down onto her back and sighed up at the high ceiling of the barn. “I’ll try,” she said. “No doubt if I fail you’ll kick my ass again.”

Krista wrapped herself around Ymir and kissed her bruised jaw. “Maybe I’ll aim for lower areas. I messed your pretty face up.”

Ymir chuckled and then surprised Krista by dipping down for a purposeful kiss. “You may have kicked my ass,” Ymir said, “but you taught me a lesson. I’m just sad that I had to make you go that far.”

Krista traced heart patterns against Ymir’s clothed chest. “I’m not. It felt good to be more powerful than you for once.”

“With no compassion for my injuries?”

“Oh boo, you big baby.”

Ymir stuck her tongue out and shook as she laughed. “I genuinely meant what I said earlier. I’m sorry for the way I treated you.”

Krista smiled. “I know. I’ve forgiven you and now we both need to work towards forgetting what happened and moving on.”

Ymir swallowed. “I’ll never forget that dream, though.”

“Then I’ll just have to make sure that it never really happens.”

“Krista, you can’t be—”

“Shh,” Krista interrupted with a finger on her lips. “Let’s not argue again. I think Mike will come out to give us a new chore, so why don’t we clean up and wait for him?”

Ymir grumbled lightly and sighed, but obeyed and helped Krista onto her feet. She watched the blonde as they changed and cleaned themselves, and for the first time she felt that they were equal. She no longer looked at Krista like a little helpless damsel in distress.

She definitely wasn’t, and Ymir had to learn how to show her more respect.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for chapter III: Through the Trees by Low Shoulder, The Animal by Disturbed and Monster by Skillet.
> 
> WARNING: Death/gore.

**III**

* * *

 

“How’s your eye?”

Ymir glanced up and winced, reminded of the dull ache at her eye that still hadn’t healed. It was Mike asking, and he approached her with a bottle of Sprite in hand.

“Better,” Ymir replied curtly. She took the drink with a ‘thanks’ and opened the cap to down a large mouthful. It was hot as hell and she was insanely thirsty.

Mike chuckled. “Little one sure packs a punch.”

Ymir nodded in agreement. She looked down at the bale of hay she had been carrying and removed her one glove to wipe the sweat from her lashes.

“Mechanic should be in town in three days. I have more than enough chores to keep you busy in that time,” Mike said. He slipped his hands into his pockets and awkwardly kicked at the ground.

“Listen, is there something you want?” Ymir asked. She slipped her glove back on and put the bottle into the oversized pocket of the pants Mike had lent to her. She wanted to get back to work and finish clearing up all the leftover hay, so that she could relax with Krista until dinner.

“Actually,” Mike sighed and then sniffed lightly. “Those markings on you… they…”

“They bother you,” Ymir pointed out.

Mike lifted his head and regarded her seriously. He opened his mouth to protest but paused at the sound of tires crunching over gravel. Both he and Ymir turned towards the driveway to see a dark blue Cherokee Jeep park next to Mike’s old beat-up truck. A brown-haired man stepped out and then waved when he spotted Ymir and Mike. He jogged over with a friendly smile on his face.

Ymir narrowed her eyes at the supposed kindness and eyed his clean appearance. The man looked smart and confident, like he’d just climbed out of a perfume advertisement.

“Mike!” the man chuckled upon approaching and accepted Mike’s outstretched hand for an enthusiastic handshake. “Ah, and you must be the girlfriend.”

Ymir’s eyebrow lifted but she made no comment.

The man suddenly laughed when he saw Mike startle. “I don’t mean Mike’s!” he exclaimed in amusement. “Krista told me about you.” He held his hand out to her too and his eyes widened slightly when he felt Ymir’s firm grip.

“I’m sure she did,” Ymir said tightly. She had a bad feeling about this.

“Nac?” Krista suddenly appeared, splattered with paint. Her long blonde hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, exposing her long, pale neck. “How have you been?”

Nac’s face brightened and he shrugged lightly. “I’ve been great. I see Mike has you two working like dogs.”

Krista giggled and shook her head. “Not really. I’ve been painting his house for three days now.”

“Oh?” Nac chuckled and clapped a hand over Mike’s shoulder. “Anyway, it was nice to meet you,” he said to Ymir, “and to see you again Krista. I have some business with this old coot, so excuse us.” Nac didn’t wait for Mike to respond and pulled him towards the house. Mike silently went along with him.

“I met Nac the other night at the bar I told you about,” Krista explained. Like Ymir she was watching their backs until they disappeared into the house.

“I don’t like him,” Ymir said flatly. She narrowed her eyes in their direction.

Krista intently watched her face. “I think he’s nice.” She patted her pants down and sighed. “I need a shower. Maybe I’ll take one when Nac leaves. Would you like a shower too?”

Ymir swooped down to grab the hay with one hand and then lifted it onto her shoulder. “Okay,” she said. She walked over to the small shed Mike had asked her to move the hay to and dropped the last one down on the pile she had created. When she turned back to the blonde, finding that she had been followed, she looked away quickly and cleared her throat.

Krista smiled and pulled Ymir down to peck her cheek. “It’s okay, it’s just a shower.” She took Ymir’s gloved hand in her own and pulled her towards the barn they were staying in.

Ymir couldn’t help but blush. Mike had a limited amount of hot water, and since electricity wasn’t exactly cheap he would only allow them to shower if they did it together. Due to this reason Ymir had avoided showering in the man’s house while Krista hadn’t. Her body odour was starting to become overpowering, though. Because she often broke out into heavy fevers her skin perspired more than usual. Changing her shirt on a regular basis wasn’t helping much either, and she could tell that the smell was starting to bug Krista, because as of last night she argued against their usual cuddle position.

Ymir really needed to shower. Could she ask Krista to skip though? The blonde was full of paint and sweat. She definitely needed a wash too. Ymir couldn’t ask her not to shower.

“By the way, where did you go this morning?” Krista asked as they entered the barn.

Ymir furrowed her brows and stripped her hands of the gloves.

“What do you mean?”

Krista paused and sent Ymir a confused look. “You woke up around two this morning and walked out of the barn. I asked you where you were going but you just told me to go back to sleep.”

Ymir shook her head. “I… I don’t remember doing that.”

Krista put a finger to her chin. “Have you walked during your sleep before?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Huh, strange.”

Ymir heard the door to Mike’s house open and turned to watch him and Nac step down the porch steps. Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, strange.”

“Oh, let’s take that shower now. I feel all icky.”

Krista grabbed her toiletries and clean clothes and then waited by the barn doors for Ymir to join her. When the brunette did she walked happily towards Mike.

“There isn’t enough time,” Nac said hurriedly and paused when he noticed the girls approaching.

“Hey, can we take a quick shower?”

Mike ran a hand over his short beard and nodded. “Sure. Just be quick about it.”

Ymir watched them as they headed into the house. She didn’t like the exhausted look on Mike’s face. What were they even talking about? When Ymir and Krista stepped through the hallway of the small house Nac and Mike returned to their conversation, and Ymir strained her ears to hear them. In that moment she was glad for her sensitive hearing.

“When will it be ready?” Nac asked.

“Soon. Just get out of here and I’ll call you over when it’s time.”

Nac sighed. “I meant it. There is no time left. The Black Moon will be here in two days. If we miss it…”

“It’ll be ready,” Mike assured.

Ymir had to tune out then because they reached the bathroom. She kept glancing in the direction of them, though, expression baffled.

Black Moon? What were they talking about? Ymir supposed she was right when she had read up on Dena, and that more often than not weird demon shit happened here. Were the people here all cultists? Satanists?

Ymir rolled her eyes at the thought. If they were, then they were fucking idiots.

“Ymir?” Krista placed her hand on Ymir’s cheek and turned her face to meet her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Ymir shook her head. “Nothing.” She smiled reassuringly when Krista still looked troubled.

“Okay,” Krista said, removing her hand. “I’ll trust you.” She let Ymir off for now and gripped the bottom of her shirt to pull it over her head. While her vision disappeared behind her t-shirt Ymir quickly spun around so that she couldn’t see. Her heart was pounding.

Did she really have to do this?

Ymir pressed her palm to the wall and tried to breathe evenly, but her anxiety was taking over again. She didn’t want Krista to see her body. No doubt it looked sickening with all of those marks. Krista would definitely think differently of her if she saw the extent of the branches on her skin.

“Ymir?” Krista placed a hand on Ymir’s forearm. She noticed the brunette breathing too heavily. “Is this too much for you?”

Ymir only nodded her head lightly. She kept her eyes shut, afraid of seeing Krista’s body. She didn’t deserve to see her body, and probably never would.

“Okay,” Krista said softly. She hugged Ymir’s waist and pressed a cheek to her shoulder. “Would you like me to rather shower tomorrow? You need one more than me. I can wait.”

Ymir shook her head. She didn’t want to take something away from Krista, but a large part of her wanted to nod. “I just…” She sucked in a breath. “Not ready. I’m not ready to let you see.”

Krista nodded and Ymir could feel it. “I understand. I’ll shower tomorrow, or maybe beg Mike to let me quickly shower later. I can even wipe myself down with a cloth if I have to. You shower and get clean. I’ll wait for you in the barn.” Krista quickly pulled her shirt back on and then gathered the stuff she had brought with her.

“Krista…”

The blonde merely smiled and then left the room. The door clicked shut behind her, and Ymir stared at it for a long time. An unexplainable relief washed over Ymir, along with appreciation and warmth. Her chest swelled with feelings of gratitude and she hurried to undress and shower. With every second that she stood naked underneath the lukewarm water she felt more vulnerable than she should have. Fear of someone walking in overcame her, and she fumbled to quickly wash the grime from her skin, rinse the soap out of her hair and then stumble out of the shower. She barely dried her body before she pulled her clean clothes on.

With the collar of her hoody pulled up to cover her neck, Ymir snuck through the house towards the front door. Nac had left, since his car was gone and Ymir didn’t see Mike anywhere. She wanted to ask him about the Black Moon, but decided against it. If they were up to something then letting them know that she knew wasn’t a very bright idea.

Krista was in the car when Ymir padded into the barn. She had the radio on and was listening to a song that Ymir didn’t recognize. The volume wasn’t loud, at least, so she heard Ymir’s approaching footsteps and stopped singing to greet her with a bright smile.

“You look ten shades lighter!” Krista joked.

Ymir rolled her eyes and self-consciously ran a hand through her hair. “Very funny,” she drawled. “What song is that?”

“Through the Trees.”

“By Low Shoulder?”

Krista nodded. “So you remember?”

Ymir picked Krista up and dropped into the seat the blonde had occupied. She allowed Krista to curl up on her lap. “Yeah, now that you mention its name. It was in that movie we snuck in to see when we were sixteen. Megan Fox is hot.”

Krista rolled her eyes. “Okay, yes, she is.”

Ymir grinned and pressed a kiss to Krista’s forehead. “I think you are beautiful though.”

Krista blushed brightly at the compliment. “And I find you hotter than Megan Fox.”

Ymir grinned, unable to hide her delight. Suddenly her grin faded, and she looked into Krista’s eyes with all seriousness. “Krista, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s about Mike.”

Krista’s brows furrowed. “Okay?”

“I heard him talking to that Nac guy. They mentioned something about a Black Moon and not having enough time. Mike was reassuring him that he’d have something ready in two days.” She bit into her lip.

“Hmm,” Krista pulled her phone out and opened her mobile browser. With the power of the internet she was sure to find a quick explanation of what Ymir was talking about. “I wonder what it is?” she thought out loud.

“Probably some occult shit,” Ymir suggested. “I wish we could leave soon. Dena is a piece of shit.”

“Ymir, we still haven’t really tried to find out more about your situation.”

“I don’t think we can find it here,” Ymir said. “I want us to leave for Kenda as soon as we can.”

“Well, we have three days left until the mechanic can stop by. Think it’ll be safe until then?”

Ymir shrugged. “I don’t really know. Get anything yet?”

Krista chewed on her bottom lip as she waited for the webpage to load on her screen. “Not yet. The reception here is terrible. I don’t think anyone here really has computers.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.”

“Oh!” Krista pulled the phone closer so that Ymir could see, and turned it onto its side so that the screen would flip, subsequently becoming larger.

“Black Moon Rising?” Ymir asked sceptically.

“Well, I’m on the Wikipedia and there are tons of different things called Black Moon. This seems to be a new video game. There’s also a movie and is that a cake recipe?”

Ymir rolled her eyes and touched the screen to go back to the search engine. “Maybe we need more specific keywords.” She typed in ‘black moon occult’ and hit search, and then they waited for the results. The very first result was what Ymir was looking for. She clicked on it and waited as the page loaded. When it had, Ymir carefully read through it.

It was an occult webpage providing spells and rituals and the like. Whether it was a legitimate page or done by someone drawn in by the supposed ‘coolness’, Ymir wasn’t sure. Though she was unsettled by what she was reading.

“With the blood of the demon underneath the full Black Moon, call upon the underworld and have your wishes granted,” Krista read. “In order to perform the ritual you will need a demon with marked skin. When the moon is at its apex, cut the demons heart out and offer it to the sky while reciting the ancient words. If your heart is true, you shall call upon Lucifer’s powers and open the gate to the dead.”

Ymir scoffed and looked away from the screen. “A bunch of bullshit.”

“They could have just been talking about the cake,” Krista suggested. She exited the page and dropped her phone onto her lap. “I mean, it can’t be. Mike is a really nice guy. How is he supposed to know what you really are?”

Ymir shrugged her shoulders. “You could be right, I guess.”

Krista didn’t like the troubled look on Ymir’s face, so she quickly leaned upwards to kiss her firmly on the cheek. “Stop worrying. Everything will be fine.”

Ymir knew that Krista didn’t believe it either, but she was right to some degree. If this was all just in her head then freaking out over it wouldn’t do any good.

“I’d like to see if there are any bookstores or a library here,” Ymir said. “I want to ask around town about the things people see. Maybe someone knows more about Black Moon or something.”

“Then we’ll do that tomorrow, if you want.”

Mike appeared then and waved them over to his car. Ymir put the radio and car off and then she set Krista down on her feet. They held hands as they headed over to Mike’s car.

The ride into town was much like it had been on the first day for Krista, however, this was Ymir’s first time leaving Mike’s farm. They hadn’t gone out after the first day, since Mike had simply ordered pizza. Krista felt a lot more confident now that she had Ymir by her side, though the brunette seemed irritated. She always seemed to be irritated, it seemed. Krista had to understand, though. More than likely Ymir was still beating herself up because of that awful dream she had had. How would Krista react to dreaming of killing Ymir? Just the thought made her heart ache. Krista couldn’t completely empathize, but she was at least there for when Ymir needed hugs and kisses. At least Ymir had stopped treating her like fragile property. Krista could see the change in Ymir’s behaviour, and she was more comfortable with physical contact now.

When they reached the collection of buildings Mike had stopped by before, Krista knew that they were going to the bar again.

“You two can eat out by Ted if you want,” Mike spoke up after shutting the engine off. He didn’t get out of the truck just yet.

“Ted?” Krista asked. Mike pointed at the restaurant in front of them, the one beside the bar. “Okay, you sure?”

Mike nodded. “Get something proper to eat. Come by when you’re done.” He got out then and headed into the bar.

Ymir sighed. “This place is a dump.”

“It’s a small town, Ymir,” Krista said in defence of Dena, though she knew that she had to agree. Mike had told her that this was the only bar and restaurant in the entire town. How was that even possible?

“A small dump then,” Ymir said. She reluctantly climbed out of the car and made sure to grab Krista’s hand when the blonde joined her side. Holding her hand calmed some of Ymir’s nerves and it helped her relax. She didn’t like this place and wished that they had just ordered pizza again.

“I hope their food is okay,” Krista commented. Ymir just sighed beside her and the couple entered the restaurant.

The place was surprisingly busy, mostly with families and local workers. A waiter shuffled over to them and lazily nodded his head in greeting, barely even looking at them.

“How many?” he asked.

“Table for two,” Ymir answered.

The man finally looked up and seemed to freeze at the sight of Ymir. He swallowed lightly and then guided them to a table in the back.

“Here,” he handed the menu over to them and then scurried off without taking their order for drinks. Ymir spied him whispering furiously to a woman by the kitchen, and when she looked over at their table Ymir sighed. Similarly, other people were glancing their way and whispering. It was mostly directed at Ymir, though, and there was no question as to why.

“Don’t worry about them,” Krista said. She covered Ymir’s hand with her own atop the table and gave it a firm squeeze. “You are totally still hot. Okay? Just ignore them.”

Ymir rubbed her neck and shrugged. “I can’t very well murder them all, so I don’t really have a choice.” She grimaced at her own morbid joke despite having made it and quickly picked the menu up to inspect what meals they offered.

“They don’t have a lot of choices,” Krista observed. She still had one hand over Ymir’s, and used the other to hold the menu. “I think I’ll just have a chicken burger with chips. And you?”

Ymir dropped the menu with a lazy sigh and shrugged. “I’ll have whatever.”

Krista sighed in exasperation and caught the occupants of the table beside them staring their way. It unnerved her greatly but she lightly cleared her throat and decided to choose something for Ymir. She knew the brunette would be very hungry by the time Krista’s food arrived, and she would be too stubborn to admit that she wanted to order something after acting that she didn’t care.

Eventually the waiter returned. “Sorry for running off. What would you like to get?” He smiled and looked over at Ymir, but felt uncomfortable by her hard gaze and looked back to Krista.

“I’ll have a chicken burger and chips with a regular coke, and Ymir will have two large beef burgers, extra chips and a large coke.”

The waiter lifted his eyebrow and then scribbled the order on his pad of paper. “Coming right up,” he quipped and quickly carted their menus away.

“He’s probably telling that bitch how much food we ordered and what colour my shit might be,” Ymir said angrily. She pulled her hand out from under Krista’s and folded her arms across her chest.

Krista couldn’t help but giggle. “This place isn’t used to people like you.”

“’Like me’?”

“You know, tall, dark and handsome.”

Ymir snorted but grinned lightly. She stretched her legs out underneath the table and pressed them against Krista’s. Ymir winked when Krista glanced at her in surprise, blushing.

“Um, hi.”

Ymir and Krista both glanced up in surprise and noticed a man and a woman had left their table to approach them. Before Ymir could jump to any conclusions she felt Krista’s legs wrap around hers, as if keeping her rooted to her seat, so she said nothing and merely stared.

“Hi! Can we help you?” Krista smiled brightly up at them, reassured by the nervous smiles they gave each other.

“I’m Hannah Diamant,” the woman said. She had a small splattering of freckles and light brown hair pulled into a low ponytail. Her eyes, though a regular brown, shone with friendliness.

“I’m Mylius Zeramuski,” the man at Hannah’s side introduced himself. He smiled sheepishly and rubbed a hand through his short ashen hair. “Sorry to bug you.”

“We noticed everyone else staring, so we decided to introduce ourselves.” Hannah finally held her hand out and smiled when Krista shook it. Mylius offered his hand, and Ymir refused to shake both of their hands. She merely stared at them until they got the message and dropped their arms.

“We appreciate your kindness. I’m Krista and this is Ymir.”

“That’s a cool name!” Hannah exclaimed, referring to ‘Ymir’. She started to sweat nervously, probably sensing the glares and staring from the other people scattered around the restaurant. “Did you both move here?”

“Oh, no our car broke down and Mike let us stay by his farm.”

“Oh! I see. And how are you finding our quint little town?”

“Fine,” Ymir answered this time. She wouldn’t stop glaring and wishing the two would piss off.

“S-so how long are you staying for?” Hannah asked nervously. She and Mylius were both intimidated by Ymir, but they persisted in extending a kind hand to new visitors. It wouldn’t do good to have strangers leave the place thinking bad of its dwellers.

“Until a mechanic can fix our car. Apparently he’s out of town but Mike assured us that he’ll be back before the end of the week.”

Hannah glanced at Mylius then, confused. Her brows pulled together, but she nodded slowly and then pressed her palms together. She noticed the waiter approaching and decided that they had conversed enough.

“Alright! Sorry to have bothered. It was nice to meet you. Enjoy your food.”

“Let us know if there’s anything we can help with,” Mylius said.

“Actually, before you go,” Ymir straightened in her seat. Both Hannah and Mylius paused. “Have you ever heard of the Black Moon?”

Hannah gasped lightly and covered her mouth with a hand. Mylius put a hand on her shoulder and turned to Ymir with hard eyes. “We don’t, sorry,” he said, and then he forcefully pulled Hannah away with him. She had almost been about to say something.

Ymir clicked her tongue and then glared at the waiter as he scurried off after placing their food down. “This place gives me the creeps.”

XxX

The bar was as dank and humid as Krista remembered, though on this night it was a lot busier. There was barely any space to walk and Krista kept a nervous hand tightly gripped on Ymir’s shirt. She didn’t want to be lost in the mass of sweaty male bodies, and Ymir certainly didn’t want to lose her midget and have to shove people out of the way to find her.

Mike was at the bar where he’d sat before, sipping on a bottle of beer. It looked to be his third, so he hadn’t drunk that much at least.

The two battled their way towards the bar and Ymir had to reach out to tap Mike’s shoulder because Krista couldn’t reach.

Mike glanced over his shoulder and nodded at them. “Hey,” he said.

“Yeah hi. Can we leave?” Ymir said.

Krista smiled and pressed into Ymir’s side. She wouldn’t have been able to say that so seriously, or say it at all. She was too kind sometimes.

Mike sniffed at his beer and then sighed. He lifted his hand to signal for the bartender and quickly downed the last of his drink. “Sure, just let me pay.”

Berik jogged over and grabbed the bottle when Mike finished. He didn’t notice Krista and Ymir until he accepted the notes from Mike and gave him his change. He paused when he did, and then he frowned and narrowed his eyes. Berik said nothing, but he caught the glare Ymir was giving him and glared back in response.

Krista felt nervous at their staring and felt relieved when Mike waved him away and hopped off of his stool. He tapped Ymir’s shoulder as he passed her and the brunette reluctantly left the burning glare to follow Mike out the door. She pushed Krista in front of her and kept her hands on the blonde’s shoulders.

The moment they left the bar Ymir felt eyes on her, but Krista was too relieved about the fresh air to notice. Ymir turned around as they climbed in the car.

She caught Berik staring from the dirty window, and his gaze left a sour taste in Ymir’s mouth.

XxX

_Ymir allowed her fringe to cover her face, to hide it, as she sat alone at the school cafeteria. She had a tray of food in front of her but felt no desire to eat. She could feel the gazes trained on her and hear the whispers. She fucking hated them all so much._

_Ymir glanced up and met the glance of a blonde girl staring at her. “What the fuck are you staring at?” Ymir bellowed, standing up. She threw her tray off of the table, fists clenched and shaking._

_“Nothing!” the girl squeaked and quickly looked away. Her group of friends rubbed her back in comfort and sent glares over to Ymir. She was a new student and already she was causing so much trouble._

_“Fucking pussies!” Ymir yelled at them, face red with anger. She could feel her heart trembling in excitement and quickly left the room. She made her way over to the far side of the school where she had decided to sit when she became too angry. Ymir hated that she couldn’t control her temper, and already she was feeling the desire to go back there and punch that blonde in the fucking face._

_The brunette reached her enclosed spot and threw a hard punch at the tree she usually sat underneath. Her first broke through the entire thick tree and spurted out of the other side, the skin on her knuckles broken and blood seeping down her fingers. She cursed loudly and pressed her other hand to the tree to pull her arm out, but struggled due to how deeply embedded it was. Eventually her arm popped out and Ymir yelled as she fell over backwards and landed painfully on her back. Air rushed from her lungs, as well as a muffled curse._

_To Ymir’s surprise, when she opened her eyes she caught two beautiful blue eyes staring down at her with concern._

_“Are you okay?”_

_It was a blonde, but not the blonde from earlier. Ymir was dumbfounded for a very long second. She blushed lightly at being able to see underneath the girl’s skirt, but did not comment on it and stared straight ahead at the girl’s face._

_For the first time in her entire life, Ymir’s anger began to fade away. The wounds on her hand quickly healed in a torrent of steam, and the red flush on Ymir’s freckles intensified._

_“I’m Krista!” the girl said after a long silence. “I heard that your name is Ymir and I’d like to be your friend.”_

_For the first time in her life, Ymir laughed until tears poured from her eyes._

Ymir’s eyes fluttered open. A small, surprised smile spread out on her face. It was an unfamiliar sight, but welcomed nonetheless. The brunette felt a solid weight on her arm and tipped her head to the left to see Krista using her arm as a pillow. Even though there was a lot of extra space, they always ended up at the very edge of the sleeping bags, with Krista sleeping on some part of Ymir.

Right now her arm had absolutely no feeling in it, so Ymir pulled it free and winced as it flopped lifelessly onto her chest. She took deep breaths and tried to ignore the awful pins-and-needles that shot through her limb as it regained blood, but the sensation was powerful. Luckily it was over in a minute and Ymir released a large breath in relief.

“Ymir?”

Said person turned her head once more and her eyes softened in amusement. “Jesus,” Ymir said. “You look like hell in the morning.”

Krista’s eyebrows scrunched together and she pushed herself up onto her elbows. Her eyes, half open, twitched as she tried to focus her vision on Ymir. She wiped the drool from her chin before running a hand through her messy, knotted golden hair. With a large, unhappy groan, Krista simply fell forward onto Ymir and started snoring loudly.

Ymir resisted the intense urge to laugh. The sight was as horrid as it was amusing, but a special place in Ymir’s heart sealed the memory away so that it would remain with her forever.

“Krista, get up.” Ymir shook her slim shoulder, rolling her eyes when Krista growled.

“Five more minutes mom.”

“I’m not your mom, ew.”

“Ymir just,” Krista’s arm flew upwards suddenly and it took a second for her to locate Ymir’s face. When she found it, it took more seconds to feel out where her mouth was. Mouth successfully identified, Krista pressed a curled finger to it and made a strangled noise. “Just shh that hot mouth for a sec, ‘kay?” Her words came out muffled because she had her face pressed against Ymir’s shoulder, but the brunette heard her clearly.

No one would ever believe that Krista was so unattractive in the morning. Ymir wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Get up, ass.” She tipped Krista over and then straddled her waist. The blonde didn’t react, eyes still closed. When Ymir’s long fingers attacked her sides Krista was forced to snap her eyes open and jerk her body as she laughed.

“Ymir!” Krista laughed, snorting halfway through, and tried desperately to throw Ymir off of her or stop her hands, but neither attempt worked. She was too small and too half-asleep, so she eventually gave up and just giggled as the brunette tickled her sides.

“Awake yet?”

Blue eyes cracked open, and Ymir’s heart skipped a beat.

“I’m awake,” Krista said hurriedly in case Ymir started to tickle her again. She yawned loudly, forgetting to cover her mouth with her hand, and Ymir cringed.

“Jesus, brush your teeth Miss Morning Breath.”

Krista narrowed her eyes in a glare and poked Ymir’s stomach. “Is Miss Freckles going to get off of me or will things get frisky?”

Ymir rolled her eyes and stood. She held her hand out and pulled the much shorter girl to her feet.

“Thank you,” Krista said. She went over to the sink inside of the barn and made quick work of brushing her hair and teeth. Ymir did the same afterwards, but she kept her eyes on Krista as the blonde readied herself for the day.

When Krista pulled her pyjama shirt off, Ymir couldn’t help but appreciate the slender curve of her back or the paleness of her skin. Ymir quickly looked away as Krista bent to the side to retrieve a fresh shirt.

“Okay!” Krista tied her hair up and grabbed her phone to check for any messages. She frowned at the plethora of missed calls, all from her parents. “What’s the agenda for today?”

Ymir ran her hands underneath the tap and then ran them through her hair to wet the locks and brush them into some order. She had her brush clenched between her teeth as she used her hands to flick her wet locks into her usual style.

“Uh,” Ymir turned and leaned against the sink. She didn’t realize that droplets of water fell from her fingers and dropped on her neck. She wore a grey tank top, so Krista watched the liquid as it slid along the brunette’s tanned, freckled skin. Krista bit her lip, fully taking in Ymir’s tall, lean and muscular form. Damn. How had she been lucky enough to meet someone so breathtakingly attractive? If it wasn’t for the attitude then Ymir would have been a heartbreaker.

Ymir noticed Krista’s burning stare and faltered slightly in her thoughts. A light blush coloured her cheeks and ears and she glanced down at the floor in nervousness. Krista sighed.

“Um, I’m going to town before we finish painting the old guy’s house. I’d like to be clean when I sniff around. So…”

“Okay, cool!” Krista shook her head to rid it of unneeded thoughts and then skipped over to Ymir. Before saying anything else she stepped on the tips of her toes to kiss Ymir’s freckled nose, ran a hand through her short hair and then lightly poked her stomach. “I’ll come with you. Let’s have breakfast at that place we went to last night.”

Ymir snorted. “No thanks.”

Krista dropped down to her usual height and pouted. “Meany.”

Ymir, blinking rapidly, suddenly leaned downwards and pressed a kiss to Krista’s pink lips. She tasted strawberry lipice and cleared her throat when she pulled away. Krista looked absolutely euphoric.

“We, um…” She scuffed her foot and blushed intensely as she glanced off to the side. “We haven’t kissed for a whole, so… I just… You know…”

Krista smiled in delight and reached out to take Ymir’s hand in her own. “We don’t always have to kiss, so it’s okay if we don’t for a while.”

Ymir nodded and then shrugged. “Sometimes I can’t help it.” She allowed Krista to play with her long fingers and then enclosed them around Krista’s and suddenly pulled her forward. Krista gasped softly and felt her cheek land against Ymir’s chest. The melody there was Ymir’s pounding heartbeat.

Long arms encircled Krista and she closed her eyes in content. This was her home—where she belonged. No one made her feel this important, and being without Ymir would render her meaningless. Krista nuzzled against Ymir’s thin shirt, inhaling the strong scent of her skin and sweat, mingled in with something sweet that she could never seem to pinpoint but was always lingering on Ymir.

“I love you,” Krista uttered very softly, both fists curled against Ymir’s stomach. She enjoyed the sudden fluttering against her cheek.

Ymir pressed a kiss to her forehead and then she pulled out of the hug with a reluctant sigh. “Good morning,” she spoke over Krista’s head.

The blonde turned and saw Mike standing awkwardly by the barn doors.

“Morning,” he greeted. “There’s isn’t much for you to do. I have some dishes collecting in the sink that need washing and a few rubbish bags that should be taken to the edge of my plot so that the garbage collectors can fetch it.” He placed a hand on his hip and sighed. “House is almost done, so you should be able to finish that today.”

“We’re going out to town before we start working,” Ymir informed him. She wasn’t asking.

Mike looked down at Krista at Ymir’s side. “I’m leaving, actually.”

Krista took a step forward. She swallowed when she felt Ymir’s hand press protectively to her lower back. “How come, if I may ask?”

 “It’s, uh,” Mike’s face fell and he nervously rubbed at his chin. “Personal business, really. I’m driving to the Dena cemetery, about an hour from here. I should be back by tonight.”

Krista’s eyes lowered in sympathy. “Oh, well I hope you have a safe trip.”

Mike smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Nac is taking me, so feel free to use my truck. Just don’t total it.”

Krista glanced over at Ymir, eyes a little sad. “We’ll take good care of it, I promise.”

Mike seemed satisfied so he nodded once and walked down the long driveway to the street. Nac was already waiting for him.

“I never noticed it before, but Mike seems like a really sad guy,” Krista observed. She was once more in Ymir’s embrace, warmed and comforted by her warm arms.

“He lost someone,” Ymir stated. “I can see it in his eyes.”

Krista sighed softly. Would she be as strong as him if she lost Ymir? She couldn’t imagine living alone, all by herself and with no one to interact with. Suddenly Krista felt a huge amount of sympathy for the man, and slight shame at suspecting him with Ymir’s earlier paranoia. There was no way he was a bad guy. He seemed so lost.

“The truck is ours, so can we go?” Ymir gently rubbed Krista’s back until the blonde ceased to shiver.

Krista stepped away from Ymir’s warmth and smiled up at her face. “Okay, let’s do this.”

XxX

During the day the town centre was a lot quieter. Only a few people milled about, mostly the usual customers buying a snack or ingredients for the nights’ meal. Those that were out stared at Ymir as she walked alongside her short partner, and not to Ymir’s surprise. The blonde skipped happily by her side, but Ymir slouched, hands in her pockets, and had a scowl on her face.

“I’m tired of people staring,” Ymir complained.

“Well get used to it Ymir. Even without those marks, you draw attention.” Ymir took it the wrong way and snorted.  “I mean like, you get those seriously beautiful people that no matter what’s going on, the moment they step into the room all eyes gravitate towards them. You have this magnetism about you, Ymir. I was drawn to it instantly. It isn’t a bad thing though.”

“It’s because I have a demon living inside of me,” Ymir stated bitterly. She rethought her words and then spoke again. “I _am_ a demon.”

Krista lightly bumped Ymir’s side. “Yeah well we are what we are. I’m human, hopefully, and you just happened to born as an ancient demon.”

Ymir shook her head, still unable to fathom how Krista was able to accept what she was so easily. From the very beginning Krista had never called bullshit, had never batted an eye and had never run in fear. Even when Ymir saw fear cloud her eyes, Krista never left.

Ymir was partly ashamed and partly relieved.

“Alright, let’s see if anyone knows what we want to know,” Ymir said when they reached the local bookstore. It was entirely too small but was suitable for the population of the town.

A bell jingled when they stepped through the door and Ymir glanced up at it with a glare—she fucking hated bells.

Krista immediately looked around the room, taking in the walls that were lined with shelves covered in books, and smiled politely at the only person tending to the store. It was a blonde boy around their age, and though he seemed nervous by their appearance he offered a kind smile and stood from his seat to greet them.

“Good morning! I’m Thomas Wagner. Are you two new here?”

Ymir slouched further and slunk over to him. She smartly bent down slightly so as not to startled the timid guy. He was already sweating, though Krista’s presence eased his apparent anxiety.

“Sure,” Ymir responded. “I have something that I’m looking into for this book I’m writing,” Ymir lied flawlessly. She reached the counter and then dropped her arms onto it, folded. Krista stepped beside her and they were at eyelevel.

“Oh?” Thomas brightened. “If I know about it I’ll certainly help!”

“Great!” Ymir said, faking a smile. “See, I came here with my partner because of my book. Heard some weird stuff happens here. Did I hear right?”

Thomas nervously scratched his cheek. “The town folk are really superstitious, but they’re all just worried about ghosts and other fairy-tales. What’s your book about?” He seemed genuinely interested, and Ymir felt relieved to finally find _someone_ that didn’t set the hairs at the back of her neck on end.

“A girl that turns into a demon. She tries to find a spell to undo her curse, but it isn’t a curse and she can’t escape it.”

Thomas frowned, slightly disturbed by the idea. He immediately schooled his expression though, not wanting to be rude. “Sounds interesting! So what do you need my help for, really?”

“I heard some people muttering about a Black Moon. Apparently there will be one tomorrow night. It thought it sounded interesting for a new arc to my book. Know of it?”

Genuine thought crossed the blonde boy’s face, not shock and surprise like Ymir had expected. She grinned against her palm in relief.

“Well, my dad told me this weird story about a ritual to resurrect the dead,” he explained. “Actually, we have a book on it here. One of the locals wrote it and only made one copy. It isn’t published or anything, but my dad wouldn’t let me throw it away. I can’t understand a word in it though.” Thomas looked around the store quickly, trying to remember where he’d seen it before. “Let me just head to the back room and see if it’s in some of the old shelves.”

Ymir nodded and watched the blonde boy leave.

“Ymir, what we read on that occult webpage,” Krista tugged at Ymir’s shirt. “It said that to open the gate to the dead, you have to offer up the heart of a demon. That’s basically a resurrection ritual, right?”

Ymir shrugged. “Could be a cake recipe,” she drawled lazily. She dodged when Krista tried to pinch her side.

“Ymir, I’m being serious!”

Ymir rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Okay, I hear you. We’ll have to wait to see that book first.”

Thomas returned then, eyes shining with excitement. “I found it!” he exclaimed. “We have to be quick though. If my father finds out that I showed this to anyone I won’t get paid this month.” He gingerly placed the leather-bound book on the table and then fiddled with the lock in the front. It was practically melted into the leather, making Ymir straighten and frown down at it.

“How old is it?” she asked.

Thomas stuck his tongue out as he struggle to undo the latch. It was so old and rusty that it barely moved. “Uh, couple hundred years I think? It’s been handed down in my family for generations.” 

Ymir swallowed lightly. She tried to remain patient with Thomas but eventually lost her calm and knocked his hands away. She roughly grabbed the book and undid the clasp with one fluid motion.

“Whoa, how’d you do that?”

“Do you even lift?” Ymir asked him, eyeing him once before glancing back down at the book. The cover, though old and coated in dust and other old stuff, was thick and sturdy. The front lock, Ymir realized, was made entirely of metal. It was heavy and thunked against the table when she opened the book and let the front cover drop.

On the first page, in elongated, black ink, unrecognizable letters stretched over the page. Ymir’s throat tightened when she read it without trouble.

“Is that even a known language?” Krista enquired. She leaned in close, squinting. Thomas did the same and the two shared a shrug.

“I dunno. I have no idea what language this is.”

Ymir didn’t look at them. She studied the title and then nervously paged through the book. Her fingertips burnt lightly, but it was mostly just her imagination.

“All I understand in this book are the crazy drawings. The author drew them himself.”

Ymir paused somewhere in the middle, hand shaking so badly that she had to release the page from her fingertips or else the other two would have noticed. Two pages were overtaken by a large, detailed picture. It was an image Ymir was familiar with. It looked like her face.

She knew this, because she recognized the horns, the dark, haunted eyes. She could tell by the shading that the creature had darkened skin. It had a tail and wings and elongated fangs. It looked angry, and understandably, since it was chained down like an animal. Ymir’s gut churned painfully and she pressed the back of her hand to her mouth.

Beside the demon a woman held a pitch fork which she was driving into its stomach. Blood gushed out, covering the area beneath the demon and darkening the page with black ink. Ymir turned to the next page and regretted it. A morbid, more detailed image depicted the woman, hands bloody, holding a large heart in both hands. She held it above her head and behind her the demon slouched forward with a gaping hole in its chest.

This was no longer a joke. Ymir knew that they had to get out.

“Thomas, do you have the number of your town’s mechanic?”

Thomas seemed startled by Ymir’s panicked tone and became even more concerned when Krista placed a hand on Ymir’s shoulder, expression worried.

“U-um, which one?”

Ymir stopped breathing. “There’s more than one?”

Thomas seemed almost as panicked as Ymir now.

“Y-yeah! U-um, we have a lot of people that work out of town so we have a large garage at the northern end of Dena. We actually have a lot of talented mechanics.”

Krista gasped softly and shared a look with Ymir. She was still completely confused, though mostly concerned. She recognized the image and understood that Ymir was freaking out because of it. She also realized now that Mike had lied to them.

“Are any mechanics out of town right now?” Ymir asked.

“Actually, yeah! He isn’t one of the best, though. He actually cleans the cars more than fixes them.”

Ymir cursed softly. Mike had been waiting for someone. But why? What the hell was this town after?

“Thomas, could you send someone to us to fix our car?” Krista asked gently. She rubbed Ymir’s back to prevent Ymir’s anxiety. If Ymir became too upset her body would react violently, and Krista didn’t want to frighten Thomas. He might have just saved their lives.

“Oh, um my brother works there. I can come over right now with him if you want.”

“Do you know where Mike lives?”

Thomas nodded and used a tissue to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “Y-yeah. I’ve been there before. How urgent do you need a fix?”

Ymir threw the book shut and then straightened. “As soon as fucking possible,” she said evenly. She picked the book up and cradled it in her hands. “May I borrow this?” she asked. “For my novel.”

Thomas swallowed. “U-um, for how long?”

“Just until we leave,” Ymir answered. She made sure to shove as much sincerity into her expression as possible.

“Okay, as long as you swear to have it back no later than the end of the week!”

Ymir drew a cross over her heart. “Deal.”

XxX

Ymir and Krista had left for Mike’s farm immediately after, and almost ten minutes after returning Thomas and his brother, Joshua, arrived on the older brother’s bike. He had a utility belt around his waist and besides having slightly longer hair, looked like a mildly older version of Thomas. He was a lot more confident, though.

“Thomas!” Krista jogged towards the two, relief on her face. “You really meant that you’d be here quickly.”

Thomas couldn’t help but blush and clasped his hands together in embarrassment. “You said it’s important, so…”

Joshua chuckled and ruffled his brother’s hair. “So? Where’s the car?”

Krista pointed at the barn. “Um, we don’t have much money unfortunately, and we’re in a hurry to leave.”

Joshua glanced at his brother, wondering what he’d gotten into now. He hadn’t expected the younger boy to stumble into his workplace, wheezing and begging for him to drive out to Mike’s.

“Well,” Joshua put his helmet onto his bike and then straightened the belt around his hips. “How about a date to pay it off?”  He grinned lightly, blue eyes hopeful.

Krista resisted the urge to sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m not interested. Is there any other way I could compensate?”

The blonde girl honestly expected Joshua to ignore her rejection and beg for a date, or make up some reason for her having to do it. Instead all interest left his eye and he straightened professionally.

“No, I understand. That’s fine.” He tapped Thomas on the shoulder and then pointed at the barn. “You can pay of their debt by helping me fix the car and then doing my laundry for the next month.”

Thomas groaned but nodded and struggled out of his brother’s arms when he hugged him.

“Thank you,” Krista said. “The car is in the barn. Hopefully it isn’t too difficult to fix.”

Joshua smiled kindly and followed Krista to the barn. He nodded at Ymir when he noticed her and smiled when he saw her slink over to Krista and wrap an arm around her. He merely shrugged it off and then went to inspect the inside of the car.

“Let’s see what’s under here,” Joshua said as he opened the bonnet and lifted the bonnet-catch. He inspected the insides for a full ten minutes before he ordered his brother closer and gave him a command. Together they started tinkering about, testing things out and trying to figure out what the problem was. Thomas was eventually ordered to get in behind the wheel and start the car, and eventually Joshua made a noise that was akin to triumph and he ordered Thomas around a few more times.

Ymir didn’t watch them. She had left the barn and was sitting by the porch steps of Mike’s house. The image of the demon in that book wouldn’t leave her. That was definitely what she would look like when she lost all semblance of sanity. Would it ever get that bad though? Would she ever fully turn and lose who she was?

“I’m sure he’ll fix it,” Krista said. She sat down beside Ymir and leaned into her. “He seemed to really know what he was doing.”

Ymir shrugged. “I hope so,” she said. “I don’t care if I’m just going nuts—I want to leave this place.”

A part of Krista still struggled to look at Mike in a suspicious light, but the un-biased part pointed out how he had obviously lied from the beginning. His behaviour now seemed suspicious when Krista thought back on it, and when she remembered each encounter so far, she couldn’t deny how each person had unnerved her. There was something weird going on in this town, and she definitely did not want to be around with Ymir when whatever ‘Black Moon’ was, happened.

They spent a while sitting on the porch before remembering their promise to finish painting the house among other chores. Ymir hadn’t wanted to but Krista had insisted, so Ymir hurried to do the dishes inside and carry four trash bags down the driveway. By then Krista was almost done with the second coat of paint, so Ymir helped finish the last corner of the house, and then when the sun started to dip low in the sky, Ymir dropped the paintbrush and wiped a hand over her face.

“Fucking hell,” she muttered under her breath. Why did they have to finish these chores when they were leaving really soon? At least Ymir hoped that they were.

“Hey!” Joshua waved at them from the barn and jogged towards them. Krista just finished rinsing her hands underneath the tap and straightened when he approached. “It’s all fixed,” he said. “It took most of the time to find the problem, since I have this tendency to look for complicated issues. It was actually just a problem with your radiator. It overheated, somehow.”

Ymir looked down guiltily when Krista gave her a cocked eyebrow.

“Is it totally fine to ride?”

Joshua shook his head and beamed. “Sure is! I had Thomas clean your car while I worked when he had nothing to do. Consider your debt paid already.”

Krista leaped forward to give the kind stranger a hug and then she quickly retreated to press a hand to Ymir’s stomach. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

Joshua waved his hand. “No problem. If your car ever breaks down again don’t be afraid to call.” He handed a card over to them and then turned when he heard his name. “Anyway, it’s getting late and since my job here is done I’m going to head home with my brother. You two stay safe and don’t be afraid to drop by my work to say hello.” He left then, waving.

Ymir and Krista watched him leave, relief hanging heavily between them.

“Let’s pack and then head out before it gets too dark,” Krista said. She took Ymir’s hand and walked with the brunette back to the barn. It took no time for them to pack their things into the car. Krista made sure to neatly fold the sleeping bags, and then as they were about to leave she stopped Ymir and pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from the trunk.

“Seriously? Ymir asked.

Krista waved off her irritation. “Even if he’s creepy, Mike gave us a lot of kindness. He at least deserves a goodbye and thank you note.”

Ymir rolled her eyes and then stepped out of the barn to look up at the moon. She knew Krista would take a while to write an entire essay.

Unfortunately, she didn’t hear the stealthy footsteps behind her, and she was too late to notice the metal bat that connected with her skull and sent her into absolute darkness.

XxX

“Ymir? What’s wrong?” Krista hesitantly approached Ymir, hands outstretched in a friendly gesture. “Please calm down, your body is starting to change.”

The sickening sound of bones cracking filled the silence and Ymir’s heavy breathing almost overpowered the sound. Her heart had started again, but it was burning and Ymir’s mind was already lost. She panted through widening lips, sharp fangs visible whenever her mouth opened wide enough. Her skin started to darken as it stretched, and Ymir’s horns only grew larger, tearing at her skin and causing more blood to spill over her face.

“Ymir, please.” Krista, shaking and close to tears, stepped up to Ymir and put both hands on her face while she still could. “Come back to me, please.”

Ymir stared right through her. She didn’t see or hear anything other than her own body breaking apart and being put back together. The pain was so intense that it was all her mind could register.

“Mommy, what is that?” a little boy called out from the crowd. The onlookers had all grown deathly still, strangely transfixed by the impossible sight before them.

The sound of the boy seemed to shatter Ymir’s stillness, for her head snapped up and she looked in the direction the sound had come from. Her eyes were frightening and the little boy began to cry. Ymir panted, and then she lifted her fist and the child burst into ashes against his mother’s chest. The woman stared down at herself for a split second, confused and surprised, but then she started screaming and fell to her knees. The other people reacted after that, all screaming and turning to run.

Ymir withdrew her hand and stared down at it, emotion finally entering her face. She looked shocked and repulsed, and Krista almost thought that she would regain control of herself, but then it all went to hell.

“A monster!” a man in the retreating crowd screamed. “It’s a monster sent straight from hell!”

The words rang painfully in Ymir’s ears and she lifted her hands to cover them, head tilting back to release an anguished and angry roar. Her body grew much taller then, her muscles bulking, skin turning red. Krista had no choice but to leave, because she knew that it was dangerous there and if she didn’t leave Ymir would hurt her without realizing it.

Ymir stopped roaring and then rushed at the crowd, eyes reddened dark with hatred and anger. She grabbed the nearest person and then ripped their head right off of their shoulders. People screamed. Ymir was showered in blood. She didn’t even blink.

Even as she continued to grow, becoming so large that she could not get into the mall, she either tore people apart with her hands or used her abilities to turn them to ash or red mist.

Ymir eventually bounded into a street, smashing at cars and tossing them into the air, ignoring the terrified screaming of those still inside. Ymir started to smash buildings. Fires started and in the distance Krista could only fall to her knees, dirty tears dripping from her chin. She had never imagined that Ymir was capable of such death and destruction, and she was scared. More than that, her heart was breaking. She knew that Ymir did not want to do this.

Someone had obviously done something to her, and Krista suddenly felt responsible. She had convinced Ymir to come here when they had been suspicious of the woman from the start. Why hadn’t she listened to Ymir’s warnings? Now Ymir was on a rampage and she wouldn’t stop until only rubble and blood remained at her feet.

It was then that the government took action, sending soldiers with heavy equipment. It had only been an hour since Ymir had completely changed and she had already destroyed half of the city and killed most of the population. Those still alive were fleeing for their lives, but Ymir still got them. Krista ran behind her, trying to catch up. She was confident that if she got through to Ymir then the brunette would snap out of it.

She was terrified that the helicopters she could hear would kill Ymir with missiles. In the distance Ymir raged on, with Krista running as fast as she could behind.

Ymir woke with a loud gasp, eyes snapping open and sweat dripping from her chin. She felt the trickle of blood on her face and winced at the dull throbbing at the back of her head.

Her mouth felt dry and full of cotton, and when she tried to move she realized that she couldn’t. With a heavy sense of dread Ymir looked around her surroundings but it was too dark. Wherever she was there was not a shred of light, and her entire body was chained up. She felt soil underneath her knees and dropped her head, mind racing.

Ymir didn’t have to think hard to picture herself in the same position as the demon in that book. She could feel the thick chains around her arms and wrists, waist and neck. A short breeze filtered from somewhere and Ymir shivered.

She realized that she was naked. This realization made Ymir fall into a complete panic. Her breaths started to come out as loud, heavy gasps and her heart pounded too quickly in her chest. Before she could start pulling at her restraints, sudden light burst in front of her eyes and Ymir shut them quickly, flinching away.

A moment later her eyes adjusted and Ymir opened them to stare down at her bare, marked body. Fucking hell.

“We’re glad that you’re finally awake,” someone snidely said.

Ymir’s head snapped up and her eyes widened when she recognized each face in front her.

Hannah stood beside Mylius, clutching his arm and staring down at the ground. Closest to Ymir and the person that had spoken was Berik. Behind him Mike leaned against the wall, sharing a look with Nac—all the people that had pretended to be nice to them.

What the fuck was happening?

“Where am I?” Ymir asked levelly. Her voice sounded strangled and high. She swallowed desperately and struggled at the chains around her wrists.

“Nu-uh. Break free and we hurt your little girlfriend,” Berik said. He pointed to the other end of the space they were in, grinning.

Ymir followed his pointing and clenched her teeth hard. Krista was crumbled against the dirty ground, hands bound behind her back and a rag stuffed into her mouth. There was a large bruise on her forehead with a slight stream of blood, but it had seemed to stop bleeding already.

“Ymir,” Mike spoke up. He shoved Berik out of the way. “I’m sorry for this,” he said. “This is something we need to do.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “And what the fuck do I have to do with it? Why the hell am I chained here, naked?”

Mylius studied the spiralling black marks along her skin. “These marks are proof that you are a demon,” he answered. “And you just happened to stop by the town just in time.”

Ymir looked at Mike, anger and betrayal in her eyes. “Krista will be devastated,” she said angrily. “Why the hell would you do this?”

Mike’s eyes lowered in shame. “You would not understand.”

A latch somewhere above them creaked open, throwing pale light over a wooden ladder. A pair of booted feet appeared and climbed down the ladder. Another man, one that Ymir did not recognize, turned when he stepped down onto the ground. The smile he sent her way was eerie.

“Is this our sacrifice?” he asked. The man had shortly cropped smooth black hair and a confident tilt to his walk. He went over to Ymir and then roughly grabbed her chin to lift her face and look into her eyes.

“It is, Tom sir,” Berik answered when no one else did.

Tom hummed in delight. “It is just as the book says,” he exclaimed happily. “Look at the red and black of the eyes! The horns!” He dropped her face and straightened. “How much longer?”

Mike sighed softly and rubbed at his chin. He glanced at his watch. “Ten more minutes until Black Moon. We should prepare.”

Tom nodded and shared a look with the others. Everyone understood the silent command and retrieved cloaks from a stone table at the other end of the dark room. When they donned it Ymir couldn’t tell them apart, and her chest tightened.

“At the peak of the moon, we shall offer our hearts,” Tom said, but which of the figures was him Ymir couldn’t tell.

She watched someone pull a heavy rope by the wall, and suddenly the ceiling opened up to the bright, starry sky. In the very centre of Ymir’s vision the moon stood high, darkened grey in a way that Ymir couldn’t explain.

A figure that Ymir assumed was Tom pulled a knife from his cloak and then cut a deep line in his palm before passing it on to the others. Each of them did the same, and when they were done they began to move together in a circle, hands outstretched as they drew ancient symbols with droplets of their blood.

“Why are you doing this?!” Ymir yelled, panicked.

“I lost my wife and daughter three years ago,” Mike answered loudly.

“I lost my fiancé,” Hannah added.

“My mother died of cancer,” Mylius said.

“My son was murdered,” Nac added tonelessly.

Tom and Berik offered no explanations.

They all stopped moving and then they threw the hoods of their cloaks off. “You are but a tool to reach our goals,” Tom said. He turned to Ymir and thrust his arm out. Hannah quickly gave him a long, elegant blade. “As our sacrifice we are going to use Lord Lucifer to regain our lost ones.”

Ymir’s frightened laugh echoed in the small space. “I’m not a fucking mystical creature!” she yelled. “I am alive, just as much as you!”

“We will not believe your lies, demon!” Tom screamed. “You were sent here from hell in order to offer yourself up!”

“What the fuck? There is no such thing you dumb fucks! These shitty rituals are bullshit! Demons don’t live in another plane. We are people just like you! We live among you!”

The others listened intently, but none looked up at Ymir. Years of religious upbringing made it difficult for them to believe otherwise.

“Ignore the demon,” Tom told them. He approached Ymir and then pressed the point of the knife against her skin, where her marks began.

Ymir was filled with so much anger and frustration. These idiots truly believed that some bullshit in some dirty old book was the truth. They were so misguided.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing,” Ymir said in a growl.

“We know exactly what we’re doing,” Tom said. He lifted his hand and the others surrounded Ymir and began chanting words that Ymir understood. They weren’t saying them correctly, but Ymir knew them. A shiver rocked down her spine and her marks began to tingle.

_Fuck, calm down,_ Ymir told herself. The force of her emotions was making her body unstable. Her ears rang with the unpleasant chant from the group. They were all looking at her with pitying, eerie gazes. They felt bad yet they were still willing to murder someone to chase an impossible dream.

Ymir understood the desire to bring someone back from the dead, but this was just ridiculous.

“Stop,” Ymir pleaded. “This won’t work.”

They continued to chant.

“Stop being dumbasses!”

They ignored her and Ymir trembled violently.

Just then Krista woke. Her eyes snapped open when recollection filled her senses. Chanting filled her ears, as well as Ymir’s angered pleading.

Krista struggled into a sitting position and tried to undo the rope around her wrists. It was tied so tightly that she couldn’t and because of the rag in her mouth she couldn’t call out to Ymir. She could already see the horns growing and they were the longest Krista had ever seen them. Ymir’s eyes were glazed over with fury and were steadily losing coherence as the group continued to chant and surround Ymir like vultures. Krista did not even spare hurt feelings for the betrayal. The faces around her became strangers and she struggled further at her bindings.

What were these people even thinking? If she did not figure out how to stop them and get Ymir out of there then things were going to end in the worst way possible.

The chanting gained in speed and became louder, voices echoing against the walls before bouncing to the sky. Krista gasped and grunted against the material in her mouth and did not see the hands coming her way until they wrapped around her throat and lifted her from the ground.

It was Berik, and he was grinning at her. “Since we’re gonna kill the freak, I might as well have some fun with you.” He pulled the rag out of her mouth and failed to dodge the spit that flew at his face from Krista’s lips.

“Go to hell!” Krista yelled in anger.

Ymir heard the only voice that set her heart to ease and glanced up in time to see Berik send a punch across Krista’s face. She fell hard against the floor and then Berik was on her, tearing at her clothes and unbuckling his belt.

Ice cold fear gripped Ymir’s entire being, and then white hot pain pierced her heart as Tom thrust the knife into her chest, breaking ribs. The brunette felt a torrent of blood spray from her lips and fell forward because of the pain. She heard Krista’s screams, the continued chanting. Then her body went limp and everything turned to silence.

Tom used the knife to cut a chunk of Ymir’s flesh out until he got to her beating heart. He grinned triumphantly and ripped it out. Blood gushed and spurted and he did not even mind that it soaked his clothes in warmth and scarlet.

“Accept our offer, oh lord of darkness! We call forth your power in order to bring back what we so unfairly lost.” Tom lifted his hands, with Ymir’s still beating organ in his palms. He didn’t expect it to still beat for so long, and when it continued to for a minute more he lowered it and stared down at it with a frightened expression. The others watched too, transfixed by the pumping organ that thumped even though it no longer served its purpose.

Suddenly Tom convulsed and dropped Ymir’s heart to the ground. He died almost immediately, and it was Hannah that screamed first when she saw the arm that had speared through him, and the clawed hand that held the crushed remains of the man’s heart.

Ymir pulled her arm free and then laughed, long and loud. Hannah immediately went for the ladder but Ymir stopped every person in the room with her ability. The air began to hiss with electricity and heat and Hannah screamed in agony as her skin began to boil. An instant later she exploded, showering meat, blood and flesh on the others. Nac, who had been right behind her, screamed in terror. He met the same fate.

Mike fell to the ground and stared at Ymir in terror. He realized then that she had been right. But there was no way that she was a mere person. This was a monster before him, and when those black, thirsty eyes fell on him tears and snot dripped down Mike’s face and he attempted to crawl away.

“No, please!” he pleaded, face contorted in terror. “Don’t kill me, please!”

Ymir barely looked human. Her muscles were bulged, limbs too long. Her horns were halfway out and her skin had already changed completely. A sadistic pleasure swept over her face as she watched Mike grovel at her feet. She barely even blinked when she ripped his arm off just to hear his scream, and then she closed her fist and Mike turned to ash.

The demon-born then turned to Mylius who was cowering in the corner. He had tried to escape but in his haste had tipped the ladder over, but it was already too late.

Ymir ran at him and in one heavy, fluid motion crushed his skull with her fist. She flicked the gore off of her hand and then turned to the last to suffer her wrath.

Berik stood with Krista in his arms, a knife pressed to her throat.

“S-stay the fuck away you monster!” he yelled. His breaths came out as high pitched pants and he could barely stand with the force of his shaking legs. “I’ll kill her!”

Ymir narrowed her eyes and then stepped forward. Berik did not expect her to lash out at him even though he held Krista, someone supposedly dear to her. He and Krista, who was unconscious from Berik punching her one more time before Ymir went crazy, slammed against the wall.

Berik scrambled to his feet and then screamed when Ymir picked him up in her hands and slammed him into the wall, so hard that his spinal cord shattered, as did the surface behind him.

Ymir pulled him closer so that she could look closely into his eyes. Her red lips parted and she grinned, baring elongated fangs. “I might as well have some fun with you,” she said. The voice that left her throat was nothing Berik had ever heard in his life before. It rattled through him so painfully that he began to cry instantly, and then he went limp when Ymir closed her teeth around his throat and ripped it out. She spat the chunk of flesh to the ground and then tossed Berik there too. She then stepped on him, over and over again until he was unrecognizable.

A soft groan caught Ymir’s attention and she turned to see Krista lying on the floor. Nostrils flaring, breaths hot and heavy, Ymir padded over to her. A sick thought entered her mind, but before she could do anything that she would regret later on, Ymir forced her mind back. Instead of strangling her to death, Ymir gently picked Krista up and then pulled them out of the hole in the ground.

The blonde was so tiny in her arms and unfortunately messed with the blood and gore that dripped down Ymir’s body.

The brunette managed to stumble into the barn and then she set Krista gently down on the hay, where their sleeping bags used to be, and collapsed beside her. She looked down at her huge, clawed hands, eyelids halfway open.

She had just killed six people.

Gradually Ymir’s body reduced in size until she looked normal again. Her hair and skin was still matted with thick, gooey blood, and she was still naked. The last fact barely registered to her, because after she changed back all she could do was watch Krista.

The blonde remained unconscious for another good hour and when she woke she did so by gasping and sitting up. The rope around her wrists was gone and she ached all over. At first she was confused, but then she saw their car and a trail of blood that led from outside. Krista assumed the worst at first, almost breaking down into sobs, but then she finally noticed Ymir watching her and relief crashed down on her so hard that she cried.

“Ymir!” Krista hurried to her side, eyes running over her body. “Are you okay? This blood… is it…?”

Ymir shook her head. Her brows were creased and she did not try to cover herself. She looked exhausted and in pain, and Krista noticed steam lifting from her chest.

“Okay, let’s get you cleaned up. Can I do that for you?”

Ymir nodded and allowed Krista to pull her into Mike’s house. She remained absolutely silent as the blonde washed her body and hair and then just as quietly put her clothes on. When they left the house Krista saw the ditch they had crawled out of and wanted to see what had happened, but Ymir stopped her and spoke in a soft, raspy voice.

“You don’t want to see it,” she said.

Krista decided to listen to her and got Ymir into the passenger seat of the car. She did not know what happened, but the blood and gore gave her a good idea. Her heart was pounding in fear and sympathy and she drove them away from the farm with shaking hands. Eventually, when Dena was far behind them, Krista parked the car beside the highway and turned to Ymir.

“I killed them,” Ymir answered before Krista even asked. She turned slowly and met Krista’s shocked gaze. “They took my heart out,” she said, and lifted her arm in front of her, fingers extended. “So I ripped them to pieces.” She closed her fist suddenly, and then she started to laugh manically.

Krista could only watch, unable to respond. She watched as Ymir laughed, her eyes vacant. She watched as Ymir realized what she was doing and then covered her head with her hands before she began to scream.

She watched as she sat there, doing nothing for the first time in her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for chapter IV: Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Krutch and Witness by Daughtry.

**IV**

* * *

 

“For tonight’s special story, a tragedy has struck the small town of Dena,” a stiff brunette anchor-woman announced, “Mutilated bodies were discovered in an underground bunker on a farm located just outside of the town. The owner of the farm, a man named Mike, has since disappeared. It is unclear whether some of the remains belong to him.” A picture of Mike flashed on the screen, and in the background it switched over to a reporter at the scene. “On scene we have Samuel. Over to you Sam.”

“Thanks Lynne. As you can see the entire area has been closed off with crime tape as investigators and authorities clear out the remains and piece together what might have happened. Local authorities are unimpressed with the invasion of their town, but due to the sheer scale of the massacre they have no say in the matter.”

“Are there any witnesses?” Lynne asked.

“Yes. There has been a report that a young man by the name of Thomas Wagner had stumbled upon the scene the day after it had happened. Almost immediately he called police and widespread panic rushed through the town’s folk.”

“And suspects?”

“As of today there are no known suspects. I spoke to some of the locals earlier and most of them described the appearance of two young teenage girls passing through, but they are cleared of suspicion due to the fact that most believe one of the teenagers to be a demon sent straight from hell.”

Lynne seemed baffled and squinted at the camera. “A demon?”

On scene Samuel shrugged. “The locals are rather superstitious, therefore it is most likely a satanic ritual gone wrong, or a religious lunatic responsible for the deaths. Right now the police are baffled as to how any human could mutilate a body so horridly, but the investigation is still ongoing.”

“Thank you Sam. Good luck over there. Today we have famous supernatural specialist Hanji Zoe with us, along with Pastor Nick and Rico Brzenka who has just published her fifth book titled ‘The Lies Told of Modern Religion and Superstitious Belief’.”

The camera panned out to reveal the three guests sitting to the anchor-woman’s right.

“First of all, let’s have your take on this incident Hanji. I heard that you rushed to the incident the moment there was a mention of possible otherworldly influence.”

The camera zoomed in to a brunette woman sitting at the edge of the couch. She had thick glasses on, along with a lab coat that most thought was overdramatic. She smiled widely and pressed her hands together before taking a deep breath.

“Well, my long standing theory is that our common concept of angels and demons is wrong, and that in fact they live and breathe just as we do. Now, if this is in fact true, then what killed those people was not a demon from the underworld but in fact a person—”

“I’m sorry?” Rico interrupted. “Are you saying that demons are _people_?”

Hanji nodded vigorously. “As you stated in your latest book, religion was early man’s attempts to understand the world. The bible itself is a collection of stories created to teach lessons and spread messages. In the past our primitive species would have revered any creature stronger than us. More than likely our visual depictions of demons are correct, though exaggerated.”

Rico sighed and fiddled with her glasses. “While I do believe your understanding of early man is correct, there is no way that any mystical being exists in our natural world. Demons are just depictions of human failure and fear. In the past if one was born disabled, demons were to blame. It was merely a blaming tool, something to strike fear in ignorant hearts. Not a race of people.”

“Yes, but—”

“How dare you!” Pastor Nick suddenly exploded. The camera quickly focused on the old man’s red face. “How dare you two speak as if the Lord does not exist? This murder was clearly the work of the devil himself, whispering lies and deceptions into the ears of young unbelievers. Your book,” he pointed a finger at Rico, “is the reason this has been allowed to happen! God is unhappy and angry at our sins, and He is showing us His wrath!”

Both Rico and Hanji rolled their eyes.

“Isn’t your god supposed to be all loving?” Hanji asked.

“And if this is ‘his wrath’ then that makes your god a merciless killer. We don’t know that these people were “heathens” or what sort of lives they led. They haven’t even been identified yet!”

Pastor Nick wiped a tissue over his sweaty forehead and glared strongly into the camera. “Our time is coming to an end. Sinners and heathens are bringing the wrath of God upon us. Atheists and homosexuals are all to blame!”

“Alright, that’s enough Pastor Nick!” Lynne interrupted in warning. “We are not here to discuss your godly views. Please stick to the topic at hand and try to refrain from acting on your emotions. We all have different opinions and we are here today to share them.”

Pastor Nick rolled his eyes and slumped in the seat. He relented, but muttered bible verses under his breath.

Hanji ignored him afterwards and continued on with her earlier train of thought. “I’ve met a demon,” she said. The crowd in the background gasped and muttered amongst themselves.

“Really?” Lynne asked.

Hanji nodded and grinned. “She looks just like you and me. Born as a normal human, raised as one.”

“You speak in the present tense,” Rico observed. “Do you mean this was recent, and that this “demon” still lives?”

“Of course!” Hanji exclaimed with a laugh. “We share conversation over coffee occasionally. As it is, she has her own life to live. As difficult as it is to believe, demons are not here to simply wreak havoc as some may think. They have a choice too, and for the past generations they have chosen to remain peaceful.”

Lynne shook her head in amazement. She turned to Rico. “Now let’s have your opinion on the murder scene,” she said.

Ymir glanced away from the TV screen when she heard the door to the hotel open and shut. She saw blonde hair and then turned back to watching Rico explain her logic behind how it was not a demon that had committed the massacre.

Krista dropped a large plastic bag on the table and then noticed what Ymir was watching.

“… therefore, someone had to have had extreme anger and the right amount of adrenalin to—”

Krista quickly turned the TV off. “I, um, got Chinese,” she said.

Ymir continued to blankly stare at the screen and then she nodded slowly and sniffed the air. Her stomach growled and she reached out to pull a box of noodles out. She didn’t wait for Krista and grabbed a pair of chopsticks to begin eating.

Krista couldn’t look at Ymir’s face, so she nervously retrieved her own meal and sat down at the table opposite from Ymir.

Meanwhile, Ymir wondered if that Hanji person really had met a real demon. Did that mean there were more out there? Wouldn’t surprise her, really.

“So… d-did you manage to get some sleep?” Krista asked, not looking up when Ymir looked at her.

“Not really,” Ymir replied. She could sense the fear behind Krista’s voice and her heart clenched.

“I think I’m going to sleep early tonight,” Krista said. She placed her barely eaten meal back into the packet and then wiped her mouth off on a serviette. She passed by Ymir and paused beside her. “Ymir, I…” she reached out but froze just before touching Ymir’s cheek. Suddenly Ymir stood, chair scraping behind her, and Krista stumbled back in fright. She swallowed and pressed a hand to her chest. “G-goodnight,” she said quickly and then climbed into the second bed in the room.

Ymir looked at her back and rubbed at her eyes. She wordlessly left the hotel room to wander aimlessly around the empty parking lot again. She’d been doing it since they arrived, since she knew that Krista hadn’t been able to look at her since they had left Dena.

Meanwhile Krista curled her fists beside her head and stared emptily out of the hotel window. She felt absolutely awful, and tears collected at the corners of her eyes. Why couldn’t she just look Ymir in the eyes? She had barely glanced her way at all in the past few days.

In all honesty, she was still scared. Scared of the blood she had seen, of the crazy glint in Ymir’s eyes. Krista had always held this belief that Ymir over exaggerated. Now she knew that was false. She knew what Ymir was really capable off, and she was frightened.

Being scared of Ymir had never even seemed a possibility to her. Not how afraid she was now and it hurt her so badly to know that she was pushing Ymir away because of something that she couldn’t control.

_“Stop acting like I’m not dangerous and like you aren’t scared of me.”_

Ymir’s words rang in Krista’s head. She suddenly thought of home, of her family and of school. She missed them and a shameful regret filled her heart. Should she have left with Ymir? It had only been a week since leaving and Ymir had already murdered six people.

What if her dream of eating Krista came true?

Krista slapped a hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. Tears leaked out and wet the pillow below her head.

_No. No, no, no. I don’t want to be afraid of her. I love her._

But Ymir’s deranged laughter was still fresh in her memory and then her anguished screams. Krista curled into a ball and pressed her chin against her chest.

She would have to figure out how look at Ymir again.

XxX

_I don’t have a good feeling about this_ , Ymir thought a tad bit nervously.

She glanced behind herself, biting her lip in concentration. _I should just meet with her and then if I still feel weird then I can leave._ Ymir clasped her hands together and looked down at the ground. _She said she knows how to seal it away. I still haven’t been successful._

Ymir’s throat felt thick, like her oesophagus had swollen and air couldn’t pass through. Her lungs burnt, her marks tingled and hurt. _Alright,_ Ymir finally thought. She pulled her hands apart and allowed her feet to lead her into the mall.

She wandered around for a good hour, trying to find the restaurant she was supposed to meet the woman at, but it seemed that she was just going in circles.

_Where is it?_ Ymir thought in frustration.

_Maybe I can use the note._

She retrieved the piece of paper from her pocket and lifted it to her nose and then inhaled deeply, eyes closed. Afterwards she put the paper back into her pocket.

_This time I’ll fucking get it right._

Ymir used her insane sense of smell to track the scent on the paper. For the first few minutes she wasn’t following any specific trail, but then she suddenly caught the familiar scent. It led her outside, to where a large fountain stood in the centre of a plaza. There were multiple tables and chairs scattered around, large umbrellas above them to shield those resting from the sun.

There were little children running about, a few even attempting to jump into the fountain for a swim. Luckily a father hurried to catch his daughter and sternly warned her not to act like an animal in public.

Ymir ignored them and followed her nose to the far side of the plaza. There, sitting in the shade wearing nothing but black, was her—and when Ymir made to step towards her, a sudden black mass flashed by her and the woman disappeared. Ymir’s heart suddenly stopped and she fell forward, blood climbing up her throat. When she hit the ground she clutched at her chest, spasming.

This time there was no one to drop to her side and comfort her.

Ymir’s eyes snapped open. Above her the ceiling was grey with darkness and bathed in a single bar of yellow light from the street below. Her heart thundered and Ymir pressed a hand to her chest. Her clothes were soaked through with sweat and Ymir lifted her other hand to rub the side of her face.

Painful emotions wracked her body for a long while as she focused on calming down. For once she hadn’t transformed mid-dream, so there were no injuries or gushes of blood—just a broken heart.

Her future had changed, she realized. It didn’t have Krista in it.

Ymir turned her head and caught the still figure of Krista in the bed beside hers. She missed feeling the blonde sleep on top of her. In that moment she wouldn’t have minded having numb limbs due to Krista sleeping on them. She had been alone and cold for days now.

Would Krista ever touch her again? Would she ever get over her fear?

A very big part of Ymir wanted to be angry at Krista. She wanted to yell and punch the wall while asking why Krista broke every promise she’d made in the past. But then images of her crimes bore down on her and Ymir knew that she couldn’t be angry at Krista; though the thought of losing her terrified the brunette. There was nothing she could really do to stop the blonde if she wanted to leave.

Where were they going to go now? Things were awkward and tense and Ymir had all but given up in finding some way to stop her impending destruction of the world. At least if Krista wasn’t with her then she wouldn’t eat her.

Ymir quietly climbed out of bed and slipped a pair of jeans and a hoody on. She found her sneakers nearby and after putting them over her feet, made for the door, but tripped over her bag in the darkness; it slid underneath her bed. She cursed softly and braced for the fall. Luckily she landed on her hands and knees so she barely felt the impact.

Ymir breathed shakily as she rose to her feet. Had she become a klutz on top of a murderer? A strange, piercing warm feeling filled Ymir’s chest and made her stomach lurch. She quickly covered it up with numbness and pressed a hand firmly to her forehead until it faded.

Ever since that day… she had been struggling with her sanity. Just thinking about the massacre sent strange feelings through her body and she caught herself wanting to do it again. It repulsed her. It made her feel angry and upset. Most times she would end up throwing up, because the taste of Berik’s flesh and blood would explode on her taste buds and she just couldn’t handle it.

At first she had been traumatized. Krista had watched her scream. Afterwards, after screaming and panicking, the anxiety melted away to nothing. Ymir felt nothing. The usual guilt and shame, yeah, but not overwhelming guilt at the brutal murder of six mislead people. Actually, a sick part of Ymir still smirked darkly. That part told her they deserved it.

_They were idiots. They lead themselves to their death, me as their tool. Had that fluke ritual worked, would I have been the sole person responsible for opening the gate? Of course not. Therefore I am not responsible for taking their lives. It was fun, wasn’t it? Turning them to ash and gore and watching their blood spray everywhere. It was the most fun I’ve ever had. If only Krista—Krista… No. What am I thinking? That wasn’t fun! I’m a fucking monster. Oh god. Someone help me out of this nightmare. I can’t control myself or escape this hell. I’ve tried so many times… so many goddamn times._

Ymir ignored the vicious voices in her head and walked away from the hotel building. She noticed a café still open and headed towards it with her hands stuffed into her pockets, her hood thrown over her head. She did not want anyone to see her marks.

As Ymir approached the store she felt the presence of someone behind her and stopped walking. Whoever had started to follow paused as well. When Ymir started walking again, so did the person.

Instead of fear, excitement filled Ymir and she bit down harshly into her lip until blood leaked out. If that person was to touch her, she would most likely lash out without control and rip their throat out. Ymir didn’t want to do that. She didn’t want to stain herself in more blood. When would this battle against herself cease?

She made it to the café and hurried inside. The person entered behind her but took a seat to the left of the store. Ymir breathed a small sigh of relief and internally chastised herself for being so goddamn paranoid.

Ymir had been wondering why the news hadn’t mentioned her name yet. They’d mentioned two teenage girls, but that was it. Why hadn’t Thomas told them about her? Surely he had an idea that it was Ymir that had done it, since he had been there that day. He knew that they had stayed with Mike and now they were gone, with a pool of blood and gore in their wake—no, in Ymir’s wake. Krista was still innocent, she was clean.

The brunette sat down on a stool and pressed her mouth against her palm. She didn’t really feel like drinking anything, but the silence and darkness eased her nerves. She ordered a coffee anyway, eyes not meeting the woman that approached her to take the order. Her voice was low when she spoke, and she pulled the hood down lower when the woman went off to make her simple order.

“You look very suspicious,” someone spoke beside her.

Ymir startled but showed no outward reaction. She clenched her teeth and turned her face ever so slightly to the person that had just recently taken the seat beside her; it was the person that had followed her in, and they were also wearing a hood over their face.

“Can I help you?” Ymir asked harshly. Maybe if she acted like a dick then the person would leave.

“Wow, you sound just like her.” The person dropped the hood and Ymir’s eyes widened. “I’m Hanji Zoe. You probably saw me on the news.” She held her hand out and smiled brightly.

Ymir studied her face in astonishment. What did this mean? Her heart began to pound. Were the police onto her? Was this some sting operation? Though, if Ymir was put into jail she would only end up killing everyone there. So far she had realized that nothing could kill her—not even having her heart torn out.

“Oh don’t look so frightened,” Hanji said with a laugh. She smiled at the woman that approached with Ymir’s coffee. “Hi, can I have one too?”

“Sure.” The woman smiled back and went off to make another.

“Now, take your hood off so that I can see your face.”

Ymir glanced to the side to see the door. It could take her a minute to be out of the door. Could she run fast enough? But what if police were surrounding the place? Running would label her guilty almost immediately.

“Um,” Ymir began to tremble. “I don’t know who you are,” she said unsteadily.

“Obviously, we’ve only just met! But I’d really like to get a look at your face. Please?” Hanji placed a hand on Ymir’s shoulder and frowned at how tense she was. “Wow, you really think I’m here to arrest you?”

Ymir didn’t respond. She clenched her fists and stared down into her coffee.

“I didn’t want to have to do this,” Hanji said. “But it seems I really have no choice. Ymir, look at me.”

Ymir straightened in her seat and looked at Hanji in bafflement. “H-how do you know my name?”

“I had a long chat with Thomas,” Hanji said as she removed her glasses and glanced around to make sure no one was looking their way. There were barely any other people there, since it was quite early in the morning but Hanji still had to make sure. “Ymir, when I show you please don’t make a scene.”

Ymir was about to ask what Hanji meant, but then the breath left her body when Hanji’s eyes clouded over in black and red and it was like looking into a mirror. Ymir gripped the table in front of her and sat there, speechless.

Hanji’s eyes quickly returned to normal and then she re-perched her glasses atop her nose. “See?” She smiled and scooted closer. “I’m a friend. We are the same.”

Ymir, eyes wide, licked her dry lips. “You… are you…?”

“Like you? I am. Now that I showed you mine, please show me yours.” Hanji grinned playfully at her joke and bumped shoulders with the young brunette. “No tricks, I swear.”

Ymir couldn’t deny that what she had just seen was real. Hanji had just shown her eyes that she had only ever seen in a mirror. Was she a demon too?

There was no other choice, really, so Ymir nervously dropped the hood from her face and looked at Hanji. She gasped when the woman suddenly stood and grabbed her face.

“They’ve spread,” Hanji said seriously to herself. “Ymir, how long have they been spreading? How far do they spread?”

Ymir watched Hanji’s eyes shift from their natural colour to red. She didn’t understand why Hanji seemed so upset. “S-since I can remember? And they’re all over.”

“Shit!”  Hanji released her and slumped back down into her seat. The few other people were starting to look their way. “This is… this is really bad. Super, super bad.”

Ymir self-consciously rubbed a hand over the marks on her neck. “Why is it bad?” she asked.

Hanji pulled her glasses off to rub at her eyes. “Ymir, you don’t really understand what you are, do you?”

“I’m a monster.”

Hanji sighed deeply. “No, not a monster. At least, that wasn’t the plan.” Hanji returned her glasses and then looked to Ymir again. This time she took a moment to look closely at Ymir’s face. “I got such a fright from the marks that I didn’t even take a good look at you. Scoot closer.” Ymir did as she was told and grunted in annoyance when Hanji grabbed her face again. She tilted her head in all angles, studying every feature of her face. “Huh,” she said.

“What?”

“You have a startling resemblance.”

“To who?”

Hanji gave Ymir’s cheek a pat and turned forward again. She noticed her order of coffee had arrived and sent the server an appreciative smile. Humming, Hanji took a long sip of the hot brew and sighed in content.

“That will have to be discussed at a later stage,” Hanji said.

Ymir remained sitting sideways. She was still baffled by this woman’s strangeness. Who did she look like? What did Hanji mean?

“Ymir, I need you to come with me.” Hanji’s playfulness suddenly dropped and all humour left her eyes, replaced by a startlingly angry red. Ymir wasn’t sure what the anger was directed at.

“What do you mean? I have no obligation to do anything you want me to do.”

Hanji took another sip of coffee. “I will forcefully take you with me if I need to. This is the promise that I have to fulfil. You are a danger to everyone in your current state.” The bespectacled woman rubbed her chin in thought. “We had no idea that your powers had been awakened.”

“Wait, powers? I’m sorry lady but you don’t know me.” Ymir’s eyes flashed red this time. Her marks tingled with her aggravation. “I don’t know what the hell you want with me, but I want nothing to do with it.”

“Do you care for Krista?”

Ymir froze upon hearing the name. “Of course I do!”

Hanji’s eyes lowered to stare at the smooth surface of the table. “Then you need to leave her and come with me. Your body won’t hold out much longer. Ymir, in order to quite literally save the world you need to come with me. I have someone that you desperately need to meet.”

“Leave Krista?” Ymir was saying it more to herself than anything.

“Call her family, here,” Hanji pulled her phone out and placed it in front of Ymir. “Get her family here to fetch her and when you know that she’s safe, find me here,” she placed a slip of paper on the table beside the phone. “I’ll pick you up and we can seal your powers away for good.”

Ymir’s mind raced. “Is there really a way to seal it?”

Hanji groaned and collapsed against the table, nearly sending her coffee all over the place. “We were supposed to seal it the second you were born, but they—” she paused, thought better of admitting the truth and then sat up to finish her coffee.

Ymir knew that more questions would get her no answers, so she merely watched Hanji’s face. The woman looked deeply troubled, though she shrugged her shoulders and instead smiled brightly.

Suddenly Hanji grabbed Ymir’s hand and then pulled her sleeve up. She inspected the marks along her arm and then clucked her tongue.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh,” Hanji said. She pressed a finger to Ymir’s wrist and the freckled brunette hissed when sharp pricks shot up her arm. She tried to struggle free but Hanji’s grip was too strong, and then the woman eventually let go and Ymir saw that she had inscribed small words against her tanned skin. “There. That’ll protect you for now.”

Ymir lifted it to her face to inspect it. The words looked foreign but the meaning was readable to her. “What the hell is this?!”

“Something that you needed,” Hanji answered. “I cannot believe that it’s taken so long since—” she paused again.

“Since what?”

Hanji ignored the question. “Well, shit happens!” She laughed. “At least I finally found you. As horrid as it seems, I am thankful for that murder in Dena. Without it we might have been too late.” She pulled money from her pocket and slapped it down on the table. “Think my offer over, Ymir. Whether you decide to or not, you’re coming with me.” Though her words were threatening, her eyes softened considerably and she placed a warm palm against Ymir’s cheek. “I thought I’d never see you again, or alive for that matter. We thought you would have been killed by now.”

Ymir simply stared. She swallowed loudly.

Hanji tapped her nose with a smile and then took a few steps away. “If you stay with your blonde you _will_ hurt her, Ymir. I’m surprised you haven’t yet. If you truly care about her, and if you ever want to get control over yourself, you’ll place that call and follow my note.” The brunette winked to soften her words and then headed for the café doors. “I’ll be waiting!” she threw over her shoulder.

Ymir could only watch her walk away, absently rubbing at the new marks on her skin.

XxX

Ymir’s mind was still racing when she quietly opened the door and crept back into the hotel room. It was just as dark as when she had left, but then a light suddenly switched on and Ymir shielded her eyes from it.

“Ymir?” Krista was standing by the table, face wet and red. It was obvious that she had been crying—hard.

“Krista…” Ymir pressed her back up against the door, eyes focused on the ground.

“Ymir, you…” Krista felt more tears pour over her cold cheeks and warm them. Suddenly she was running and then she collapsed against Ymir’s chest and clutched at her shirt. “Your bag was gone and I thought you left,” she said between sobs and hiccups.

Ymir didn’t know how to react, and she hesitantly wrapped her arms around Krista. The most amazing warmth swept through her and she released a shaking breath in relief. Krista was always so warm and so soft. It felt wonderful to hug her again. Ymir felt like she hadn’t hugged her in forever.

“I thought you left and I became so sad,” Krista continued to cry.

Ymir pressed her lips to the crown of Krista’s head and closed her eyes. She could feel Krista trembling. “You’re scared of me.”

Krista quieted. She heard Ymir’s heartbeat against her ear and felt the warmth seep from her body. She was scared. Though she had gotten the fright of her life she was still afraid. Images of Ymir’s real form kept flashing behind her eyes and no matter how hard she tried, she just could not stop imagining how Ymir had killed those people.

“It’s okay,” Ymir said softly. She gently stroked Krista’s hair and allowed the blonde to cry against her. She felt the weight of Hanji’s phone in her pocket, and suddenly Ymir realized that Hanji had been right.

The way she was now, she would ruin everything with Krista. She wanted to be someone that Krista could look to for strength and comfort. She wanted to be someone that everyone envied Krista for. She wanted to be the person that truly deserved the emotions Krista had spent on her.

Leaving Malia as suddenly as they had was a naïve, impulsive decision. Taking Krista with her had been a bad idea. Ymir wanted to be able to walk hand-in-hand with Krista, as an equal. For now she couldn’t. Her body was wracked with too many problems, her mind riddled with too many issues.

If she ever deserved to kiss Krista’s lips, then it definitely wasn’t now.

“Krista, it’s late. You should get to bed.” Ymir didn’t move to touch Krista further, because she knew that the blonde would have been frightened by it.

Krista sniffled loudly and then she nodded and stepped away. “Please don’t leave me,” she said tearfully.

Ymir’s heart ached and she reached out to caress Krista’s cheek. The blonde flinched, so she paused midway and then dropped her arm. “Get to bed,” Ymir said. “I’ll be here when you wake.”

XxX

_Krista fidgeted nervously as she stood in front of the door to Ymir’s house. The brunette hadn’t been at school that day and so she had decided to stop by to see if Ymir was alright and to give her the work she had missed._

_When the door swung open Krista expected to see the annoyed freckled face that she often dreamt about, but instead it was Nanaba, Ymir’s older sister._

_“Uh, hi…” Krista greeted nervously._

_Nanaba’s blue eyes softened and she grinned. “You’re her, aren’t you?”_

_“Um… I’m sorry?”_

_The tall blonde chuckled and moved aside to allow Krista in._

_“Ymir has been complaining about ‘an annoying little blonde tailing her ass like a fly’. I’m guessing that it’s you.”_

_Krista pouted and blushed. “I guess. I’m Krista.”_

_“Nanaba,” the taller blonde said and shook hands with the smaller girl. “Don’t worry, she acts like a jerk but really I think she likes you.”_

_Now Krista was blushing madly. She hadn’t met Nanaba yet since the tall blonde was too busy with her studies, but she had seen her around Ymir a few times at school. By asking around she had discovered that her name was Nanaba, she was_ very _much into girls and that she was Ymir’s sister. Krista had been very confused initially because they looked absolutely nothing alike, but then she discovered that Ymir had been adopted and it made more sense._

_“I’m sorry for stopping by so suddenly,” Krista said. “The teacher asked someone to bring this to Ymir and I was the only one that volunteered.”_

_Nanaba chuckled and sighed. She rubbed a hand through her short blonde hair and then shrugged. “That douche. Does she treat_ anyone _kindly?”_

_Krista didn’t want to speak badly of Ymir but she couldn’t exactly lie. “N-not really.”_

_“I’m surprised that you haven’t hightailed it yet.”_

_Krista’s blush fell away and determination took her features. “I love her and want to make her happy,” she blurted out. When she realized what she had admitted she slapped a hand over her mouth. “I-I mean that she looked so lonely… I, um… I couldn’t just let her be alone.”_

_Nanaba seemed genuinely surprised but insanely pleased. She couldn’t stop herself from pouncing on Krista to give her a tight hug. “Oh my god you are adorable! Why hasn’t Ymir asked you out yet? I can’t believe that idiot’s luck.”_

_Krista blushed more brightly than she had earlier and giggled as Nanaba rubbed their cheeks together and cooed._

_“What the hell are you doing?” Ymir spoke up from the hallway. She stood with an arm clamped firmly over her stomach, her skin pale and wet with sweat._

_Nanaba noticed her and straightened in alarm. “Ymir, I—”_

_“Not you,” Ymir snapped. “Why are you here?” she directed at Krista._

_The blondes shared a look and then Krista nervously stepped forward. “I came to g-give you today’s notes and let you know about the test we’re gonna have on Friday.”_

_Ymir eyed her through narrowed eyes and then she suddenly went into a coughing fit and fell against the wall. Nanaba was by her side in seconds._

_“Ymir, you shouldn’t have gotten up.”_

_Ymir growled and shoved Nanaba away from her. “I’m not your fucking patient!” she yelled. “Pity someone else. Fuck sakes.” She coughed again and this time speckles of blood splashed against her fist. This caused Krista to notice the blood stains on Ymir’s shirt—they looked fresh._

_“Y-Ymir, maybe you should get into bed. Please?” Krista slowly approached and then placed a trembling hand against Ymir’s skin. She had to suppress her surprised gasp when she felt how insanely hot the brunette’s skin was._

_Ymir gave her a long, hard stare and then she huffed and turned around on her heel. She slowly pulled herself down the hall towards her bedroom, breaths coming out as hot gasps. She felt dizzy and sick and had in fact just finished emptying her stomach in the bathroom._

_The brunette hated it when she became sick like this._

_Krista followed Ymir all the way into her room, silently enough that Ymir startled when she was about to climb into bed and she noticed the blonde by her doorway._

_“What else did you come here for?” Ymir growled at her._

_Krista nervously closed the door and then went over to Ymir. She noticed a bowl of water with a cloth in it and gently pushed Ymir down onto the bed._

_“I wanted to see you,” she admitted shyly._

_Ymir reluctantly laid back and watched curiously as the blonde rung the cloth out and then scooted close._

_“Can I please wipe you down?” Krista asked softly._

_Ymir took a breath to immediately yell no, but then she caught Krista’s blue gaze and the breath passed through her lips in an exhale. She gripped at her boxers and swallowed. Why did she feel comfortable with the girl in her room? Ymir couldn’t even handle her own siblings bothering her._

_“Whatever,” Ymir responded._

_Krista smiled slightly and then scooted as close as she could so that she could run the cloth over Ymir’s face to clean the sweat. At first she was distracted by the freckles and at some point began to count them, but then Ymir’s twitching eyebrow told her that the brunette was becoming annoyed so she quickly withdrew to rinse the cloth and distract her pounding heart._

_“C-could I wipe your back?”_

_Ymir had been perfectly still and silent up until now, but suddenly she shot up and glared at Krista. “What the hell is your objective here?” She seemed so upset._

_“U-um… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”_

_Ymir rubbed her face and sighed deeply. “No. If you’re done playing nurse then could you please leave?” She dropped down again and turned onto her side. Since she was wearing a tank top Krista saw a glimpse of black against her skin and couldn’t help but reach out to pull the shirt aside on Ymir’s back._

_Ymir felt it and reacted by lashing out and pushing Krista off of the bed. Krista grabbed Ymir as she fell and the brunette didn’t have enough time to grab for something to stop her fall. She fell with Krista and the two landed with a thud on the ground._

_“Fuck,” Ymir exclaimed. She realized that she had fallen on top of Krista and quickly scrambled to get off of her. “Shit, I’m sorry!” She reached out and took Krista’s hand to pull her up, but then paused halfway when she realized what she was doing. She quickly dropped her hand and stumbled away._

_“What are those marks?” Krista asked. She pointed at Ymir’s chest, eyes serious. “Is that a tattoo?”_

_Ymir noticed her shirt sleeve had slunk down, exposing the spirals on her chest, and quickly covered it up by fixing her shirt. “No!” Ymir replied angrily. “I was born with them.”_

_Krista hesitantly scooted closer and she was surprised when Ymir didn’t move away. Once she was close enough she looked into Ymir’s eyes and slowly reached out. Ymir didn’t move a muscle. She breathed unevenly and allowed Krista to press a trembling palm against her chest, where her marks began._

_“Ymir,” Krista said softly. “I want to know about you.” She glanced down at her hand and then back up at Ymir._

_The acceptance Ymir saw there made her stomach flip. Her chest buzzed with foreign emotions and Ymir had to swallow. Strangely, she wasn’t feeling a suffocating anxiety at someone touching her._

_Nanaba had touched her once and she had broken the blonde’s nose. Of course she had apologised and felt like shit about it for weeks. Ever since then everyone had learnt to never touch Ymir unexpectedly. At least Nanaba had gotten over it rather quickly._

_“Why do you even care?” Ymir asked softly. Her eyes studied Krista’s, wide and searching and scared. She had never been this close to a person before, and she didn’t understand why Krista’s proximity was making her body feel weird._

_“Would it be strange if I said that I simply just care?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_Krista sighed softly but smiled. Though annoying, it could be amusing when Ymir was being difficult._

_“Can I see it? Please?”_

_Ymir wanted to say no. She wanted to shove Krista away like she had earlier and create distance between them, but she also didn’t want to. The strangest desire overtook her, and without consciously doing so Ymir nodded her head._

_Krista’s eyes widened in surprise and then more so when Ymir slowly pulled the shirt down to expose the marks just above her breast._

_“I was born with it,” Ymir said softly. Her hands were shaking. She stared at the floor and glared. “I didn’t ask for it.”_

_Krista reached out to touch the black marks but then thought better of it and curled her hands into fists against her lap. “What caused them?” she asked._

_Krista didn’t know the truth yet. All she knew was that Ymir was difficult and someone wracked with problems. Ymir knew that the blonde wasn’t aware of what she really was. Who really did? None of her family members knew. Of course she couldn’t tell them. What would they think and feel? They would have kicked her onto the streets, and that was one place Ymir never wanted to go back to ever again._

_With a shrug Ymir covered her marks again and then pressed her head against the wall to her back. “Pain,” she said. “Indescribable amounts of pain.”_

_In that moment Krista saw Ymir for who she was—not the nasty, harsh person that most despised and feared, but the person calling out for help and filled with so much pain that it was unbearable._

_The realization ripped through Krista’s heart like a strike of pain and she couldn’t stop herself from shooting forward to give the brunette a long, heartfelt hug._

_“I’m so sorry,” Krista said, voice cracking. “You’ve been so alone for so long.” She tightened her arms and buried her face against Ymir’s neck. “I’m so sorry that you’ve had to suffer alone all this time.”_

_Ymir stared straight forward, her arms limp at her side and chest heaving. Her marks began to tingle and burn and she felt the blood climbing her throat. She closed her eyes to force the pain away, but instead focused on the blonde against her._

_Without conscious thought Ymir wrapped her arms around her, and for the first time in forever she didn’t feel alone anymore._

Krista’s eyes opened not due to the morning light pouring in through the hotel window, but instead due to the aching of her heart. She felt it pounding and hurting, and placed a hand over the spot. For once she was the one to wake from a painful dream. It was a memory, one of the many that Krista absolutely cherished.

It was this dream that reminded Krista that Ymir had been in so much pain and suffering before, and still was. How much more was she suffering now? Krista was acting like a child, afraid of reality and attempting to run from it.

She was still scared. What Ymir had done was horrible. If she had done it intentionally, in her right mind, then perhaps there would never be coming back from that—but she hadn’t. Ymir had been pushed to her limit after begging for them to stop.

Krista remembered Berik, remembered his sweaty hands on her body and she shivered violently at the memory. She also remembered turning her head just in time to see that man slice into Ymir’s chest before Berik had knocked her out.

How much pain had Ymir endured in the time that Krista had been out? How much more had she suffered afterwards, when, seeking the usual comfort she had grown needful off, was denied anything of the sort? How had Ymir not broken into a fit of sobs or outraged yelling? All she had been since the incident was distant and cold.

Maybe it was her only way to cope.

Krista’s heart burnt with love and pain and she no longer wanted to run. She wanted to deal with her feelings head on and work _with_ Ymir to get over the fear. She would have to work hard to accept the reality that had been handed to them and accept Ymir for what she was and what she was capable of. Krista wasn’t sure if she would be able to truly accept Ymir as a murderer, but she was damn determined to try.

A light snore tore Krista from her thoughts and she turned her head. She was slightly startled to see Ymir in her bed, though the brunette was as far from her as possible, practically falling off of the bed. Krista smiled and her heart warmed for once.

Ymir had kept to her word; she had stayed.

Krista sniffled as sudden tears burnt her eyes and she scooted closer to mould her body to Ymir’s. The overwhelming fear that had taken her melted away under the strong scent that Krista knew so well, and the comforting warmth from Ymir’s long body.

Krista laughed softly when she spotted the splatter of freckles on Ymir’s exposed shoulders. Her skin was too hot, so she had most likely broken out into a fever during the night and put something lighter on.

Suddenly the events of the last week didn’t matter. Krista felt at home again. She was no longer terrified, though she doubted that she would feel the same if Ymir were to get upset in her presence. At least now she could touch Ymir’s skin and be close to her without feeling an irritational need to get away in case something happened.

Even now she knew that Ymir would never _want_ to hurt her.

Ymir groaned softly in her sleep and then instinctively circled Krista in her arms. She pulled the blonde tightly to her body and Krista’s breathing quickened. She was mostly frightened by how quickly it had happened and by how tight Ymir had pulled her in, but then she realized why. Ymir was afraid of losing her and in her subconscious mind was holding her close so that she couldn’t get away.

Krista’s heart warmed with the illogical love she held for the person holding her so tightly. It no longer mattered what Ymir did or what she was. Krista merely wanted to love her even if she never received that love in return.

That is the kind of emotions she wanted to hold for the brunette and that is what she had felt so strongly until now. She refused to let something they couldn’t control come in the way of that.

Krista wiggled around to loosen Ymir’s arms and then scooted away slightly so that there was enough room for her to pull Ymir’s shirt upwards. Her eyes scanned Ymir’s sweaty, tanned and freckled skin until it landed at the marks by her heart. She did not blush or even think about her actions.

She stared seriously at the spot where Ymir had been stabbed and then pressed a hand to the skin there. A strong heartbeat is what she felt, along with smooth, undamaged skin. There was no scar either and no sign that there had ever been a wound. Krista sighed in relief and pressed her forehead against Ymir’s marks. She hadn’t noticed when Ymir’s body grew absolutely still and when the snoring stopped, so her eyes snapped open in surprise when she felt Ymir’s chest vibrate with her voice.

“What are you doing?”

Krista didn’t move away. Instead she lowered Ymir’s shirt so as not to make her uncomfortable and embarrassed and then threw an arm around Ymir to hold her tightly.

“Cuddling,” she answered.

Ymir stared down at Krista’s blonde hair, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “I thought…” she looked over her shoulder and remembered that she had snuck into Krista’s bed earlier. Why hadn’t she been kicked out by now?

“I’m sorry Ymir,” Krista said. “I’ve been making this about myself and thinking badly of you for something you didn’t have control over.” Krista’s grip tightened. “I dreamt about the day I first saw your marks.” Her hand pressed to the said marks and then Krista tipped her head back to smile up at Ymir’s face. “No matter what Ymir, I’m always on your side.”

Ymir stared at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. The most beautiful smile spread out on her face afterwards and then she started to cry. The anger and pain from what she had done suddenly washed over her and Ymir allowed Krista to see all of it.

“I’m sorry,” Ymir uttered between sobs. “I didn’t want to,” she cried. “I didn’t.”

Krista’s heart clenched and she felt absolutely furious at herself for her lapse in judgement. Seeing Ymir cry like this eased Krista’s worries and she wiggled herself out of their position so that she could pull Ymir down to rest against her chest. She felt Ymir’s tears wet her shirt and allowed the brunette to curl up against her.

“It’s okay Ymir,” Krista said. She ran a hand along Ymir’s back, trying not to notice how hard her shoulders were convulsing as she cried.

“I’m sorry,” Ymir repeated.

Krista wasn’t really sure what Ymir was apologising for. If anything Krista was the one that needed forgiveness. However, the blonde didn’t talk. She merely held onto Ymir as the brunette cried out her sorrow. After a while, when Ymir calmed down, Krista whispered softly to her and Ymir listened to the vibrations against her ear.

Ymir’s eye watered again. She did not want to leave. She did not want to lose Krista.

But if she didn’t go, then Krista had no future, and neither did she.

XxX

_A woman’s screams echoed in an underground cave. Around her multiple candles threw orange light against the walls. The woman had long brown hair stuck to her skin with sweat and pale skin lit up by candle light._

_The woman yelled again and pressed a hand to her swollen belly. She rested on a thin mattress atop a wooden bed. Beside her a man sat on an old stool, bent over and hands clasping her own._

_“How is it going?” he asked her._

_The woman took deep, even breaths and grunted when more pain wracked through her body. “I think it’s time,” she said in a puff of hot air._

_The man’s eyes widened and then he stood to hurry out of the enclosed space. The screams of his wife followed at his back. Standing just outside of the cave was an elderly man with no hair on his head and a long beard on his chin._

_“Jacob,” the man said. “She’s ready.”_

_Jacob nodded slightly and then put a hand atop the man’s shoulder. “You must not worry. This child will bring forth the end of the world. Screams of pain during the child’s birth will be music to its ears.”_

_The man nodded and then swallowed. “D-does my child really have to be the end?”_

_Jacob’s eyes darkened with sympathy. “You knew this when you conceived,” he warned. “This child was born for one purpose—to end it all.”_

_The freckled man nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry. She needs you, so…”_

_Jacob smiled in relief and then patted the man’s arm. “Wait here. You do not want to see the monster when it is born.”_

_“Will… will the baby really look like a monster?”_

_Jacob turned quickly. “If your wife survives birth I will be surprised.” He said nothing more and then hobbled his way inside. “Adriana, are you ready?”_

_Adriana glanced up at the man and nodded. “I have been for hours.”_

_“Then let us get this over with.”_

_After many tortured screams later, the echoed of an infant’s cries bounced along the walls. The sound drew the man in and when he noticed Jacob standing by his wife’s side he hurried to her and took her hand in his._

_“How are you feeling?” he asked._

_“Like I just gave birth to twenty babies,” she replied jokingly._

_“You did well,” Jacob said. In his arms a bundle moved._

_The man’s eyes locked onto it and he swallowed. “Is it a girl?”_

_Adriana smiled. “It is.”_

_The man sighed in utter relief. “I was so worried. If it was a boy we would have had to dispose of him and try again.”_

_Jacob rounded the bed to the man’s side. “Your efforts have been rewarded,” he said, handing the bundle over to the man._

_He glanced down at the little girl in his arms, at the wet brown hair, the swollen redness of her face and the darkness of her skin. If he didn’t know what she really was then he would have found her to be cute._

_The baby hadn’t cried since the first time after being brought into the world. She rested easily, chest lifting and falling with ease. Her hands curled and uncurled, and then her eyes opened and glanced up at the man that had fathered her._

_He saw her stare and opened his mouth in a silent scream. Black and red eyes bore up at him, filled with so much intelligence and hatred that he would have dropped the child to the floor if he hadn’t suddenly exploded into tiny bits._

_Adriana began to scream and fell from the bed. She was bleeding profusely and the wind left her lungs when she fell._

_“I gave birth to a monster!” she yelled, eyes filled with hatred towards the infant crying on the ground. She turned to find Jacob, but he had disappeared. Where he had stood a pile of ashes remained._

_Adriana understood._

_“My god, what have we done?”_

_The baby continued to cry, wailing and limbs shaking. Adriana did not spare her a glance as she crawled towards the cave entrance._

_She wouldn’t make it in time, and bled to death in the dirty soil._

Ymir’s eyes fluttered open when she felt a tickle above her eyebrow. She saw Krista leaning over her, smiling gently but eyes full of worry. The blonde was caressing her face, outlining the dips and lines of her cheeks and jaw.

“You were twitching in your sleep,” she said.

“When did I dose off?” Ymir lifted herself onto her elbows and rubbed at her sore eyes. She hadn’t intended to fall asleep.

“Only ten minutes ago,” Krista answered. “You weren’t asleep for long.”

Ymir tipped her head to the side and smiled slightly at the blonde. “Your heartbeat sent me to sleep.”

Krista smiled and placed her hand over Ymir’s. “Ymir, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

Over the past few days, after Krista finally decided that she needed to get over the past, Ymir had been treating Krista with the utmost care. They ate together on the hotel couch or bundled up in blankets. When it was dark and silent they would cuddle close together on the bed and Krista would tell Ymir of stories from her childhood.

Ymir barely dreamt anything and when she became sick Krista was quick to soothe her with a hand running through her hair. That is what they had been doing and what had lulled Ymir into sleep along with her heartbeat.

The brunette yawned and then collapsed back down onto the bed.

“Why’d you let me fall asleep?”

Krista’s smile was soft. “You looked so peaceful until something started to bother you. Was it the dream?”

Ymir’s smile turned to a frown and she roughly rubbed at her neck. “Naw. Hey, wanna get some ice-cream or something? We’ve been hauled up in here for days.”

They had barely left the room in favour of cuddling underneath blankets. It was primarily due to Krista’s fear of being around other people with Ymir, though she needed to get over it.

For a long while Krista considered it. She watched Ymir’s face as she did, and then she obviously decided that it was okay when she hopped off of the bed and nodded towards the door.

“Okay. Let’s just try to spare _some_ money. We’re running out.”

Ymir stood and then bent down to ghost her lips over Krista’s forehead. She headed for the door, hiding her frown. “That won’t be a problem.”

They left the room and headed down to the café Ymir had been to a few days before. Krista didn’t know of Ymir’s meeting with Hanji, since Ymir hadn’t told her.

“What do you want?”

Krista looked over the desert menu for a long while, thinking. “Hmm, this banana one looks really nice. But it’s so expensive.”

Ymir flagged down the waitress and then pointed to the menu. “Two of that banana thing please.”

Krista sputtered but was not in time to stop the woman from hopping off. She placed the menu on the table and then turned to regard Ymir.

“Ymir, I wasn’t joking. We really are running out of money. If we don’t cool it we’ll need to find a job to ever leave this city.”

Ymir shrugged her shoulders. “Live a little. You never know what might happen, you know.” She looked away as she said it and then folded her arms across the table. “I just want to enjoy an awesome desert with you.”

Krista didn’t like the way Ymir’s eyes looked and her heart beat uncomfortably in her chest. She rubbed at it and cleared her throat. “Okay, I guess.” What harm could it do? But Krista was determined that after this they would not buy anything expensive again.

Their deserts came and it was sweeter than Ymir had expected. The awkward silence turned into a contented one as the both of them dug into their deserts, the only sound around them being the clink of their spoons against the bowl.

Krista forgot her earlier troubles and enjoyed the absolute heaven on her taste buds. In that moment she completely forgave Ymir, and wanting to reward her, came up with an amusing idea.

“Ymir, say ah.” The blonde held her spoon out, filled with ice-cream and banana, and smiled in amusement at Ymir when the brunette lifted an eyebrow in question. “Oh come on, just eat it!” She pouted. “Please?”

Ymir sighed softly and rolled her eyes, but was secretly pleased that Krista wanted to do something like this. They hadn’t been all that fluffy in a long while and this felt somewhat familiar.

The freckled demon-born leaned forward and wrapped her lips around Krista’s spoon. She pulled the desert into her mouth and then licked the spoon as she straightened in her seat. Krista blushed and quickly scooped some more to hold it out again. This time Ymir wordlessly ate from her spoon.

They locked eyes then, flushed blue with uncertain brown. Ymir was enjoying herself, but she was scared of doing something wrong. Krista looked half frightened and half excited. A sharp blush coloured her cheeks. Ymir’s own heart was beating unevenly in her chest.

All at once the playful mood was shattered when, somewhere behind Krista, a man’s voice broke through their space.

“Gross.”

Krista stiffened when Ymir did, and the blonde’s heart began to pound for a completely different reason.

“See those ugly tattoos?” the man said to his friend. “Wouldn’t fuck her if she asked.”

Ymir knew they were talking about her. She glanced at them over Krista’s head and saw their leering gazes.

Krista began to tremble. “Ymir, let’s go.”

“What’s the hottie even doing with that shemale? Bet she’d enjoy a good fuck from a real man.”

They were whispering to each other, glancing over at Krista while they did. If they were aware that Ymir could hear them, then they showed no inclination.

Ymir’s hand tightened around the spoon between her fingers and she fixed her burning gaze on the men. Suddenly a burning desire ripped through her and flashing images burned across her eyes. She saw blood and flesh all spraying ever her face and it sent a tingle through her body.

In that instant her eyes changed to red and black and Krista’s heart leaped into her throat. She felt an intense desire to get up and run as far away as she could. Would Ymir go crazy here? What would it be like to watch her this time? Krista did not want to know. Her imagination had given her plenty of horrid images already.

“Ymir…” Krista said softly, voice shaking.

Ymir ignored her. The men finally glanced her way and noticed her stare. They also startled badly at the strangeness of her eyes, and of the pure malice in them. Ymir stood immediately, nostrils flaring. She was about to take a step away from the table but suddenly Krista shot  up too and spread her arms out between Ymir and the men.

“NO!” Krista screamed in fear. “Don’t hurt them!”

Ymir snapped out of it immediately and looked at her blonde companion. Usually she would be backing Ymir up while quietly urging her to calm down. Normally it would work and Ymir would ignore them. But now Krista was shielding them from Ymir, face open with fear and chest heaving with it. Ymir’s gut filled with pain when she saw the terror in Krista’s eyes directed at her.

Krista still feared her. Of course she still feared her. How could she not?

Ymir wordlessly left the café then, hurrying back to the hotel. As she walked into the room that they shared she began to throw her clothes and personal items into her bag. In one hand she held a phone to her ear.

“Hello?”

“I need you to come right now.”

XxX

A few hours later Krista sat quietly on the hotel couch. She had her arms wrapped around her legs that were pulled up against her chest.

How could she have done that? She had seen the hurt flash over Ymir’s face. But the memory of seeing those eyes again reminded her of the blood and malice and she had to cover her face with both hands. She hated that her memory of Ymir’s eyes now represented death in her mind.

Ymir had been silent as well. She spent a while in the bathroom when Krista had returned and then quietly tossed Krista’s bag to her.

“Wh-what are you doing?” she had asked.

“Pack. We’re leaving.” Ymir had said.

Krista had obeyed and quickly packed her bag. She neatened the room and then took to sitting, waiting since Ymir didn’t seem to be moving anytime soon. She was sitting by the table, arms crossed on top of it and head resting against them. Was she sleeping or thinking?

Krista wanted to know. She was too scared to ask. If Ymir was mad at her, if she saw anger directed at her from those eyes she couldn’t help but fear, then she wouldn’t know what to do.

Krista’s heart was breaking and she was the one doing it. A constant battle raged on in her head. She wanted so badly to reverse what had happened and to see Ymir the way she had before. She still loved Ymir. Of course she still loved her. She wanted to comfort her and stick to her side.

She had meant it when she said that she was on Ymir’s side no matter what. The only question was if Ymir would have enough patience for Krista to get over her own issues. It had been so easy up until now to look at Ymir’s anguished face and still find every bit of perfection in it. Why was she struggling now?

Reality was so much harsher than she had imagined.

There was a knock on the door, startling Krista out of her thoughts. She was surprised by it, because no one would visit them. But Ymir didn’t seem surprised. She stood and calmly made her way over to the door. Krista followed behind her.

Immense confusion and worry clouded over Krista’s face when Ymir opened the door and Nanaba stood at the other side. The tall blonde looked tired and upset. She didn’t say a word, but Krista did.

“H-how did you find us? Why are you here?”

Ymir turned to give her a look so full of sadness that Krista swallowed a sudden lump from her throat. The brunette retrieved the small blonde’s bag and then handed it over to Nanaba.

“Apologise to her parents for me.”

Krista felt confused. Were they going back? What was Nanaba even doing here?

“Y-Ymir? If you wanted to go back you could have just—”

“I never said that I’m coming with you,” Ymir stated softly. She looked at Krista and didn’t even flinch at the hurt she saw there.

“You called Nanaba to take me back?” Ymir nodded. “But why?” There was no response. “Ymir!” Krista rushed to Ymir’s side and clutched at her shirt. “What happened to us not leaving each other? Where will you go? I don’t want to leave you!”

“You are scared of me.”

Nanaba’s eyes widened slightly by the doorway but she did not comment. More than anything she wanted to yell at Ymir to come back too, but she couldn’t. Ymir wouldn’t come with and she knew that. The brunette had warned her not to even ask. Nanaba had already informed Krista’s parents that she had gone to fetch her. They were beyond relieved.

“I… I am!” Krista admitted. “But it’s okay! I said I’m on your side. I’ll get over it! How can you even think of getting me to leave you? Who else do you have? You need me Ymir.” _I need you. I can’t be without you. Please, don’t do this._

“Krista…” Nanaba spoke gently from the doorway. “Ymir has made her choice. Please come with me. Your parents are worried sick.”

Krista ignored Nanaba. Instead she stared at Ymir who was staring right back. The brunette looked sad, defeated.

“Ymir, please. Please don’t do this. We can work everything out together. Don’t get rid of me.” Krista’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you, doesn’t that mean anything?”

Suddenly Ymir lifted her arm and placed a hand atop Krista’s head. The action halted Krista’s tears and pleas. _Be yourself for once. Be you without me,_ she thought.

“Goen’a,” is what she said.

Krista didn’t understand the language. She didn’t know what it meant. All she could understand was that it was the last thing Ymir would say to her and her chest tightened. Ymir was looking at her with so much sadness. Ymir looked lost—like she had just given away the last bit of her light.

“Take her,” Ymir said to Nanaba. She turned her back when Nanaba obeyed and quickly wrapped her arms around Krista’s chest. Luckily the smaller blonde was exactly that—small. She was light enough to completely lift off of the ground, and even though she started to kick and scream, Nanaba held on tight. She spared a single glance towards Ymir and then carried Krista to her car.

“Ymir, you promised!” Krista yelled between sobs. “You said you’d stay!”

Ymir laughed once and then she kicked the door shut behind her. She could feel Krista’s anguished and betrayed cries reverberate through her entire body.

“Goodbye Krista,” Ymir whispered to herself. “Maybe one day we can meet again and stand side-by-side, worthy of each other.”

Tears streaked across her face and Ymir collapsed against the ground. Her marks began to ache, as well as her heart, and a stream of blood dripped from her chin. It mingled with her tears.

_This is the only way,_ she told herself. _Krista needs to define herself without me. I need to function on my own. I’ll only hurt her._

It would be a while until she fully believed it.

XxX

It took a solid three days for Ymir to eventually build up the nerve to leave the hotel room and check out. During the entire time she had second guessed her decision and had even almost called Nanaba back to request that she return and fetch her too, or bring Krista back. When she had been close to calling Ymir smashed the phone to stop herself.

Hanji’s note hung heavily on her conscience and it was the only thing keeping her emotions in check. She focused on the fact that there was a possible solution to her problems. If this person could really solve her issues then she could return to Krista as a normal person.

Ymir followed the note and was too distracted by her thoughts to really realize that it was the same place as in her dream. She found herself lost in the mall and eventually had to follow the scent. It was only when she stepped in the plaza and caught sight of a woman that looked like Hanji that she froze in absolute terror.

Ymir glanced down at her wrist. The marks were there, she was at the right location during the right time of day. She even had the same note as in her dream, and just like the recent one had foretold, she was alone.

How had Ymir not noticed?

Ymir tried to turn and run back the way she came, but the black mass flashed past her like it had in her dreams and the nightmare was becoming a reality. Ymir felt the sharp prick of a needle stabbing into her heart and injecting something lethal into her veins. It was this that ceased her heart and caused her to fall.

The brunette couldn’t stop herself from falling and shut her eyes before she even hit the ground.

This was it. Whatever that person had done to her would trigger the end of mankind and Ymir would destroy everything. For the first time in three days Ymir was glad for her decision to send Krista away, and then she coughed up large amounts of blood and waited for the pain of hitting the floor.

It didn’t come, and Ymir felt the prick of another needle, this one larger. A new substance filled her veins and arms circled her body.

“Shit,” the person said. “They got here first. I’m so sorry Ymir. Just hang in there; I’m getting you out of here.”

Ymir’s body convulsed as whatever had been forced into her body waged a war for control. She felt blood fill her mouth and was glad that the person tipped her head to the side to drain it. Before she could feel the soft leather of a car seat against her cheek, Ymir’s mind blanked and her body went still.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter V

**V**

* * *

 

There was an irritating sensation prickling along her body, starting at her arm. When Ymir came to she was disorientated, in pain. She struggled to breathe and heard the rasps of her own breath.

Was she dead? Was this the dark abyss of her lost mind, forced to endure eons as her outer shell wreaked havoc upon the modern world?

It was dark, that much was definite—quiet. For once there were no nightmares of what was to come. Ymir felt oddly at ease, and she decided that if this was either death or the cage of her mind, then it felt a hell of a lot better than reality. But that was only her mind.

Meanwhile her body fought a raging war.

Ymir had no idea where she was. She attempted to move but it proved fruitless. Her body felt heavy, like her bones themselves weighed a ton. She opened her mouth, trying to speak. Barely a sound left her lips, but there was a flurry of activity around her and then she felt a hand press to her forehead.

All at once Ymir realized that she was neither dead nor suspended in her subconscious. This realization sent a crippling fear down her spine. Firstly, what had been done to her and where had she been taken? The most frightening of her situation was that she could barely move. This left her too vulnerable.

Ymir began to panic and she felt hot fire surge through her veins as her heart rate rose and she struggled.

“Ymir, calm down,” someone calmly said to her side. The voice was gentle and smooth, the timbre husky and drowned out by Ymir’s own panic. It sounded familiar yet it did not calm her racing heart. “Damnit Ymir, calm down or you’ll kill yourself!”

There was complete honesty and worry there, which abated Ymir’s utter panic for now. She still continued struggling, fingers insistently twitching.

The person sighed. “Look, relax for now. Go back to sleep. The drugs are still fighting inside of you and it will be painful. I have someone on the way, someone that can stop this war inside of your body. If you go back to sleep they’ll be back when you wake. Can you do that?”

Ymir tried to open her eyes. Her eyelids felt heavy, like she’d never opened them before and never would again. It was a scary sensation, but with a heavy struggle Ymir managed to force them open a crack. Her vision was bleary and not nearly clear enough to make out the face in front of her. All she could see was a mesh of brown colours.

“Wh…” Ymir’s voice sounded like a croak, her throat dry. She licked the inside of her mouth and would have cringed if she could—her mouth tasted stale and felt numb, filled with cotton.

“Here,” the person softly said. The tone set Ymir’s panic further to ease. She felt an arm slip underneath her shoulders and startled slightly when she was lifted. Coldness touched her lips and then she realized that it was a glass. The glass tipped slowly and heavenly liquid pressed against Ymir’s lips. She opened them and relished in the water washing the sour taste from her mouth, as well as the cotton dryness. “Alright, go back to sleep. It’ll get better, I promise.” The person put the glass down and then gingerly rested Ymir back down. They gently caressed Ymir’s cheek and sighed. “I still can’t believe after all this time…” the person left the sentence hanging and stood.

Ymir suddenly felt like she knew the voice, so she forced her eyes open again and willed her vision to clear. Her eyes attempted to focus on the form of the person standing nearby. Ymir could make out a faint profile, but it was enough to make the rest of her fears fade.

“Hanji…” Ymir managed to rasp before she succumbed to the pounding of her head and fell back into the nothingness.

XxX

When she woke again, as Hanji had promised, she could move. Most of the awful sensations had faded. Ymir’s mouth still felt dry but no longer numb, and the prickle along her skin had dwindled significantly. She still felt like shit, but a lot less shit.

The room was quiet except for the soft footsteps to Ymir’s left. Now that she had some of her strength back Ymir managed to get herself sitting up, and blinked her eyes open. She had to rub them with a fist a few times, and then she sat up completely and kept a firm hand on the back of the couch that she had apparently been half dead on all this time.

A look out the window indicated that it was pitch black outside—midnight? How long had she been out?

Ymir found a fresh glass of water on the table beside her and quickly downed it. When she was done she noticed Hanji staring at her.

“Feeling better?” the brunette woman asked.

Ymir nodded lamely and then put the glass back down on the table. She attempted to stand, but Hanji had to rush to her side before she fell and cracked her head open.

“Whoa, you won’t really be able to walk for a while. Just sit for now until our guest arrives.”

“What happened?” Ymir’s voice, unlike earlier, was clearer and firmer. It still sounded strained, but not as much. This made Ymir feel better.

Hanji chuckled and then plopped down beside Ymir. She stretched her arms above her head and yawned, limbs clicking into place. She sighed after dropping her arms to her sides. Ymir noticed the circles underneath her eyes, and they were made more obvious when the woman removed her glasses to rub at her eyes. She was tired.

“It’s a long story Ymir,” Hanji said. “I think I should wait for our guest. She should be here really soon.” Hanji glanced down at her watch. “Actually, I expected her to be here already.” She grinned and then shook her head. “Do you need anything? The bathroom? Food?”

Ymir rubbed a shaky hand over her face and shook her head. At the moment she just felt tired, but the thought of sleeping again wasn’t all that appealing. More than anything she wanted to understand what had happened and what had been done to her. It hadn’t even occurred to Ymir that she should be upset. For now all she could feel was relief that she was still alive and that Hanji still seemed like a friendly. But then she suddenly remembered something.

“It was you!” She scrambled away, as much as she could, and pointed an unsteady finger. “You… you told me to meet you and then you did something.” She pressed a hand to her heart and remembered the pain of a needle piercing it. The feeling afterwards had been beyond awful. “What did you do to me?”

Hanji shook her head. “That wasn’t me,” she said levelly. “It was… it’ll be too long to explain it. Just wait a little longer and then I can go into full detail. Ymir, do you want to know who you really are? What you really are? Who you belong to?”

Ymir’s brows furrowed. “What… who I belong to?”

Hanji chuckled. “A strange way to word it, I know.” She stood and went over to the kitchen counter where she had been before noticing Ymir had awakened. The kettle was already boiled so she poured a cup of coffee for herself and Ymir. When she sat beside the teen again and offered the mug, Ymir only stared at it.

“Oh come on, it’s just coffee. You’ll need it. We have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.”

Ymir eyed Hanji and the mug carefully, and then she took it and whispered a ‘thanks’. Her mind wouldn’t stop racing, thinking about her dream and how it had almost come true. Nothing made sense. Everything from when Krista had left had stopped making sense.

Suddenly thinking of Krista dampened Ymir’s mood and she frowned down into the brown murkiness of her coffee. Had it really been a good idea?

“It was the right choice,” Hanji spoke up carefully, as if she had read Ymir’s mind—she hadn’t, but she had seen the brunette’s sudden heartbroken expression. “The way you are now Ymir, there is no way you won’t kill her in your rage. She will do better away from you for now. I think you need a break too.” Hanji readjusted her glasses. “From what I observed you had a very unhealthy relationship with each other. Dependence is not a pretty thing with young and fragile relationships.”

Ymir felt mad. “I don’t need you lecturing me,” she growled. Of all the things she did not want Hanji to say these things to her. She wasn’t even sure if Hanji was an enemy yet. Was there really a person on their way? Who was it and why was Hanji adamant about waiting for them? It sounded and felt suspicious and if Ymir had the strength she would have bolted for the window already.

Hanji sipped thoughtfully on her coffee, and then there was sudden banging on the door and the specialist physically startled.

“Hanji open this damn door right this goddamn minute or I’ll rip it off its hinges!” someone yelled from the other side. The tone sounded hurried and upset and a sinking feeling filled Ymir’s stomach.

Hanji cast Ymir a look and then she went over to the door. Not even a second after opening the door a large, lanky figure burst in and suddenly Hanji was lifted from the floor and slammed into the door, now shut behind her. Hanji didn’t look scared at all.

“Where is she?” the person demanded, chest heaving.

Ymir was watching with worry and she quickly put the cup down on the table. She managed to stand and backed away until the window where she gripped onto the curtain and waited. Ymir suddenly felt sick.

Hanji merely lifted an arm and pointed right at Ymir. “She’s there. Calm down. See? You scared her already.”

Hanji was dropped back onto her feet and then the stranger turned suddenly.

Ymir had never felt so disoriented in her entire life, not even like she had earlier. The face staring at her now, it was… it was almost identical to her own. How was this possible? How could this person look so much like her?

The woman stood tall and proud, shoulders set back and head held high. Though her chest still heaved, she looked more shocked now than anything. Her deeply tanned skin paled and she looked like a deer caught in headlights. Ymir must have looked the same way, and Hanji wanted to laugh when she noted that the both of them looked as if they wanted to bolt from the room.

“Is this really her?” the woman asked.

Hanji grabbed at her hair and groaned. “For god’s sake Amir, look at her! If she had your black hair she’d be your clone!”

The woman, now identified as Amir, sent a cold stare over to Hanji. “Fuck you!” she suddenly yelled. “You fucking found her and you send me all the way to goddamn nowhere? How long has it been since you knew, huh?”

Hanji had the decency to look guilty. “About three weeks, at most.”

Amir’s face flushed with anger. “You…” she swallowed her words and then took deep, even breaths. “I will forgive you in light of finding her. If you’d let her get away….” The sentence was left hanging, and Hanji clearly understood the threat.

“Okay, I get it! Chill out. Now please, introduce yourself to Ymir because she looks really sick right now.”

Amir turned sharply and the colour drained from her face. Ymir’s eyes were changing and she was struggling with her body. In her fear she had instinctively attempted to defend herself by changing, and now her horns were breaking skin and she felt the blood climbing her throat.

“Wh-what do I do?” Amir shouted, panicked.

“Go to her!” Hanji yelled backed. She seemed exasperated enough to slap the woman upside the head. “Jesus, you’re just like each other! There is absolutely no way that Ymir isn’t the right one.”

Amir swallowed nervously and then she walked over towards Ymir, hands in front of her. She still looked pale, exhausted and unsure and it made Ymir panic. However, something in those familiar brown eyes stilled her heart and even if she wanted to she wouldn’t have been able to move.

“Um…” Amir paused in front of her, so unsure that it was becoming painful. Instead of speaking further she lifted a hand and gently touched Ymir’s face. Both of them startled and Amir seemed shocked at the warmth underneath her fingertips. Emotions suddenly washed over her face—elation and relief and sorrow. “It…” Amir said. “It’s really you…” Her hard eyes welled up, and then heavy tears streaked over her freckled cheeks. Suddenly she was hugging Ymir, sobbing against her shoulder and clutching tightly to her body.

Ymir didn’t understand why, but her changing stopped and her body relaxed. Instead of struggling out of the hold she relaxed into it.

“This is…” Amir gasped out between sobs. “Only the second time that I’ve held you since you were born,” she said. The tears came harder now and Hanji was forced to pull her away and force Amir to sit down on the couch, least she make them tip over and fall.

Ymir still stood by the curtains, face contorted in confusion. Her heart was thudding, and she had yet to understand why.

“Get a hold of yourself,” Hanji advised. “We need to explain things to her.”

“You’re such an insensitive bastard, you know that?” Amir growled at her. “I finally find my daughter and you tell me to _get a hold of myself_?” Amir shook her head and then wiped the tears from her face.

Ymir’s entire body felt like it had drained of warmth. It felt numb and frozen, and then all at once feeling came rushing back and Ymir stumbled. She slid down onto the floor, staring at her bare feet.

What the hell was going on? Her chest swelled and ached and then anger began to climb up her spine and she had fucking enough.

“Can you,” Ymir started, sitting up, “Please do me the honour,” she continued, now onto her knees, “of fucking explaining,” she then stumbled back onto her feet and approached the two on the couch. “What the fuck is fucking going on?!” she roared. The fire burnt as deep red and black in her eyes and Ymir bared her teeth threateningly.

“First,” she continued. “You approach me after I fucking massacre six innocent people and then you give me this stupid idea of leaving Krista. Do you realize what I did? I fucking left her. I sent her back like I don’t need her anymore!” Ymir’s chest began to ache further. “She… she was the only thing that kept this monster inside of me from destroying everything! And now you’re here talking nonsense and people are injecting shit into my body?”

The anger was maddening. Ymir felt the urge to break something, so she bounded forward and then flipped the couch that wasn’t occupied. She growled demonically and then went for the table, but powerful arms encircled her and she couldn’t move.

“Calm down,” a voice spoke into her ear. It was absurd how quickly Ymir’s anger disappeared in the wake of that voice. “Hanji, what the hell happened?” Amir stared over Ymir’s bowed head at Hanji. She could feel the smaller brunette tremble in her arms.

Hanji rubbed at her brow. “Well you see, a lot. I was about to explain it. Actually, take a seat and let’s tell Ymir everything. Please? I haven’t slept in three days and I’m ready to collapse at any second.”

Amir acquiesced and guided Ymir towards the couch. She carefully let her sit and then took a seat beside her. Ymir made no move to speak or move. Her marks were beginning to ache and she suddenly felt a deep urge to throw up. Her body was reacting to her anger again, and she wasn’t sure how bad it would be this time.

“Okay, where shall we start?” Hanji asked. No one answered so she sighed. “Amir I think you should explain the beginning and I’ll take over.”

Amir seemed nervous but she accepted with a nod and then scooted to the edge of the couch and turned her body towards Ymir. She resisted the urge to grin at the similar face looking wearily at her. Those eyes had just as much fire.

“18 years ago,” Amir began. “I was gifted with the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. She was planned, of course. I remember how excited I was when I found out that my wife was pregnant. We were such saps back then.” Ymir’s throat felt tight but she continued to listen. “When my daughter was born, it was during the night-time. We had to find a secure location for the birth, but it wasn’t secure enough.” Sudden, deep sadness overtook Amir’s eyes and she had to pause before she could carry on. “After being born I held her,” she said and held her hands out as if she was holding an infant. “She was so small. She wouldn’t stop crying. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I cried with her for ten minutes straight when I held her.” Amir smiled fondly at the memory. “That was the first time I ever held my child, and then she was snatched from me.” A dark, murderous look crossed her face and that was apparently Hanji’s cue to talk.

“If you haven’t guessed yet, you’re that child Ymir.” Hanji gestured towards Amir. “That is your biological parent; your father, to be exact.”

Ymir looked pale but she merely nodded, wanting the story to continue.

“As Amir said, you were snatched twenty minutes after you were born. Now, I need to explain the history of our bloodline before explaining who was behind your kidnapping. Or else it won’t make sense.

“See, we are demons. That much you know. We are just normal creatures like the rest, though we have two forms. Every tenth generation one is born of the Lucifarian bloodline and holds the astounding ability to end the world. The thing is, there is no rule that this child _must_ bring about the end. She can have her power sealed from birth and live an entirely normal life. Some tenth-born weren’t even aware of being the most powerful demon in ten generations.

“It is only one specific bloodline that carries that gene, and Amir just so happens to be the ninth descendant. That makes you, Ymir, the tenth. Therefore you were born with more power than your body can handle. The plan was to use Amir’s blood to seal up your power. Amir, show her your marks.”

Amir wordlessly obeyed and lifted her shirt. There, right where her heart was a small mark sat. It was similar to Ymir’s, but much, much tinier. There were only five black veins that extended on her skin, and each was only a centimetre long. Ymir’s eyes widened when she saw it.

“Each Lucifarian descendant bares the mark. This is how we know. You have it since birth. Now, there is a group of us demons that have grown rather cynical in the last ten generations. They started a group called the Illuminus, where they plan to unleash the ultimate demon on the world to destroy it. This is you. When you were born a group of demons ambushed us. I tried to get you back but they were too organized and we were too caught off-guard. They were gone. We followed their trail for days but then it suddenly vanished. We had no idea what they intended to do with you, but the main idea was obvious.” Hanji reached over to pat Amir on the shoulder.

“Amir and Damian, your mother, were devastated. I don’t think Damian spoke for a full month after that.”

Amir nodded solemnly. “Not even to me. She let me comfort her, but would never speak. It was a mission to get her to talk.”

“So the three of us have spent eighteen years searching for you, Ymir. Where were you all this time? What did you go through?”

Ymir swallowed and nervously glanced from Amir to Hanji. This was all entirely too much to take in. This was her real parent? Her father? It made no real sense yet and would take a while to really sink in for Ymir. For now she just allowed the information to set and then she would feel the emotions later.

“Um,” she spoke, unsure. Should she share her past with these two? Was it wise? She had no other choice, really, and no other option. Amir’s imploring gaze also guided her towards deciding that she could tell them.

A large part of Ymir was flabbergasted. She wanted to laugh in their face and hop off back to Krista. The other part desperately wanted this person to be her parent. During her entire childhood Ymir had always yearned for her parents. She had always wondered where they were. For the youngest of her days she had never held a heavy anger towards them, but then as she grew older and the troubles of her blood bore down on her, she began to feel hatred towards the parents that she could only see in her imagination.

_Why did they throw me away?_

It was a question Ymir had always asked herself until she stopped caring.

Finally, after a long while of deliberation, Ymir shrugged and then gripped the fabric of her pants between her fingers. She inhaled tightly, and then spoke after her exhale.

“Apparently I was found in a dumpster by a group of teenagers in Malia. I was taken to a hospital and then put into foster care. When I was four I was adopted for the first time, but I started to change and I was quickly dropped back into the system. For years it went like that until eventually, when I entered highschool I was adopted into a normal family. They were told that I have mental problems, but they took me in anyway. I lived with them until I left with Krista a few weeks ago. Everything went to shit after that.”

It wasn’t as detailed an explanation as the two adults had wanted, but it would do.

Amir was visibly shaking and she had to resist the urge to rampage like Ymir had done earlier. She felt such intense sorrow and grief that her own baby had to go through so much suffering.

“I’m sorry,” Amir muttered. She turned her face to Ymir, eyes full of tears again. “We had never wanted anything more than we wanted you. Having you was the best decision we had ever made. We never intended for you to go through all of this. Please believe me, Ymir. I’ve been searching so long just to be able to hold you again.” She hiccupped and then pressed her hands against her face. “Your childhood has been robbed from me—your first word, first walk. I was not there to comfort you or read you stories at night.” She seemed so choked up that Hanji awkwardly laid down on top of her bent form and stroked her back.

“Amir, you’re breaking down in front of Ymir.”

“It’s okay,” Ymir said softly.

Amir shook Hanji off and then chuckled. “I never imagined that you would look so much like me.” She reached out and ruffled Ymir’s short brown hair. “But you have your mother’s brown hair, and her nose.” Amir smiled genuinely for the first time since stepping through the door. “Your skin isn’t as dark as mine,” she observed. “But damn we could be twins.”

Ymir couldn’t warm up to the lighter mood. She felt sick to her stomach. Her mind was racing, as was her heart.

“Um,” she spoke up. “Is there somewhere I can throw up?”

Amir’s eyes filled with concern. “What’s wrong?”

Ymir waved her hand and sighed. “When I get angry my body reacts by losing a lot of blood. I puke it all up. Actually, I’m gonna—” Ymir couldn’t control it and bent over to spill blood all over the floor in front of her. Her body convulsed and tears collected at her eyes.

“I think that’s enough information for now,” Hanji said. “She should get some rest before we perform the ritual.”

Amir nodded and pressed a hand to Ymir’s back. She felt helpless, like she had eighteen years ago. It was still such a shock for her to compare that crying, adorable infant to this grown, troubled teenager in front of her.

It hurt so badly.

“Come here.” Amir pulled Ymir into her arms and then she stood. Blood still spilled from the brunette’s mouth and she attempted to struggle.

“No, the blood—”

“I don’t care,” Amir said with determination. “I owe you everything for the suffering you’ve endured. A little blood is nothing.”

Ymir coughed violently and clutched at Amir’s shirt. She couldn’t stop herself from pressing her face to the woman’s chest and inhaling her scent. It eased the pain.

Amir placed Ymir down on the bed after carrying her into the nearest room and then she pressed a hand to her forehead. “Shit, your temperature is high. Hanji! Can you get a cloth and some cold water in here?”

Hanji popped into the room, items already in her hands. “I’m ahead of you. Need any help?” She placed the objects on the bedside table and then leaned into Amir.

“No, I’ll take over. She’s my kid.”

Hanji smiled and then she yawned. “Wake me if anything happens. When morning comes we can perform the ritual and seal this power once and for all. Before those Illuminus idiots show up.” Hanji waved over her shoulder and then disappeared from the room.

Silence fell over them, only broken by Ymir’s laboured breathing and the sound of the cloth dipping into cold water. Ymir was grateful for the coolness against her skin, and she was suddenly reminded of when Krista had done this for her. Her heart hurt.

Ymir tried to move away and swatted Amir’s hand away from her face. “No,” she said. “You don’t have to help me.”

Amir frowned and then dropped the cloth into the bowl. “I’m sorry. This is a lot for you to take in, isn’t it?” Ymir’s only response was a nod. “I always imagined this going differently… Jesus, I’m so fucking awkward that it isn’t even funny.”

Ymir shifted slightly. “Are you really my father?”

Amir gently pulled Ymir over onto her back. “Last time I checked, yeah. Have you seen my face? It’s like Hanji says.” She stood and forced Ymir into a sitting position. “Come on, get out of this. It’s full of blood.” She pulled the shirt off, receiving no resistance, and then paused when she noticed the marks. Amir suddenly dropped the shirt and then she ran a finger over the marks above Ymir’s heart. “How is this even possible…?”

Ymir felt shy and angry, humiliated and embarrassed all at once. “What?” she asked harshly.

Amir climbed onto the bed beside her and pressed a hand against her back by a collection of black veins. “By the looks of it, those people from Illuminus did something to you when they took you. The marks are never supposed to grow this much. They’d grow larger than mine for you, yeah, but not this much. Mine took until I hit twenty to finish developing.”

Ymir’s eyes burnt. She was so tired. She was tired of being tired. This new information felt like more added to the heap. “Meaning?”

“Meaning that something has been going on with your body for a long time. This isn’t natural. I’ll get Hanji on it tomorrow. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

Amir grimaced. “I’ll have to get used to you swearing.”

Ymir managed a dry laugh. “I won’t stop swearing for you. I don’t even know you.”

Amir paused suddenly and stared down at her lap. “I know. I hope we can get to know each other, though. I want to know who my daughter grew into. I still love you. I’ve loved you since before you were born, and I still do now.”

Amir’s touch on Ymir’s shoulder was filled with so much warmth. It reminded Ymir of the warmth Krista often gave her. The sensation this time was stronger and more consuming.

Ymir collapsed on the bed and then curled into a ball. “I don’t know what to make of what you told me. But can you really fix me?”

Amir scratched her cheek. “We can. The ritual won’t take more than ten minutes. Go to sleep and tomorrow we’ll sort it out. Will you be okay until then?”

Ymir nervously nodded. Amir felt like she wasn’t needed, so she decided to leave the room with a heavy heart. She was surprised when a hand grabbed a hold of her sleeve instead.

“Could you stay?” Ymir asked softly. “Not because I believe you’re my father, but… I could puke in my sleep or something.”

Amir grinned when she realized that Ymir had inherited her lying skills from her; which meant that they were non-existent.

“Sure, yeah.” Amir was more than eager to re-join Ymir’s side and then retrieve the cloth to run it over her shoulder. “You’re safe now, Ymir. I promise it. When you wake up we’ll fix everything.”

Ymir wanted so badly to believe it and she fell asleep with absolutely no dreams; a welcomed change for once.

XxX

Ymir woke many hours later. The sun had already broken through the sky and sunlight now poured into the room. Sprawled out on the bed, Ymir lifted her head and glanced out of the window. When she woke she had been confused, but then she remembered everything and an unsettling weight pulled her heart down.

Thinking of Amir made Ymir frown.

How was she supposed to handle all of this? Her mind and heart were struggling. Her heart wanted to believe while her mind argued against it. In the end Ymir sighed and ran a hand over her face. She would have to allow her thoughts to settle another time. For now, while she was still feeling relatively okay, she should focus on finding the two adults and getting them to seal her power. If they could really do it then Ymir would consider everything Amir had said to her.

She did not want her life to become more complicated than it already was, though she felt that in the end she would have no choice.

Ymir stumbled out of the bedroom with dishevelled hair. She ran a hand through it and nervously ventured down the hallway. The lounge was empty but sounds emanated from the kitchen, so Ymir headed there.

Standing by the stove was Amir, with an apron around her front and a spatula in her hand. Hanji sat by the table with a newspaper in her hands, glasses perched on her nose and a frown on her lips. She smiled when she noticed Ymir and set the paper down on the table. Amir was humming something under her breath.

“What is that?” Ymir asked before saying anything else. She couldn’t understand it, but whatever Amir was humming felt familiar. Was it maybe a song she’d heard on the radio? It was bothering her.

Amir, unsurprised with Ymir’s arrival, glanced over her shoulder with furrowed brows. “What?”

“That song you’re humming,” Ymir supplied. She felt the urge to bite her tongue in irritation. “What song is it?”

Amir barked a laugh. “Something I wrote when I was about your age. I could play the piano, you know.” The black-haired woman suddenly paused. “I used to play for your mother when she was pregnant with you.”

Ymir felt uncomfortable and shifted her weight onto the front of her feet. “Oh,” she said. She did not allude to the fact that she recognized it and simply went to sit by Hanji. “So when do we fix me?”

Amir sighed heavily and continued being the cook. “You aren’t broken,” she said. “The power you have is rightfully yours by birth. It’s just too dangerous right now. I spoke to Hanji about your marks and she wants to test your blood before we perform the ritual.” She plated something and then turned with three plates expertly balanced on her arms. When she placed one down in front of Hanji, the brunette woman leaned forward and grinned at Ymir. Her eyes looked half crazed.

“They must’ve injected you with the same stuff that they did yesterday. You are not supposed to feel sick or vomit blood. I need to first see what they did to you and then come up with a way to get rid of it. Only then, when we know your life isn’t in any danger, we can perform the ritual and seal your power.”

Ymir glanced down at her plate. It was filled with flapjacks coated in syrup. They looked delicious and suddenly Ymir’s stomach growled.

“How long will it take?”

Hanji chewed on her food carefully. “Shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours. Could be more depending on what they put inside you.”

Amir watched their exchange carefully. “Do you think whatever they did is irreversible?” she asked, her voice filled with worry. Her gaze echoed even more.

Ymir sent her a glance and couldn’t help the warmth that washed over her. She suddenly felt cared for, and it was as odd as it was sudden. Even though the person seated beside her, despite sharing a startling resemblance, was a stranger, she felt oddly connected to her. It was almost as if Ymir knew her personally.

“Honestly? It shouldn’t be, but my tests will tell us all we need to know.”

“When we’re ready,” Amir said to Hanji. “We should head out for Anna.”

Ymir’s fork suddenly dropped to her plate. “What? That’s at the tip of the country!”

Amir grinned. “Did I mention you coming with?” She seemed greatly pleased that the smaller brunette had assumed so.

Ymir suddenly flushed and swallowed. “N-no… I just… what if the ritual fucks up or something?” She stared down hard at her half eaten food. “I’d have no one else to help me.”

Hanji clucked her tongue. “Amir, stop giving her a hard time.”

Amir laughed and then ruffled Ymir’s hair. “You will come with us Ymir. We have to find your mother and teach you how to control your other form.”

Ymir growled in annoyance and leaned away from the large hand messing her hair.  “Stop doing that!”

Amir rolled her eyes. “It’s a gesture of affection.”

“I don’t even know you!” She suddenly stood from her chair and glared straight at Hanji. “I don’t know either of you. For all I know you’re both lying and I’m sending myself to the slaughter house!”

Regret filled her chest; painful regret crushing down on her heart. She should never have left Malia, should never have left Krista. Suddenly all that she wanted was to see Krista and to hear her voice. Was she okay? Had she gotten into trouble when she arrived at home?

Amir’s chair clattered to the ground as she stood. She stormed over to a drawer, pulled something out and then stopped in front of Ymir.

Ymir’s heart lurched in panic when she saw the shine of a kitchen knife, but then she sputtered when it was thrust into her hand and Amir forced Ymir to hold the blade to her throat.

“Under the proud name of Amir, I swear to you that all I have said is nothing but the truth. You are my daughter, Ymir. I have been searching for you all your life. Now that I found you, I want to bring you back to your mother so that we can finally be the family that we dreamed of. Look into my eyes and if you see just a glimmer of mistruth, then cut my throat right now. If I’m lying, then you have the right to take my life.”

Her eyes were now like a shimmering pool of desperate black and red. It was the first time Ymir had ever seen anything other than rage in demon eyes. How was it possible to look so gentle with the colours of death?

Amir let Ymir’s hand go and spread her arms out to her sides. She stared deeply into Ymir’s eyes, begging her to believe. She was so frightened that this chance would slip through her fingers and the child she had yearned for, for such a long time would want nothing to do with her.

 _What will it take?_ Amir thought. _What will it take for you to see me as your father?_

Hanji watched the drama unfold without saying a word. She knew Amir’s tendency to be overdramatic, but she felt that this was something that Ymir needed. The teen had to decide if she wanted to stay and believe them or leave thinking they were liars.

Ymir’s own eyes clouded over. She felt her marks begin to burn but she did not lower the knife. It took all of her willpower not to look to the ground to avoid Amir’s open gaze. There was nothing but hope there; love and understanding and sadness. Amir was being truthful. There was no way she was lying. Ymir could see it, but still she tried to deny it in her heart.

Hesitantly, Ymir dropped her hand and then let the knife fall to the ground. She allowed her emotions to sweep her up and clenched her fist hard to slam it against Amir’s chest.

“My whole life,” she said shakily, “I felt unwanted and useless.” She pounded Amir’s chest again. “I thought my parents had abandoned me.” Her teeth clenched. “Other kids made fun of my height and intimidating appearance. I hated my parents for the genes that they gave me.” Tears built at the corner of her eyes and she sucked in a deep breath. Now she clenched both hands and pounded them against Amir’s chest. “Why didn’t you find me sooner?! Why did I have to feel like a fucking failure for simply breathing?!” This time the tears spilled over and dripped from her chin. “Where were you when I cried myself to sleep at night?”

Amir finally stopped Ymir’s frenzied fists by catching them. She had her own tears pouring down her face. With a shuddering breath she pulled Ymir against her and wrapped her in the tightest hug she could.

“I’ll tell you where I was,” she said. “I was using every resource I had to track that group down. I was driving to every damn town that had the slightest lead. I was leaving my devastated wife to search for my child. When I gave up a year into it, we decided to try again. I was desperate to fill the void but we were not as lucky a second time. Our kind is only allowed one child. Yet we still tried. Eventually we gave up too, and my wife left me to search for you. While she was gone, while you cried, I spent endless hours looking for you. I was using all the energy I had to locating my goddamn daughter so that I could just hold her one more time. So that I could see that beautiful brown gaze and feel those small hands wrap around my finger.”

Ymir choked on her tears. Never had she felt such intense emotion before. She felt embarrassed about her tears and hid them by pressing her face against Amir’s chest.

“I always thought about you. I wrote letters for you. I sent out silent prayers to you. I hoped with all my heart that I would find you.” Amir pulled Ymir in even tighter and sniffed loudly when she felt Ymir grab a hold of her shirt. “I’m so fucking sorry for failing you like I did.” Her tears became trembles in her voice. “I’m so sorry for everything. I vow to make it up to you. If you tell me to take my life right now to compensate, I’d do it without hesitation.”

Ymir managed to snort. “Are you always this dramatic?” Her voice was muffled by Amir’s dampened t-shirt.

Amir laughed through her tears. “Damian finds it endearing.”

“My mother sounds as crazy as you,” Ymir admitted quietly.

Amir felt pleased that she had said that. “Do you think you could give your failure of a father a chance?”

Ymir pulled away from her embrace and wiped at her face. She ignored the sniffling from Hanji. Clearing her throat, Ymir shrugged. “Whatever,” she said. “I have nothing to lose.”

Amir’s face brightened. She straightened proudly and then used her shirt to wipe at her face. After regaining her cool, Amir put a hand on Ymir’s head and smiled down at her.

“I hope that we can get along.”

Ymir stared up at her, feeling uncharacteristically small and vulnerable under Amir’s strong gaze. Even after crying, her eyes—now normal—still retained a strength that Ymir had never seen before.

“Can we get to the testing, please?” Ymir said to change the focus of the moment.

Hanji hopped to her feet and sneakily wiped her tears. “Yes, of course! I will just need a blood sample.” She headed to the lounge with the other two at her back and then pulled her suitcase from out of nowhere. After opening it she removed a syringe and a pair of gloves, and then quickly took a sample of Ymir’s blood.

“There we go,” she said, glancing at the crimson liquid. “I’ll head to my room to start running tests. Keep yourselves busy until I’m done.” She cackled and then grabbed her suitcase and hurried into one of the bedrooms down the hall. The door slammed behind her and Amir and Ymir were left awkwardly sitting in the lounge.

Ymir pressed a finger to the cotton over the puncture wound and sighed. She was starting to get a headache.

“Wanna go out and get some ice-cream?”

Ymir turned her head and regarded Amir. The woman had a mischievous smile. Ymir sighed.

“Sure.”

They left the apartment, which Ymir found out belonged to Hanji, and Amir drove them to the nearest ice-cream store. When they parked in front of a Milky Way, Ymir wordlessly left the car and didn’t wait for the older woman to catch up before she entered the store.

Amir felt slight irritation at being ignored. She sighed deeply and rubbed at her temple, and then she told Ymir to sit down while she got the snacks for them. Of course Ymir obeyed wordlessly and went to the seat farthest away from the entrance.

While looking over the large menu on the wall, Amir’s phone vibrated in her pocket. It meant only one thing, so the black haired woman fumbled to rip the phone from her jeans pocket and then quickly pressed it to her ear.

“Yes?”

“Amir! Thank god. I tried your other number but it wasn’t working and I was getting worried.”

Amir chuckled lightly. “Sorry sis, I sort of broke the phone a little while ago.”

“What did Hanji do this time?”

“It… oh shit yeah, you won’t believe what that shitty glasses found.”

The person on the other end went quiet, sensing the heaviness behind Amir’s voice that wasn’t always there. “You found her?”

Amir couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Hanji found her a few weeks ago. She sent me to some other city so that she could find her first and just sort things out. She only called me three days ago, the shit. I broke my phone in my anger and raced here. Jesus, Ilse, she looks just like me.”

Ilse ran a hand over her cheeks to wipe the tears away. “My god, all this time and you find her so easily.”

“Apparently she was caught up in that Dena fiasco. That’s how Hanji found her.”

“Is she okay? When can I meet her?”

“I dunno. Those bastards did something to her. Hanji is figuring it out now, and then we’ll head back home.”

There was another pause. “And Damian…?”

Amir’s happy mood disappeared in seconds. Her grin faded and she moodily shoved her fist into her pocket.

“It’s like she dropped off the face of the earth.”

Ilse sighed deeply and on her end started typing multiple keys by her computer. “I figured you wouldn’t be able to find her so easily. Look, I might have a lead.”

Amir suddenly straightened. “What?!”

“She was seen at a high class restaurant a year ago. Apparently she was escorting a big shot CEO. She is one of us.”

Amir’s eyes narrowed. “What the fuck does she think she’s doing?”

“Infiltrating Illuminus on her own, I suppose.”

“Damnit. That woman, I swear.”

“She sent a new letter. It arrived last week. Probably just the usual greeting.”

Amir groaned. “I’ll give it a look and scent it for anything important. Maybe we can match a location, though she probably wouldn’t allow her scent to cling to the letter if she doesn’t want us to find her.”

“Amir,” Ilse said. “We need to find her soon. She’s been on this vendetta for five years. I miss my sister-in-law, and if you have found your daughter, then she needs to be informed.”

“She’ll come running home the second she finds out. But how the fuck do we let her know?”

Ilse shrugged on her end. “When will you guys get back? It’s been lonely down here with nothing but the ocean and the whales.”

“We’ll probably leave by tonight. Hanji needs her lab to do anything substantial. I hope you haven’t messed my place up.”

Ilse coughed roughly. “I, um, have to go! I’ll keep searching for leads. I can’t wait to meet my niece.”

Amir finally grinned. “I’m sure it’ll be amusing.” They said their farewells and then ended the call. Amir quickly ordered ice-cream and then made her way over to Ymir, who was very much sulking.

The taller of the two dropped down into an empty seat and sighed. “So, kiddo, who is this Krista you keep mentioning?” She pushed a bowl over to Ymir and wiggled her eyebrows.

 “None of your business,” Ymir snapped. She roughly took the bowl and then stared down into it.

By the look on her face Amir instantly knew that it was a case of deep infatuation topped with self-loathing and heartbreak. Dropping the topic for now, Amir had to roll her eyes.

“Would you like to know about your family?” Amir asked instead.

Ymir lifted an eyebrow and finally lifted the spoon to her lips. The ice-cream was sweet on her tongue. “Whatever.” She moodily glanced to the side and slumped in her seat.

Amir took that as an affirmative. “Your grandparents are dead, from both sides. Unfortunately the heartbreak of losing you took ‘em all in one wave.” Although it still stung deeply, Amir could shrug it off. Life and death happened, and after suffering so much already Amir was used to it. “I have a sister. You see, my father was married before she married my mother, and so Ilse is the child from—”

“She?” Ymir interrupted.

“Didn’t Hanji tell you? There is no male demon. We’re all women. Since the beginning we have not carried the Y chromosome.”

Ymir’s brow furrowed in confusion. “So how…?”

Amir grinned in amusement. “Ah, so you are finally interested in the conversation.”

Ymir flushed, but she ignored the comment. “How do all these females procreate?”

“We have a certain spell that changes a certain part of the anatomy,” Amir explained. “Which is why I’m your father, because I quite literally fathered you.”

Ymir suddenly felt uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and then thought of something. “What if one of us likes men, since we seem to be a race of lesbians?”

At that Amir burst out into raucous laughter. She slapped the table, startling the customers around them, and dropped her head to her arms atop the table to calm herself.

“It’s not in our genetics, kid.” Amir said, finally regaining control and fighting her laughter off. “Not once, ever, has one of our kind been born with a desire for men.” Just the thought was grossly absurd.

Ymir suddenly wondered about the dream she often had. She had always assumed it was the dream detailing her birth, but if what Amir said is true, then that man could not be her father. Those people couldn’t be her parents anyway, because Ymir was sitting in front of one of them. What the hell was that dream then?

“Listen, Amir…” Ymir didn’t like that she was about to ask, but Amir obviously knew much more than she did. “I have had this dream since I can remember. A woman is giving birth to me, and there’s her husband and an old man there. They talk about the child bringing the end. I am the child, but I end up killing them. It’s haunted me my whole life. If you are my parent, then who are the people from my dream?”

When Ymir looked up to finally gaze into Amir’s face, she was slightly startled to see that the woman’s eyes had changed and she was staring with intense anger.

“Those fuckers,” she growled lowly. Her fangs came out and her lips curled upwards to reveal them. “I’ll fucking rip their spines out.”

While Ymir was impressed with the level of anger, she became concerned. “Calm down,” she hissed hurriedly, glancing around them. However, Amir ignored her. The woman reached forward and grabbed the back of her neck. She pulled Ymir close and then pressed their foreheads together. Ymir could feel the growls from Amir’s chest.

“They imprinted memories into you. Any reoccurring dream that you had was forced into your head by them. It was all to lead you to a destiny they orchestrated.”

It was warm where their foreheads touched. “So, everything…?”

“Everything you have dreamt is a lie. Ymir, you may be capable of horrid things, but you are not evil by nature. You are an innocent. You’re my kid. You don’t have to be an end to the world; you just have to be my child.”

Ymir swallowed and felt like her world suddenly made no sense. Everything she had known and believed was a lie, and she was struggling to swallow it all down. Sure, knowing that her horrid ‘vision’ of destroying the world had been an image imprinted on her made her feel tons lighter. It was just a lot to take in.

But Ymir still felt like a monster and like she was a danger to everyone. The only person she did not feel she could harm was Amir. In an odd way Ymir felt that Amir would be able to stop her in any rage she might be experiencing.

At least it set Ymir’s nerves at ease and she lightly pulled away.

“Okay,” she said lightly. “I get it.”

Amir sat back in her seat, lips set in a frown. She felt a tightening in her chest and wished that Damian was with her. If only she could just call her, to hear her voice. She missed her so much.

“You done with your ice-cream?”

Ymir looked down at her half eaten meal and then shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Let’s head back then and see what Hanji figured out.”

The freckled brunette nodded and then followed Amir out of the store. When she stepped out into the fresh air, a sudden foreboding feeling washed over. Ymir’s eyes snapped upwards to meet Amir’s as the older woman turned to look at her. Amir’s eyes had changed again and looked panicked.

It happened far too quickly for either of them to react quickly enough.

A van suddenly veered off the road, clearly intent on ramming into them. It swerved at the last second to the left, no longer about to crash into the store, but crashed into Amir instead. The front bonnet crunched as it collided with her tall body, and a long stream of blood suddenly left her mouth when her ribs all cracked. Ymir was missed by inches and she turned to watch Amir’s body fly into the air before thudding against the ground in a heap. Cold, painful ice filled her veins and an overwhelming sickness took her stomach.

Suddenly the doors to the van swung open and hands were pulling Ymir in. Her black and red eyes remained glued to Amir’s lifeless form, and then the door shut with a final slam and Ymir snapped back to reality.

She kicked and punched at her captors, screaming.

“Amir!” She screamed the name over and over, heart thudding painfully in her chest. Images of the collision still flashed behind her eyes and a suffocating sadness filled Ymir’s mind.

She had just found her real parent, and then she had been taken so violently away from her. When would she stop losing everyone that she cherished?

In that moment Ymir realized that although they did now know each other, Amir had already grown on her. She had secretly looked forward to getting to know the person that she had come from. Now, with the knowledge that she would never be able to, anguished tears poured from Ymir’s eyes and she ceased moving. It was useless. They were too strong and she was too hyped up on emotions. Giving up was all she had left.

“Good job!” a woman shouted from the front. “We got her!”

One of the women holding onto Ymir laughed. “Hell yeah! Did you see how that bitch went down?” She was short and stocky, with broad shoulders dotted with spiralling tattoos. Her hair was long and red, with portions shaved in patterns. Many piercings sat along her face, and red, eerie eyes looked down at Ymir.

“They look so much alike I couldn’t decide which one to hit,” the driver, a short-haired blonde said. The woman glanced back quickly and Ymir caught a glimpse of green eyes. They looked cold.

“Stop congratulating each other and focus on the task at hand,” the third woman announced. She had already tied Ymir’s hands and no longer held onto her. She looked unimpressed, as if touching Ymir had been the most unsavoury thing she had ever been made to do.

Her hair was chin length and cut in a way that it stuck out in all directions. Portions were red, while most of it was just black. Unlike the redhead she had no plethora of tattoos and piercings, but she did have a necklace with a strange symbol on it. Ymir barely paid it any mind.

“Aw, come on Shay,” the redhead whined at her partner.

“This mission hasn’t succeeded yet Alice,” Shay argued angrily. “Remember what Eva told us! We are not to lose focus until we are back inside of the compound.”

Alice deflated and then slumped to the floor, arms crossed over her chest. “Fine.”

“Guys, is the kid still alive?” the blonde asked.

Shay leaned forward to see Ymir’s face and was pleased to see her eyes, black and red, were open and that her chest was heaving.

“Yeah, she’s just in shock. How much longer until we leave the city?”

“About ten minutes.”

“Hey, Reece! Why don’t we stop to get some food? I’m fucking hungry.”

Reece, the blonde, shook her head and grinned. “I would but Shay might just kill us and complete the mission on her own.”

Shay merely lifted an eyebrow and made no attempt to deny the accusation. Alice rolled her eyes and acquiesced. 

They all fell into silence then and all Ymir could hear was the sound of her own breathing. No one had gagged her yet, at least. Not that she was preparing to make any noises. What for? She didn’t really have anything left.

Getting to meet her mother would have been nice, though. Ymir imagined what she would look like. She imagined being consumed in a warm, loving hug and having a soft laugh echo in her ear. Amir would hug them both then, joyous and crying as dramatically as she could.

Tears pressed against her eyes but Ymir forced them back. Crying wouldn’t bring Amir back.

“Fuck,” Reece suddenly cursed.

Both Alice and Shay glanced up at the blonde and then something heavy landed atop the van. They had just left city limits and were now on a highway flanked by nothing but dry soil.

“What the fuck is—” Alice started to ask, but then an arm broke through the roof of the car and grabbed her face. She was yanked out of the van and then her screams suddenly stopped. Shay scrambled to find her gun but then the van suddenly lifted.

Ymir’s heart shot into her throat. What the fuck was going on now? She was roughly shoved into the doors of the van when it was harshly shoved off of the road, and she grunted at the pain.

“It’s her!” Reece yelled. She attempted to start the car again but then her door was ripped off, and so was her face. She screamed in terror and then gargled when her throat was ripped out. Ymir could only glance back and catch a glance of a large, muscled arm pull away from the dead woman. The fingers were long, the skin leathery and red. The nails were sharp and black.

Shay had watched her companion die, and so she gripped her gun tightly and aimed it at any noise she heard. Suddenly an idea came to her, and she harshly lifted Ymir by grabbing onto her upper arm.

“Make a move and I’ll fucking kill her!” Shay yelled. She kicked the van’s door open and, holding Ymir close to her body with the gun pressed to her temple, stepped out into the hot sun and dust. “I swear to every fucking made-up god that I’ll blow her brains out!”

Before them, nostrils flaring and eyes angry, stood the scariest thing Ymir had ever seen. It was a demon, she knew that much. However, it was about seven meters tall, with thick, black wings protruding from its back.

The familiar speckles on the demon’s face made Ymir’s eyes widen.

“Amir!” she yelled.

Amir grinned. It was a frightening sight with her reddened skin and the blood dotting her face, but it still sent childlike happiness through Ymir. She wanted to struggle out of the woman’s hold, but she couldn’t. There was still a gun pressed to her head.

“I’m going to get into the van,” Shay explained. “And then I’ll drop the kid and leave here alive. Got that? Stay where you are and we can all leave here alive.”

Shay understood the situation. She understood that leaving here with Ymir was not an option. It was either leave Ymir and live, or attempt to take her and die. The winning decision here was obvious.

Amir shrugged her large shoulders and then flapped her wings. Though she looked angry she did not seem worried. Ymir was reassured by this and found her tears were already drying. She grunted when Shay pulled her too tightly, and then braced herself when she was shoved to the ground.

Shay jumped into the van and then quickly sped off. She grinned to herself as she stared into the rear-view mirror.

Amir watched her go for a minute. Ymir was on the ground, gasping in pain. “I’ll be back,” she said. Her wings flapped powerfully and then she was off, flying at such a speed that she was a blur.

The van suddenly shot into the air and something sliced it in half. It remained suspended for a second, and then it exploded. Shay didn’t even have time to scream.

In no time Amir was by Ymir’s side, gradually changing back into her human form. She used her claws to snap the rope around Ymir’s wrists.

Amir was not expecting the tight hug that followed. Ymir flung herself at Amir and then wrapped her arms around her still thick neck.

“I thought you died!” she choked out.

Amir carefully returned the hug, smiling to herself. “Naw. It’ll take more than that to kill your dad off.”

Ymir laughed then. She couldn’t help it.

When Amir’s body had finished changing, she was naked. Ymir didn’t care and continued to cling onto her. Before Amir could voice her concerns, a familiar car screeched to a halt beside them. Inside Hanji looked pale.

“I saw what happened,” she said. She climbed out and opened the door for Amir to climb in with Ymir in her arms.

Amir felt nervous at the look on Hanji’s face. “Why do I have a feeling that something else has you looking like that?”

Back behind the wheel, Hanji nodded. “I tested her blood,” she explained. “And I am completely surprised that Ymir is still alive.”

Amir sucked in a deep breath and Ymir stiffened. “Explain.”

“Whatever they put into her, it was accelerating the development of her second form. While we naturally only start changing from the age of ten, she started at four. Ymir’s own blood is attacking her and she’s been sick because of it.”

“Is… is there a way to fix it?”

Hanji could at least nod her head and relax her posture. “We should give her a blood transplant when we get back. Amir, you share the same blood type so you can donate.”

Amir would have done so without being told. “Is she in any immediate danger?”

Hanji glanced in the mirror and locked eyes with her long-time friend. “Amir, Ymir should have been dead the moment they injected that stuff into her.”

Amir’s arms tightened around Ymir. She frowned. “Get us back quickly,” she said. “I want to get this out of her now.”

Hanji didn’t need to be told twice. Glancing in the mirror again, she caught Ymir staring out of the window. Fierce anger and protectiveness filled her chest, but more than that, relief. She was so glad that Ymir was so strong. If she had been a normal demon, then perhaps she wouldn’t have made it so long.

“I’ll get us there in no time!” Hanji chirped cheerfully. “We might as well tell Ilse to prepare some coffee for us already!”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for chapter VI: Breathe Into Me by Red, Faceless by Red and The Grey by Icon For Hire

**VI**

* * *

It had been just about an hour after her world came crashing down around her, and Krista stared listlessly out of the car window. Her forehead felt cold against the glass, but she barely noticed. Beside her Nanaba glanced worriedly but made no move to start conversation.

The radio was on, playing a song that Krista had enjoyed with Ymir on their trip. With a huff she slapped the button to turn it off, and then she pressed her forehead to the window again. Nanaba glanced her way.

“Krista…” She didn’t like the way the little blonde was acting. She had snapped when Nanaba had tried to talk, and now she was staring out into nothing with a deep frown on her face. “I’m sorry. Ymir called me and I had to come.”

Krista had heard it before. She could picture it. It had probably happened when Ymir had disappeared.

_Why,_ Krista thought, _why would you leave me Ymir? Weren’t we supposed to tackle the world together?_

A painful sensation tingled through her heart and Krista slapped a hand over her eyes to hide her tears. Yet they spilled anyway, and Nanaba could see them.

“Your parents are worried…” Nanaba supplied nervously. She felt both mad at Ymir and worried for Krista. What had they gone through for Krista to break down like this? “You know, Ymir didn’t break up with you. She just—”

“We weren’t dating,” Krista interrupted harshly. She sniffed loudly and used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the snot from her upper lip.

Nanaba blinked. “Um…” She did not know what else to say, so she merely sighed and faced forward. This would surely be a long ride.

XxX

“Historia!”

Krista was wrapped in cold, shaking arms. Her mother hugged her tightly and cried into her shoulder, but Krista didn’t reciprocate. Arms lamely at her sides, Krista did not even attempt to hug her back.

Her father noticed and he frowned. “Young lady, you are grounded until we feel you have learnt your lesson.”

Krista’s vacant blue eyes barely showed any recognition. She shrugged her shoulders, muttered ‘okay’ and then headed up the stairs to her large, pink room. Her parents watched her go, and then they turned to Nanaba. The tall blonde handed the bag over to them.

“I’m so sorry for the trouble Ymir caused.”

Mr Reiss frowned deeply. “Yes, well, at least Historia is back.”

“And what of Ymir?” Mrs Reiss enquired. They were both frowning and wanting to curse the brunette’s name but not tactless enough to do so in front of Nanaba.

Nanaba sighed and rubbed her hands off on her jeans. “She went off on her own.”

Mr and Mrs Reiss seemed pleased. They didn’t mention this and gave Nanaba grateful smiles before she went home.

Meanwhile, in her room Krista collapsed onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling with burning eyes. She did not know how to handle the torrent of emotions inside of her. It all felt strange—like a dream she would surely wake from. When morning came she would be in the hotel bed, wrapped up in Ymir’s warm embrace.

A flash of sorrowful brown eyes reminded Krista of the crushing rejection, and she moodily turned onto her side and buried her hands into her hair.

_Ymir, how are you going to function without me? What if you get mad and throw a fit? Who will comfort you after a nightmare? You need me!_

Like a taunt, Ymir’s voice filled her ears, “Don’t you mean that _you_ need me?”

Krista squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She still couldn’t understand how everything had changed in merely a few hours. They had woken up so happy and now she was in her room, crying and leaking snot onto her pillow.

Like a sickening feeling Krista began to yearn for Ymir, and anger followed it. She didn’t want to miss her. She wanted to be furious with her. Maybe if she was angry enough Ymir would sense it and come home. Ymir would stop acting foolish and they could go back to the way things were.

_“Stop acting like I’m not dangerous and like you aren’t scared of me.”_

Krista clenched her hands tightly and refused to believe the sinking feeling in her stomach. _Ymir won’t come back,_ a voice taunted. _She doesn’t need you anymore._

Krista ended up crying herself to sleep, and the entire while she was plagued with nightmares.

XxX

Over the course of the weekend Krista did not leave her room. Her parents had knocked on her door, demanding to be let in. She had refused them. In order to make sure that she ate, they left a tray of whatever meal they were having by her door. She only ate once the entire weekend. Only silence prevailed from her room, and her parents grew largely concerned.

They had contacted the school and informed them of Krista’s return. It wasn’t clear when Krista would eventually emerge from her room to go to school, and luckily the principle was understanding of that fact. He gave a two week limit, after which Krista would have to be forced to attend school. Otherwise her last year would be jeopardized. Luckily, it had only taken a week.

The early Monday morning was gloomy. It was August, nearing the end of winter and becoming the coldest it would be. Most of Malia wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed, though it rarely did. Climate was such a changing thing these days.

Frosty, frigid air blew across the school parking lot as Krista climbed out of her parents’ car. They were both seated inside, both watching Krista with concern and pity.

“If you need anything, go to the principle and he will contact us,” Mrs Reiss said gently.

Krista did not offer a voice of response, opting to merely nod instead. She closed the car door, barely noticing the shift from heater warmed air to the cold wind. Mr and Mrs Reiss could only share a glance as they watched their daughter mindlessly patter into the school grounds. They hoped that she would feel better after interacting with her peers. She hadn’t said a word since returning.

Students around her whispered as Krista made her way through the hallway towards her register class. She gripped her bag strap tightly, hands dyeing white with the force. Her eyes, half lidded and cast at the ground, looked dull and grey. She bumped into people here and there, not offering a word of apology. Those that felt angered by her mindlessness quickly lost their anger when they sensed the immense depression around her.                           

“Isn’t she that weird girl always stuck to Ymir?” a girl whispered to her friend.

“Yeah, but I heard they ran away a month ago. Think she got caught and brought back?”

“Looks like it. Is Ymir here with her?”

“No. I just saw Krista walk in. She’d be all over Ymir by now.”

“You know, Krista looks really down.”

“You’re right. I wonder what happened.”

“Poor Krista. Ymir must have put her through so much.”

Krista, lamely listening to it all, paused in the centre of the hallway. The moving crowd around her paused as well, and then startled slightly when the blonde straightened her previously slouched posture and turned to the two conversing friends.

One was red haired while the other had brown pigtails.

“What did you say?” Krista asked. Her grip on her bag tightened even further.

Redhead spared a glance with her friend, nervous. “U-um, we were just saying that Ymir must have put you through a lot…” she trailed off nervously.

Krista stared at her dead-on. Her previously empty eyes were now filled with intense, consuming anger. Without warning she shot forward, weaving through the stunned crowd until she made her way towards the girl. Though small, her fist connected loudly with Redhead’s jaw, sending her crashing into Pigtails.

Pigtails cried out in surprise and managed to catch her friend. She shot a look at Krista, mortified. “What are you doing?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Krista screamed. She panted, shoulders and chest heaving. “Don’t you ever say her name again!” this she yelled loudly, so that everyone could hear. “Do you hear me? It’s none of your fucking business!”

More than just shocked that Krista had sworn, the surrounding students all whispered amongst themselves and shared startled looks. They couldn’t match the previously sweet Krista with this angry little person before them. Sure, no one had been inclined to get to know her, but she had still been kind. When one bumped into her, she was always quick to apologise irrespective of who was to blame. If someone dropped something, she had hurried to pick it up. She even defended those that were bullied, despite being ignored by those very people herself.

No one truly knew Krista, and feared being acquainted with her due to Ymir, but they had always had a common understanding that Krista was the school saint. Not only was she quick to help, but she stuck to the most difficult person imaginable.

“What the devil is going on here?!” A teacher appeared, having heard the yelling and the noise of the crowd. He spied Redhead cradling her jaw, Krista standing threateningly in front of her, and correctly guessed the situation. “Krista, my office, now.”

Even more shock swept through the students, and they watched as Krista’s anger drained to nothing and she shrugged. The teacher’s angry glare did nothing to deter her, and she merely followed him towards the collection of offices. The bell rang then, and everyone had to leave their conversation and gossip to hurry to their classes.

School had just begun.

XxX

Though it had not rung once, not with a message or a call, Krista still clutched her phone tightly to her chest. It was warm to the touch, thanks to being held for so long. When a touch landed on Krista’s shoulder, the blonde’s grip tightened as she startled.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” It was Reiner. He had a genuinely apologetic look on his face, so Krista shrugged. She did not respond and looked back out over the school field, where she had been sitting by Ymir’s favourite spot—the tree where they had first met. “Look, I know I made a terrible first impression. I blame my chauvinistic upbringing.” Reiner scratched his head. “I heard what happened and that you got sent to the principal. Seems like your life is shit right now.” He grimaced at the tasteless words that left his mouth, but found that he couldn’t control it.

Krista didn’t respond, she didn’t move and just continued to look blankly forward. The most emotion she had shown that day was her uncharacteristic anger, which had dimmed and disappeared completely. Now she was merely exhausted, drained and depressed.

It felt as if a suffocating blackness had surrounded her, blocking off the world to her. She wasn’t sure if the sounds she heard and the sights she saw were real, or a figment of her imagination. A desperate sadness had settled on her heart, and Krista did not know how to handle it.

“Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. What I mean is, that… I mean… look, you look depressed and it’s getting everyone down. I just wanted to come over and offer some comfort.”

Finally Krista turned to the muscular boy, her eyes not alight with fire, but empty and desolate. “What makes you think I want your comfort?” She didn’t wait for a response, collected her uneaten lunch and walked away from him.

Reiner sighed deeply and ran a hand over his large wrist. Why did he have to shove both feet into his mouth? The blonde boy kicked himself for his failure to offer a kind hand. He really meant it that he hated seeing the small blonde sad, despite not even knowing her. He had been a real jerk to her, and after learning that she had run off with that strange brunette, he had grown worried that his actions had sparked it.

Reiner still wasn’t sure why Krista and Ymir had left, but the rumours were already circulating. He ignored them all, wanting to hear from Krista herself instead. From what he had heard over the past month, Krista didn’t really have any other friends. Now that Ymir was gone, he was determined to be there for her. He had no chance with her—that he had assured of himself by acting like an idiot. What he was really concerned for now was just being a friend, nothing more. If only he could do it without being a moron about it.

Meanwhile, wishing that the school break would be over soon, Krista made her way to her next class. While she walked through the halls students whispered, some stopping the moment Krista walked by them, others not bothering. Krista didn’t bother to even pretend that she cared. She just walked by, focused entirely on getting to an empty classroom to rest her tired body.

She hadn’t been sleeping that well, which wasn’t all that surprising.

When she stepped into the classroom, she paused upon noticing that it wasn’t empty. To her dismay Marco sat in the back row, chin pressed to his palm and eyes now trained on her. He seemed just as uncomfortable, and for the first time Krista wondered what he thought of her.

Did Ymir’s adopted siblings blame her for leaving with Ymir? Did they hate her now?

Krista released a short breath, and then turned to leave. A soft voice stopped her.

“Wait.”

Krista paused just before opening the door. She did not look at Marco again.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His voice sounded nearer. “I haven’t seen you since before you and Ymir left.” His foot scuffed against the floor and Krista realized that he was now behind her. “Can we talk, please?” A gentle hand touched her back.

“About what?”

“About why you left.”

“What good will it do?” Talking felt strange. Krista had barely spoken since returning, and stringing so many words together after days of silence made her tongue almost ache. A dry sensation filled her mouth.

“To understand a little better. I never understood a thing about Ymir, about her relationship with you or why you both depended on each other. What made you stick to her so strongly? I’m not judging, I’m merely curious. I’ve barely slept since finding out that Nanaba didn’t bring her home. I miss her too, we all do. Please, just help me out here. Help me understand.”

Krista’s eyes burnt. “You’ll never understand,” she said. “Even if I explain it.”

Marco frowned. “Why not? Did Ymir convince you to leave, is that it? Krista, you know that she’s been diagnosed with so many mental illnesses. I don’t think—”

“No, she’s not sick like that.” Krista sighed. Her back remained tense but her arm finally dropped to her side.

“I don’t understand.”

“Like I said, you never will.”

Marco seemed as if he would argue again, but instead he sighed. Krista heard the rustle of his jacket. “How are you holding up? I heard you had it rough.”

Krista shrugged. “She left me. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.”

Marco heard the waver in her voice and grew concerned. “She really did leave you? You weren’t planning on coming back on your own?”

“No, why would I?”

“I don’t know… I just thought…. I don’t know what I thought. You look really out of it, are you sure you should be at school?”

The question did not need an answer. She decided that her defeated slump was answer enough. Apparently it was, and when her eyes began to burn, Marco’s thin arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind.

“She left us too, you know. We understand your pain.”

Krista bit into her lip. “No you don’t. You never will.”

Marco let the comment be. He felt that he had more questions than answers, but felt lighter after at least speaking with Krista. Wondering what had happened had weighed on his mind. He hoped that Krista would talk to him over time. For now he tightened his hold, not mentioning that Krista was shaking or that he could feel salty droplets plopping against his skin.

“I heard you punched someone. Did that really happen?” Krista nodded and Marco laughed. “Well I’ll be damned. Ymir taught you well.”

Krista’s tears fell harder. She wanted to agree, she wanted to scream. In the end she just ducked her head and allowed the kind freckled boy to hold her. It was painful to let him, but it would have been more painful to slump to the floor. For now she allowed herself the comfort, but silently vowed to herself to never cry in front of another again.

XxX

That night Krista lay awake in her bed, like she had every night, staring up at the ceiling. The events of her day circulated in her mind, drawing her focus away from any possibility of sleep. Slight guilt washed over her. Why had she been so fine with punching that girl in the face? Even now, thinking about the moment and remembering the feeling—the satisfaction—of her fist hitting flesh, she felt no remorse. No true remorse, like she usually would. Her guilt made her angry, and when she thought of her conversation with Reiner, her heart thundered in anger.

Who was he to approach her like they were friends?

Krista groaned softly and pressed her fingers to her throbbing temples. She would give anything to have Ymir there with her, to soothe her aches and hold her tightly. But she wasn’t there, and Krista was left feeling unprotected and cold. How would she ever get over the loss and walk on her own two feet?

The notion itself seemed impossible.

“Historia, are you still awake?” It was her mother.

Krista turned around so that her back was facing the door and remained quiet.

“Historia? Are you asleep or simply ignoring me?”

Krista responded by doing the latter, hoping her mother would get the hint and leave her be. She did love her parents despite their many flaws, because she could see that their overbearing nature was merely due to their care for her. But they were suffocating her—demanding to be let into her head, to help, to fix her. She knew they would not understand and they would definitely not take her feelings seriously. Being told to ‘get over it’ was the last thing that Krista needed in her current emotional state.

“I just want to let you know that we aren’t upset about your fight today. The principal said that he won’t punish you for it, and he will not allow it on your record. If you do it again, though, he will have to take action.” Her mother sighed. “We don’t understand what is pushing you to this sort of behaviour, but your father and I are willing to listen. We are frightened for you, Historia. We love you. Please talk to us if you need to.”

_You won’t understand,_ Krista thought bitterly to herself. _There is no one on earth that would listen to my problems with an understanding ear._

Her mother lingered for a good few minutes, hopeful that her presence would coax her daughter into opening the door. It didn’t, and with a light sigh she walked away. Krista listened to her fading footsteps, heart pounding.

Her chest tightened painfully as her heart betrayed her anger and felt bad for treating her parents so badly. It internally screamed for Ymir, to bring her back and beg her not to leave again.

Krista squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the blankets up to her chin. She pressed her cheek firmly into the pillow and then relaxed lightly. The pounding in her heart took a moment to cease, and with great effort she managed to clear her mind and ease her panic. With her body relaxed, it felt as if she would fall off into sleep.

“You know,” Ymir spoke up. “You look like shit.”

Krista gasped loudly and shot up in bed. “Ymir?”

The brunette snorted and then pushed away from the wall she had been leaning on. “Since when did you ignore your parents? They irritated you sometimes, sure, but you never disrespected them like this before.”

Anger filled Krista’s chest. “I don’t need lecturing from you!”

Ymir seemed unfazed by the angry outburst. She sauntered over, lips set in a cruel smirk. She sat down on the bed and stretched her arms lazily. “When last did you even eat? I wasn’t joking. You look like something shat you out.”

Krista’s entire body trembled. She gripped her blanket tightly, her knuckles turning white. What did Ymir think she was doing? How dare she waltz in and act like everything was fine? How dare she even attempt to lecture Krista?

“It’s all your fault,” she seethed. “You made all these damn promises and then you broke them all.”

Ymir turned to her sharply, and the most remorseful expression covered her face. She scooted closer, ignoring the fear that suddenly clouded Krista’s eyes, and reached out to touch her cheek. Krista shivered when the touch was cold.

“Do you really think I wanted to leave you?” she asked. Her voice was not laced with venom, but with sadness. “You were the only thing keeping me human, Krista.” She leaned in to ghost her lips over Krista’s. “I need you to remember that.”

“But why did you leave?” Krista asked tearfully. She had promised that day not to cry in front of another person again—not even Ymir. But her eyes burnt, and keeping her tears at bay was proving difficult. “I just don’t understand why you left me when you need me.”

Ymir smiled sadly. She pressed their foreheads together and sighed. “Krista, sometimes we have to fall our hardest to know how to stand the strongest.”

Krista’s brows furrowed. When did Ymir talk so whimsically?

“We need to break on our own,” Ymir continued. “So that we can fix ourselves.”

“But why did you leave?”

“I couldn’t stay.”

“You could have. I would have been there for you.”

“But who would be there for you?”

Krista fell silent. Ymir was still pressed against her, and a large, familiar hand gently took a hold of her own, intertwining their fingers. Thankfully the grip was warm and strong, just like Krista remembered.

“I...” Krista did not know what to say. Ymir was right, wasn’t she? Why was she so right?

“I have to go now,” Ymir said. “I’ve stayed too long already.”

Krista jumped out of bed when Ymir stood and made for the door. The brunette reached out for the handle, but Krista stopped her. “Ymir!” she yelled.

Ymir looked over her shoulder and Krista’s footsteps faltered. Glowing red and black eyes stared at her, and the sight sent fear down her spine. Ymir grinned like it was a joke, and then she pressed a hand to Krista’s chest, took a breath, and smiled again.

“Fall, Krista.”

And then she pushed her, and Krista screamed as she plummeted through her bedroom floor into a vast, empty black hole. She saw Ymir’s face above her, watching her with a frown. The demon-born’s lips moved, and Krista screamed again when she read them.

“Goen’a.”

XxX

Though she had fallen asleep easily, her nightmare had startled her awake. Krista had not gone back to sleep after. How could she? She had wept through the hours, desperately clutching her phone and wishing that it would chime with a call or a message—anything.

Krista did not know what to make of her dream. Was it Ymir trying to tell her something, or her subconscious?

"You okay?"

A large body filled the seat beside her and Krista groaned internally.

"Oh and good morning," Reiner said.

Krista was not in the mood, so she pressed her arms to her desk and rested her head down on them. She ignored him, but that didn't seem to be working.

"So, you missed a lot of work in a month. How are you holding up? If you want, I could help you out." He nervously rubbed his forearm. "I could even just give my books to you, if you'd rather copy the work and save the time."

Krista sighed loudly and then turned, back facing him. Reiner sighed in defeat and headed back to his desk.

_What is he trying to prove?_ Krista thought to herself. _Idiot._

The day went by slowly, agonizingly slowly. People still whispered and they seemed to only get louder. Krista tried to ignore it, but Ymir's name kept popping up everywhere and at some point she had almost simply fled school.

Marco had approached her then, during second break. He didn't say anything and neither had she. They just sat quietly together, both of them solemn and broody. Though Marco had wanted to ask his many questions, he knew that he would get no answers. When the bell rang he had touched a finger to Krista's shoulder, smiled and then headed off to his next class.

Krista felt awful.

After Marco's silent comfort she began to wonder how the others were doing. How was Nanaba?

So after school, with great reluctance Krista walked to where Ymir had lived. It was close to the school, since Ymir used to get sick often and had to be rushed home.

When the house came into view a knot formed in her stomach. Memories of the last time she had been in the house, with Ymir, making promises and preparing to leave, filled her mind. It made her heart ache.

She reached the heavy iron gate and paused by it, suddenly overcome with anxiety. What if Nanaba was upset with her or blamed her? The blonde doubted that she would be able to handle that.

"Krista?" Nanaba appeared by the front door, hair dishevelled, eyes tired and worried. "Are you okay?"

Krista didn't understand the concern, but then she felt something wet drip from her chin and realized that she had started crying. She wiped the tears away with an angry huff.

"I'm fine," she rasped.

Nanaba faltered and swallowed. "Would you like to come in? It's just me at home."

Krista nodded hesitantly and then opened the gate to step through it. She kept her head down as she passed by the blonde, and sniffled lightly when she felt new tears emerge.

"What brings you here?" Nanaba asked gently. She wanted to give the small blonde a hug, but knew not if she was allowed. Instead she walked into the lounge and sat down on the largest couch. Krista followed, sitting down beside her.

"I'm sorry," Krista said softly. She didn't even know what she was apologizing for.

"Krista... It's..." Nanaba clasped her hands together. "You don't need to apologize for anything."

Krista shrugged and grew silent. She stared at her shoes, hands pressed together. Eventually she took a breath and decided to voice her main concern.

"Has Ymir contacted you?"

Nanaba's expression grew tired again. "No, she hasn't. Her cellphone is out of service. I went back to where you both were staying and she wasn't there. I found her car there and brought back, but she'd apparently checked out a few days earlier. I don't know where she could be."

Krista couldn't stop the intense worry that clouded her mind. Ymir's car had been left there? Where was Ymir then?

"If she contacts me, you'll be the first to know." Nanaba hesitantly placed a hand atop Krista's. "I promise."

"Thank you."

Nanaba released a breath. "Would you like some tea?" Krista nodded so Nanaba hurriedly got to her feet and disappeared into the kitchen.

After putting the kettle on Nanaba spread her fingers out on the counter and stared down at them. Marco had agreed to be her eyes and ears at school. So she was aware of Krista's emotional state. Marco had tried to ask Krista about why they'd left, but she hadn’t answered. Nanaba desperately wanted to know.

What was really wrong with Ymir? Her suspicion stemmed from the day she had accidentally walked in on Ymir changing her clothes. She had just wanted to neaten Ymir’s room while she was at school, but apparently Ymir had decided to skip.

_Nanaba wasn't sure what she was looking at. Her hand remained on the door handle. Ymir had frozen in the middle of slipping her shirt over her head._

_Long, black veins spiralled over her body. Nanaba had never seen anything like them before, or the anger that had suddenly taken Ymir over._

_"Get the fuck out!" Ymir roared, face contorted in fury. Her shirt had been quickly pulled down, and Nanaba could no longer see the marks._

_"What was that?" she asked. "How did you get those marks?"_

_Ymir stormed at her, ignoring her questions. She roughly shoved Nanaba out of the room, and as she threw the door shut, her angry gaze met Nanaba's._

_Nanaba's blood ran cold when unnatural red and black eyes stared at her, and then they were gone, the slam of the door echoing in her ears._

Nanaba was sure that those eyes weren't normal. Neither were those marks. So how did these strange things contribute to Ymir's awful health? Some nights she would wake screaming, some vomiting blood. The others had pretended not to notice, because it frightened them, but Nanaba had—and now she wanted to know the truth.

Making the tea quickly, she moved back into the lounge after and then handed a cup to the smaller blonde.  Krista seemed to have regained her bearings. She seemed less likely to cry now.

"Krista," Nanaba started. "About Ymir..." How could she phrase it? "There's something I'd like to ask."

Krista drew in a harsh breath. "I told Marco already, I don't know why she left me."

"No." Nanaba shook her head. "That isn't what I want to ask."

"Then what is it?"

Nanaba paused for a moment. Eventually, she said, "I know that Ymir wasn't really sick like she wanted us to believe." She sucked in a breath. "I... I saw these strange marks on her body once. They were like veins, impossibly black. They were spread out all over her back." By Krista's sudden stillness Nanaba knew that the little blonde had seen them too. "I saw Ymir's eyes change. Please, if you can, explain it to me. What's really going on with her?"

Krista chuckled to herself, but it wasn't amused. "You wouldn't understand."

"I'd like to try."

"You won't believe it."

"If it's the truth then I will."

Krista sighed deeply. "Okay," she conceded. "I'll tell you." _It's not like you'll actually believe me anyway._

Nanaba seemed surprised that Krista had agreed so quickly, and remained hopefully silent. She pressed her closed fists to her lap, heart beating in nervousness.

"Ymir isn't human," Krista said simply. She shrugged and then took a slight sip of tea.

Nanaba's brows furrowed in confusion. "Then what is she?"

"A demon. Not the kind of demon we're taught about, but a living, breathing person. She has a demon form. That’s the eyes you saw. She fights against changing into it and that's why she was always sick. Ymir had these dreams that she was sent here to destroy the world. These dreams tore her up inside." Krista was surprised at how easily the words left her lips. It felt good to finally tell someone, too.

"So… So is that why you left with her?"

Krista nodded. "Ymir didn't want to stay here anymore. Her marks were growing longer and they hurt. She wanted to try to find a way to make sure her dream never came true." Krista continued to explain how she'd first seen Ymir's marks, her eyes, when Ymir had finally told her that she is a demon. Nanaba listened intently, not once stopping her even when her brows rose or connected. It was obviously a lot to take in, and Krista didn't expect her to believe any of it.

Krista explained how their journey went, how Ymir needed her, how they ended up on Mike's farm. She cringed when she retold the horrific ritual and murders, and then how she couldn't look at Ymir afterwards—how she became afraid of her, nervous of her touch.

Nanaba, though sceptical, seemed to slowly accept the story as it went on. Her eyes filled with understanding, like the explanation was validating things she has seen or heard. By the end of it Krista was breathless and in tears. Nanaba was speechless.

"But it's all crazy, huh?" Krista said. She pressed a hand to her heart.

"No," Nanaba said, shaking her head. "There's no other explanation for the weird things I saw with Ymir. It might take a little while for me to sort through what you just told me, but my gut says that it's all the truth."

Krista eyed her warily. Did she really believe what Krista had told her? Krista was too tired to care whether she did or not. She felt drained, like each word that she had spoken had taken her energy with it.

"Krista," Nanaba said. "Would you like to stay the night?" She shifted, uncomfortable. "You make me feel close to Ymir. You also look terrible. It's dark outside."

Krista turned to look at the window. To her shock Nanaba was right—it was pitch-black outside. It seemed that her story had taken more than just her energy.

Hesitantly she nodded. "Can I maybe sleep in Ymir's room?" Her heart hurt, but it yearned. She had gone days without feeling Ymir's presence or smelling her scent. Would her room still smell like her? Krista hoped so. 

"I'll call your parents. Are you hungry?" Krista shook her head. "Okay." Nanaba reached for the house phone and then paused. "Thank you for telling me." Her smile was grateful, but sad.

Krista shrugged. "I'm gonna go to her room now." She didn't want to listen to Nanaba speak to her parents and went to Ymir's room quickly. Her legs trembled, as did her heart. A rush of emotions filled her body, and when she nervously pushed Ymir's door open, a familiar scent washed over her.

It was warm and comforting, tinged with the ever present scent of Ymir's blood and sweat. All of it was so welcomed that Krista almost expected to see Ymir lying on her bed, turning to glare at her.

The dream from the previous night came back to her. Krista padded over to the bed. It was just as messy as always, wrinkled from Ymir's body that had laid on it. Her pillow still held a faint indent of her head.

Krista collapsed onto the bed and buried her nose against the pillow, inhaling deeply. It smelt strongly of Ymir. Krista began to cry. 

Most of her worried for Ymir's safety. What if her dream came true? Surely Ymir couldn't handle it on her own.

Krista pulled her cellphone out of her pocket, found Ymir's number and then hovered over it. For the past few days she had wanted to send a message, but didn't know if she should. If Ymir didn't respond it would kill her, but if Ymir did respond, there was no guarantee that she would be kind. For all Krista knew, Ymir could have forgotten her already.

_"You're the only thing that kept me human."_

Ymir's voice from her dream swept through her ears. Krista's heart thudded, her hand tightened around her cellphone.

"Ymir would never forget," she told herself determinedly. "There's no way she would." But a part of Krista still feared it—not being needed by Ymir anymore, not being loved or wanted.

Krista wondered if Ymir would ever return. She was afraid of the answer.

With tears drying on her skin, Krista fell asleep amongst the comforting scent of the one person she truly loved.

XxX

Krista wasn't sure how long she had been asleep. At first the thought that Nanaba was attempting to wake her, but then she heard Ymir's window swish open.

For the longest second Krista fell back into the past, thinking she had just fallen asleep in Ymir's arms. But then hard feet thudded against the ground and a cold hand clamped around her mouth.

“Where is the Lucifer-born?” a harsh, grating voice enquired.

A second pair of boots thudded against the ground. Krista’s eyes, now open, darted around in the dark in panic. She was about to struggle, but froze when the hand covering her mouth tightened almost painfully.

“She is not here?”

“If she was here would I ask about her?”

The second person huffed. “She did not come back with the girl?”

The one holding onto Krista shrugged. “Might not have. Let’s take the human. Ymir will come to us then.”

Krista gasped when strong arms pulled her out of the bed. She was pressed to an almost flat chest and struggled violently. “Let me go!” she mumbled against the hand, even when the arm wrapped around her body tightened painfully around her ribs.

“Stop struggling!”

Krista kicked and twisted her body, tears collecting in her eyes in fright. These people were after Ymir, but Ymir wasn’t here. “Ymir!” Krista yelled loudly the second the hand slipped from her mouth. She wasn’t aware that she had uttered Ymir’s name—all she knew was the panic in her veins and the desperate desire to be saved by the only one that could do it.

Maybe if she yelled, maybe if she screamed her name then Ymir would come running. The brunette would sense her distress and appear in a bellow of steam, angry and ready to take these people on.

Krista took a breath to yell again but the hand clamped down on her mouth again and the arm tightened until she couldn’t breathe. However heavy footsteps thundered down the hall, and Krista’s heart began to race. Did her calling work? Was Ymir coming to her rescue?

Nanaba burst through the door, boxers and t-shirt crumpled, hair sticking up in all places and eyes wide with shock. She noticed the strangers in the bedroom, Krista in one of their arms, and clenched her teeth hard. The blonde took quick action and dove for the one holding Krista, but was stopped when the second suddenly grabbed her, punched her once in the stomach and then threw her to the ground.

“Take her too,” one of them said.

Krista stared at Nanaba’s form in panic. No—this wasn’t happening. Who were these people?

_Nanaba,_ Krista thought, _wake up, please! Wake up and stop these people!_

But her internal voice did not reach Nanaba’s unconscious form. The intruders headed towards the window from where they had entered. Krista caught a glimpse of their faces in the passing moonlight and went rigid.

Red and black eyes, extended fangs, horns—they were demons.

Krista struggled again, fear gripping her tightly. She became too much of a nuisance, and before they made it to the street a fist crashed into Krista’s stomach and the life left her eyes as her body seized, her eyes bulged and then she slumped forward—out cold.

XxX

When Krista came to, it was caused by a tremendous aching in her arms. The pain was enough to pull her out of a forced sleep, and her mind immediately jumped in panic. Realization and memory dawned on her, and Krista’s eyes shot open in fright. Her heart thudded painfully, and Krista noticed in shock that she was chained by the arms, feet dangling above the ground.

“Don’t freak out,” a voice spoke beside her.

Krista turned sharply and regretted the action. It caused her aching shoulders to hurt further, and she grunted at the pain. When the pain subsided, she cracked her eyes open again. Nanaba hung beside her, just out of her reach. Though the blonde was tall enough that she could stand on the ground, and was not forced to hang there.

“Where are we?” Krista asked, barely above a whisper. Her throat felt tight and dry, as did her mouth. It was obvious that she hadn’t drunk anything in too long.

“I don’t know,” Nanaba said. “I woke up a little while ago. There are no windows, so I don’t know what time it is. Did you wake up when we were brought here?”

Krista shook her head. “This is the first time I’ve woken.”

Nanaba cursed softly. “Who the hell were those people?”

“Demons,” Krista answered. “They are after Ymir.”

The door opened then and they quickly grew silent. No light flooded in, and it appeared that the hallway had no windows either. If it was light out, then they would still not know it.

A short, blonde woman walked in. Her blue eyes cut through them like ice, and Krista felt the sudden urge to lean away and struggle.

“Good, you are awake,” she said. Her voice was cold and hard. She walked over to one end of the room to retrieve a metal chair there, and then set it up in front of Nanaba and Krista. She took a seat, and trained her hard eyes on them.

Though she was short, she was in no way small. Her shoulders displayed her immense muscle and strength, as did the way her biceps strained against the fabric of her dark uniform blazer. The only other prominent feature of hers was a large nose, but it only lent to the startling image that she held. Krista was already afraid.

“What do you want with us?” Nanaba asked her.

The woman did not look at her. “My name is Aleksandr Leonhardt. We promise not to hurt you if you give us what we want.” She stared into Krista’s eyes, unwavering even when Krista’s lower lip began to tremble. “Where is the Lucifer-born?”

Krista swallowed. She would not tell them. Though she was terrified out of her mind, she refused to give Ymir up. She did not know what these people wanted with her, but surely it wasn’t anything good considering how they had no qualms about kidnapping them.

Aleksandr sighed and stood from her seat. She pulled a knife from her back and then approached Nanaba.

“What are you doing?” Nanaba demanded.

Aleksandr grabbed Nanaba roughly by the jaw, having to stand on her toes to do so, and roughly pulled her down so that she did not have to lean upwards. “Where is the Lucifer-born?” she asked again, directed at Krista. She pressed the knife to Nanaba’s cheek, eyes turned and looking at the little blonde watching her.

“I don’t know,” Krista said, trembling.

Aleksandr’s eyes narrowed. She did not hesitate and slashed a deep line down Nanaba’s face. Nanaba roared in pain and kicked forward, though it did not affect Aleksandr at all. 

Krista’s eyes filled up with tears. “You said you wouldn’t harm us!” she yelled. “I don’t know where Ymir is, okay? I really don’t know! So please let us go. You’re wasting your time.”

Blood dripped steadily down Nanaba’s face and Aleksandr cast her a disgusted look. When she turned back to Krista, her eyes were colder yet. “I promised not to hurt _you._ ” She sheathed her knife again and placed the chair back where she had found it. “We will leave you here until you decide your friend’s life is worth revealing the Lucifer-born.” She left through the door, a loud clang of metal echoing in her wake.

“Nanaba!” Krista exclaimed. She twisted around, trying to reach the tall blonde, but only succeeded in nearly dislocating her shoulders.

“I’ll be fine,” Nanaba hissed. She used her upper body strength to pull herself up enough to wipe her face on the sleeve of her shirt. It stung badly, and she clenched her teeth hard. At least it wasn’t _that_ deep, but it was still bleeding, and her clothes were getting ruined. “What do they want with Ymir?”

“I don’t know. We can’t tell them anything!”

Nanaba sighed. “It’s not like we know where she is, anyway. But I think you’re right. They’re willing to torture me to get you to speak. They can’t have good intentions.”

Krista watched Nanaba struggle with the blood for a while. She had even forgotten her thirst. All she could focus on was her intense worry for Nanaba, and the fear of the woman coming back. Another question stayed with her, though—was Aleksandr a demon? She didn’t seem as large as what Krista thought demons were.

Krista would have to wait and see. For now she tried to think of a way to get them out of there. If only Ymir had been with her, then they wouldn’t have even been taken. Anger at Ymir filled her chest, as well as longing and sadness.

_Ymir, what if I die here? What if you never know what happened to me?_

She slumped forward, suddenly feeling hopeless. Without Ymir, surely there was no way out of this.

XxX

The next time Aleksandr visited them, days could have passed, or hours. Neither Krista nor Nanaba were sure, as time seemed to either stop entirely, or flow too quickly.

The blonde woman was just as harsh, just as cold. She took a seat where she had before and stared into Krista’s tired eyes. “Where is the Lucifer-born?” she asked.

Nanaba watched, sweat collecting on her forehead. She knew how this would end, but still hoped that maybe it wouldn’t turn violent.

Krista, trembling, swallowed. “I…” She took a deep breath and cast a glance at Nanaba. “What do you want with her, anyway?” If she changed the topic, then maybe Aleksandr wouldn’t hurt Nanaba.

The blonde woman’s eyes clouded over in red and black. She stood, and as she did her form seemed to grow with her. She was no longer shorter than Nanaba, and now her skin was darkened almost to red.

“That is of none of your concern.”

“I won’t tell you unless you tell me!”

Aleksandr had begun heading towards Nanaba, but she then turned back to Krista. “If I answer you, will you answer me?” she asked.

Krista nodded fervently. “Yes! Just please, talk to me. Don’t hurt Nanaba.”

Aleksandr nodded, returning to her human form, and took a seat once more. “We wish to use the Lucifer-born to bring about a new era.” Her voice and expression remained bored, cold. She folded her arms across her chest and waited, apparently done with her answer and expecting one in return.

“A new era?” Krista questioned, brows furrowed. Were these people responsible for Ymir’s dreams, then? Did they want the end of the world?

“One question for one question,” Aleksandr warned.

Krista knew that she did not have a choice. “W-we were in Kenda for a bit, but then Ymir called her sister to fetch me, and I was brought back home. I don’t know where Ymir is.”

Aleksandr sat and stared for a few more minutes, nodded once and then left the room. The door remained open behind her and a few moments later a woman stepped in with a tray of food and water. Nanaba and Krista’s stomachs grumbled together and their mouths watered.

The woman had black hair, and she placed the tray down on the chair without a word. Her expression was blank, even as she assisted in helping them drink and eat, her touch was rough and she said not one word. She stitched the wound on Nanaba’s cheek, cleaned the blood from her as well and then collected the tray to leave. Behind her the door clinked shut.

Nanaba winced in pain and slumped forward, exhausted. Neither of them had slept yet, but the urge to simply pass out was great. It would be more difficult for Krista, since her shoulders ached without rest. However, before she knew it she was the first to nod off into sleep, head resting against her arm. Her light breathing eased Nanaba to sleep as well.

The two had unpleasant nightmares, and would have woken anyway before they were violently brought back to the world of the living. Icy water splashed over them, and they yelled out in pain and surprise.

“Wake up!” Aleksandr roared. She roughly grabbed a hold of Krista’s jaw and forced her gaze upwards. “I assume you’ve enjoyed your stay,” she said dryly. She shot a look to Nanaba, grimaced at her ragged appearance, and then sighed. “Release her,” she ordered.

Two from the doorway nodded and entered. They made sure to lock the door behind them and easily got Nanaba about of her restraints. Unfortunately the tall blonde was too tired to react, and so she merely fell to the floor once the chains no longer supported her weight. One of the women slipped her arms around her torso and tugged her up, and the other merely stood by and waited.

“Now, where is the Lucifer-born?” Aleksandr asked Krista.

Panic filled Krista’s veins. “I already told you! I don’t know!”

Aleksandr inclined her head and suddenly one of the women sent a punch into Nanaba’s stomach. The blonde released a wheeze of absolute pain and would have slumped forward, but her jaw was caught and then punched. She crumbled to the ground where she curled into a ball, coughing and gasping desperately for air.

“Where is the Lucifer-born?” Aleksandr demanded once more.

Krista felt tears streak down her face. “I…” She looked to Nanaba, heart dampened. “I don’t know.” She said. “Please, I’m telling you the truth.” Aleksandr’s grip on her jaw tightened and Krista gasped lightly.

“Beat her four more times,” Aleksandr ordered. She released Krista and then left the room, footsteps heavy as she walked. When the door slammed shut behind her, Krista forced herself to look away as Nanaba was beaten as instructed and then chained up once more. It was only after they had left and Nanaba had stopped coughing and wheezing, that Krista looked her way.

Her eye was beginning to swell, and multiple bruises lined Nanaba’s cheek and neck. She had her head bowed, blood dripping from her broken nose and split lip, dripping from her chin.

“It’s okay,” she gasped. “It’s not your fault.”

Krista’s eyes filled with new tears. “I’m so sorry Nanaba,” she uttered brokenly. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

Nanaba shook her head. “Don’t apologise. You’re telling them the truth.” She coughed once, flecks of blood falling to her feet. Though it was easier to breathe again, the pain was becoming worse.

Krista could say no more. Because of her Nanaba had ended up in this situation. Once again Krista wished for Ymir’s presence, and for Ymir to swoop in and save them.

She would not stop to realize that Ymir would not come to save them, and the situation was hopeless even if she had.

XxX

The encounters went much the same. Neither knew the passing of time, and only understood the fact that it had passed. Occasionally the same woman would visit with food and bread. She would feed them, clean them and clothe them when they had messed themselves. Sleeping was too painful, and so they barely managed much of it. Nanaba’s pain had lessened before Aleksandr had visited again.

The blonde woman had a routine. She would enter, approach Krista and speak to her only, demanding to know where Ymir was. Krista would reply the same way—that she didn’t know. Many tortures would therefore be inflicted on Nanaba, while Krista watched and yelled for them to stop.

Krista lost count of how many times the encounters had happened, and she grew a heavy fear of the sound of the door opening. When the woman came in to feed them, Krista had already begun to cry. Never had she felt so hopeless and powerless.

Along the horrid days she had begun to slowly realize that as much as she hoped for it, and as many times as she dreamt it, Ymir would not show up. Ymir wasn’t coming. Somehow they would either be released, or killed. At times Nanaba begged for the latter. Her many cuts and bruises ached and her body struggled to remain upright due to her exhaustion.

After the last interrogation, Nanaba having to endure more punches to her gut, Krista refused to cry. Though Nanaba’s pained gasps sent guilt through her in heaps, she was becoming desperate for hope. Since that day she began to observe her surroundings. She watched the woman that fed them closely, examined the mechanism of the door. There was also only one air vent on the ceiling, to her right, and the metal chair that always remained leaning on the wall opposite from where they hung.

Slowly Krista formulated her plan. She did not tell Nanaba of it until it was closing in on when Aleksandr would visit them once more. Hesitantly, Krista craned her neck to see Nanaba’s defeated form.

“Nanaba,” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

Chains clanged as Nanaba twisted her body to face Krista. Her face, no longer swollen, was mottled with bruises and dried blood. Even though she was exhausted, hearing Krista speak after so long seemed to spark the fire behind her eyes.

“I have a plan,” Krista explained. “When Aleksandr leaves, the woman always shows up to feed us. This time when she comes, I’ll need you to wrap your legs around her. While you have her I’ll use my feet to get the keys strapped to her belt. Can you do that?”

Nanaba licked her cracked lips. “Yeah, I can. What next?”

“You knock her out and take the keys from me. We get out of these chains, and then we use that chair to get into the air vent. If we can somehow make it out of here, then we can run away.”

Nanaba looked towards the chair, then the vent. The plan didn’t guarantee success, but it was definitely something—they had lacked any substantial hope since the first beating. Nanaba felt fired up, and so she grinned and nodded.

“Sounds like a brilliant plan. All we can do is try.”

Krista offered a reassuring smile. Truthfully, she was terrified. But she knew that they had to at least try. If they were going to be killed anyway, then they should at least have attempted to escape.

Some hours passed before Aleksandr finally visited them. Unlike the other times, Krista wasn’t as frightened. She had become accustomed to looking at the woman’s stoic face, and being forced to look into her icy eyes.

Aleksandr approached her as usual, and luckily no other demons accompanied her. This meant that Nanaba’s punishment would be administered herself, and Aleksandr hated using heavy force.

Nanaba had visibly relaxed, though her shoulder muscles were still tensing every so often.

“Good evening,” Aleksandr said in mock greeting. She swept her eyes over their forms, frowning. “You both stink,” she said.

Krista was tempted to retort that of course they would stink if they were forced to shit themselves until someone was forced to clean them. But she kept her tongue, more than aware that voicing her thoughts might even get them killed.

“You know why I am here,” Aleksandr began. “Where is the Lucifer-born?”

Krista took a breath. “I left her in Kenda. I do not know where she is from there.”

Aleksandr narrowed her eyes. “We have checked countless times, and there is no trace of her there. I will ask only one more time. Where is the Lucifer-born?”

Krista sent Nanaba an apologetic gaze and bit into her lip until it bled. Nanaba smiled back sadly. She nodded once, letting Krista know that it was okay.

“I d-don’t know,” Krista finally answered.

Aleksandr sucked in a deep, angry breath. She had dark circles underneath her eyes, indicating that she hadn’t been sleeping well lately. Krista wondered if it was because of them or other struggles. Whatever it was, it was causing Aleksandr extra stress, enough that the blonde had to quietly regain her cool before she decided on what to do.

“You disappoint me every single time,” she hissed lowly. She looked to Nanaba, and it seemed that she was simply too exhausted to even attempt to hurt her. So Aleksandr headed for the door, and threw over her shoulder, “tomorrow we will begin to chop fingers off. I am not playing a game with you. Enjoy your peace for the night, while it lasts.”

Nanaba swallowed loudly and cast Krista a glance. The woman that fed them entered then, just as Krista had predicted, and Krista nodded once, slowly, to let Nanaba know that they were definitely still doing this.

The woman, looking as bored and irritated as she did every time, approached Nanaba first with a cup of water. Before she could lift it to the blonde’s lips Nanaba’s legs wrapped around her throat. It took a lot of strength that Nanaba didn’t really have, but the fear of Aleksandr’s promise, and the hope of leaving sent adrenalin through Nanaba’s system. It allowed her the feat.

Krista jumped into action then and swung her body. The woman struggled, but by some miracle she managed to catch the ring of keys between her toes. Nanaba then twisted her neck, not even caring if she’d just killed the woman, and accepted the keys from the smaller blonde. After doing some stretches, Nanaba managed to unlock her chains, and then rushed to do the same for Krista.

At first Krista could not stand, since her legs were numb and weak. Her shoulders ached so much that she almost began to cry. But both of them clenched their teeth tightly and forced their bodies to move. Nanaba situated the chair and climbed onto it. She popped the vent open and gestured for Krista to approach her.

“I’ll lift you in first,” she said. Krista didn’t hesitate and through sheer will made it into the vent. Nanaba went next, and Krista assisted in pulling her in. They closed the vent, and then followed a pale shaft of light through various bends and twists. They made sure to keep their crawling quiet, but someone was bound to have discovered their escape by now.

Suddenly an alarm began, and both blondes froze in absolute panic. They heard footsteps thundering below them, as well as yelling. It sounded as though something had just happened somewhere behind them, and neither wanted to wait and see if it was because of them.

Krista found the opening that led to the side of the building, and forced the metal covering off. It clattered loudly to the cement floor below, and it caused them to cringe.

“It’s a long drop down,” Krista told Nanaba. “What do we do?”

Nanaba would have liked to see for herself, but couldn’t due to the small space they were in. The adrenalin was still coursing through her veins, so her mind still raced. “Is there maybe a large dustbin?”

Krista leaned further in to check, and felt relieved that there was. “Yeah, just below us.”

Nanaba sighed in relief. “Thank god. Krista, you’re gonna have to drop down into it.”

“What?!” Krista turned to Nanaba, panicked.

“It’s better than the floor.”

Krista swallowed and nodded. She couldn’t let her fear stop them now. Nanaba would be tortured in much more horrid ways if they did not escape now, so the little blonde grappled with her shredded courage and managed to do as Nanaba had instructed. Luckily the fall hadn’t been that long, and the landing not as painful as Krista had expected. She pulled her body out of the bin in time, and helped Nanaba out after she dropped in as well.

Unfortunately they couldn’t stop to enjoy the fresh air, because the sirens from inside frightened them and Nanaba urge that they continue on. They seemed to be in an empty courtyard, but the place was surrounded by tall wire fences. It was too tall to scale, and the top was layered with razor sharp barbs.

“Maybe we can find a way under it,” Krista suggested. She took Nanaba’s shaking hand and gently pulled her over to the edge of the gate. There she released her, and then began prodding along the metal. It shook lightly, but no one had noticed them yet. In fact, it seemed something serious was going on. Distant yelling echoed around them. It all sounded too serious to be about them, but still, Nanaba kept a diligent eye around them.

“Oh my god, I found it!” Krista exclaimed. She pulled at the gate and it almost lifted perfectly up at them. It seemed that it had been used often, and was hidden properly that no one noticed the stretching in the wires. “Quickly!”

Nanaba dropped down onto her stomach and crawled underneath the gate. Once on the other side she held it up, and Krista copied her actions. She dropped the gate after Krista was safe, and then the two began to run as quickly as they could, far away from the building they had been captive in for however much time had passed.

They soon found a highway beyond some trees, and after hours of walking, were picked up by an elderly couple. From there they were rushed to a hospital, and then Krista and Nanaba’s parents were both contacted, and chaos ensued.

XxX

They had been captive for a month.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Krista still couldn’t wrap her head around it. Everyone had panicked, some had spread awful rumours, and the police had been contacted. When they had finally been contacted of Krista and Nanaba’s discovery, the local news had been on the story like rabid dogs.

“Yeah, fine. Could you get me a bottle of water, though?”

Krista nodded hurriedly. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to Nanaba’s forehead. The blonde was snug in a hospital bed, arm in a sling and bandages around her face and neck. She had many broken ribs, too, and had been in the hospital since their arrival a week ago.

The small blonde left Nanaba’s side to find a vending machine. Their families were at home. They visited frequently, but Krista was the only one to demand that she stay. Her guilt and worry for Nanaba kept her by her side, and most of her knew that Nanaba would be too frightened alone, too. Krista was the only one that had suffered the horrors with her. They both suffered from nightmares, and when Nanaba woke screaming, Krista was the only one that could comfort her.

Krista found the vending machine a floor down, and slipped her money into it. She thought over everything as she selected a bottle of water.

In the end, Ymir hadn’t been there. The brunette hadn’t even known that Krista was in danger. Krista knew that, deep down, she had always understood that Ymir would no longer be there. In the beginning she had so desperately clung to the unhealthy obsession that Ymir would show up out of nowhere. If she had remained thinking that way, then they would not have escaped

The bottle dropped, and Krista bent to retrieve it. It was cold, and she walked slowly back to Nanaba.

Being through such terror, and on the possible brink of death, had allowed Krista to feel just an inkling of what had been Ymir’s life. She felt that she understood Ymir’s pain a little better now, and had decided to no longer feel anger towards the brunette for leaving.

As Ymir had said; _“We need to break on our own so that we can fix ourselves.”_

She had spent an entire month thinking about Ymir, cursing her, understanding her, dreaming of her and finally forgiving her. That month had broken her, and she, as well as Nanaba, would take many months more to fix themselves after that.

Ymir couldn’t fix her—she wouldn’t. Ymir was gone, and she would most likely not return. Though Krista still cried at night, and her heart ached for the one she loved, she knew—she knew that all she had left was to accept, and move on.

“I got your water!” Krista exclaimed as she entered the room.

Nanaba turned from watching the sunset and smiled. “Thanks,” she said as she reached out and took it. “It still feels weird to watch the sun. We were only gone for a month, but it felt like years.”

Krista took her permanent seat and turned with Nanaba to look at the descending sun. “Yeah, I feel like that too.”

“Looking at the sun makes me feel like I can almost close my eyes and not feel terror at the sound of an opening door.”

Krista swallowed. Her heart beat painfully. “Or that we won’t be woken suddenly by yelling.”

Nanaba only nodded. She rubbed a hand over her bandaged wrist, biting her lip. She relaxed eventually, and released a long sigh. No more words left them as the sun continued to disappear into darkness. They watched it in silence.

Krista wondered where Ymir was, and hoped with all her heart, that where ever she was, she was getting stronger. If those people were still after her, then Ymir would need it.

_I love you,_ Krista thought passionately. Images of Ymir’s smile filled her mind, and her heart burnt both pleasantly and painfully. _Even now, I still love you. If I had the choice, I’d love you to the end of time._

As the last of the sun’s rays winked out, Krista had the odd sensation that Ymir was somewhere out there watching the sun too. She pressed a hand to her chest. _I love you too, squirt. You were the only thing keeping me human._

A tear slipped down Krista’s cheek, and Nanaba didn’t notice it. Despite the pain, Krista smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for chapter VII: Time That Remains by Three Days Grace.

**VII**

* * *

Ymir’s eyes snapped open and she shot up in bed, hand pressed to her chest where her heart beat too hard. She gasped loudly, eyes blinking rapidly to keep the tears out of her eyes.

_What the hell?_ she thought, brows furrowing. _Was I crying?_

When she lifted a finger to touch her cheek, she felt slight wetness and flinched. Sure enough there were tears streaming down her face, and with a sigh she wiped the tears from her face before collapsing down onto her back.

“Shit,” she muttered softly.

It was still dark but warm, and she pressed a hand to her bare stomach. It was too warm for clothes, so she slept in nothing but boy shorts. Since getting to Anna, Ymir had undergone regular treatment with blood transfusions, a healthier diet and exercise. It had just been a month after arriving, and Ymir still felt like she was in a strange place even though she had warmed up to Amir considerably. Going through life without a proper parent for so long left her unequipped with the emotions to deal with one now. But Amir was really trying, and Ymir appreciated her for that.

Ymir found herself longing for Amir in the midst of her tears, so she shakily got onto her feet and searched for her discarded clothing. The house was large but Ymir had wondered around long enough in it to know her way around, so she found the kitchen with ease. Amir didn’t seem to be up, and so Ymir moodily pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water.

Thanks to the treatment, she hadn’t been sick in two weeks. Hanji had said that it would take a while for the effects of whatever drug they had put into Ymir to subside. Slowly but steadily Ymir could feel more strength seep into her body. She was no longer plagued by the demon nightmares—though ones of Krista remained—and her markings didn’t burn. In fact, Hanji had promised that they would never grow again, and Ymir was grateful for that.

Ymir sighed and leaned against the counter. She stared into the glass at her reflection, thinking of Krista. Was the blonde okay?

“You thinking of the blonde again?”

Ymir looked up and found Amir standing in the doorway in a t-shirt and boxers. “You were up?”

Amir pushed off from the door and took the glass from Ymir’s hand to drink the remains of the water. “I felt needed,” she said with a grin, “So I woke up instinctually and followed your scent here.”

Ymir smiled lightly but did not admit that she had hoped Amir would find her.

“How are you feeling?” Amir asked. She dropped the glass in the sink and placed a warm hand on Ymir’s shoulder.

“Hanji’s treatment is helping,” Ymir answered. “I feel stronger. There’s no pain anymore and I don’t feel like I’m about to change at any second.”

Amir smiled happily. She reached down to playfully poke Ymir’s stomach. “Well, when you’re all better and we’ve sealed you up, I’ll take you over to our training grounds.”

Ymir’s eyes narrowed and she swatted Amir’s hand away. “Stop doing that,” she growled, ignoring the chuckle sent her way. “And training for what?”

Amir clasped her hands together to keep from touching Ymir again, but lost control of herself and pulled the young brunette into her arms. “We need to teach you how to use and control your true form,” Amir explained into her shoulder.

Ymir was used to the sudden embraces, so she did not tense like she would have. Instead she sighed, rolled her eyes and hugged Amir in return. “Do you really have to hug me every chance you get?”

Amir nodded. “I’ve missed out on eighteen years of hugs.”

Ymir grew silent, and then Amir felt a sudden tightening of the hug. The taller brunette almost burst into tears, and she took a shaky breath as she lifted Ymir fully off of the ground, ignoring her protests.

“Hey! Let me down!” Ymir yelled, eyebrow beginning to tick.

Amir laughed and threw Ymir over her shoulder and then she trudged back towards Ymir’s room. “You, kiddo, need to rest. No more wondering around at three in the morning.”

Ymir continued to struggle. “Let me down, damnit!”

“Not if you ask that way.”

“I swear to god.”

“Language, Ymir. I’m still your father.”

“Then let me down, _father._ ”

Amir chuckled, clearly not going to. They passed by Ilse and Hanji’s bedroom.

“Dad!” Ymir yelled more out of reflex. She flushed lightly at having called Amir that. It did the trick though, and Amir paused almost immediately to drop Ymir back down onto her feet. Unfortunately Ymir had been pretty loud, and so the bedroom door swung open and Ilse appeared by the doorway, mostly nude except for Hanji’s shirt draped over her torso.

“Really?” she asked. “Having a father-daughter moment in front of my door?”

Amir straightened and looked to Ilse. “Did you hear that?!”

“Hear what?” Hanji asked, appearing behind Ilse. She wrapped her arms around the freckled woman and pressed a sleepy kiss to her cheek.

“She called me dad,” Amir told them, turning to grin proudly over at Ymir.

Ymir flushed further and rolled her eyes. “You’re all irritating as hell,” she growled in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. She quickly turned and stomped down the hallway to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Hanji tsked and Ilse turned to laugh against her shoulder. “Ymir has such a fiery personality,” the bespectacled woman said.

Amir sighed, looking where Ymir had disappeared to. “She reminds me so much of Damian.”

Ilse groaned lightly. “Can we continue with this tomorrow? I was having the best dream.” She turned to look at Amir, and smiled. “Go to your daughter, you big mush ball. Leave us to sleep.”

Hanji shrugged her shoulders at Amir’s gaze and allowed Ilse to drag her back off to bed. Amir waited until they had shut the door, and then she calmly walked over to Ymir’s room. She could hear pacing from inside, and knocked only once before she entered.

“You okay?” she asked.

Ymir paused by the window and exhaled lightly. She crossed her arms over her chest, wishing that she could just go back to sleep, but knowing that she was far too wound up. “Not really,” she said.

Amir could correctly guess the reason, so she took a seat on the bed and pulled her legs up underneath her. “Heartbreak, huh?”

Ymir rubbed at her chest and nodded. “I miss her.”

“And I’m sure she misses you. Why don’t you call her?”

Ymir sent Amir a glance. “I can’t just call her like nothing happened.”

Amir could see herself in Ymir’s sorrowful gaze, and it made her feel all the more relieved to actually _be there_ for her child in a time of need. “Come here,” she said softly, arms outstretched towards Ymir.

Ymir only hesitated for a moment, but then she gave in and sat down beside her father. She sighed lightly when those warm, secure arms encircled her, and found herself leaning into Amir for comfort. “It hurts,” she admitted softly.

“Love always hurts, kids,” Amir told her. “But through it we find the strength to endure.”

Ymir felt a question press at the tip of her tongue but held it. She was hesitant to ask, scared of revealing herself. But Amir was watching her closely and seemed to sense the young brunette’s need to know something that she was too afraid to ask.

“You can talk to me, Ymir.” Amir told her. “I love you. I’m your dad and I’d never make you feel ashamed or invalid for wanting to know something. Even if you need someone to kick the crap out of, I’m here if you need me.”

Ymir’s eyebrow lifted. “You’d let me kick you?”

“Only if you desperately need it,” Amir agreed. “But not for the hell of it.”

Ymir snorted in amusement, but then grew silent and serious, leaning a little more firmly against Amir’s solid form. “I, um…”

“I’m all ears.”

“Was it… uh… does it still hurt for you? About mo—Damian?” She almost slipped, but reined her tongue in just at the last moment. However, a light blush still crept along her cheeks and she hated but loved the sensation of childishness that filled her—a need to be held and comforted, loved and supported. It was scary enough that Ymir couldn’t fully bask in it.

Amir shrugged. “It did hurt a lot when your mother left. But she left to find you, so I understand her motivations. She’s the only person I’ve ever loved and even if she stays away for as long as she can, I’ll always love her and wait until she returns. Especially now. But there is no more need to wait. With you here we can look for her.”

Ymir perked, sitting up and away from Amir’s embrace. “Really?”

“We have a few leads, yes. Ilse has become really skilled at hacking and tracking. She’s got Damian to thank for that.”

“Is she okay?”

“Who? Your mother?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Physically she’s fine, but in danger. Emotionally I can’t say. She lost her baby after just meeting her. Damian had it worse than I did.”

For the first time Ymir felt a flicker of guilt. Her parents had spent her entire life searching for her, baring the guilt of letting her be subject to kidnap and emotional torment. Had she known then what she knew now, Ymir would have never cursed the people that had made her; would never have wished her suffering upon them—she now knew that they had suffered even more than she had. It was these thoughts that made a lump form in Ymir’s throat, and once more thoughts of Krista crept in as she wondered if the blonde was as loyal and patient. Would Krista wait for her, while she got her head and body together? Part of Ymir immediately shouted no. How could she? All Ymir had ever been was a headache, and that wasn’t thought out of some sense of self hatred. Ymir knew that she had been a heavy burden for Krista to carry, no matter how many times the little blonde exclaimed that she did not mind. The emotional weight had been there. Now lifted from it, surely Krista would get over her foolish infatuation and seek something healthy. Ymir wanted to be that person for her, but right now she wasn’t.

“Ymir, we won’t force to you stay here. All we desperately need to do is seal your power. Once that’s done, if you want to, you can leave and go back to your adopted family, and Krista.”

Ymir sighed and rubbed at her face. Suddenly it felt uncomfortably cold. “No,” she said. “If I ever want to be someone worth something I need to figure myself out. I can’t do that without you.” _And a big part of me isn’t ready to leave you yet. I don’t even really know you, but I need to._ The last part she dare not voice, because her quivering heart was already bombarded with too many doubts and too much pain.

Amir’s pleased smile made Ymir feel better. “That’s great!” She hugged Ymir to her, strong arms locking around Ymir’s back and preventing the young brunette from breaking away if she had wanted to. Ymir didn’t. In a move that surprised, she gave Amir just as enthusiastic a hug, and sighed lightly as if in exasperation. “When your body is rid of that poison and you’re healthy again, Hanji and I will perform the ritual.”

“How long will that take?”

Amir finally released her daughter, grinning stupidly even though the conversation was still serious. “We’ll ask Glasses tomorrow. For now, get back to sleep and give that poor brain of yours some rest.”

Ymir huffed, no longer inclined to do so. She had been planning on going to sleep anyway, but now that Amir had told her to, she felt no desire. “I’ll sleep when I want to.”

Amir laughed as she stood from the bed. She gave Ymir a loving pat on the head and then headed for the door, stretching and yawning loudly as she did. Ymir realized then that Amir was just as tired but had been hiding it. With a great heave of a sigh, and a slight twist of her gut, Ymir called out for Amir to stop.

Amir paused and glanced over her shoulder. “Need something else, kiddo?”

“It’s, um…” Ymir looked down at her lap. “I’m lonely. Stay?” The admission was quiet, small. Ymir looked nothing like her normally imposing self, and she looked very much the small child she felt like. Her spirit lifted when Amir climbed onto the bed and then roughly pulled her into another comforting hug.

“Right now, it’s you and me until we get your mom back,” Amir murmured softly. “Can you hold out until then?”

Ymir’s eyes widened slightly. She knew then that Amir could tell—she knew that Ymir was afraid but desperate to fill the hole that had been in her heart for so long.

“Will _you?”_

Amir appreciated the subtle dodge, so she let the conversation slide and relaxed. Sighing lightly, she closed her eyes. A moment later, as she was about to drop off to sleep, she felt Ymir’s cheek press against her chest. Just as a smile flashed across her lips, Ymir spoke softly.

“Goodnight, Amir.” There was a pregnant pause. “Dad.” And then she relaxed as well, breathing evening out until she was asleep.

Amir lifted an arm to drape it over her eyes, hiding the painful tears that spilled across her cheeks. She then had no choice but to press her palm against her mouth to quiet her sobs, and hoped with all her might that the shaking of her shoulders would not wake the very vulnerable Ymir urging comfort from her. Amir wished that Damian was there, to hold her and let her cry. But she wasn’t, and Ymir was. That much gave her enough support to quiet the chokes leaving her throat, but her eyes did not dry. Amir fell asleep to her tears, and even as she slept, a few more slipped out and moistened the pillow underneath her head.

XxX

It was a wonderful relief to finally step out of the stuffy hospital and into the fresh afternoon air. Nanaba still had her arm in a sling and stitches that needed removing, but she felt leagues better than she had a week ago. Now was time for her to move forward and attempt to pick up her broken emotions. At least she had someone by her side that knew how to help.

Krista smiled softly as she spotted Nanaba leaving through the hospital’s double doors. She pushed away from the car—borrowed from her parents—and stepped forward to offer Nanaba a hand if she needed it. Nanaba declined it politely with the shake of her head and leaned down to give the small blonde a one armed hug.

“It feels great to get out of that prison.”

Krista sighed in understanding and straightened when they parted. “It must be. I managed to convince both of our parents that am capable of bringing you home. How do you feel?”

Nanaba had the strange urge to lie, but shook her head and decided that of all people, Krista was the most reliable person she had. Besides, holding it all in would do more damage than not. “Besides the nightmares? Fantastic.”

Krista’s smile faltered and then dropped. She opened the door for Nanaba, allowing the tall blonde to close it herself, and then headed to the driver’s side. She said nothing as she started the car and continued her silence as they left the street, heading for Nanaba’s home. Eventually Nanaba grew uncomfortable with the silence.

“How are you doing, Krista?” Krista had been careful of Nanaba’s feelings ever since they had been taken, and even though Nanaba had received most of the torture, she knew that Krista had dealt with painful emotions the entire time. Emotional wounds could be just as great as physical ones, and they often took longer to heal.

Krista shrugged. “I wake up screaming. I think my parents are getting sick of it. They want me to see a shrink, but I can’t. Not when half of the story is too difficult to believe. They’ll have me admitted to the nearest facility.”

Nanaba flinched. She understood entirely. Though Ymir’s weirdness had allowed her family some immunity to it, Nanaba was sure that they wouldn’t take too kindly to her shouting about strange creatures known as demons. Nanaba wondered if there would ever be anyone other than Krista that would believe her, and felt pity for the little blonde if she felt just as alone. But that didn’t compare to how much pain Ymir must have felt. Nanaba had never clued in.

Since Ymir had joined their family, the brunette had been bitter and harsh. Nanaba had taken an instant liking to her despite the fact that Ymir insulted her with everything under the sun whenever the blonde had tried to befriend her. It had taken a while until Ymir learnt to simply tolerate her existence. Nanaba was sorely jealous of Krista for having been allowed so close to Ymir’s heart—she knew that it was a place she would never be allowed to visit. At least Ymir had someone, she knew. Someone was better than simply herself.

Krista gave Nanaba a sidelong look, mulling something over that had been bothering her for a while, even when they had been captive and chained. “Nanaba,” she started lightly, eyes returning to the road. “There’s something I’ve been wondering.”

“Hmm?”

“When I told you about Ymir, why did you accept it so easily? There must have been a big part of you that thought I was crazy.”

Nanaba turned to stare out of the window, her free hand gripping onto the fabric of her pants. “I watched Ymir a lot,” she admitted. Krista’s eyes widened but she quickly schooled her expression. “She fascinated me from the beginning. Like this enigmatic puzzle screaming to be solved. But she was terrible at building relationships. For most of our life together, Ymir was cursing my existence. She eventually learnt how to tolerate me, but it never went farther than that.” She sighed sadly. “Because of my curiosity I watched her to try and get some sort of idea of what kind of person she was.”

_Nanaba didn’t want to admit that what she was doing was bizarre. But she crept forward anyway, desperate to step into Ymir’s room for the first time. Her parents had brought the brunette home only two months ago, and though Nanaba had been inside of the empty room before, she hadn’t entered it when it became Ymir’s. Ymir was strange and difficult, and Nanaba wanted to know more about her. She wanted to see what made Ymir,_ Ymir. _The only thing she could think of to do was to sneak into her room. She was supposed to be at school, but her parents weren’t home and no one would know. It wasn’t like she had a chance when Ymir was home, anyway._

_When she entered the room she was surprised and concerned when nothing but darkness greeted her. Apparently Ymir had asked for the thickest, darkest curtains that assured not one ray of light would get through. Nanaba worried that she would trip over herself, and hoped that Ymir was less of a mess regarding the state of her room. But she made it some way into the room without incident when she felt the strange, terrifying sensation of someone watching her. There was no one but her, she was sure, but she looked around just in case despite not being able to see anything._

_To the right corner of the room something caught Nanaba’s attention. She looked there and froze, blooding rushing and freezing at the same moment. Two red orbs stared at her, narrowed and almost angry. At first Nanaba wondered if they were maybe from a piece of technology, maybe a TV or DVD player, but then they moved, rising higher and not separating. Nanaba stood and stared, riveted and panicked. Her heart thumped, hands clenching and throat dry. What the hell was that?_

_As they drew closer, Nanaba found that the colour changed from light red to darker red and then to black, almost shifting. The way they moved suggested footsteps, and then Nanaba heard the sound of feet on the floor and she straightened. When she heard a voice she almost bolted._

_“What are you doing in my room?”_

_Despite it being so early still, Nanaba recognized that voice. She could not find her own and could only stare as Ymir stared at her, eyes so red that they could not be normal. When she eventually found her voice, it was strangled._

_“I… I thought…” Her lower lip quivered._

_Ymir seemed to growl almost inhumanly. The red eyes suddenly zoomed closer, far too quickly for Nanaba to process, and then the blonde felt large, hot hands press to her chest and push her backwards. The force was tremendous, enough to push her right out of Ymir’s room and against the wall in the hallway. She landed against it painfully, wind rushing out of her lungs. When she slid to the floor, out of breath and panting, Ymir stepped up to the doorway._

_“Leave me alone,” she growled lowly. Her eyes were shifting more excitedly, and if Nanaba had been able to see her face, she would have noticed the way Ymir’s jaws clenched, muscles bunching up._

_Nanaba gasped for breath, an arm pressed to her chest. She met Ymir’s gaze, fear filling her. The door then slid shut slowly, Ymir’s eyes never leaving her face. Before her eyes disappeared into the darkness, Nanaba caught the sight of torment in them. And then the door was closed, and Nanaba was left reeling, in pain and baffled. There was no way to logically explained what she had just seen, and she was sure that Ymir hadn’t had red eyes when she had first arrived._

“That must have been unnerving,” Krista commented softly.

Nanaba continued. “I was scared of her after that. For a few weeks I gave up my goal of getting to know her and I buried myself in school work. Ymir noticed it, but she didn’t care. Honestly, she looked relieved every time I headed to my room instead of after her, thinking that she didn’t sense me follow.”

“And then?”

“A few months later I ended up convincing myself that I had either been dreaming, or that what I had seen was a trick of the eye. While I didn’t follow Ymir anymore, I did try to befriend her again. She ignored all my efforts and insulted me when I would press too far. Ymir also bunked school a lot. When I was home early due to exams, I figured that out the hard way. That day I learnt that what I had seen wasn’t my imagination. I also realized that something very bad was going on with Ymir.”

_She was glad to be home early. Unfortunately she had forgotten to let her parents know and ended up having to ask a friend to drop her off at home. At least she didn’t have to walk, and Nanaba was mulling that thought over gratefully as she dropped her bag down on the couch and headed into the kitchen to get a snack. Halfway there she paused upon hearing a loud thump down the hall. Nanaba’s heart shot into her throat._

_“Mom?” she called out. “Dad?” She waited a while, hearing nothing more. She wondered if maybe she had imagined it, but decided against relaxing in case someone was in the house. Being decidedly braver than she naturally was, Nanaba retrieved a bat that Marco had left beside the couch, and slowly entered the hallway. There was another loud sound, like a body hitting the floor, and it came from Ymir’s room. Uncertain and scared, Nanaba inched her way until she shakily threw the door open. Nanaba had to suck in a deep breath before she reached out bravely and flipped the light switch, and then she dropped the bat and hurried over to Ymir’s seemingly unconscious form._

_“Ymir!”_

_The brunette was flat on her stomach, eyes closed and lids twitching. Nanaba could see her clutching at her chest, and on the floor was a pool of blood. Panic swept through Nanaba and she hurriedly felt Ymir’s throat for a pulse just in case. Ymir groaned before Nanaba felt her heartbeat, and when she did she was alarmed at how hard and quickly it was pumping._

_“Ymir! What happened?”_

_She hesitantly pushed Ymir over onto her back, scanning her skin for any injuries. She looked pointedly at Ymir’s wrists for any cuts, but found none—not even scars. Thank heavens Ymir wasn’t a cutter, or the suicidal type. Nanaba had heard enough stories at school about that certain topic to know that it trended among people of her age._

_“No,” Ymir said softly, painfully. She hadn’t been unconscious. Her chest heaved and sweat slicked across her face. She turned onto her side, arms pressing to her stomach, and then heaved as she vomited again. Nanaba was about to turn away, but then she saw that what come up was a flood of blood and not contents of Ymir’s stomach._

_“Y-Ymir, hold on. I’ll call an ambulance right now. Did you eat something bad? Are you injured? What happened?”_

_Nanaba held her phone in her hand but paused before starting the call. Ymir was looking at her, eyes so tired and defeated._

_“No,” Ymir groaned. “Just leave. I’m fine.”_

_Their parents had warned her that Ymir was often sick, but was this the extent of it?_

_“How the hell are you fine?” Nanaba shouted. She regretted it when Ymir flinched. “You just vomited blood. You might have internal bleeding!”_

_Ymir laughed in amusement. It seemed out of place and odd considering the circumstances. “Trust me,” Ymir said. “This is not the first time and it won’t be the last.” She quickly deflated, once more becoming exhausted and weak. She panted softly, eyes squeezing shut. “Please, just leave me alone.”_

_Nanaba didn’t want to leave her lying on the floor on her own, in her blood. So she leaned down and slipped her arms underneath Ymir’s body. Before she could lift her, Ymir reacted violently and shoved her away._

_“Get the fuck away from me!” she roared, standing now. Her eyes flashed darkly and Nanaba scrambled to her feet._

_“Let me help you!”_

_“Piss off!”_

_Ymir stalked towards her, smeared with dark blood, panting and in pain. It was a scary sight anyway, and Nanaba hurried out of the room. When the door slammed, she leaned against it, forehead pressing to the cool wood. Beyond she could hear the sounds of Ymir’s pained groaning and then more retching._

_That night Nanaba asked her parents if it was normal, and they told her that it was. They looked so sad when they spoke to Nanaba about Ymir’s condition, so the blonde decided not to speak to them about it again. Apparently it was worse than what she had seen, and no doctor could cure it. What Ymir had was unknown, and Nanaba became determined to figure out how to help her adoptive sister, no matter what._

Nanaba grew silent, contemplating. She had never shared this with anyone before, and while it brought up old, painful memories, if felt good to release them.

“What else happened?” Krista asked, more curious than she should have been. She felt a strange desire to know all of what Ymir was before they met. It made her feel like she was allowed a little bit closer to Ymir.

“After that I saw her markings.” Nanaba traced the pattern over her clothed chest. “It was so weird and she was so angry.”

“She was like that with me too,” Krista stated.

“No surprise there.” She sighed. “I always wondered if I was just going crazy. No one else seemed to stop and wonder what Ymir really was, you know? When you told me, you lifted a weight from my shoulders. You finally gave a name to what I had been suspecting.”

“That Ymir isn’t human,” Krista suggested.

Nanaba nodded. Her arm suddenly itched, and she resisted the urge to tend to the irritation.

“Was it as difficult for you?” Nanaba asked.

Krista’s smile was sad. “Yeah, it was.”

“But she let you in eventually.”

“She did, and it was worth it.”

“I miss her.” Nanaba looked down at her lap sadly. “I wish that she confided in me. I could have been there for her.”

Krista agreed, but she remained silent. They finally reached Nanaba’s home, and she switched the engine off with a deft twist of her fingers. “Can I sleep over tonight?” she asked. Surprisingly, there was not a hint of hesitation or embarrassment.

“Into blondes now, huh?” Nanaba joked. She was glad when emotion finally bled into Krista’s solemn face. “Sure. My parents love you anyway, just be warned that they might get the wrong idea.”

Krista frowned. “Why would they?”

Nanaba smiled as she opened the door and climbed out. “Because more than likely you’ll be in my bed tonight.” Her smile faded, followed by pained, haunted eyes.

Krista didn’t disagree. She nodded. “I haven’t slept much lately. Maybe having you there will help.” _But it isn’t Ymir. I wish she was here._

Nanaba rubbed a hand through her hair, reminded that it had grown too long and she would need a haircut soon. “Will you come over later? I can even come over to your place if you want.”

Krista shook her head quickly. “My parents are annoying. I’ll stop by at eight.”

Nanaba sighed. “Okay. Be safe.” The worry in her eyes comforted Krista to some level. Nanaba knew what she knew, had experienced what she had. There was no one else that she could look upon, no one else that could comfort her—except Ymir, but that ship had sailed and sunk, and it was time that she stopped sinking with it.

Krista did not want to drown. She wanted to swim.

XxX

“So the doc says the poison is gone,” Amir stated in relief, patting Ymir’s bare back. The young brunette sat shirtless on a bed in Hanji’s medical room. A small tube ran from her arm to a machine, and she grimaced as Amir carefully removed the instrument and then placed a plaster against the wound—it would heal in a moment.

“Thank fuck,” Ymir muttered.

“Language,” Amir chastised.

“Sorry.”

“Put your shirt back on. We’re having breakfast with the nerd squad.”

Ymir snorted softly as she obeyed and pulled her grey cotton shirt over her torso. Amir finished up with the equipment.

“When can you do the ritual thing?”

They left the room, making a turn down the hall into the living room. “We’ll explain when we do it,” Amir answered. “But don’t worry, we won’t eat your heart or anything.” Ymir pressed a hand to her chest as she remembered when her heart had been torn out. Amir grimaced when she noticed, realizing that her joke hadn’t been a good idea. “Sorry.”

Ymir snorted. “It’s fine.”

From the living room they made their way to the front door. The drive from the private home and into the city was a quiet affair, aside from a little bit of bickering over which radio station to switch it to. The decision had been to rather keep the radio off, and the two had sat in companionable silence. Apparently there was a really popular breakfast café in the city, and Hanji and Ilse had insisted Ymir and Amir join then there for something to eat. Ymir hadn’t wanted to go, but Amir’s pleading expression had broken her resolve.

“I should just warn you,” Amir began as she switched the car’s engine off just after parking it as close to the café as she could. “This place is frequented by our kind only.”

Ymir was already out of the car and she paused just after slamming the door shut. “No shit. So, more demons?”

“Yup.” Amir smiled gently and winked as Ymir walked around the car to her side. “But some of them won’t bite.”

“Some of them?”

“There might be one or two that have tried to seduce me over the years. They might react a little more strongly to a younger version of me.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Yeah right.”

Amir laughed, shaking her head, and opened the door of the café as they arrived by it. She let Ymir enter first and then she headed in behind her. Though Ymir hadn’t noticed, Amir loomed by her back like a protective shadow already warning everyone to stay away. Luckily Ymir noticed Hanji and Ilse pretty quickly, thanks to the fact that the couple were arguing loudly as they leaned together in front of a laptop. The pair of tall brunette’s approach them, wearing equal and almost identical expressions of amusement.

“Good morning,” Amir interrupted, smirking.

“Having fun without us?” Ymir asked. She and Amir shared a look as they seated themselves opposite the couple, and then they snickered.

“Oh ho, look at you two,” Hanji countered, face slightly flushed with anger but amusement clearly in her eyes, “Mirroring each other already!”

Amir was pleased by the thought while Ymir immediately deflated, crossed her arms over her chest and then slunk down in her seat. “Do no,” she mumbled.

“Come on Ymir, don’t sulk.” Amir reached out to tap Ymir on the nose, chuckling at the way her daughter turned to give her a fiery glare afterwards.

“So why are we here and not having breakfast at the house?” Ymir asked, this time looking at Ilse and fully ignoring the other two adults seemingly amused by her sulking.

“Well, I just came for the coffee and Hanji wants to show you off.”

“To who?”

As if summoned, a large figure suddenly appeared by their table, and the speed at which Amir stood almost had Ymir alarmed enough to launch to her feet too. But then Amir laughed, and Ymir’s muscles relaxed.

“Well I’ll be damned!” Amir said, her smile stretched wide. She opened her arms and then almost fell into the newly arrived stranger’s embrace. The woman didn’t seem bothered by the contact but she didn’t seem exceptionally pleased either—more like she was simply used to it.

“Amir,” the woman said, and her voice was deep and grating in a pleasant way that surprised Ymir. It was a voice she had never heard on a woman before, but it was strong and fantastic. “And… Amir?” The woman was looking to Ymir, a question on her face.

Amir almost threw the woman across the room as she shoved her aside to pull Ymir out of her seat. The young brunette could only yelp before she was put onto her feet, and then a long arm wrapped around her shoulder and she was pressed into a familiar one-armed hug. Instinctively Ymir wrapped an arm around Amir’s waist out of habit and to keep her balance.

“Ymir, this is a very good friend of mine, Liache.” Amir swept her hand around in front of her, indicating that Ymir should observe the woman in front of them. Ymir did.

She was frighteningly tall. If Krista had been there, no doubt the little blonde would have startled and felt intimidated. But Ymir was only slightly shorter than her, and Liache barely stood higher than Amir. The woman’s was naturally stoic but her eyes, scarlet red, softened at Ymir’s inspection. She was impossibly pale as well, with choppy ashen hair that just touched the back of her neck.

“And Liache, this is my daughter, Ymir,” Amir finally concluded. She exuded so much happiness and pride that Liache couldn’t help but chuckle as she held her hand out, smiling.

“Congratulations on finally finding her,” she told Amir. “And hi to you, Ymir. It’s good to finally meet you.”

Ymir swallowed lightly at being put on the spot. When she clasped palms with Liache, she was surprised by the strength of her grip. “Sure, you too.”

Liache finally showed emotion on her face—amusement. “Ah, she’s just like you,” the demon commented. “More with looks than personality though.”

Amir nodded and looked to Ymir to smile her way. “Yeah, she has a lot of Damian in her.”

“I should be heading out now. I’m late for a meeting. It was nice to see you, Amir. Take care.” Liache politely nodded her head at both of them and left quickly. Her walk was so easy and confident that Ymir found herself stuck watching until the woman was gone. The pair sat down again, and then a sudden seriousness finally took the table.

“Now that the fun is over,” Hanji began. “Amir, there’s a real reason we called you here.”

Ilse looked up from her laptop, shared a nervous look with Hanji, and then slowly turned her laptop until the screen was facing Amir. “I found something last night,” she said.

Amir went absolutely still. Ymir noticed with concern, so she placed a hesitant hand on Amir’s shoulder and then leaned in to see what had caused the tension. It took a few moments for her to make sense of what she was seeing, and then a strange sensation filled both her heart and mouth and she suddenly tasted metal.

“Damian,” Amir breathed, eyes shining as if with tears. “You said you found this last night?”

Ilse nodded. “One of my cameras managed to match her face. She was seen entering this hotel just after midnight.”

“That’s just in the next town.”

Hanji had a concerned crease along her forehead. Like Ymir had done earlier, she reached over and pressed her warm palm against Amir’s shoulder. “Amir, we can’t go after her yet. You have to focus on Ymir now.”

Amir swallowed loudly, and there was obvious tension in her jaw. Ymir expected her to disagree and explode with shouting, or to even cry. She didn’t—she simply nodded once and closed her eyes, breathing steadily to remain calm.

“You’re right. I have to help my daughter first. When we go after Damian, it will be dangerous. Ymir needs to know how to fight.”

Ilse hated seeing Amir so upset, especially after looking to Ymir and seeing the young brunette just as distressed. It was Ymir’s first time seeing what her mother looked like, and though the screenshot was barely anything to go by, it must have been a shock anyway.

“I will keep track of her,” Ilse promised. She waited for Amir’s pained eyes to meet hers before she continued. “I already sent a few contacts to the hotel. She hasn’t left yet. The moment she does I will be contacted with her next location. I have eyes everywhere, Amir. I will stick to her trail and find out what she’s doing and where she plans on going. I’ll even try to get a message through to her. Maybe if she hears that we have Ymir, she’ll come back.”

Amir’s smile was painful to look at. “Thank you,” she breathed. Without warning she stood and left, posture slumped and defeated. Ymir wanted to go after her, but felt at a loss. How in the hell was she supposed to comfort her father? She didn’t even know how to comfort herself.

“Just give her some time,” Hanji suggested. She flagged a waiter down. “Have some breakfast with us and we’ll head home afterwards. Amir will be there in the gym, working out her anger and frustration.”

Ymir sighed, shrugging. “It’s not like I care.”

Hanji hummed lightly, grinning. “Sure thing, freckles the second.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Baby freckles?”

“No.”

“Amir’s biological achievement?”

“Oh my god. Seriously, stop it.”

Ilse slapped Hanji’s side. “Leave the kid alone,” she chastised.

“Thank you!” Ymir exclaimed, throwing her hands up.

“Alright. Kill joy.” Hanji pouted and Ilse leaned over to kiss it away. When Hanji perked the waiter finally came over, and though Ymir wanted to argue some more, she couldn’t help but look towards the café doors and wonder if Amir was alright.

XxX

That night Nanaba found herself in the strange predicament of being awake when everyone else was asleep. She was in her own room, but Krista was there beside her, sleeping peacefully. Nanaba wondered if the small blonde’s sleep really was as peaceful as it looked on the outside. She knew how terrible the nightmares could be.

Sighing, Nanaba quietly slipped out of bed and made her way out of her room. Krista was still asleep, so she was quiet as she closed the door behind her. It was utterly silent throughout the house. Nanaba’s soft footsteps almost sounded too loud, but she felt like she needed a glass of water and maybe a sleeping pill, so she endured it and padded all the way to the kitchen herself. As she made it to the island counter, a sudden memory struck her, and Nanaba paused to press her palm to the cool surface of the counter. She remembered how one night Ymir had stumbled out here, panting and desperate. Sometimes Nanaba struggled to sleep and would often walk around the house to tire herself out, stopping by for water on her way back if she needed it. Ymir had caught her just as she had placed an empty glass in the sink.

  _“Ymir?”_ _Nanaba had asked._

_Ymir stepped forward, her eyes were open, wide and glowing, but she did not seem herself. She had an arm pressed firmly to her stomach and Nanaba wondered if she had hurt herself again or if she was sick._

_“Are you hurt?” the blonde asked. By now she had already seen many strange things with Ymir, so the sight of her glowing red eyes wasn’t alarming. What was worrisome was the vacant way Ymir stared at her. “Ymir?”_

_But the brunette ignored her, standing while she panted, staring. Eventually she just turned and headed back to her room, from where she came. The door closed so softly that Nanaba didn’t hear it, and as she stood there staring into the darkness, she caught herself wondering if she had even seen Ymir to begin with._

Nanaba found herself standing by the doorway of Ymir’s room. Nothing remained as it had when Ymir was here. Their parents had decided to pack everything up and use the room for something else. Arguing hadn’t helped—her parents were adamant. It was painful to stand there and see Ymir’s stuff shoved into boxes. Nanaba wondered how long the boxes would sit in their garage until they were given away or tossed out.

“It hasn’t even been that long,” Nanaba whispered. “Do they really believe that she’ll never come back?” But even as she said it, Nanaba knew. Her gut told her that Ymir was out there doing something more important. Ymir wouldn’t return.

Sighing, Nanaba shut the light off and then lightly closed the door. She had decided not to take a pill. Going through her memories hurt and this one had drained her energy. So she walked quietly back to her room, almost grateful at the prospect of getting back into the bed next to Krista. But the moment Nanaba shut the door, she was startled when Krista suddenly released a scream, sitting up and thrashing about. Nanaba was by her side instantly, holding her arms down and speaking calmly into her ear until she calmed. Long minutes passed by until Krista finally quieted, and then she began to sob softly, enveloped gently in Nanaba’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” she said between sobs. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” Nanaba rub slow circles against her back, chin resting on the top of Krista’s head.

“I don’t know.” Krista had her arms around Nanaba, so she tightened them and buried her face more firmly against Nanaba’s chest. “I’m just so scared right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep alone again.”

Nanaba felt the same. “Come on, let’s get into bed and relax. I’ll stay awake with you.”

Krista nodded and rested back down. As soon as Nanaba was under the covers, Krista pressed to her side, grabbing handfuls of her shirt, and buried her face against Nanaba’s neck. They remained silent, finding comfort in each other. The silence around them was almost unbearable, but their breathing eased it some, and eventually Krista’s shuddering stopped.

“I’m sorry,” the blonde whispered.

Nanaba wrapped her arms around Krista’s small form and sighed lightly. “I’m the last person you need to apologise too. I understand exactly what you’re going through.”

Krista chuckled lightly. “You’re right. I’m just so used to keeping everything to myself that it feels weird to share the burden with someone.”

Nanaba gently rubbed a hand down Krista’s back, quietly soothing her. She thought of Ymir and what the brunet must have gone through, and then of Krista and the blonde’s strength to have dealt with all of it on her own. A frown touched her lips, and a sudden indescribable sense of protectiveness took over her.

“Don’t ever do that again, okay?” Nanaba told her. Krista pulled away from her to look at her face, concerned. “Don’t even burden yourself like that. If you need anything, I’m here to help you.”

Krista smiled, though it was sadly. She pulled closer again and rested her cheek against Nanaba’s chest. It wasn’t Ymir’s, and though Nanaba’s scent was pleasant, it wasn’t Ymir’s. The warmth was comforting, but not Ymir’s. Krista couldn’t help but compare Nanaba to Ymir, and she caught herself doing it with a frown—she couldn’t dictate Nanaba’s worth by comparing her to Ymir. Nanaba didn’t deserve that.

“Do you think she’s okay?” Nanaba suddenly voiced. Her voice was quiet, hesitant.

“I don’t know,” Krista answered. Part of her wanted to say _of course she is, it’s Ymir! Ymir can do anything!_ But then she caught her tongue and bit into her lip. _No, Ymir can’t. She’s still prone to fault, and above all she isn’t immortal or untouchable._

Nanaba sighed. “Part of me doesn’t want to know. I feel like, as long as I just don’t know where she is and what she’s doing, I’ll be okay. But then the worry kills me, and I feel like never knowing will keep me up at night.”

“Besides the nightmares we already have.”

Nanaba nodded. “Yeah. And about that… Krista… lately I’ve been thinking about moving out. I wanted to stay with my parents to help with Ymir and finish my studies, but Ymir is gone and I’m becoming more of a nuisance for them.”

“Will you get a job?”

“I’ve already left my CV at a few places. As soon as I’m hired somewhere I’ll get a place and move out.”

“That’s nice. I wish I could do that. I think I’m really starting to worry my parents. They’re relieved when I come here every day.”

Nanaba gave Krista’s back another comforting rub. “Do you really feel that way? That you want to move?”

“I do.”

Nanaba swallowed lightly, mouth suddenly dry. She couldn’t fathom why her heart was suddenly thudding, but it was, and Krista could most definitely hear it. And she did, Nanaba knew, when she sat up lightly and pressed a hand to Nanaba’s chest.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… nothing is wrong, it’s just… there’s something I want to ask you.” She sat up, gently holding onto Krista so that the blonde on top of her didn’t fall over. Krista situated herself comfortably atop Nanaba’s lap, and then she pressed her ear to the tall blonde’s chest again.

“Ask me.”

“If… when I move out, would you consider moving in with me? It’s nothing weird,” Nanaba quickly clarified. Her heart was beginning to thunder “It’s just, I don’t want to stay with my parents but I definitely can’t be alone. You’ll finish school soon. If you can get a part-time job, then you can help with expenses and study further if you want to.”

“There isn’t really something that I want to study,” Krista told her. “I just always moulded my life around Ymir, expecting to be with her forever, living for her. I was wrong, and now I’m left wondering what I actually want in life.” She sighed softly, tightening her fists in the front of Nanaba’s shirt. Even through the fabric she could feel Nanaba’s frantic heartbeat, and it reminded her of just how fragile the both of them were. Instead of making her uncomfortable, it swept Krista up in a blanket of warmth and she found herself wrapping her arms around Nanaba’s neck and hugging her tightly. “But yes, I’d love to move in with you as soon as you get a place. I’ll find a job somewhere too, maybe even by my father’s company. They want me to take it over one day, anyway.”

Nanaba was trembling, but she pressed her forehead to Krista’s slightly bare shoulder, marvelling at the warmth. She had never been this physically close to a person, and it felt amazing, comforting and warm all at once. Nanaba didn’t want to think about what she might be starting to feel. All she focused on was the fact that Krista was so small but her grip was strong, and though there was so little of her, she was very warm. Her answer made Nanaba smile in relief, and she collapsed onto her back. Krista gasped in surprise, and then she rolled over onto her back, giggling. The two of them stared up at the dark ceiling.

“Nanaba, what are we doing?” She searched along she sheets beside her for something, and when she found it she felt like maybe she would be able to sleep again.

Nanaba smiled as her fingers enclosed around Krista’s. “We’re doing what broken people do—scrambling around to fix ourselves, even if we use other people.” There were things she wanted to say and bring up, but she dared not to touch on them. What she had with Krista… it was strange and new, but the prospect of losing it before she even understood what it was terrified her. Perhaps Krista felt the same.

“I wish Ymir was here,” Krista sighed, tears slowly forming by her eyes. She wiped at them quickly, but somehow Nanaba sensed their presence. The tall blonde curled around her, reaching up to run a hand through her hair, the way that always helped Krista calm down enough to sleep.

“Me too,” Nanaba told her softly. “Go to sleep. She’ll be in your dreams.”

Krista nodded once, drinking in Nanaba’s offered comfort, and then she dropped off into sleep. Nanaba fell soon after.

XxX

“It’s all about your genetics,” Hanji explained manically, fiddling with her equipment as she spoke.

“Genetics?” Ymir asked. She turned to her father, who was sitting beside Ilse in the large space of Hanji’s medical room.

“Genes have these switches,” Hanji added. “I have done extensive research on our kind specifically and have discovered the scientific explanation to the sealing technique. For centuries our people thought it magic, but really, it was all about genes and turning certain switches off. For normal demons, those switches are already off—for you they’re all on.”

“And this is supposed to seal my powers away?”

Amir shrugged. “Not really sealing per say, it’s more like we’re switching off your Lucifer-genes and turning you into a normal demon.”

“So I’ll still be all demon-y?”

Hanji laughed outright. “You’ll still be naturally stronger than us, but yeah, normal.”

“How much stronger?”

“Think of it like this,” Amir said, getting up to stand by Ymir’s side. “Right now you have the equivalent strength of one hundred demons at once. When we turn those switches off, you’ll have the power of about four to five demons.”

Ymir absorbed the information, silently reeling. She had never realized that she was so strong—or maybe she had in some sense, but to have such a proper explanation made it all the more real.

“And how are we going to do this?”

“It’s a long process. We’re different to humans despite looking very similar,” Hanji said. “But we’ll be using your father’s blood and some of my magic medicine.”

Ymir’s nose crinkled. “Do I have to drink it?”

“Goodness no!” Ilse explained. Ymir sighed in relief.

“We’ll inject the serum directly into your veins,” Hanji concluded. She finally finished with what she was doing, and then she pulled her surgical gloves off, successfully tossed them into the bin across the room and snapped a silver briefcase closed. “I’ve already made them. It will take three days.”

Hanji made to leave the room, but paused just before the door and slapped a hand against Amir’s chest. “Get these items for me, will you? We’ll need them.”

Ymir leaned forward and glanced at the paper now in Amir’s hand. “Candles? Incense? I thought this wasn’t some weird magic thing.”

“It’s not,” Amir clarified. “It’s just a sort of tradition. Hanji likes being dramatic too.”

“You can use my card if you want, I don’t care. When you get back we’ll start the sealing. Oh, Ymir, you’re not allowed to eat during these three days.”

“What?!”

“It’ll knock you out anyway,” Amir told her. She pressed a hand to Ymir’s back to comfort her. “But we will be right by your side, every step of the way. When you wake up you’ll be sore.”

“It’s changing the very fabric of who you are,” Hanji told them. She looked a little too solemn for Ymir’s liking. “We wouldn’t have to do this if the threat wasn’t so great. So long as you hold all this power, those that seek it will try to use you.”

Hanji and Ilse left the room and disappeared into their shared bedroom. It was already really dark outside and reaching midnight, so Ymir felt sceptical when Amir seemed to head for the front door.

“Are we going out now?” she asked.

“Yup.”

“It’s late.”

“So? There are a few stores that never close. Besides, we only need a few things.”

Ymir supposed that her father had a point, so she moodily followed behind her. It was only when they were seated in the car that Amir chuckled and turned to Ymir with a grin.

“Too nervous to stay with Hanji and Ilse?”

“What? No.”

“You didn’t have to come with me, you know.”

Ymir shrugged. “I felt like getting out. All you do is watch me all day anyway.”

Amir sobered slightly and reached over to gently grasp Ymir’s hand. “I’m just scared for you. We’ve been keeping an eye out, but Illuminus is sure to know that we found you. It’s only a matter of time until they track us down and try to take you again. Hanji wants to wait before we do the sealing, but I asked her to prepare as quickly as possible.” Her hand never wavered and never relaxed. “I will not lose my kid again.”

Ymir felt a pleasant warmth fill her, and uncharacteristically she placed her hand atop Amir’s. Though she felt like saying something nasty just to distract from the fact that she was feeling an emotional impact, she didn’t. She allowed herself to smile like a kid, and then she rolled her eyes when Amir nearly burst into tears and pulled her into a fierce hug.

“Just wait till your mother sees you,” Amir cried, rubbing her cheek up against Ymir’s. “She’s going to love you more than she loves me.”

Ymir stared straight ahead, arms limp by her side. She waited until Amir calmed and then straightened in her seat as soon as she was released. Amir having moments such as these were often—Ymir was already accustomed to them and had stopped resisting. Part of her even enjoyed them. There was a certain joy at being needed and wanted. Amir made sure to shower Ymir with as much love and praise as she could in the span of twenty-four hours.

The drive into the city was short. Getting the items had been an easy task and driving back even easier. But as they entered the property and drove down the long driveway, Ymir felt the stirrings of unease. She couldn’t pinpoint what caused it, but something felt off. When Amir parked the car and hopped out, the feeling disappeared and Ymir decided not to mention it. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

“Alright, so we’ll set everything up in the lounge with the candles and such,” Amir started to explain. Hanji and Ilse were already there, laying a large black cloth in the centre of the room. All furniture had been moved, and it struck Ymir as weird. Around the cloth they had drawn a large symbol using chalk.

“Okay, now you all look like weird cult people.”

Hanji cackled, making no move to argue, and continued lighting and placing the candles after taking them from Amir. Ilse followed after her slowly, making sure that each object was in its place.

“Okay,” Hanji declared. “Done! Now Ymir, get naked.”

Ymir paled. “Oh hell no.”

“Hanji…” Amir warned. “You just need to remove your shirt,” she quickly told her daughter before the kid decided to run. “We need to see your markings.”

“Stop being a lecherous old man,” Ilse scolded. She slapped Hanji on the arm and giggled when the scientist grumbled in annoyance.

“Okay fine. Take your shirt off and sit down in the middle of all this crap.”

“Is there a scientific reason for sitting in the middle of candles and chalk?” Ymir asked. She quickly removed her shirt and bra, only lightly embarrassed when Ilse’s eyes widened at the large, winding patterns on her skin. At least the marks distracted from her breasts, which she really wasn’t worried about.

“It’s just tradition,” Hanji said, waving frantically. “Sit! It’s about time we got this over with. Once you’re on the level of an average demon we can let you do what you want without worrying.”

Amir tapped her foot impatiently, eyebrows drawn together. Clearly she wasn’t fond of the idea of Ymir going off to do her own thing, but she had enough understanding not to loudly admit it and piss Ymir off.

Rolling her eyes, Ymir sat down in the centre of it all and crossed her legs. Hanji handed a syringe over to Amir, to Ymir’s surprise, and the taller brunette crouched down beside her daughter.

“It is the right of the father to seal her daughter,” Hanji explained. “Since she is the one that cursed you.”

Ymir’s eyebrow lifted. “Cursed me?”

“It’s part of this weird Lucifer-born tradition thing. Because I am of the bloodline and I gave it to you, I’m considered the one responsible. It’s my responsibility to remove what I did to you.”

Ymir grinned. “Just don’t take away my good looks.”

Amir nearly fell over as she suddenly laughed. Even Ilse found herself giggling, and when Amir nearly dropped the syringe while she slapped at her knee, Hanji grew impatient and threatened to do the damn thing herself.

“Fine, fine!” Amir exclaimed. “Give me that rubber tube thing.”

Hanji did so, and Amir tied it around Ymir’s arm just above her elbow. She flicked the syringe three times, and then only lightly pressed the tip to Ymir’s skin. “Are you ready? It’ll take a minute to kick in, and then you’ll probably have weird dreams.”

Ymir took in a deep breath. She remembered how, since she had been young, she had always wanted to be normal. She had hated what she turned into, hated her horns and her eyes, hated the marks along her body and hated that no matter what she could never control her temper. But now, as she stared down the opportunity to be somewhat normal, she felt slightly hesitant. Being this… this Lucifer-born, it had been _her_ for so long. Somehow it almost felt wrong to take that away just to be normal. Ymir wondered how different she would feel, but her strange feelings were not enough to make her change her mind. Simply because of who she had been born as, she had been forced to endure life’s harsh cruelties. Sometimes she was still wracked with phantom pain and phantom sickness, her body used to it for so long. Nightmares still plagued her—the one of her turning and ending things, new ones with the same concept, and ones where she killed the only one she loved.

“I’m ready.” Ymir closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. She inhaled deeply as Amir gently rubbed her forearm and then sunk the needle in. When the liquid entered her veins, she felt it burn.

“I’ll be right here,” Amir promised, discarding the syringe to pull Ymir onto her lap. “While you sleep and when you wake.” She removed the rubber tube constricting Ymir’s veins, and then held her tight as the serum spread out like wildfire. When it reached Ymir’s heart and shot to other parts of her body, they could track its progress by the black veiny marks on Ymir’s skin. When the serum passed under them, they glowed red.

Ymir’s heart began pumping too hard and too quickly. An intense sense of fear and dread washed over her. She attempted to speak, to ask Amir why she was feeling this way and to beg her to make it stop. But her ears began to ring, moisture left her mouth and her limbs ceased to work.

And around her, everything turned black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for chapter VIII: Coming Undone by Korn and Lion by Hollywood Undead.

**VIII**

* * *

 

The blackness slowly retreated, crawling along her skin, beginning from the tips of her fingers and toes. She could feel their curling tendrils as if someone had pressed a cool tongue to her skin. It was uncomfortable, sticky. But then the blackness ended, soaked up by the already inky marks on her skin. Ymir’s eyes fluttered open, and with surprise she noted that not more than a minute had passed, and she was laying on her back in the lounge. A warm presence remained beside her, and when she flicked her eyes to the side, Amir stared down at her.

“Ymir?” Amir asked, confused.

Ymir sat up slowly, shivering as a cold breeze brushed over her bared torso. “Hey,” she uttered softly, barely above a whisper. Whatever had been put into her veins had sucked all the moisture from her mouth.

Amir’s brows furrowed deeply, and she quickly left Ymir’s side, hurrying from the room. Ymir watched her broad back, suddenly worried. Why did Amir look so confused? A moment later Amir returned, this time with both Hanji and Ilse, and then the bespectacled brunette crouched down by her and gently took her chin into her hand.

“Ymir?” Hanji asked, eyes flicking over her face. “How are you feeling?”

Ymir nervously looked to Amir. “Like shit. Mouth is dry.”

Hanji frowned, deeply. “How long do you think you were unconscious?”

Ymir suddenly felt the grip on her chin tighten almost painfully. “N-not more than a minute?”

Ilse stood close to them, hovering, and pressed a hand to her mouth. She looked frightened, with her own freckled features drawn down in worry.

“What?” Ymir asked, wrapping her arms around herself to stave off the sudden cold. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Hanji pulled her glasses off to rub furiously at her face. Amir immediately started to pace, her jaw clenching and unclenching. Ymir even noted the sudden stiffness of her shoulders.

“Why is this happening?” Amir demanded. Her eyes suddenly clouded over. “Did you fuck up?” She directed the accusation at Hanji. Hanji sputtered and shuffled to her feet.

“Me?” She gestured angrily to Ymir still sprawled out on the floor. “You had the damn kid! Look at her! She’s a fuck up because of you!”

“Because of me?” Amir’s eyes shifted completely, going from their normal colour to a deep and angry red embraced by black. Her claws slipped out and the veins along her neck bulged. “She fucked herself up! I didn’t even get to fucking raise her!”

Ymir’s eyes narrowed, but her heart began to sink and pound at the same time. Amir had never used such a tone, and the way the both of them argued over her… it felt as if none of their affection had been real before. Ymir suddenly felt betrayed, hurt. She crawled along the floor for her shirt, desperate to cover her vulnerable skin.

“You had one job!” Amir screamed, jaw widening, skin darkening.

“And it should work! Give it some time!”

Ymir tried to block them out, tried to ignore the sudden tightness in her chest. Every part of her felt absolutely terrified of the situation, too scared to raise her voice in case Hanji and Amir looked at her. If they did, her heart might break, because their gazes might not be sincere.

Everything went through Ymir’s head, of what Amir had told her, of how they had helped her. While they had truly stopped Ymir’s sickness, how had she been so blinded to believe that they truly had no ill motives? What if Amir had done all this to her purposefully? What if there was no ‘Damian’?

Ymir froze as her trembling hand touched the cold fabric of her shirt.

_What if this has all been a set up to make me turn, to do what my dreams said I would?_

Swallowing, Ymir prepared to slip the shirt over her head and claim that she felt tired. If they allowed her to go back to her room, then she would make an escape. But she never had the chance. While Amir and Hanji still argued, both becoming more and more demon-like, Ilse had been observing, eyes slowly following Ymir’s every move. Just as the younger brunette pulled the shirt over her head, Ilse instantly recognized the fear in her eyes. So she rushed over, eyes blazing, and lifted Ymir off of her feet by grabbing her roughly by the shirt.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked her, voice and face both calm. Amir and Hanji grew quiet, and Ymir’s heart shot up into her throat when Amir’s empty gaze landed on her. The tall brunette frowned.

“Are you trying to leave?” Amir asked her, sounding both surprised and hurt. “Where do you have to go?”

Ilse roughly shook her, and Ymir suddenly felt a wave of dizziness overtake her. She did not even feel the impact as Ilse dropped her. She coughed after pulling herself into a seated position, and then the taste of blood exploded on her tongue.

“Oh thank god,” Amir exclaimed. “It’s working.”

Hanji smirked. “See? Told you.”

Ymir’s mind swam and she attempted to get up. When she pressed a hand to her mouth it came away with blood so dark that it looked black. Suddenly her markings began to burn, but it was nothing Ymir had ever felt before. It was a familiar burn that she had grown up with, but this time it felt like every other time combined. Ymir screamed, collapsing onto the ground to clutch at the spot above her heart. She convulsed, blood spilling from her mouth. Voices began to echo around her but she had already forgotten how to hear. Though her vision was blurry, she could at least still see, and all that was before her eyes was Amir’s scarlet gaze and a wide, evil grin.

Heart pounding, Ymir forced her burning muscles to work. She struggled onto her knees and started crawling from the room, eventually getting onto her legs when she found a nearby wall. No one stopped her this time. She suddenly screamed as her clothes ripped due to her muscles and bones breaking and expanding. It was like her many nightmares from before, but worse. Her horrible black claws were already out and a familiar piercing pain burned against the skin at the top of her head. As her horns grew, Ymir stumbled further into the house, desperate to reach her room.

“Where are you going, little one?” Amir asked, amused. She laughed when Ymir stumbled. “God, you’re of my blood but you’re so pathetic.”

_Shut up!_ Ymir thought, tears the colour of blood burning her eyes—maybe it was blood. _Shut the fuck up! You and everyone else pull me through your asses like I’m some fucking game._ Amir started laughing hysterically behind her. Ymir’s tail swung in a wide arc behind her, knocking an entire wall down. Hanji merely grumbled about the annoyance, but continued to follow Ymir along with Amir. _Why? Why do people do this to me?_ Ymir chocked back a scream, a curse, a sob—her heart threatened to shatter within her, maybe even explode. She wouldn’t be surprised if it simply broke free from her chest and splattered on the ground, thumping grossly like it did in her chest. Ymir imagined the scars she would see upon it, imagined the fresh wounds that would spill blood.

“Seriously, where the hell are you going?” Amir asked, eyebrows drawn together. “You’re on our private property. There’s no way to escape.”

“Well, not until she’s gone ape-shit,” Hanji pointed out. “To destroy the world and all.”

_No,_ Ymir thought frantically. Her huge claws dug into the wall beside her as she stumbled further into the house, eyes focused solely ahead. _No, I won’t! I fucking won’t be your goddamn pawn!_ She felt a deep, burning ache in what she presumed to be her soul. Ripples of blood dripped from her skin, and losing so much made her dizzy, but she stumbled on, bent on reaching her room for… for something, anything. Ymir did not know what called to her, or why she so desperately needed to head there, but she did, and the malicious voices behind her only spurred her on.

“You’re a nothing, Ymir,” Hanji exclaimed.

“A waste of my blood!” Amir roared. “Your mother would spit at your feet!”

“Pathetic,” Ilse murmured.

Ymir did not want to turn to see their faces. Her throat clenched tightly and barely any air slipped through.

Finally Ymir pressed a bleeding hand to the door of her room. When she pushed it open, she realized that she was almost too big to fit through the door. But she quickly stumbled through, head ducking low. The moment the last of her body entered into the room, Ymir suddenly fell forward onto her hands and knees, and then she inhaled a great gasp, warm air flooding into her lungs.

And just like that, her transformation was gone, and a familiar, comforting scent hit her nose.

“Ymir?” Krista exclaimed. She hurried over, having discarded her books on Ymir’s bed. “Are you okay?”

Ymir was too afraid to look up. Tears silently leaked down her face, dripping individually onto the floor that pressed against her palms. If she looked up, would it really be Krista?

“Ymir? Did something happen in the bathroom? You were taking so long.”

Ymir felt two small, warm hands press gently to her cheeks. Almost instinctively she closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. Just because of that her pain eased in the slightest, and her heart told her to trust this, to trust that it was really Krista. So she swallowed and finally lifted her head, and _oh god_ it really was Krista, with shimmering blue eyes made of compassion and lips so pink that it was almost a sin not to kiss them. So Ymir did, and Krista only gasped softly in surprise before she melted into the intimacy, small arms wrapping around Ymir’s neck.

“Ymir?” Krista mumbled against her lips. She pulled back eventually and held Ymir’s face to study her expression. “You’re worrying me, love.”

Ymir could only smile. _It’s really her._ Tears still leaked from her eyes, but it was almost like Krista could not see them, even as they travelled along her pale hands that pressed to Ymir’s freckles. _Krista, I’ve missed you so much._

Krista smiled in return and she pulled Ymir up with her, glad that the brunette stretched to her full height. “I was really worried, you know? Ever since we got back, you’ve been really depressed. At least our parents weren’t that mad with us, right?”

_Got back?_ Ymir thought. _But I had Nanaba take you, and I stayed… stayed where? Why do I think that we left together but separated?_

“I was just going over the piles of homework we have.”

_Oh man, homework._

“The teachers let us off easy. My dad had a good talk with the principle. It took a lot of yelling on my part to have you included in the agreement.”

_Your dad is a fucking prick. Always has been._

Ymir wordlessly allowed Krista to guide her onto the bed. When the familiar softness of her blankets touched her back, Ymir shut her eyes and released a contented sigh. Krista giggled at the sound and sat down beside her, pulling their books over to her lap.

“You can just copy the work when I’m done,” Krista told her. She leaned over to press a kiss to Ymir’s forehead, and then she turned to her books and continued to read the passage she had been busy with before.

Ymir did not question anything. She merely curled around Krista, cheek pressed to the blonde’s small back. The wonderful smell of Krista filled Ymir’s senses, as well as the heat from Krista’s body. Ymir felt like she had been lacking for so long and finally that which she had lacked, was returned to her. Before Ymir knew it, her eyelids grew heavy and darkness consumed her.

When the darkness receded again, Ymir was still in her bedroom. It felt like hours had passed, and Ymir’s head swam heavily as she sat up. Pain pounded behind her eyes and a strange tingled travelled along her markings. She suddenly realized that while the books remained, Krista was gone. There was no blonde in sight, and it was already early enough in the morning that it was just barely grey. Ymir stretched over to switch the bedside lamp on, and then she clenched her teeth and froze.

Nanaba sat in the centre of her room, her shoulders moving in a way that suggested that she was writing. There was a strange scratching sound, and suddenly pain rushed along Ymir’s face, along with something wet. When Ymir cried out, Nanaba turned to look at her.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Nanaba turned back around, moving again, writing something on the floor.

Ymir staggered out of the bed and collapsed at Nanaba’s side. _What the fuck is that awful sound?_ She made to press a hand to her forehead, but stopped dead in her tracks when she finally noticed what Nanaba was fiddling with.

“You had me worried, you know?” Nanaba said, smiling. Her blue eyes were as welcoming as Krista’s, normally, but when they turned back to Ymir now, they were dull and lifeless. “You slept so long after Krista left. You still need to tell me what you did with her when you left.” Nanaba frowned, displeased. She continued drawing, and bile rose up in Ymir’s throat.

The brunette slowly lifted her hands to touch her forehead, where most of the pain throbbed, and she discovered with horror that two gaping wounds sat on her head. In Nanaba’s one hand was one of her horns, while the other lied in front of her, in a pool of blood. What Nanaba was using to write with was Ymir’s horn, and the ink she used was the blood. Ymir felt herself scream, felt the memory of the horns being torn from her skull rip through her body. She pressed her fists to the gaping wounds even as it tore them open again, even as fresh blood dripped into her eyes and mouth.

Nanaba never heard the screaming. She simply sat there, smiling sadly as her hand moved on autopilot. Ymir lashed forward with a hand, still screaming in pain, and wiped away the words that Nanaba was writing over and over again.

_“Ymir please love me. Ymir please love me. Ymir please love me.”_

Nanaba looked to Ymir in alarm, though she was not angry. Tears spilled from her blue eyes and then she was pulling Ymir into an embrace, suddenly drenched in blood. “I did it for you!” Nanaba yelled, crying. Her hands grabbed at Ymir’s back, clawing at the fabric of her clothes. “There was no other way, Ymir!”

Ymir’s screams ceased. The moment Nanaba had touched her, the wounds had sealed up in a small bellow of steam. While Ymir still felt the loss of her horns as if they had been fingers or arms, the relief from the pain was enough to make her slump in relief. She felt Nanaba’s breath at her throat.

“Ymir?” It was Krista.

_Krista? What the fuck is going on?_

“Ymir, it’s going to be okay,” Nanaba cooed, gently rubbing Ymir’s back. “All I’ve ever wanted is to see you happy.”

“We want you to be happy,” Krista agreed. Her hands pressed against Ymir’s shoulders, warm and firm. “We love you.”

Suddenly Ymir fell forward, no longer supported by Nanaba’s hold. She lifted herself quickly, cringed at the black, sticky blood that coated her face, and lifted her head.

“We’ve always loved you,” Nanaba and Krista said in union, causing their voices to sound alien, distorted. “It is you who never loved us.”

Ymir began to scream, hands lifting to cover her eyes. In front of her, both blondes hung by chains, beaten and bruised as if tortured. They looked dead, if anything, but their eyes were open, and even with Ymir’s closed, she felt their gazes, their expectations and needs, and it burnt through her. She lost all grip and fell backwards, plummeting into a darkness so thick that it was suffocating.

XxX

“Ymir!”

Ymir’s eyes opened slowly, and when Amir’s face came into view, Ymir’s tense body relaxed.

“Oh thank god,” Amir uttered, tears in her eyes. Ymir realized then that she was no longer in the lounge, but in her room, at Hanji’s property, and Amir was holding her. “It’s been twelve hours,” Amir explained. “You were screaming and crying. I… I’ve never seen you like that before. How do you feel?”

Ymir opened her mouth, but no words left her. Amir quickly leaned back to grab something, and then she pressed a glass to Ymir’s lips.

“Drink. The stuff dehydrates you.”

Ymir obeyed, hesitantly suckling on the water until her mouth no longer ached. She watched Amir carefully as the taller brunette took the cup away and then looked to her again. A sharp pain entered Ymir’s heart—it wasn’t a physical pain—and suddenly Ymir reached out and grabbed a fistful of Amir’s shirt. Baring her teeth, Ymir pulled her down, not really succeeding in showing much force. Her strength was non-existent, but Amir allowed Ymir to pull her, and concern swallowed her eyes.

“Ymir?”

“Who are you?”

Amir blinked. She saw a multitude of emotions boiling behind Ymir’s eyes, and she gathered Ymir more firmly into her arms before she answered. “I’m Amir, your father.”

“Who is my mother?”

“Damian.”

“Why am I here?”

“I’ve been looking for you all your life, and now we have brought you here to treat your sickness and to seal your powers.”

Ymir paused, and then she took in a shuddering breath and asked one more burning question. “Do you love me?”

Amir clenched her jaws tightly and dropped her head to press her lips to Ymir’s forehead. “With every breath I take.”

Ymir felt her panic ease, and then she clutched more firmly to Amir and started to cry. Amir let her, gently soothing her with a hand to her back or a kiss to her forehead. Eventually Ymir calmed, and when she did she struggled her way out of Amir’s arms.

“You said weird dreams,” Ymir croaked. “You were talking bullshit.”

Amir tilted her head. “You didn’t have weird dreams?”

Ymir spread her arms out beside her on the bed, glad to be partially naked, because her entire body felt as if it was on fire. They had been right—she was definitely sore.

“No. I had fucking nightmares.”

Amir’s eyes dropped immediately. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “This is all my fault.”

“Not it isn’t.” Ymir reached out and gently gripped onto one of Amir’s fingers. “Even though this is hell, I’m glad that you’re my dad.”

Amir had not been expecting the sudden change of heart. Ymir had been so distant since the beginning, even when she appeared to grow closer each day. But to hear that, from someone so stubborn… it was an unbelievably wonderful feeling. Amir began to cry, and Ymir cringed as Amir collapsed into her and began to snot all over her shoulder. Though pain wracked through her at the touch, Ymir wrapped her arms around Amir and comforted her just as the taller brunette had done for her earlier.

“Shouldn’t I be the one crying?”

Amir laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising.”

“Sor—” Amir paused and then nearly choked on her laughter. She pulled away, face flush with redness and her eyes bloodshot thanks to lack of sleep and the crying she had done.

Ymir studied her tired face. “Did you sleep at _all?_ ”

“Nope.”

Ymir sighed, rolling her eyes. “Well climb into bed. I’m tired after all those dreams. I don’t know how much longer I can stay awake.”

Amir’s happy mood immediately dissipated. “Before you do, we need to give you the second shot. The process should be quick for you unless you dream badly. The first bit is usually the worst.”

Amir got up and left for a moment, and Ymir suddenly remembered the awful scene of her dream. She knew that some part of her still feared for it, but the look on Amir’s face when she had woken had taken most of Ymir’s doubts away. There was no way that any individual could fake so much worry and fear. Ymir was distrusting, but she was not stupid.

When Amir returned she had the second syringe, most probably retrieved from Hanji. She climbed onto the bed and pulled Ymir onto her lap, tying the tube where she had before.

“This time should be better,” she assured. “Your body is already slightly used to the changes. This shot will accelerate the process.”

“Will I sleep for twelve hours again?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

Ymir’s stomach suddenly growled, and she was reminded that she was not to eat at all during the three days. Suddenly she was glad that she would be unconscious most of the time, so she welcomed the prick of the needle and then the sensation of the serum coursing through her veins. It took no time at all for her eyes to drop, and before Ymir could even leave with one last snarky comment, she was back into the darkness.

Amir watched carefully as Ymir’s body stiffened and then began to tremble. It was gentle for now, but she knew that no doubt Ymir’s body would begin to convulse. It was utterly painful to witness, but it was her duty. As she pressed her back against the headboard and pulled Ymir to her side, Hanji quietly entered the room.

“Did she take her second shot?”

Amir nodded. “Did her screaming wake you?”

Hanji shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. You should sleep.”

“No.”

Hanji rolled her eyes. “Staying up three days in a row is not going to change the outcome. You can sleep beside her if anything goes wrong.”

“No. I said I would be right here for her and I meant it.”

“Amir, don’t be so—”

Suddenly Ilse came running into the room, face pale and panicked. “Amir, we need to leave, now!”

Amir looked down to Ymir’s pale face. “Have they come for us?”

Ilse swallowed. Hanji was by her side in seconds. “M-my cameras caught something.”

Amir looked up, catching Ilse’s gaze. “What did they catch?”

Ilse hated the words that left her mouth. “They found us, and they’re coming.”

XxX

Of one thing she was certain. While their deeds did not bring light to their actions, understanding did. After being there for so long, she had come to realize that these people were entrenched in their belief, and no amount of arguing could ever undo that. Perhaps some had grown up as such, with parents already in the institute, or perhaps they had merely looked upon the fabric of their current society, of the other society, and deemed it worth nothing. She agreed with only one of their mottos—the times needed to change. Their methods were sometimes cruel and dark, and with their seemingly evil plots, surely no change would come.

“Crow,” a powerful voice uttered, and she turned to meet a curious, black-brown gaze. “Where is your head?”

Crow bowed her head once, grimacing. “I’m sorry, I was daydreaming.”

Speaking to Crow was the leader of Illuminus, exceptionally tall even for a demon, with black hair and dark brown skin. Neither a freckle nor a dot broke the smoothness of her skin, nothing except for the tattoo that ran the entire length of her chest and back, black and winding as if she had the Lucifer markings herself, curling all the way up her neck and stopping at her forehead and nose, lashing black across them. Crow had only seen the tattoo once when the leader had returned from her own mission, clothes in tatters. No one knew of what she had done that day, because missions the leader did were for her eyes only, kept and shrouded in mystery. But Crow came to understand that whenever the leader left on a lone mission and returned, moral at the facility lifted, extra funds poured in and more sympathizers joined their cause.

The leader always seemed energetic, though she could be stern when she wanted to be. There was a strange softness in her eyes that told all that she cared—truly cared. Whenever a difficult decision was to be made, regardless of who was concerned, the leader would take on the responsibility and then any consequence if her decision had been wrong. Right now, as her blackened brown eyes studied Crow’s face, she didn’t seem the evil leader most would picture her to be.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, leader,” Crow answered, pressing a fist to her heart and bowing in her seat—the seat beside the leader was reserved for personal assistants and for the second in charge. While Crow hadn’t risen far enough in rank to be in command only below the leader, she had managed to catch the leader’s eye enough to sit at her side. To the leader’s left sat another demon, short in stature, blonde of hair and eyes so blue and piercing that they often resembled ice. The woman had such a prominent nose, and Crow often wondered if she had ever used it to stab someone.

“Please, call me Dante, not leader.”

Crow sighed softly but smiled, relaxing further in her seat. Her eyes flicked forward to the large room that stretched before them, and she slowly counted as demons flooded in from all three entrances.

“Aleksandr,” Dante started, turning and leaning over to speak to the blonde. “How is your daughter doing?”

Aleksandr, usually exceptionally calm and in control at all times, seemed for this instant surprised. Sudden fear spread out on her face, but she swallowed it down and schooled her expression quickly. Crow was impressed by it.

“She’s um, she’s alright.”

The leader smiled knowingly, a single, friendly threat in her eyes. It made Aleksandr shift uncomfortably, but Dante seemed content with her reaction and relaxed back into her own seat as well—it was almost like a crude throne, flanked by her trusted, dark and clean save for the smears of red upon the colour that looked like blood, but was paint. Dante had strange tastes, but Crow had grown used to it.

All demons had assembled, standing and sitting in their various spots in the large hall. It was just after midnight, so the grand chandeliers above them sparkled with brilliant light. A light din of conversation permeated the air, but the moment Dante lifted one large, strong hand, the hall silenced. She felt no need to stand, so she didn’t, and she waited until all eyes were on her before she started speaking.

“Demons,” she finally started, voice deep like honey, welcoming so that the tension in the air eased. “We have not held assembling for a long while. Not until we discovered the birth of the Lucifer-born, and plotted to capture her. It seems our plans have finally come to fruition. The Lucifer-born is not lost!” Low murmurs, of excited demons speaking to those near them, some they knew and even some they didn’t, filled the air all around them. The news felt like a weight off of their shoulders. “However,” Dante continued. “We did not entirely plan for everything. The Lucifer-born has begun the sealing, we will act tonight.”

“All units will assemble in front of the building,” Aleksandr bellowed, standing to inforce her presence. She felt Dante’s dark eyes on her back and she hated it. “You are to wear your combat gear and retrieve your weapons from the military centre below. Remember our training, remember your assigned position. We will collect in ten minutes and leave in twenty.”

Dante chuckled as Aleksandr sat down, always fascinated by the blonde’s power and grace even when aggressive. “Do as Aleksandr says,” Dante told them. “As far as we know the enemy has no defence. However, kill no one! If you can retrieve the Lucifer-born without casualty or injury, do so. We are not a radical group.” Now Dante stood, spine straight and stiff, hands clasped behind her back. “We do not kill fellow demons,” she warned them, finally taking on a more aggressive approach. Many were afraid of her by default, and though she disliked the fact, it came in handy more than once. “We have a goal, a dream.” Lifting a hand, she clenched her fist tightly in the air, eyes blazing and changed now. The red in them was like nothing any demon there had ever seen. “We move for _freedom,_ for _change_. This is **our** land! We are here, we are the warriors that built the very fabric of this movement, and if any shall dare stand against us, we will show them the way, not with death, but with change. A new era is coming, and in this era we will thrive!” Her hand had bleached at the force of her grip, and so she lowered her hand, pressing her fist firmly to her heart. Everyone had already stood to attention, and they all copied the motion as soon as Dante made it. When she spoke next, everyone spoke with her.

“Illuminus brings change. Illuminus brings peace for all demon-kind!”

The leader then bowed to the crowd, eyes closed and lips drawn in a soft smile. Everyone mimicked her, bowing so deeply that it hurt, so eager to show every ounce of respect that they had. And then they straightened, looked forward and waited.

“You may all leave and prepare.”

The room broke out into soft murmuring as the demons neatly filed out of the room. It didn’t take long for the place to empty, and Dante waited until it had before she headed out as well, taking a sharp turn right instead of left, where all the others had gone. To her sides were Aleksandr and Crow, and Dante felt her own brow lift at their presence.

“Do you need something?” she asked, smiling in amusement.

“Dante,” Crow started, grabbing Dante’s arm to stop her fast gait. “Is it true? You’ve found the Lucifer-born?”

Dante’s smile softened and she took Crow’s hand between her own. “I am sorry that I did not tell you before, but you know that you’re not privy to such crucial information so early.”

Crow nodded, eyes narrowing. “What are our plans for her?”

Aleksandr watched them suspiciously, eyes flitting between the two. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she felt like there was something odd about Crow. She refused to give them her real name since joining years prior, and had painstakingly made herself climb the corporate ladder, so to speak.

“As you know, the Lucifer-born had been ripped from her family at birth.”

Crow’s grip tightened. “And how will we get her now?”

Dante’s smile turned genuine and she couldn’t help but draw Crow in for a gentle hug. Aleksandr rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall to wait for the sentimental moment to end. “I can see that you worry,” Dante told her. “But don’t worry.” She pulled back, large hands going up to gently grip Crow’s shoulders. “I am not my father. I want to do this cleanly. I plan to accompany our forces, and I will be the first one to make contact.”

“What?!” Aleksandr pushed off from the wall and forcefully spun Dante around. Their extreme height difference did not deter her at all, even though she had to tilt her head back to look up at Dante. “Are you just going to walk in there?” When Dante only nodded, Aleksandr grew enraged. “Have you lost your mind?”

Suddenly Aleksandr was slammed into the wall, Dante’s arm pressed to her throat. The dark woman growled softly, once, and then lessened some of the pressure and frowned. “Don’t think I have forgiven you yet,” she whispered. Now she looked sombre. “I let you do this your way. I let you send your subordinates to capture the Lucifer-born, and I let you abduct and torture those humans to find out the location of the Lucifer-born. Do you know what we don’t do here, Aleks?” Dante leaned down, bringing their faces close so that Aleksandr had no choice but to look into her eyes. But Aleksandr couldn’t respond or look, and she forced her head to the side. “We do **not** torture and kill. If the humans had not fled thanks to your daughter’s radical behaviour, I probably would have set them free myself.”

At the mention of her daughter Aleksandr roughly shoved Dante away from her. The short blonde’s eyes blazed with ice, and she sent the nastiest glare at Dante as she straightened her shirt, ran a hand through her hair and then stormed off, boots thudding loudly on the floor. Dante slipped her hands into her pockets and sighed softly, watching her go.

“She only did all of that to please you,” Crow spoke up softly. She swallowed lightly when Dante turned to look at her. At least her eyes had returned to their human form.

“I know. But she is like an insolate child. She adored my father and agreed with her twisted ways. I’ve been working hard to soften her up.” Dante shrugged lightly. “I can see my job is still not done.”

“We should head out and prepare though,” Crow said. “There’s not much time left.”

Dante nodded. “I agree. I want you to get your armour and weapons and then meet me at the front lines. I want you by my side.”

Crow nodded once and then hurried off to do as she was told. Like with Aleksandr, Dante watched the woman go. A strange knot formed in her stomach, but she ignored the sensation and headed to her room to grab her coat and gun—which she hoped to never use, but she did not want to die just yet.

Her demon army had assembled in short time, and Dante smiled at them all as she walked by. It was disheartening to see all of them standing stiffly with their guns pressed to their chests. She did not want a war, but she understood the need for such force. So Dante merely ignored her nagging sadness and headed to the front for her vehicle. Crow was already there. She had a mask over her face with the Illuminus symbol painted on the front of it. Dante smiled at her determination, and then she and Crow climbed in. Dante would drive.

They headed out then, trucks full of demons following behind their leader. Aleksandr was at the very back, making sure that no one was left behind and that their back was covered. Part of her decision to remain there was also because of her upset with Dante.

It did not take that long to reach their destination. Aleksandr had explained the plan to their demons, and so the cars all broke away from the line to circle the property. They were to keep as far away from the house as possible, and only Dante’s and Aleksandr’s cars would drive all the way up to the home.

Dante studied their surroundings carefully, and she felt more than saw Crow shudder beside her. “Nervous?” she asked.

“Like you won’t believe.”

XxX

Amir’s heart raced inside her chest as she dashed around the house trying to find the basic items that they would need. The bag she had clutched in her hand swung wildly with her jerking movements, and she would have tripped over her own feet if Hanji hadn’t grabbed onto her to stop her.

“Calm down,” Hanji ordered. She titled Amir’s face so that their eyes would meet. “We’ve prepared for this. We will get out of here.”

Amir nodded, but her eyes landed on Ymir unconscious on the couch. She had to hurriedly dress the teen and it had been a struggle until Ilse had quickly helped her. Their clothes were already packed, and now they simply needed to pack a few food items. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Hanji pulled Amir down until their foreheads touched. “Don’t be sorry, Amir. I understand. But Ymir needs you to keep a cool head, so breathe deeply and believe in us.”

Amir nodded, smiling. Her chest eased enough that she could breathe properly again. “You’re right, thank you.”

“Ilse, how much time is left?” Hanji asked.

Ilse paused just as she entered the room and grabbed her small tablet from her pocket. She tapped away at the screen, read something on there and then absolutely froze. “Not enough,” she gasped out, throwing the device into her back and savagely zipping it up. “We need to leave, now!”

Amir’s heart nearly stopped all together. She heard Ymir groan in pain and hurried to her, collecting the brunette in her arms. The teen’s horns were halfway out and fresh blood dripped from her face, but no one could do anything about it yet. Amir was only glad that she was still able to hold Ymir even though the brunette was slowly going in and out of transformation. Her skin was already darker than it should be, and Amir knew that her eyes were probably changed.

They had a tunnel underneath the house that led to a secure vault. A lot of their money and old family items rested there, but it was also built in mind of this moment. Once they locked themselves in there, nothing could get inside. All they needed was two more days and Ymir would be free of her curse, and Illuminus would lose their purpose.

But just as Amir prepared to follow Hanji and Ilse through the hall to Hanji’s room, where the hatch underground rested, the front door flew open and figures hurried inside. Amir whirled around and snarled when she saw a familiar face. Ymir sucked in a deep breath and began to shiver.

“Uh-uh,” the tallest demon said to her subordinates, who all aimed their weapons at Amir. “Lower your guns.” They shared a confused looked with each other, except the one to the main demon’s direct side, and then followed the order.

Amir felt her throat burn. “Dante,” she said, spitting the word out like it was venom.

“Amir, I’m not here to cause you any pain,” Dante said. She smiled politely and then scanned the interior of the room. “This is a nice place. It’s taken us years to find it.”

Amir clutched Ymir more securely in her arms and took a step back, but Dante’s eyes flashed with something dangerous and she forced herself to remain still. “You will not have her.”

“Don’t make me take her by force,” Dante pleaded. “I know what my father did eighteen years ago was wrong, but she’s dead now. I’ve been running Illuminus for ten years.”

Amir furrowed her brows. “Dead?”

“I killed her myself.” Dante smiled and decided to take a seat. She indicated for Amir to do the same, but the tall brunette refused. “It was the most difficult decision to make, but she was turning Illuminus into an anti-human establishment. If we are ever to live in the daylight, we need to make peace with the humans, not war.”

Amir narrowed her eyes into a glare. The demon by Dante’s side hovered close, and her face was covered by a mask. It made Amir nervous. “So what is your goal? I’m pretty sure Illuminus is still a shitty organization with stupid ideals.”

Anger flashed in Dante’s eyes for the briefest of moments. “Our ideal is far from stupid, I assure you. Please, sit down. Your child is in pain.”

Amir looked down to Ymir, sweat forming on her brow. From the corner of her eye she noticed the masked demon step closer to her, and tensed lightly as she finally sat down on the nearest couch. She gently rested Ymir down on her lap and then held her closer. “Please, I’ve suffered enough. Ymir has suffered enough. Just leave us alone.”

Dante looked pained. She studied Ymir’s unconscious form for a long while before she decided to respond. “That’s why I came here personally,” she said. “I want to ask for the Lucifer-born’s help. I want her to freely give it to me, I do not want to force her.”

“But you will if I refuse, won’t you?”

Dante’s lips pressed into a firm line. “Tell me Amir, would you like for the world to accept us as a neighbouring intellectual species? I’ve seen Hanji speak about it, and we are believed to either reside from eternal damnation, or are nothing but a hoax. Wouldn’t you like for us to spread our wings whenever we like?”

“Are you planning to reveal us?”

“Yes.” Dante’s smile returned. “I plan to use your daughter as a threat. One thing the humans cannot do is accept when a species is stronger or smarter than them. They will ultimately wage war on us the moment they can, to supress our uprising. With the Lucifer-born by my side, I can scare them into giving us what we want. If they realize that your daughter can destroy cities within hours, they won’t hurry to attack us.”

“My daughter is not your weapon!” Amir shouted, going red with anger. Ymir stirred in her arms, but would not wake for hours. However, unnoticed by Amir, Ymir was reacting to the anger around her. She twitched, teeth and claws growing out.

“And she will not be used as such!” Dante responded just as loudly. “I want her consent, her co-operation!”

“She isn’t able to give it!”

Dante pressed her face into her palms to calm her anger. She did not want to appear as though she was aggressive. She desperately wanted co-operation, because if it was not given, she would have to make difficult decisions. “Please,” she pleaded. “Stop the sealing and speak with her. Ask her to join us. We will not require her to show her face, so her identity will be hidden. We only need for her to set an example.”

“There are other powerful demons out there—Atlas, Dominic, Maeve. Why _my_ daughter? Use them! They’re hardened soldiers already.”

“Surely you are aware of the power the Lucifer-born wields. Your daughter’s power is Atlas, Dominic and Maeve’s powers combined and doubled! Her demon form is startling. She stands taller than any demon in existence. I’ve seen the recordings, read the old texts. I do not need to explicitly see it myself to know that she wields power above our imagination.”

Looking down at Ymir now, Amir couldn’t believe that she held so much power. Dante was right, of course. Though Ymir had never used it, her powers were devastating. Just walking around in her full demon form would destroy a city alone. At least Ymir wasn’t fully aware of how much power she had. The poor kid had trouble with just the small amount of power she had been using. Amir had no idea how Ymir had resisted the intense bloodlust all these years, but she was glad for it.

“No,” she answered finally. “Ymir is—Ymir has suffered enough thanks to you. I don’t care what your new goals are. I can’t trust that what you’re saying it true. For centuries Illuminus has existed for the sole purpose of releasing the Lucifer-born to end all human kind. I won’t allow that to happen.” Amir stood and gently put Ymir down on the couch. When she straightened, she was already shifting. “So if you want to take my daughter from me again, you will have to kill me.”

Dante closed her eyes for a moment to mourn. She had not wanted to do this. Amir was serious, she knew this, and there was no way that she would simply walk out with Ymir. But she couldn’t leave without her. It seemed there was no choice. So she stood, eyes opening, and prepared to remove her clothing before she shifted and fought, but paused when the cold muzzle of a gun pressed to the back of her neck.

Aleksandr reacted by growling, pointing her own gun at Crow, who was the one pointing it at Dante. “What the hell are you doing?” she demanded.

Dante lifted her arms in surrender. She said no words as Crow circled her, stepping away and towards Dante with her gun raised. The shine of her red eyes told Dante all she needed to know. “I wondered when you would act,” Dante said, smiling. She felt the urge to laugh in genuine amusement.

Crow did not respond or speak. She walked until Amir was inches behind her, and then she indicated for Amir to pick Ymir up. Amir did so, confused and drunk on adrenalin. Crow then pushed her towards where Hanji and Ilse had gone, and Amir didn’t even have the time to wonder how this strange demon knew about it. She bolted from the room, not looking back as she disappeared underground. Hanji and Ilse were right there by the entrance, waiting with bated breath.

Crow stood in the doorway, shoulders tense, hands never faltering. “You knew?” she asked softly.

Aleksandr and the other demons had their weapons lifted and aimed at Crow, ready to shoot at any second. But Dante prevented them. She dropped her arms and chuckled.

“How could I not?”

“Then why did you let me join?”

Dante sighed and shrugged. “To atone, maybe? My father hurt your family. I thought I’d give you a chance to get one over me.”

Crow finally removed her mask to give Dante a sorrowful look. “I can’t tell if you’re a good person or an asshole.”

Dante laughed outright. “Sometimes I’m simply both.”

Crow rolled her eyes, always frustrated with Dante’s attitude. “You do know that I am going to follow them, and we are going to lock ourselves in the vault until the Lucifer-born has been sealed?”

Dante nodded. “We will try to get in. If we do, we win. If not, I will perhaps take Amir’s earlier suggestion.”

Crow couldn’t fathom how Dante was allowing this to happen. All she had to do was shoot her and then go after Amir. It would have taken seconds and she would have won. In all her time there, Crow had never been able to properly piece Dante together. Whatever made her tick, it was definitely filled with chaos.

“I won’t thank you,” Crow told her bitterly. “And you know why.”

Dante’s smile dropped and she nodded. “I don’t expect your appreciation.”

“Good.” She smirked then, finally able to drop her fake persona. A part of her felt bad at betraying Dante so, only because she had grown close to the demon over time. But most of her barely even cared. “I’m going now.” She turned and hurried away. The hatch in Hanji’s room slammed shut when Crow closed it behind her.

“Dante, what are we—?” Aleksandr started, but paused when Dante lifted a hand for her silence.

“Goodbye,” she whispered to herself, eyes set on the spot where the woman had been standing. “It was nice to spend these years with you, Crow—or rather, Damian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this is the shortest chapter by far for this story, which saddens me a lot. I never wanted to post a chapter below 10k words. This time, though, I decided to do it because I’m so busy with work right now. I dunno when I’ll get around to writing the rest of the chapter, so I decided to post it as is now. Maybe I can get a full chapter for the next one, but I can’t make any promises. Chapters from here on might be shorter than the 10 – 11k average. I’m sorry about that. This story is close to an ending, too! Well, there’s still a lot to go, but considering chapter length, there’s probably maybe four chapters left. Could be more or less, you never know. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Don’t forget to drop a review to let me know what you thought, and you can also still follow me on tumblr at danilovesanimenel! ^^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter IX

**IX**

* * *

 

Mask back in place as a precaution, Crow hurried down the cemented hallway until she reached the still open safe hatch. Amir’s lanky figure had just disappeared inside, with an unconscious freckled teenager in her arms. Crow’s heart thumped unevenly in her chest. The hatch she had entered through had been shut and locked, but it would not last. Dante would find a way in, Crow knew this.

But she could not command her legs to move forward any longer. Her eyes remained on the open doorway, wondering why it had not been shut, worrying for the young brunette that she had yet to meet. And just as she found the will to move, Amir’s large form filled the open doorway and dark, angry red eyes stared at her.

Crow’s chest filled with familiar warmth and longing, and for the first time in too long, she allowed the feelings. She reached up and touched the mask on her face, hating the cold touch of it to her skin. Amir watched, suspicious, angry and confused. She said nothing, and Crow had a feeling that she already knew. If she didn’t, then she’d know soon enough. Swiftly she pulled the mask from her face.

It clattered loudly to the floor.

XxX

After hurriedly handing Ymir over to Hanji and Ilse, who then set her carefully down on a foam mattress, Amir turned for the doorway. Her heart still hummed with adrenalin, but she had heard the hatch close behind them and footsteps follow. The masked stranger had followed them down, and her racing pulse told her who it was before her mind did. Before Amir stepped out, Hanji whirled around and grabbed her hand.

“Where are you going?”

“The masked woman,” Amir answered. “She followed us down. I’m going to confront her.”

“Don’t waste the time,” Ilse hissed. She was frantically searching through Hanji’s medical equipment to set up a drip for Ymir and use something to cool her alarming fever. “Just lock the door.”

Amir swallowed and looked away quickly. “No,” she said. “I think it’s…” she paused and listened carefully. Not too far down the hallway the masked woman had paused. Her breathing was ragged and her heart thumped loudly in Amir’s ears. She recognized the rhythm and her entire body washed with heat. “I know who it is.”

Ilse opened her mouth to protest again, but Hanji hushed her quickly and then waved Amir off. “Go get her,” she ordered. “And hurry back. We need to lock down and wait the next twenty-four hours out. Ymir needs you, Amir. Be careful.”

Amir nodded seriously and gave Hanji an appreciative look. Then she turned and stepped into the doorway. Now her pulse was thrumming at her throat and she could feel it. The masked individual watched her step out of the room, and Amir decided not to do or say anything. She could feel her eyes change, though, and couldn’t help but let her anger and confusion shine through them.

The woman regarded her for a moment, and Amir observed the way her muscles relaxed and her shoulders sagged. And then she lifted a hand, touched the mask. Amir could feel her disgust at it, could see the way her muscles twitched after feeling the cold material. But then it slipped off, revealing burning brown eyes and a splash of dusty freckles. Brown hair tumbled down the sides of her face, plastered to her forehead. Her soft mouth pressed into a firm line, and Amir watched, fascinated, as her lips parted. No words came out. What was there to say?

“Fancy meeting you here, huh?” she finally uttered, breathless, urgent.

Amir reeled as if from a blow. That voice, now so clear even though slightly hushed, sent a thrill through her. She knew that voice. She would always know that voice. “About goddamn time,” Amir muttered. Her eyes quickly filled with tears and she slowly made her way forward. “Where have you been all this time, Damian?”

Damian’s cheeks welcomed the spill of warm tears. “Looking for our daughter,” she choked out. “But you found her before I did, and I was closer to her than I knew.”

Amir sucked in a breath, paused before her. She could feel Damian’s body heat, wanted to lean in and be engulfed by it. “Are you still my wife?” she tested, unsure.

Damian managed to scoff and roll her eyes. She pulled Amir down by the front of her shirt and pressed a needy kiss to her lips. Their eyes fluttered shut, lips brushed for a second, and then they pulled apart and Amir opened her lids. “Of course, you dumbass,” Damian chastised. She wrapped her arms around Amir’s broad, hard shoulders and enjoyed the way the muscles shifted underneath her touch. She had so missed the power and security Amir so easily gave to her. “I’m sorry for being gone so long.”

Amir wrapped her up in an embrace and touched their foreheads. “Sorry can wait,” she whispered. Above them a loud noise thundered into the earth and a small portion of concrete cracked at their feet. “We need to lock ourselves away and be there for our baby girl.”

Damian’s throat suddenly swelled as if she had swallowed something she was allergic to. Nerves cut through her, but she nodded and allowed Amir to clutch her hand. Hesitantly she let Amir drag her back into the room, and the moment the door slammed shut behind her, her eyes landed on her child’s long, unconscious form. Indescribable warmth filled her. But then the ceiling shook, Ymir began to convulse, and all warmth washed right out of her.

She filled with a worry of icy cold.

XxX

Aleksandr paced across the broken floor, her temper fluctuating between raging and murderous. She spotted Dante entering the room and turned sharply to her leader. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Dante ignored her, a small group of demons close at her back. “Set up again,” she told them. “Blow the floor apart. I want that vault open before twenty-four hours are up.”

One of the demons, a tall woman with a sharp undercut hairstyle and spiralling tattoos on her face, nodded once and headed back to the site at the back yard, where the vault lay directly below. If they could blow the floor out then they could pry the door open and get the demons within.

“Make it work this time,” Dante barked. She was agitated too, but for different reasons. Her heart waged a war with her head, and she kicked herself just as hard as she patted herself on the back. Aleksandr clearly wanted in on the kicking part.

“Dante,” Aleksandr spat. “Do not ignore me.”

“Your words fill my ears with noise,” Dante responded. She turned and reached out to clutch Aleksandr’s shoulder. “You may leave, Aleks, if you cannot stand to see my face.”

“Dante, why did you do it?” Aleksandr asked. Her anger drained away. “All I have done until now has been nothing. What future do we have now? Without the Lucifer-born, we no longer have the means to win this war!”

“Our war has been going on for years,” Dante told her. “We have plenty more time to plan. If we do not catch her, I will convince her to join our cause.”

“If you had simply gone with my methods, we would have been marching on the Capital already!”

“Enough!” Dante’s eyes flashed brightly before they calmed and her horns receded. “I am not my father. I am not ruthless. I am not cruel. I do what I must for my people, but I will not fall that low, never again. I let you try your method and it failed. Actually, it backfired. What hope do we have now? If the Lucifer-born discovers what we did to her lover, then she will never join us. She might even go on a rampage and destroy us in her rage. What do you say to that?”

Aleksandr grew sombre, nodding her head. “You’re right,” she said. “Violence can’t solve all problems. You know why I need this to go right. Why I need our people to stand in the daylight without fear.”

Dante’s eyes grew soft. “And we will. Have patience and faith. I knew about Crow—Damian—yes, but I factored it into my plans.” A small smile played at her lips. “I have always hoped to shake hands with the Lucifer-born as we strike a deal, a bargain. The fact that I let her escape, that I allowed her mother to press a gun to my head will play in my favour.”

Aleksandr’s eyes widened with realization. “It was all part of your plan?”

Dante nodded. “Ymir will come to us,” she said, determined and faithful. “Of that I am certain. When we break open that vault, she will be there to greet us.”

“But the sealing will have her unconscious.”

Dante said no more and turned to see how the setup out back was doing. Aleksandr remained behind, watching her leader’s broad back. She wondered what Dante had in mind, but decided that for once to simply have faith.

That faith would be answered.

XxX

Twelve hours passed by. Ymir remained unconscious for most of it, well the others had all remained silent. Hanji and Ilse had long since gotten over their shock and elation at Damian’s sudden appearance, and Amir had taken to not letting her go. They sat quietly, listening to the chaos above them, hoping that Ymir would be sealed before the enemy managed to get to them. If they opened the vault and took Ymir, Hanji was sure that they would inject her with something to stop the sealing, and there was no proof that Ymir could survive something like that. She was already going through too much.

Amir and Damian sat right beside their daughter, Damian clutching onto one of Ymir’s long fingers. She marvelled at it, at the sight of so many freckles on the brunette’s body. She was proud to see that Ymir had inherited that of her—the freckles, the hair and eyes. It made her warm inside, just as it made her feel rage like never before. Her time with her daughter had been stolen from her. Nothing would ever give that back. Ever. She now had to take time to get to know her child who was entering adulthood. What if they didn’t get along? What if, after this, Ymir planned to leave and return to her family of before?

“She won’t leave, you know,” Amir whispered softly. Damian glanced up at her in surprise and she chuckled. “You’re doing that thing where you scrunch your eyebrows up and tense your jaw. I can tell what you’re thinking. I’ve spoken to Ymir, spent time with her. She wants to get to know us. She might not admit as much right now, but she’ll come around. Besides…” Amir lifted a hand to caress Damian’s freckled cheek. She suddenly grew solemn. “I don’t think there’s much for Ymir to return to, anyway.”

Damian detected a story there. She wanted to pry, to demand that Amir tell her everything, but Ymir made a noise beside them and she sat up suddenly, hands shooting up to cover her face. She groaned loudly and all of them could see trickles of blood falling down her face.

“Ymir?” Hanji asked, scooting closer. “How are you feeling?”

Ymir uncovered her face to glare. Her eyes—black and red—were filled with fury. She didn’t say a word. She noticed Damian nestled on Amir’s lap, noticed how they clutched to each other and how the woman looked at her with teary eyes and wet cheeks. But she clutched at her face again, moaning in pain.

“Is she awake?” Amir asked. She gently moved Damian to the side and crawled up to her daughter. She hesitantly took Ymir’s wrists and lowered her arms, and then she looked into her eyes. “Ymir?”

“I don’t know,” Hanji said. “I don’t think she’s ready for her next shot yet.”

“Twenty minutes,” Ilse agreed. “She shouldn’t be up.”

“Ymir?”

Ymir swayed slightly, groaning. Her eyes were open and unfocused, far away. Suddenly there was another large bang against the ceiling, and the occupants of the vault watched in horror as the cement above their heads cracked in several directions, raining them with dust.

“A new age welcomes the wash of blood,” Ymir muttered. She titled her head, still unseeing, and stared upwards at _something._

“What are you talking about?” Amir rushed, panicked. “Ymir?”

“Ymir is not here,” she murmured softly.

Amir’s chest tightened like her heart was about to burst. She had never heard of this happening before. What was Ymir even talking about?

“The dreams tell me of what haunts me,” Ymir continued to mumble, still looking upwards. “I must fight the nightmares to reach the truth.”

Hanji swallowed. “I think she might just be talking nonsense,” she told them in an effort to reassure. “We all know that the Lucifer-born isn’t something mystical. Ymir is just reciting something she read before, I think.”

“You think?” Damian suddenly roared. “Don’t you have a better answer than that?”

“Ymir hurts,” the brunette mumbled again. All eyes turned back to her and she winced, placed a hand over her chest and then coughed. Blood suddenly trickled out of her mouth, and like something had suddenly come over her, she widened her eyes and dropped her head to stare at Amir’s face. Her brown eyes were no longer clouded. “Dad?” she asked softly, almost scared. Her eyes flicked to Damian there, and her brows furrowed. She had the tip of ‘mom’ on her tongue, but stopped when pain wracked through her and she fell back, convulsing and screaming.

“Give her the next shot!” Ilse yelled. “It’s time!”

“Damian, Amir, hold her down!” Hanji ordered. She waited until they had and then jabbed the needle into Ymir’s heart directly. The brunette roared at the pain, but she had to. It was the only way to speed things up. To ensure that she sealing completed. There was no other way.

Ymir whimpered. She curled into herself, shying away from the hands on her, and then dropped off into the darkness again. The pain ebbed away with it, this time, but the feelings did not.

XxX

“How much time is left?” Dante barked out. She was uncharacteristically impatient, pacing up and down the property. Demons scattered the area around her, all frantically trying to get inside the vault.

“An hour,” one of the demons choked out. “The metal is too hard. We can’t break it.”

Dante cursed herself. It was pitch black again. They had been trying and trying. What the hell was that vault made of? They were running out of supplies, out of anything combustible. Her people were exhausted, daunted and doubtful. Some of them sent her questioning glances, wondered why they were even still doing this.

For the first time, Dante wondered if there was a way to do this without the help of the Lucifer-born. She supposed… if they tried, then maybe they could figure something out. Perhaps she could return some other time, ask the brunette for help when she was older, wiser. Dante had held fast to wanting to use the Lucifer-born for so long. It was difficult to accept the possibility that Ymir was simply not in her reach. Like Amir had said, she could use other demons, powerful demons. They would set the same example. Humanity did not know of the Lucifer-born. They wouldn’t realize the difference.

The demon that had answered her earlier lifted her axe to slam it down on the metal vault again, and the one beside her used her claws. They grunted and groaned at the effort, sweat and dirt sliding down their bodies. Aleksandr approached and stood beside her leader, frowning.

“We’re going to retreat, aren’t we?” she asked.

Dante smiled. “You know my expressions well, don’t you?”

Aleksandr scoffed. Her hard blue eyes softened. “I want to leave, Dante.”

“No longer fighting for freedom?”

“My daughter ran away with the human,” she offered gruffly. “I think I pushed her to that.”

Dante frowned more deeply. “Our battle here is lost, friend. I fear we will have to leave and reconsider our next steps.”

Aleksandr reluctantly nodded. She had been using the time to think and to consider. Her fight for this cause had done too much damage to her relationship with her daughter. She needed to fix it, somehow. The only way was to chase after her and make amends, before the kid got herself in more deeply and caused serious trouble.

“I’ll be leaving tomorrow afternoon. I need to find her.”

Dante nodded in understanding. “Tell Annie I send my regards.”

Aleksandr was surprised for a slight moment that Dante was allowing her to leave so easily. But it melted away to affection—of which she would never admit—and she rolled her eyes as if unaffected. “Annie hates you, you know?”

Dante laughed for the first time in days. “I know,” she said, nodding. “I know.”

Aleksandr watched her face for a moment, and then she lightly punched her shoulder, rolled her eyes again and walked off, not saying goodbye and never meaning to. Dante didn’t watch her go, but she did smile sadly in return. She took a slight breath and then waved her arm.

“We are retreating!” she commanded loudly. “Gather the supplies and return to the trucks. Our battle here is lost.”

Some of the demons cried out in shock, some with disbelief. A few sighed in relief and some even rolled their eyes. Dante took all of their reactions in, and smiled. “We may have lost the battle here,” she boomed, “but we have not lost the war. I will find a way, I can promise that.”

Respect returned to them quickly, and without a noise or a response, the demons all obeyed and cleared the area. Before they left, Dante stared up at the sky, wondered if freedom would ever arrive in her lifetime, and then turned.

She didn’t look back.

XxX

The noises had been quiet for a full hour. All of them wondered why, hoped that the answer was simple, but dared not to venture out until it was safe. Eventually Ymir woke, exhausted, starving and in pain. Her sealing was complete.

“I feel like shit,” she groaned out, a hand pressed to her empty stomach.

Amir laughed in relief, and she pulled Ymir against her for a hard, affectionate hug. To her surprise, Ymir hugged her back, peering over her shoulder at the freckled woman watching them with fierce eyes.

“Is that her?” Ymir asked softly. They climbed onto their feet, Amir helping her up. Hanji and Ilse gathered the things they had brought down with them and opened the vault. The path was completely destroyed, and they would have to climb out of it and into the backyard to get out. Hanji groaned at the damage, but was simply relieved that the area seemed to be empty.

“It is,” Amir confirmed. She made sure that Ymir was steady, and then she stepped out of the way and watched.

Damian and Ymir eyed each other at first, both suspicious and unsure. Though Ymir shared a lot of Amir’s physical features, her expression matched Damian’s exactly.

Surprising them both, Ymir stumbled forward and held her hand out. “Hi,” she drawled. Her eyes drooped, since she was still lethargic from being asleep so long, but her voice was clear and firm. “I’m Ymir.”

Damian took her hand in a firm grip and fought the tears at her eyes. “Ymir,” she gasped out. “I’m Damian.”

Ymir grinned and released her hand to stumbled forward and hug her. “Can I call you mom?”

Damian began to cry. “Of course, Ymir. Of course.”

Amir sniffled too, and then she joined when Ymir gestured for her, and the three of them clung to each other. Ymir would never admit it, but she too felt tears wash over her face.

When they finally climbed out and into the cool night air, they were surprised to see no other demon in the area. While relieved, they were sceptical. Ymir felt a hard twinge of unease in her stomach, but for the moment, while everything seemed at peace, she let it go.

Letting it go didn’t mean that nothing would come of it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the chapter is a lil difficult to read. I formatted it really nicely in Word, but that went to shit here. Sigh. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> There is no playlist for chapter X

**X**

* * *

 

Krista dropped sluggishly onto the plush surface of her couch as it darkened slowly outside. She flicked her eyes to the clock, decided that it was late enough for a drink, and popped the cork to a wine bottle she had swiped from their pantry. Instead of using the glass—which she had at least removed from the cupboard—she merely tilted the bottle and took a few swallows before dropping the bottle down onto the coffee table. She sighed. It was too quiet.

Krista decided to switch the TV on and surf through the channels. She settled on a move, _Angels and Demons,_ which actually had nothing to do with angels or demons at all, and was more of a crime drama with a metaphorical title. She left it on anyway just to drown out the quiet.

Halfway through the movie the front door opened and closed quietly, and Krista perked lightly at the familiar swish of a suit jacket being hung on the hanger by their door and the footsteps that started down the hall. “I’m home.” A gentle voice called out. “Krista?”

Krista couldn’t stop herself from smiling. She turned and draped herself over the back of the couch, arms dangling from side to side. Nanaba stepped into the room, removing her tie, and paused at the sight of the smaller blonde. She lifted a brow upon noticing the light flush along Krista’s cheeks. Deciding to leave her shower for later, she plopped down beside Krista and pulled her feet up on her lap to massage them.

“Today is the day, huh?” Nanaba said.

Krista relaxed as Nanaba’s long fingers pressed into the heel of her foot, sending sparks of pleasure along her spine. “Today marks two years,” she admitted. “And I still get sad.”

Nanaba frowned. “That’s okay. It takes longer to get over someone.”

Krista didn’t respond. She reached for the wine again but Nanaba stopped her by grabbing her hand. “Hey!”

“No more for you, missy. You have work tomorrow.”

Krista wanted to protest, but suddenly Nanaba had her over her shoulder, and she ended up giggling and pounding on the blonde’s back. “Nanaba! Put me down!”

“Not until you take a long, hot bath to relax. I’m making dinner.”

Krista snorted. “What are you, my mother?”

“I’m someone that cares about you, Krista,” Nanaba responded. “And I don’t want Ymir’s two year absence be the downfall of your day.”

They reached the bathroom and Nanaba placed the small blonde down. She took to undressing her, clucking her tongue when Krista made no move to help.

“I loved her, Nanaba,” Krista said. “I can’t just get over it.”

When Krista was fully undressed Nanaba drew a bath for her, pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I did too. But we’re okay now, alright? We have each other and our families. So take this bath, relax and feel good about yourself, and then we’ll have a fantastic meal after.”

Krista rolled her eyes but smiled. “Thanks, Nana.”

Nanaba smiled radiantly and headed for the door. “My utmost pleasure, little blonde.”

Krista rolled her eyes and called after her. “Low hit, bigger blonde!”

Nanaba’s laughter bounced down the hallway as she headed down to the kitchen, and Krista decided to follow her order and climb into the hot water. She sunk down to her chin and thought of Ymir.

Today marked the day two years ago that Ymir had called Nanaba to fetch her from that hotel room, and had then disappeared from the planet of the earth. They had been young and stupid, Krista could see that now, but she still wondered if Ymir was okay. She still wondered where they would be if Ymir had decided to stay, instead.

XxX

Dinner had been fantastic, true to Nanaba’s word.

Now, with the next morning fresh and clear, and with the previous day done, Krista could feel herself again. It was only on those few days where she shared an anniversary of sorts with Ymir that she felt unlike herself—saddened, contemplative and broody.

She woke feeling much better, was greeted by Nanaba’s overly cheerful grin and too wonderful breakfast. The tall blonde dropped her off at work before leaving for her own job, and Krista settled in for another mundane work day. She worked at the local bookshop. It wasn’t a fantastic job, but she did enjoy reading, and since she’d been hired right out of highschool, it was good for the moment. Nanaba had managed to land a desk job thanks to Krista’s father, and the little blonde had a sneaky suspicion that they had been that eager simply because of their hope for Krista and Nanaba’s deepening relationship. Krista tended to ignore them.

It was 09:42, only a little into the day when the work phone went off and she had to drop the books she was packing to rush over and answer, since her co-workers were off doing something else and weren’t able to get away. She used to hate answering the phone, but it wasn’t as bad anymore.

“Krista speaking, how may I assist?” she spoke evenly, lowly, making sure to inject as much politeness and kindness into her tone as possible.

“Krista? Hey! I was hoping that you’d answer this time.”

Krista recognized the voice and laughed, relieved that it was someone she knew and not another angry customer. “Reiner!” she exclaimed. “What do you need? It’s not a book, is it?”

Reiner laughed on his end. “Not actually, no. I just know that you keep your phone off at work. I wanted to ask if you’d like to have coffee with me sometime. When are you off?”

Krista quickly retrieved her work timetable from underneath the counter and flipped through to the month, checking quickly to see when she had off. “Uh, I get off early today, actually. At one. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing important,” Reiner huffed. “Just wanted to see you.”

Krista had to fight off a smile. “You big softie.”

“So can I visit you at work today, at one? We can head over to that small coffee shop around the corner from where you work. You like it there, right?”

“I do, yeah. You paying?”

Reiner paused a moment and chuckled. “I’ll pay, it’s fine.”

“Great! I’ll see you at one then.”

“See you then, little blonde. Tell your bigger blonde I say hi.”

Krista rolled her eyes, but her cheeks hurt from her wide grin. “I will, big dumb blonde.”

“Hey!” Reiner cried out in mock outrage, but he began to laugh, cut off when Krista put the phone down on him. No doubt he would comment on that later, but she would leave it for then and focus on the task at hand.

“Was that your tall, blonde lover?” Krista’s co-worker asked, batting her eyelashes and grinning cheekily. Krista merely rolled her eyes and headed back to the shelf she had been busy on, thoughts of Reiner and coffee swirling in her head. She hadn’t seen him in a while, and wondered how he was doing. She also hadn’t had coffee in a while, so there was that too.

With a smile Krista lost herself in her work.

XxX

“I swear you get shorter every time I see you,” Reiner spouted playfully as he gave Krista a familiar hug, picking her up off her feet much to her dismay. When he put her down he laughed and dropped back into his seat. “I already ordered for you.”

Krista rolled her eyes and seated herself. The coffee smelt divine, she had to admit, and somehow Reiner had remembered what her favourite was. She sent him a kind smile before taking a first sip, then another large gulp.

“Oh good lord, that’s heavenly,” she groaned.

Reiner went red at the noise, and sheepishly scratched his cheek when Krista lifted a brow at him. “What?” he asked. “You made the noise, not me. So how have you been?”

Krista swallowed another mouthful before she responded. “Busy. The hours are tough. Yesterday I felt kinda shitty, but Nanaba was there to cheer me up.”

Reiner grew solemn. He looked down into his own coffee, aware of exactly why Krista had been down. That had been part of his reason for asking her to have coffee with him, just to make sure that she was okay. “I’m glad that you have her,” he told Krista. “The both of you really went through a lot. You’re stronger for it now.”

Krista smiled affectionately and nodded. “She changed my life. If Nanaba hadn’t been there, I don’t know where I would be today. And I’m sure I helped her just as much.”

Reiner nodded as well. He lightly traced the rim of his mug with a finger and chewed on his lip, wondering if he should just go ahead and ask or not. Would Krista react badly? Throw the coffee on him and leave? Or did he have a chance? He figured that he might as well try, so he did. “Hey, Krista…”

“Hm?”

“There’s something that I’ve wanted to ask you for a while, but I’ve felt like it’s still too early. Could I maybe try now?”

Krista grew guarded suddenly, suspicious, but she softened her expression at the nervous way that Reiner flicked his eyes away. She decided to just let him ask, and if she didn’t like what he had to say, she’d shut him down. “Sure, go ahead.”

Reiner looked up in surprise. Krista had sounded offhand, but he could feel the nervousness from her. She suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “Have you… I mean… It’s been a while, but… have you heard anything about her?”

Krista had expected the question, but it still made her heart clench in her chest. “No. Ymir disappeared two years ago. Her family tried looking for her. They even filed a missing person’s report, remember? No one has come forward and the case was dropped.”

Reiner shifted uncomfortable. He swallowed. “Do you think she’s okay?”

Krista shrugged. “I don’t know, but I hope she is. Look, Nanaba’s getting home early and I’d like to be there to greet her. Could you maybe drop me off at home?”

Reiner immediately nodded. He signalled the waiter over, paid for their drinks and then led Krista out to his car. She was quiet during the ride home. When they parked in her driveway, Reiner reached over to place a hand on her shoulder.

“Look, I shouldn’t have mentioned anything. I’m sorry.”

Krista shook her head and leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek. “Don’t worry about it. Thanks for the coffee. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled kindly and nodded. “Whenever you need me, you know that.”

She laughed as she climbed out. As she waved goodbye and watched him drive off, she wondered about the mystery of life. When she had first met Reiner, he had been a total ass. Now they were close enough to cuddle and watch movies—platonically. It was nice, to have a male friend like that, with no unnecessary sexual tension. It was really, really nice. And she did like him as a person. He was fun to be around, and he was also sweet, but he would not warm her bed or her heart.

Once she was inside, she took a short shower and ordered take-out. No doubt Nanaba would be tired when she got home and in no mood to cook, and since she had been so sweet the night before, Krista wanted her to relax. While she waited for the pizza to arrive, she took a seat in the lounge and pulled her laptop out. The internet was many things, she had discovered, but above all it was addictive. Krista hadn’t cared much for social media before Ymir had left, but now she took great satisfaction in it. Ymir had created a Facebook account when they had been in school, simply because Nanaba had pestered her to, but had never used it. That was where Krista found herself, scrolling through Ymir’s wall as if a new post would pop up. The last one dated back three years ago, and a tight knot formed in Krista’s stomach.

_Ymir…_

She quickly chastised herself and then went through her Facebook feed, liking pictures and statuses from friends and co-workers. She giggled at a joke Nanaba had posted the previous night, and then smiled at a picture the tall blonde had snuck, of Krista fast asleep in the bed and Nanaba crouching quietly above her, grinning mischievously. She would have to pick on Nanaba for that later, but for now she simply liked it and left a comment: “ _Seriously, bigger blonde? You’re a total creep, you know that? XD but I look cute ;D”_

Sighing, she scrolled some more until she reached the old posts that she had seen before. She refreshed the page and decided to look through the new posts and then put her laptop down to do something more productive. After three more posts from the top Krista froze. Her heart shot into her throat and nearly exploded, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. There, right on her feed, was something that couldn’t possibly be true.

**Ymir**  
Just now

Wow, it’s all just as I remember. Can’t believe it’s been so long. Wonder who stuck around?

Like ∙ Comment ∙ Share

The time must have been only a few minutes ago. Krista suddenly couldn’t think straight. Her heart continued to lurch and she felt almost sick with nerves. Nanaba decided to arrive home then, and she stopped by the couch with a furrowed brow.

“Krista? The pizza guy was waiting outside. He said he rang four times but you never answered. Is everything okay?”

Krista didn’t move. Her eyes were glued to the screen and her pulse hammered. Was this really Ymir? If so, then why did she decide to make a random post? The only people that she had on her friend list were Krista and Nanaba. Unless…

“Krista?”

“Nanaba,” she blonde choked out. “Look.”

Nanaba did, and she became just as shocked. She tried to swallow, but couldn’t, and quietly left to take a shower, to get over the shock. Krista just sat there, silently, heavily, and then she reached out with a shaky hand and liked the status. She almost began to cry when, a minute later, Ymir liked her status, too. It was almost as if she was doing it on purpose, but Krista was too afraid to hope.

She did anyway.

XxX

For the next week Krista could barely contain herself, could barely function. She knew that it wasn’t healthy for her to act the way she was, and Nanaba was largely concerned—though she didn’t sleep well either. It was just… Ymir had made a post, had liked it only after Krista had. The blonde had closely watched her Facebook for days, waiting for a new post, for a status update or a photo or even a like or comment. But there was nothing. She grew frustrated, had to go back to the post to convince herself that it really had happened and she wasn’t seeing things. A big part of her really wanted to comment on the post, to ask the one question she needed the answer to. But she was scared.

After getting home from work on the weekend, Krista immediately went to her laptop and logged onto Facebook. She forced herself not to head over to Ymir’s wall, of which she had bookmarked already, and instead focused on changing her profile picture to a cute kitten. She took a while sifting through her image folder to choose one, pretending that it was a difficult decision, when really she was just delaying the inevitable. After the image was loaded and saved, she lightly tapped on the side of the laptop before she finally exhaled and decided to make a post of her own.

Exhaling shakily, Krista’s hands hovered over the keyboard and then she began to type in quick succession. Before long the status was typed, and she only considered it for a second before she clicked post, and then she held her breath.

            **Historia Krista Reiss**  
            Just now

Wow, work was tough. Reiner was sweet enough to drop off coffee, though! Nanaba where are you? I’m lonely at home alone!

Like ∙ Comment ∙ Share

She hadn’t intended to use both Reiner and Nanaba in her status, but a sick part of her did it in site. If Ymir was watching, she wanted the brunette to feel sick with jealousy. She didn’t know why she wanted Ymir to feel that way.

A breathed passed before a light chime caught Krista’s attention and Facebook notified her of activity on her news feed. Her heart leaped into her throat, but then she swallowed lightly in relief when it was only Nanaba.

**Historia Krista Reiss**  
            Just now

Wow, work was tough. Reiner was sweet enough to drop off coffee, though! Nanaba where are you? I’m lonely at home alone! (~_~;)

Like ∙ Comment ∙ Share

**Nanaba** I’m at work, little blonde. Where else? And Reiner dropped by??? Where’s my coffee?

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 1 min

Krista gigged lightly and relaxed slightly on the couch. She heard the notification chime again, and smiled at Reiner’s quick reply. She read over it, grinning, and decided to join the conversation as well.

**Historia Krista Reiss**  
            14 min

Wow, work was tough. Reiner was sweet enough to drop off coffee, though! Nanaba where are you? I’m lonely at home alone! (~_~;)

Like ∙ Comment ∙ Share

**Nanaba** I’m at work, little blonde. Where else? And Reiner dropped by??? Where’s my coffee?

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 12 min

            **Reiner Buff Braun** yo biggr blnde u wernt ther, so…..

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 11 min

            **Nanaba** oh but you have time to visit our little blonde, but not me?

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 10 min

            **Reiner Buff Braun** i swear Nanaba I luv u bt srly

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 10 min

**Historia Krista Reiss** Guys calm down. It’s just coffee, which was delicious, thank you Reiner ( ^^) _旦~~

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 8 min

**Reiner Buff Braun** luv u guys but gtg. Bert n me r headn out. Chat latr

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 7 min

**Nanaba** Wow he really needs to learn how to spell words out fully and not abbreviate everything.

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 5 min

**Historia Krista Reiss** ikr. Smh

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 5 min

**Nanaba** Oi! Anyway, I have to get back to work. I’ll make dinner when I get home. Watch a movie, ‘kay? I won’t be much longer.

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 2 min

**Historia Krista Reiss** Okay Nana, be safe and don’t hurt your brain! (^0_0^)

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 1 min

**Nanaba** lol, will try ^^

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 1 min

**Historia Krista Reiss** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Like ∙ Reply ∙ 1 min

Krista sighed. The conversation hadn’t been long, and she wished that it could have stretched out more. It hadn’t succeeding in distracting her. Krista’s pulse was still racing. Part of her wondered what Ymir was thinking, if she was out there somewhere, reading the conversation, seeing the way in which they spoke affectionately to each other. She wondered if it bothered her, wondered why she wanted it to, and was about to close her laptop with a huff when Facebook beeped again and she paused long enough to click on her notifications for the pop-up. Afterwards she froze.

**Ymir** liked your status  
    a minute ago

In the chat bar to the right Krista saw a bright green circle next to Ymir’s name, and new that she was online and that she was logged on with mobile. Her throat tightened, and for a moment she considered just closing her laptop. But her hands moved before she could stop them, and she clicked on Ymir’s contact to open up the chat pop-up. When it opened her breath left her, and it took a long moment for her to finally unfreeze her fingers and make a move to type. But that point Ymir had already logged off, and Krista tried to stave off the disappointment because of it.

Hesitantly, she typed, ‘ _Ymir?’_

A heartbeat, then two, and then Ymir was suddenly online again, and small dots appeared at the bottom bar of the chat, letting Krista know that Ymir was typing. When the message finally popped up, Krista had to struggle with her breath and force some moisture along her dry tongue.

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** Ymir?

**Ymir  
** Yo

Krista frowned almost instantly. ‘ _Yo’?_ she thought, incredulous.

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** Is this really Ymir, or did you hack her account?

**Ymir  
** It’s me, Krista

Need proof? I’ll send a pic

Krista sucked in a deep breath. She could barely believe what was happening, but she decided to pretend that she wasn’t freaking out and close to some kind of breakdown caused by too much excitement.

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** Please. Pic or it didn’t happen

**_Ymir_ ** _sent an image_

Krista swallowed and clicked on it, waited for it to load, and then nearly tossed her laptop off of her lap and collapsed in relief, shock and rage all in one. The image wasn’t of a face, it was of Ymir’s marks. There was no way some stranger could have found any images of Ymir’s marks, so this really was her, and it hit Krista suddenly, and _hard._

**Ymir  
** Believe me?

Krista?

Too much, right? Should I stop messaging you?

…

I’m sorry

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** I’m almost dead from choking on my own tongue. Just wait a moment.

**Ymir  
** Okay

You okay now?

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** Yeah, sorry. So… hi, Ymir. It’s been a while.

There was a long pause. Krista took the time to realize how normal the conversation sounded, and how easy it was to make it that way. She didn’t have to physically face Ymir, only type words onto a screen. It was easy, it was quick and effortless, but her chest began to ache. Eventually Ymir replied and Krista spazzed in happiness at the notification.

**Ymir  
** It has. How have you been?

Krista frowned.

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** How have I been? Ymir, you disappeared for two years. Where the hell have you been? Are you alive? Who is taking care of you? Please, just tell me you’re alright

**Ymir  
** First, breathe. Don’t pass out on me, okay? Secondly, I was never your concern.

Before you freak out, like I know you want to, just hear me out.

You took on too much responsibility when it came to me.

So don’t stress about what happened to me when you left. I’m safe, alive and happy. Now, back to my question.

How have you been?

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** I’ve missed you

**Ymir  
** Look, I have to go. I waited for you to chat first. I don’t want to scare you away. I have a new cellphone number and email. A new phone, actually. If you want to talk to me, or meet, you can contact me anytime. Literally anytime you want. Okay?

**Historia Krista Reiss  
** Okay

She left it at that, not sure what else to say. Ymir logged off then, and Krista quickly went over to her Facebook wall. There was a new post, this time a picture, with Ymir in all her glory standing next to someone that looked exactly like her. Before Krista wondered who the person—a sister?—was, she was swept away by the sheer difference in the Ymir in the picture compared to the Ymir she remembered. It also helped that Ymir was wearing a tank top, with longish hair tied in a messy ponytail at the base of her neck, some stuck to the sides of her face with sweat. Her biceps were flexed, and she grinned cheekily at the camera as the person beside her did the same. Krista regained herself and continued on with her original reason for looking, and felt the blood drained from her face.

**Ymir –** with **Amir** at Malia Central Station

Once again, Krista couldn’t breathe. Tears threatened to pour down her face, but she kept them at bay. Unfortunately she couldn’t keep her heart from beating as hard as it was, or for hurting. And the pain just wouldn’t stop.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter XI

**XI**

* * *

 

Krista was certain that there wasn’t anything as boring as the news station on TV. Nanaba insisted that they at least watch the latest stories to keep in touch with the outside world. What’s the use? All those people were suffering and dying, and they would never meet them. But the tall blonde had a point, at least, so they found themselves sitting in the lounge, pressed together on the couch. Krista found herself nestled atop Nanaba’s lap, with Nanaba’s long fingers combing gently through her freshly washed hair.

“Krista,” Nanaba voiced softly. Her chest vibrated and Krista shivered lightly. “Focus on the TV, not my fingers.”

Krista snorted softly and titled her head to look at her companion. “That’s not what you said last night.”

Nanaba’s hand paused and then a bright scarlet flooded her cheeks. She pulled her hand away as if burnt and then hissed lightly between her teeth. “Krista!”

Krista flopped onto the couch beside Nanaba and laughed until her lungs burnt. Tears pooled at her eyes, even, and Nanaba’s glare only made it funnier. “Nanaba, you are too precious for this world.”

“And you really need to get laid,” Nanaba shot back in irritation, though an amused smile played at her lips. She crossed her arms over her chest and cast a look towards the hallway, pretending to be mightily offended. It wouldn’t work, she knew.

“Well you’re available,” Krista joked. When Nanaba’s eyes widened and her head whipped around, Krista cooled her expression and cocked a brow. “You getting any either, Nana? Hmm? I’m right here and willing.”

A flicker of something passed over Nanaba’s eyes, but she looked away quickly and cleared her throat. “No more wine for you,” she scolded.

“Chicken?” Krista didn’t know why she was egging Nanaba on like this. She should have simply let it be. Changed the topic and pretend that it had never happened, but she was suddenly thinking of Ymir, her heart began pounding. Nanaba was just… there. Right there. So close. Ymir was too, but she felt too far away.

Nanaba studied her for a long, quiet moment. The blush remained brightly on her skin, and only seemed to deepen when she suddenly moved forward, forcing Krista to startle and turn over onto her back. Nanaba placed a hand to either side of her head, eyes wide. “Eager and willing?” she asked softly. Her eyes narrowed.

Krista sucked in a deep breath. Her mind raced and she had no idea what was about to happen. Without her consent her heart stuttered in her chest.

Nanaba’s brows connected as she bit her lower lip. And then slowly, hesitantly, she leaned down. Krista jumped only slightly when Nanaba’s palm pressed to her cheek, gently cradling it, and then they were so close they were sharing air. Krista could barely breathe. She watched Nanaba closely, waited as she moved in. She flicked her eyes down to the tall blonde’s lips and then closed her eyes. A second passed, two, and then Nanaba’s lips covered her own. It was awkward, but Krista responded, moving to pull Nanaba’s lower lip between her own. She furrowed her brows as well, went along with it for a short moment, and then they pulled away, panting.

“That was…” Krista started, searching for words.

Nanaba sat back and covered her face with her hand. “While you’re a good kisser,” she said softly, cheeks blazing. “Let’s never do that again.”

Krista sat up as well, nodding. “Definitely,” she agreed.

“That was weird.”

“Nice, but weird.”

“Nice?”

Krista laughed softly. “I can’t say I never thought about moving on and falling in love with you, Nanaba,” she admitted.

Nanaba straightened and a look of panic took her face. “Krista, I didn’t… I mean…”

“Relax. That was a while ago. I do love you to death.” She leaned in and playfully bumped their shoulders. “Hell, I wouldn’t even mind kissing you again. It’s just, you’re really important to me. We don’t have to blur the lines. We’re closer than friends, yes, but we aren’t lovers.”

Nanaba nodded. “Imagine if we did end up together, though. Reiner would be devastated.”

Krista barked out a laugh, but grew serious quickly. Nanaba did so as well, and ‘ _Ymir would be too_ ’ hung heavily between them. So they silently decided to drop the subject, forget the kiss and consider it nothing more than a confirmation that as much as they wanted to move on, they couldn’t. Nanaba was just about to stand up and head off to shower when she glanced at the TV quickly and gasped. Krista heard the sound, opened her mouth to ask what was wrong and then froze as well.

On the TV, an unfamiliar face glared at them through the screen. The usual broadcast had been interrupted, hijacked, or something. It was obvious that someone had switched all TV stations to this one, though if it was recorded or live, they couldn’t tell.

_“Good evening,_ ” the person started, in a deep, husky voice. Krista had a sudden foreboding feeling. _“My name is Dante. You may return to your usual viewing in a moment. For now I have a message.”_ Suddenly the strange woman’s eyes flashed dark, clouding over in grey before melting into black and red, and both Krista and Nanaba felt panic fill their stomachs. _“I am a demon,”_ she continued. Horns slowly began to grow atop her forehead, blood spilling down her darkly tanned skin. _“We live among you. We are your neighbours, your workers, your friends. We are everywhere and nowhere. We have decided that this is the dawning age of our reveal. We will no longer live in the shadows, painted as beasts from an ethereal realm. We are nothing more than creatures such as yourselves. I am a demon. I am alive. I am real. I wish to meet with your human leader, to discuss a treaty among our people, to gift us land and rights. If you do not meet with me at the allotted time, I will start a war that you cannot win. I will repeat this one more time. I am Dante and I am a demon. You have twenty four hours. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”_

The screen went black, and then flashed brightly when the news station returned. The anchor-woman looked shocked, her skin pale, eyes wide. For a long moment she shuffled through her papers, speechless, but then someone ran up to her table, muttered quick words and then hurried off. The woman regained her calm and stared straight ahead, and then she continued with a minor story. Once that was done, she turned over to the demon message and Krista quickly shut the TV off.

“Krista, what does this mean?”

Krista shook her head as she reached for her phone and opened up her social app. After tapping on Ymir’s name, she opened up her touch keyboard and then rapidly tapped at the screen.

**Krista:  
** Ymir? A demon named Dante just came out to the world. What’s going on?

Ymir never responded. The app showed that she had last been active an hour ago, and she wasn’t looking at her phone. Wasn’t pausing to read the message. That frightened Krista more than anything. Was Ymir running around thanks to this message, in a panic, or perhaps was she a part of it? Was it a coincidence that this message happened just after Ymir finally returned to her? Krista’s head began to pound. She held her phone so tightly that her hand shook violently, skin drained to white. She jumped when Nanaba placed a warm hand on her shoulder, then nervously licked her lips.

“It’s not our business,” Nanaba told her softly. “Let the government deal with it.”

Krista nodded but her eyes said no. “What if it’s something to do with Ymir?” she asked softly, brokenly. “What if…. What if her dream happened? Or is going to happen?”

Nanaba opened her mouth but knew not what to say, so she shut it. Krista had a point, and there was nothing she could really say against it. For all they knew, Ymir could be here specifically for this message.

They had no idea that Ymir, in fact, _was._

XxX

Ymir’s mind wondered briefly to her phone, since it had vibrated a while ago and she hadn’t had the heart to read the message. They all sat quietly, watching the TV, not saying a word. It was only when Amir’s phone rang and the demon answered it that they woke from their slumber, from the shock. Ymir went over to her mother and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry,” she breathed softly, in comfort.

“I know, I saw it, yeah,” Amir spoke behind them. She joined the other two brunettes and took Damian’s hand to steady herself. “Hanji, I get it… yeah, I know!” she paused, sighed and shared a look with Ymir, who looked far too wise for her age. Ymir knew. She knew. “We can’t, Hanji.” Amir slumped, shoulders drooping. “And if it doesn’t?” She was grim, and the silence was almost suffocating. Ymir hated the way their mood had dropped so suddenly. _Damn you, Dante,_ Ymir thought. _But damn you for being right._

“We might need to leave,” Damian muttered softly. Her eyes had drifted back to the TV screen, eyebrows drooped low, lips pulled down in an unimpressed frown. Ymir was normally amused by how identical that expression was to her own, often, but not now. Definitely not now.

“It’s okay,” Ymir told her. “I can do this.”

Amir ended the call with a sigh, but she looked a little higher. She lifted her face and met her daughter’s eyes. “Maybe you don’t have to,” she said. “Hanji said that she thinks Dante will leave you alone. As long as humans don’t know about you, Dante doesn’t have to concern herself with you. But, if the humans want to go to war, then she might expose you to give them something bigger and scarier to fear.”

Ymir swallowed, but gave a firm nod, once. “I get it,” she said. “And I’m ready. I’ve been preparing for this.”

Amir pulled her daughter and wife in for a hug. “Let’s hope for the best, then,” she said. “And make the best out of this sudden holiday, yeah?”

Ymir grinned against Amir’s shoulder, but snorted and pulled away to roll her eyes. “You’re just a dope, dad, you know that?”

Damian snickered and lightly shoved Amir by the shoulder. “We know why you wanted us to come here,” she said.

“What?” Amir asked, either genuinely confused or suddenly very good at acting.

Ymir merely rolled her eyes again, leaned down to kiss her mother on the cheek and then headed for the door. She waved over her shoulder before she shoved her hand back into her pocket and slipped out the front door.

Both Amir and Damian watched her go, and then Amir sighed. “I really want her to be happy again,” she said.

“She is happy,” Damian argued.

“Well, _happier._ ”

“Happiness does not simply zero in on her love life, you know.”

Amir shrugged. “Yeah, I know. But I know how you make me feel, how much better I am with you. I want that for her. Krista was her rock. Without that girl, babe, our daughter would be a mess right now. Possibly even dead.”

Damian rolled her eyes again and playfully slapped Amir in the stomach. She quickly stopped Amir’s whine with a kiss. “Sure thing, cupid. Let’s start dinner, yeah?”

Amir chuckled and leaned in for a fuller kiss. “Whatever you want, light of my life.”

Ymir had apparently returned, and she walked in on her parents sharing another private moment. She rolled her eyes, yelled “okay, gross,” but grinned widely all the way to her room. When the door was shut, she finally pulled her phone out and read Krista’s message.

For the life of her, Ymir couldn’t figure out why her hands had suddenly gone cold, or why her skin prickled as if her horns were out, even though they weren’t.

XxX

“What?” Reiner exclaimed, pale face going bright red until the tips of his ears. “You kissed each other?”

Krista pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle as Nanaba quickly waved a hand in urgency. “Don’t yell!” the tall blonde whispered fiercely. She glanced around the coffee shop, noticing the few stares thrown their way, and blushed as well.

“Seriously?” Reiner continued. His lips pursed, hands clamping together. At first he simply appeared shocked, then amused, and then confused. “So the two of you… are you…?”

Krista grinned but shook her head. “Dating? Nah. We’re getting married next week.”

Nanaba choked on a laugh and Reiner simply choked on his tongue. They waited for him to recover, and when he had the both of them laughed outright. “No,” Nanaba said. “Krista’s just joking.”

“It was in the heat of the moment,” Krista explained. “Um, Ymir… she contacted me recently. I was in a mood.”

“Me too, apparently,” Nanaba muttered softly. Only Krista heard, and the small blonde couldn’t stop herself from blushing lightly at the implication of the comment. If Nanaba noticed that she had heard, the tall blonde didn’t react.

“So what, you suddenly get hot for each other?” the man asked.

Nanaba went a little redder. “Not exactly…”

“We only kissed.”

“For how long?” Reiner asked. His cheeks seemed to flush with renewed blood, and the two women wondered exactly why he was blushing this time.

“About ten seconds?” Nanaba said, more a question than an answer, and lifted a brow at Krista for confirmation or correction.

Krista sighed dramatically and leaned against Nanaba’s side—the two were seated beside each other, with Reiner across the table from them, each nursing a hot cup of coffee. “Well,” she leaned up, pressed a finger underneath Nanaba’s chin and then tilted her head around until their eyes met. Nanaba visibly swallowed but didn’t seem to mind. She blinked, and then her eyebrows shot high when Krista leaned in and brushed their lips together. Reiner once again began to choke, but on his coffee this time. As quickly as it had happened, it ended, and Krista straightened in her seat. She was the only one smirking—the other two were embarrassed and flushed, and looking everywhere but at Krista. “It was about ten seconds, but I wouldn’t have minded one more.”

Reiner nervously scratched his neck. “I’m confused,” he admitted. “You say you’re not into each other—which is strange because like, you live together and you basically breathe together. We all thought that after Ymir left, you both would just, you know, get it on and forget her.”

Krista sighed. “Reiner, I love Nanaba,” she confirmed. “And kissing her was awesome, really. But it was… um… what word can I use?”

“Out of place,” Nanaba supplied. Her blush had disappeared, and left behind was a gentle, affectionate look in her eyes—one that could very easily be mistaken for romantic love. It wasn’t.

“That’s it!” Krista jumped in excitement and then lifted a hand to give Nanaba a high-five. Reiner felt left out, so he stretched his arm out across the table, palm out, waiting. Krista grinned and high-fived him too. “Basically, I’m way closer with Nanaba than mere friendship. We have an intimate relationship. But that doesn’t make it romantic or sexual, you know?”

“So you guys aren’t banging?” Reiner asked, just to be sure.

Nanaba snorted softly, lids lowering to narrow her eyes at the blonde man. “Why do you sound disappointed?”

Reiner smiled widely and fluttered his lashes. “I may have a fantasy or two.”

“Gross.” Krista lightly kicked him underneath the table but it only made Reiner laugh. He shrugged, looking sheepish.

“Sorry, guy hormones and all.”

Krista rolled her eyes. “Nice excuse.”

Nanaba chuckled under her breath and then quieted to drink her coffee, which had cooled down considerably while they had all been yammering away. She listened intently as Reiner and Krista began to argue about what kind of lover the tall blonde would be—a top or a bottom? Nanaba ignored them for the most of it, ignored the blush on her face and the tug at her heart. As she finished half of her coffee, she looked across the room and caught eyes staring at her. She looked away at first, but then flicked her eyes right back. It was a woman. Tall and tan, with freckles in abundance and long brown hair tied up at the back of her head. She wasn’t drinking coffee, or reading a newspaper. She was staring—pointedly. Only staring at Nanaba. Her eyes were deep and brown, and sudden panic clawed up Nanaba’s throat. She saw such familiarity there that her mouth went dry. It wasn’t but… Ymir?

The woman continued to stare, her face so hard and calculating, much like Ymir’s had always been. But there was age and wisdom in her eyes that Ymir never had. She also did not have the marks. But part of Nanaba still responded, her heart pounding, the familiar pull of butterflies in her stomach. Her legs turned to jelly. And then, as if the woman _knew_ , she smirked and it looked so much like Ymir’s that it _hurt_.

“Nanaba, tell this idiot that he’s being an idiot!” Krista exclaimed, yanking on Nanaba’s arm to pull her into the conversation.

Nanaba’s head snapped around, eyes wide and wild. She cleared her throat and licked her dry lips, but it didn’t help. “Huh?”

Reiner and Krista grew serious and shared a look. “You okay there, buddy?” Reiner asked in concern. He reached over to give Nanaba a pat on the shoulder.

Nanaba shot a look towards where the woman had been, but she was gone. The chair at the table was pushed in, the table cloth neat and un-messed. It was almost as if no one had been sitting there, as if it had been a hallucination. Nanaba swallowed and nodded slowly. “Yeah, sorry. Why is he being an idiot?”

Reiner looked like he wanted to push the topic, but let it drop. Instead he pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “I feel left out,” he whined playfully.

“He means,” Krista clarified. “That I kissed you, but not him. He wants in on the action.”

Nanaba frowned. “Ew.”

“Hey!”

Krista giggled and stood. “Alright,” she said, ignoring the shocked looks from both of her friends. “I’m a fair person. Pucker up, meat head.”

It was clear that Reiner had been joking. His eyes went so wide that Nanaba almost jumped forward to catch them if they fell out. His mouth popped open and closed, a word stuck in his throat. When Krista made it around the table, he sent Nanaba a frightened look. But Krista merely pressed a kiss to his forehead, giggled and then jumped away when the blonde man attempted to grab her.

“You little shit!” he yelled, ignoring the irritated looks from other people in the café.

Krista laughed. “Thought I’d really smooch you? That’s why you’re an idiot, Reiner.”

Nanaba shook her head, but she couldn’t quite insert herself into the mood. The woman from earlier pressed down on her mind. Who was she and why did she look so much like Ymir? It wasn’t really the facial features. It had merely been the set of her mouth, the hardness in her eyes, the way her face looked empty of emotion yet full of it at the same time. The freckles, too.

“Nanaba!” Krista waved a hand in front of her housemate’s face. “Are the lights on with no one home?”

Nanaba blinked. “Sorry.”

“Reiner has to head back to work and I do too. Are you good to head off home alone? He’s gonna drop me off.”

Nanaba nodded and stood on shaky legs. “Yeah, sure.”

Krista smiled, but something flashed across her eyes. Nanaba immediately knew what it meant. Krista knew something had happened. Krista knew that Nanaba had seen something or recalled something that had put her in shock. Krista would ask about it later. Nanaba at least had time to think of a way to explain it without telling the whole truth.

“Be safe,” Krista cautioned softly. She stood on her tip toes to wrap her arms around Nanaba’s neck, and then gave her a long, affectionate hug. “Promise me?”

Nanaba smiled into Krista’s neck and wrapped her up in a firm embrace. She set her back down, masked her upset with a grin and nodded. “Always am. When you get home I’ll have dinner waiting.”

Krista stepped away and then winked. “You better.”

Nanaba rolled her eyes. “Don’t I always?”

Krista then turned away from Nanaba and rushed to meet Reiner on the sidewalk outside. She felt Nanaba’s eyes on her back, but she didn’t turn to look. Just after climbing into the car, Krista spotted a familiar face peering at her from the alley beside the café. It made her blood run cold. At first she thought it was Ymir, and her heart nearly stopped altogether. But then her brain caught up with her and Reiner reversed out of the parking. It wasn’t Ymir, she knew, but the woman looked like her. And suddenly Krista knew what Nanaba had seen, and she remained silent on the rest of the way to work.

XxX

_How badly did I fuck things up back then?_ Ymir wondered to herself. She was seated on the porch in the backyard, phone twirling in her hand. Her parents were hovering by the door but they didn’t step out, letting Ymir have a moment for herself. The brunette was grateful. But her mind began to wonder, and she thought about the last two years. A lot had happened, that was for sure. Krista wouldn’t believe how much she had changed.

A little smile danced at Ymir’s lips, but then it quickly dropped.

Krista might not even want to believe it. Sure, they’d chatted over social media a bit. But Ymir sensed a lingering anger and resentment there. Krista couldn’t have gotten over everything, not when it had all ended the way it did. Though Ymir didn’t regret her decisions at all. Not even the way she had made them. At the time it was her only option, the safest option. In the end sending Krista away had saved them both.

_But will she want me back in her life?_

Ymir sighed and rubbed a hand against her forehead. A lock of hair came loose from behind her ear and brushed against her cheek, and she huffed as she swept it back into place. Maybe she should get her hair cut again soon, it was already at her jaw.

“Ymir?” It was Damian, standing by the back door with her shoulders drooped. “Are you alright?”

Ymir glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “I’m fine, mom. Where’s dad?”

Damian rolled her eyes. “Watching the news.”

“Keep her company then,” Ymir responded softly. Damian caught the plea and nodded once before disappearing inside, throwing a single glance at Ymir just for measure— _if you need me, I’m here for you._

Ymir turned back around and then focused on her shoes. It was supposed to be cold, apparently, but she didn’t feel it. She never felt the cold. Her body was warm enough that she could walk outside naked, during snow fall, and feel completely fine. The snow would melt under her feet. It was pretty weird, so Ymir tried to at least wear warmish clothes when going out. She drew enough attention as it was, she had to do _something_ to gain a little less. Not that she didn’t enjoy all eyes on her, mind you.

A soft breeze blew by, rustling Ymir’s messy hair. Before she could swear in annoyance, her phone began to buzz. The number was unknown but Ymir still answered it.

“How is it being back at a place you ran from?”

Ymir’s entire body froze. “You have no right to call me.”

Dante chuckled. “I don’t, you’re right. Just thought I’d be polite and ask how you’re doing, Lucifer-born.”

“My power is sealed away. Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, but it is not. What would it take to break that seal, hm? By the way, Krista is absolutely lovely this close up.” There was a pregnant pause, and Ymir strained her ears painfully and heard a slight puff of air over the line, not from Dante. It was short and laboured, almost panicked, and a soft heartbeat followed it. Ymir’s throat closed up and she jumped when her phone vibrated again. “A gift,” Dante chuckled over the line. “I’m curious to see how you’ll react.”

Ymir lowered her phone to look at the message, and felt her panic rise when it was a very, very close up picture of Krista, dressed for the weather, nose pink from the cold. She looked distressed, scared.

Ymir wasted no time. She began to run. The phone dropped into the mud, the screen throwing pale light through the darkness. Dante heard it all, chuckled and then ended the call. Ymir saw nothing but Dante’s blood on her hands, and her shirt tore as her wings exploded from her back and carried her into the night.

_I’m coming, Krista. Don’t worry. I’ll save you._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter XII

**XII**

* * *

 

It was way too cold for this time of year. Even a thick coat and a warm scarf weren’t enough to keep Krista from shivering. Her nose had gone pink, too. It was also dark, and Reiner was late. Krista hated when he had to stay at work a few extra minutes, because she always had to stand around and wait by the building entrance, suspicious of every car and every person that walked by. It wasn’t nice, really. Not at all.

At least this time the parking lot was relatively empty, save for a few cars left by employees that were staying late or only just leaving. Krista realized though, that the area being this empty wasn’t exactly a good thing for her. Especially when someone walked around a corner and headed straight to her. Krista saw the person in her peripheral vision, but not did turn to look. Her heart began to pound.

The individual took large, heavy steps, as if to alert her that they were walking towards her. Krista couldn’t decide if it was an attempt to be kind or creepy. Still, she didn’t look at the stranger or acknowledge their presence. She quickly took her phone out and opened up her chat with Reiner, hoping to see a message from him that he would be on his way. There was nothing. The stranger had just paused beside her.

“Excuse me,” the person said. “Could you give me the time?”

Krista flinched only slightly, but forced her lungs to take in enough oxygen to calm her heart, and nodded shortly. She turned her phone’s screen and lifted it, allowing the stranger to read the time at the top right corner. When the stranger leaned down—they were so tall—Krista felt for the oddest moment that she had seen this person somewhere.

“Ah, thank you,” they said, smiling. They straightened, still smiling, and pulled their own phone out of their pocket.

Krista’s arm dropped and her eyebrows furrowed. If this person had a phone then… Then why ask for the time? Krista’s spine straightened and her heart stuttered as she remembered why this person was so familiar. That face… the voice… the glimmer of something totally inhuman in those eyes. Krista quickly slipped her phone back into her pocket and then took in some more even breaths. Reiner would be there soon. He would pick her up and take her home and this would have simply been absurd paranoia. But it wasn’t.

“How is it being back at a place you ran from?” the stranger—no, _Dante_ , the demon from the broadcast—spoke suddenly into her phone. “I don’t, you’re right. Just thought I’d be polite and ask how you’re doing, Lucifer-born,” she continued.

Krista could feel the colour draining from her face. All the memories she had tried to push away returned, washing around in her mind, beating at her skull—the times Ymir would be sick, when Ymir had been covered in all those people’s blood, when Ymir’s demon eyes had frightened her, when she had been captured and tortured, when she and Nanaba spent nights together, awake and afraid, sobbing and too afraid to leave their shared room. Something in her chest began to burn, especially so when Krista knew without a doubt who this demon was talking to, and why she was here now, on the phone, calling Ymir.

This wasn’t happening. Not again.

Oh but it was.

“Oh, but it is not. What would it take to break that seal, hm? By the way, Krista is absolutely lovely this close up.”

The sound of her name made the pounding in her head louder, her spine jolt even further upright. It was almost difficult to breathe now—not only because of the situation, but because of the memories. They weren’t good ones. The nice memories were buried underneath black eyes and showers of blood. Krista could hear each puff of air as it rushed out of her mouth, rushed back in. Over and over. She felt light headed.

There was the sound of a phone camera and then a flash of light, so sudden that Krista could only blink and it was over. But she did not move, did not react.

“A gift,” Dante added, some form of malice in her voice as she delivered the next line. “I’m curious to see how you’ll react.”

Krista swallowed but her mouth was dry. She heard the demon release a chuckle, and then the phone call ended. A hand suddenly landed on her shoulder, the touch sending tendrils of ice through her veins. The burning in Krista’s chest intensified, singeing her insides until she recognized what it was—hot fury.

“I hate to do this,” Dante breathed. The malice was gone. The aggression she had exuded disappeared as well. She sounded almost sorrowful, and that only served to make Krista angrier. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt Ymir. But I fear that humans will attack me, and I need Ymir’s power on my side.”

“So you antagonize her?” Krista spat out. Her breaths were still ragged but she was pleased that her voice held the pure venom she felt. The hand disappeared from her shoulder, and she finally turned to have a good look at the tall demon. Dante looked taken aback. “You think threatening me is going to make her _want_ to work with you?” Krista laughed—it was angry and insane at the same time. “I’m not some fucking toy that Ymir cherishes.” She took a step towards Dante. Dante did not move. “I’m not a doll that she misplaced, something for you to throw around to get her attention.”

Dante swallowed. “Krista, please understand. What I’m trying to do will help Ymir, it will help all of us.”

Krista rolled her eyes. Her eyes flashed darkly and she moved forward, far more quickly than Dante thought she could. In her hand she held a knife, and she pressed it to Dante’s side. “Do you think I sat at home and did nothing but cry about Ymir all this time? I knew one day she might return, or someone might find me to get to her.”

Dante’s eyebrows were lifted high on her forehead. She looked like she wanted to grin, but she didn’t. Instead she regarded Krista with seriousness. “That was smart of you, learning self-defence.”

“I know I’m no match for you,” Krista said. It came out softly, almost faint. “I know you can turn me into a stain on the floor. But at least I can put up a fight.”

“I don’t want to kill you, Krista.”

This time Krista smirked. “No? You will now.” She plunged the knife, half expecting her target to disappear, surprised when it hit its mark and sunk in deeply. She sliced through Dante’s kidney and the demon jerked back immediately. Either Dante really hadn’t expected that or she had allowed it to happen. Krista wasn’t going to stick around to find out. She turned and bolted.

“Krista!” Dante called after her.

The wind rushed by her ears and Krista’s lungs burnt. Her feet pounded on the tar as she headed for the exit to the underground parking. She didn’t make it far before three figures descended from the ceiling, landing on the ground with so much force that the concrete cracked. Three pairs of glowing red eyes glared angrily at her, and Krista stumbled back to run the other way. But Dante stood there, bathed in shallow light. She was panting, pale. Blood soaked her shirt and spilled over the hand she had pressed against the wound, knife gone.

“What did you do?” Dante rasped out.

Krista grinned. She was actually terrified. “Oh? Your wound not healing? That knife had poison on it. Poison that can only hurt people like you.”

“Let me tear her to pieces,” one of the demons behind her growled, so close that Krista felt the vibrations rock through her.

“No!” Dante shouted. Her eyes began to glow. They were no longer gentle and searching. They were fire and ice, formed to daggers that so badly wished to stab but wouldn’t. “Do not hurt her. Let’s take her with us. Draw the Lucifer-born out.”

“Can’t I just hurt her a little?” a second demon asked.

“No,” Dante answered. She was firm enough that the demons refrained from asking again. “Grab her and let’s go. I need to find out what she did to me and reverse it.”

Krista sucked in a breath to yell that there was no cure—it wouldn’t kill her, only reduce her to a mess wracked by pain until her body got rid of the poison on its own, but hands clamped down on her and a scream fell from her lips instead.

“Shut up!” one demon roared. A hand lifted to slap her, but Dante shot the demon a glare and the hand froze, dropped. Krista continued to struggle.

“Let me go!” She kicked and thrashed, battling the hands on her, the intents to take her away. But her struggling wouldn’t be needed. They wouldn’t take her away.

“Let her go,” a voice spoke firmly from the shadows. All demons looked towards the voice, startled to see red eyes peering at them from the dark. They hadn’t even sensed her—Krista knew who it was without having to see her face or even recognizing her voice. It was like a certain part of her could simply sense Ymir and felt instantly comforted and frightened by her.

Dante cursed softly, clearly regretting how she had gone about this. She looked pained, but eventually shrugged. “Take care of her,” she told her demons. “But don’t kill the Lucifer-born. Leave the human.”

The demons dropped Krista so quickly that it was almost comical. They were all half changed, still mostly human, but with glowing eyes and skin too dark, teeth and claws sharp as knives, tails out and whipping around. Krista landed on her back, the wind knocked right out of her, but she looked up in time to see it. How she managed to follow them with her eyes was a mystery, but once she looked, she couldn’t look away. Dante was quick to limp away, visible only when she flashed by underneath pale light from the ceiling.

Ymir’s face slid out of the darkness and into the shallow light, long enough for Krista to see it. Her eyes were fierce and angry, and her lips were pulled back in a snarl. The three demons dove for her, but Ymir dropped low, moving so quickly that they barely had time to react. One demon had grabbed for her and missed, and Ymir shot up with her fist, punching the demon underneath the jaw. The demon shot up and slammed into the ceiling. When the demon dropped, she was unconscious. The second demon attempted to kick Ymir in the stomach, but Ymir had anticipated, and her movements were fluid as she tensed her body, allowed the kick to land—only grunting softly in response—and then she grabbed the leg, dodged the third demon’s punch aimed at her face, and tossed the second demon to the left, so far that Krista had no idea where she landed. The third demon turned in shock to watch the second demon soar away and missed Ymir’s next move. She moved so fast that she disappeared for a split second and then re-appeared behind the demon. When she realized that Ymir was behind her, Ymir had already snapped her neck. She crumbled to the floor, unmoving.

Ymir released a single, hot breath, straightened and then cracked her knuckles. The angry look on her face remained, deepened when she looked up at Dante hurrying away. She had taken all three demons out in five seconds. Krista was still blinking, trying to process what she had just seen.

After exhaling, Ymir closed her eyes, clenched her fists and then breathed out evenly and shot forward. Fierce wind whipped behind her as Ymir flapped large, leathery wings and then collided right into Dante, sending them both to the floor. Dante landed on her back, with Ymir above her. She lifted her hand, fingers all pointed forward like a knife, and thrust downwards.

“Don’t,” Dante uttered.

Ymir paused just before her sharp nails pierced Dante’s throat. “Why not?”

Krista stumbled to her feet, inched closer to hear.

“You know why.”

“You won’t leave me alone.”

“I need you.”

“You lost your chance to work with me when you stole me from my family. Give me one valid reason why I shouldn’t rip your throat out right now.”

Krista’s throat was so dry that it ached. She stepped even closer, hesitant, scared. She didn’t know this Ymir. The freckled demon hadn’t even looked at her yet. When she pictured their reunion she always imagined Ymir’s eyes widening, imagined her freezing, unable to think.

“Kill me and our fight is over,” Dante spoke. She sounded clearer already, and Krista wondered if perhaps she had used too little poison on the knife. Had the wound healed already? When she had stepped close enough, she noted that Dante’s colour had returned. The poison was definitely almost out of her system.

Ymir released a throaty chuckle. “Do you really think I care? You fucked us over, Dante. You outed us to the world. We can’t live comfortably in the shadows anymore.”

Dante slammed her fist down into the floor, breaking both concrete and bone. “We are **not** insects that need to hide underneath the table! We are people too!” Her face went red with rage.

“The humans just aren’t ready,” Ymir uttered. She sounded bored. “The idiots think they’re at the top of the food chain. They won’t just accept us. They’ll eventually want to be us. Did you ever think about that?”

Dante’s face darkened even further. “I am prepared to erase humanity if I must. You are leaving me with no option. If you won’t work with me…”

Krista somehow knew it would happen. Her muscles tensed before Dante had even thrown Ymir off of her. She flinched even before Dante grabbed her roughly and vaulted into the air, flying them right out from the parking lot and into the dark sky. She opened her mouth and took a breath before she even began to scream. The arms around her were too tight, the body against her too hot. Dante was furious, that much she knew. Furious and not thinking properly. Krista felt pure terror fill her body.

Dante was going to kill her.

They soared higher in the sky, so high that Krista felt the air change, freezing over, becoming denser. She struggled to breathe, and so did Dante, but that didn’t stop her. She was carried by her deep desire to see her people free. Even if that meant butchering billions, she was prepared. Krista wasn’t even a drop in the ocean. If Dante had just decided that releasing a fully unsealed Lucifer-born on the world was her only option, then killing Krista wouldn’t even matter. At the moment, Krista knew, she had stopped being a person and had become a tool, a catalyst. But she wouldn’t let Dante do it. She wouldn’t let this demon—with good intentions but misguided methods—use Ymir to destroy the world. And it wasn’t for Ymir. Krista thought of Nanaba, of Reiner and all their others friends and family members. She thought of all the other people that had lovers and friends and pets and children. Her heart ached.

“I won’t let you,” Krista choked out. They were still ascending, powerfully and painfully. “Don’t do this.”

Dante ignored her. Krista knew that she had heard her, but the demon ignored her.

“Please.”

“I’m sorry,” Dante said, though it did not sound genuine at all. She finally stopped flying upwards, but continued to flap her winds to keep them suspended, to stop them from falling. “When your world has been purged and mine live in the light, I will honour your name for your sacrifice,” Dante told her. The usual fire in her eyes was gone. She looked defeated, full of sorrow and regret, but stone cold determination. She was going to do this.

“Please, Dante,” Krista pleaded. The arms around her began to slacken. The air was so thick and cold, and Krista hated the way the wind beat against her small body. “Don’t.”

Dante nodded. “I don’t want to,” she said. Her grip loosened even more. Krista desperately clutched at her shirt, desperately not wanting Dante to let her go. Freezing tears began to pour over her skin.

“Please!” Krista shouted, so terrified that she was close to vomiting.

“I’m sorry, Krista. Go in peace.” She let go.

Krista held on for a fragile second, but the wind sucked her down, and her hands slipped from the fabric of Dante’s shirt. Her scream remained lodged in her throat as she began the plunge downwards. Air stung her skin, ripped at her lungs. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t watch as she fell and fell, feeling the earth draw closer to her. Her stomach dropped so hard that Krista wondered if perhaps it hadn’t been sucked right out of her body. She hated the sensation of falling. She had never thought it would feel like this—so frightening, so deafening.

Finally Krista began to scream.

Ymir heard the sound and finally spotted Krista as she fell through the sky. She immediately flapped her wings as hard as she could and shot towards Krista, reaching out, yelling.

“Krista!”

Krista didn’t hear her. The blonde was screaming. The sound was painful to hear. But Ymir pushed her body harder. Krista was falling _so_ fast. She couldn’t reach her. Ymir began to panic. She was the damn _Lucifer-born_. She had to do it.

“Krista! Take my hand!” Ymir was just above her, in a nose dive with her arm stretched out to reach for the blonde. Krista finally heard her and her screaming stopped. She saw Ymir’s hand, reached out for it.

Their fingertips touched.

A huge gust of wind slammed into them both, sending Ymir backwards and Krista in the opposite direction. Ymir managed to right herself and dove again, arm straining hard to reach out to the falling blonde. She worked her wings harder than she ever had, muscles burning, ears rushing with wind and blood.

“Krista!” Ymir shouted in desperation.

“Ymir!”

The sound of her voice, so small and frightened, spurred Ymir on to close the distance with speed she hadn’t even imagined being able to make.

Their fingertips brushed again.

This time Ymir latched on. She pulled Krista to her chest, flapped her wings incredibly hard, and managed to stop their fall so close to the ground that her wings slapped against the concrete. Ymir felt the impact and flinched, but ignored the pain and flew them away.

Krista trembled badly, even though it was Ymir that now clutched at her. They were still in the air, and Krista was just about to yell for Ymir to stop and put her down when they did just that. Ymir didn’t land gracefully. Her feet hit the soil and then they crashed to the ground, Ymir taking the full impact with her wings wrapped around Krista for protection. When they stopped moving, Ymir’s wings uncurled and then they fell to either side of her, spread out on the grass. Ymir was panting. Krista realized that she was curled up on Ymir’s chest. With a jolt she toppled over, scooted away and then wrapped her arms around her legs and simply focused on breathing as evenly as she could. Ymir didn’t speak to her and Krista didn’t want to look at her—not yet. She only moved when her phone began to ring and she realized that it could be Nanaba or Reiner.

“H-hello?”

“Krista!” Nanaba almost yelled. “Jesus Christ. Where are you? Reiner said he saw a bunch of people attacking you.” She paused. “He said they didn’t look human.”

Krista inhaled shakily and slowly lowered herself onto her back. She stared up at the dark sky and attempted to clear her head, but couldn’t. She could still feel the wind rushing by her ears and it made her heart stutter in fear.

“Remember that demon on TV?”

“Yeah?”

“She tried to kidnap me to get Ymir.”

“Oh my god. Where are you? Are you okay? Krista, please say you’re okay.” She sounded hysterical. Krista imagined how her blue eyes were shimmering with unshed tears and her heart jerked. She wondered why she just couldn’t be in love with Nanaba, let that be the end of it. Nanaba was so sweet. Even though they weren’t an item, Nanaba treated her with so much love and respect. Krista’s heart began to hurt.

“I’m fine, Nana. Really. Ymir—” Krista’s throat suddenly closed up, like the name had caused a reaction. Her heart suddenly burnt, and she realized with shock that Ymir was actually there, in person, so very close to her. She couldn’t hear Ymir’s breathing anymore. The demon was absolutely silent. Krista wondered if she was even still there, but was still too unprepared to look at her after what had just happened. “Ymir showed up and saved me.”

The silence from Nanaba was almost too loud, until eventually the blonde released a breath. It was shaky but clearly relieved. “Thank god that… that you’re okay, Krista. Will she bring you home? Must I come to pick you up?”

Krista swallowed hard. “Pick me up,” she uttered very softly. Her throat clogged up again and tears spilled over her cheeks. Her next word came out in a sob. “Please.”

“Where are you? I’m coming right now.”

Krista looked around and recognized her surroundings. She relayed that to Nanaba and then reluctantly ended the call. It was silent after that, save for the light breeze that rustled the leaves in the tree above them.

“So Nanaba, huh?” Ymir eventually spoke up.

Krista’s muscles stiffened. That voice… it felt like warm honey, dripping over her, giving her a sense of sweetness but burning her at the same time. She hated how her body immediately began to buzz at the sound of that voice—god, she had missed it. And with that, Krista finally turned her head to look properly at Ymir for the first time in over two years.

“That’s none of your business,” she responded, surprising them both with the level of venom in her voice. By the way hurt flashed across Ymir’s face, her expression wasn’t any better. The hurt quickly washed away to understanding, and Ymir smiled a sad smile as she nodded and sat up. A few strands of grass clung to her short brown hair, and it distracted Krista for a moment, but she didn’t say anything about them.

“You surprised me, you know,” Ymir commented. She stared down at her hands as she spoke. “When you stabbed Dante. That was hard-core. I never would have expected that from you. But then again, people change over time.”

“You’ve changed,” Krista added darkly. “Look at you.” And as she said it, she did so. Ymir looked so… _Ymir,_ but so unlike Ymir as well. It was almost surreal. She had always had this darkness around her, threatening to consume her whole. It was gone. Ymir’s shoulders looked unburdened. And most shocking of all, was that her marks weren’t hidden, and in fact, seemed to have grown.

“These?” Ymir asked, indicating towards the marks on her neck. “Tattoos,” she clarified. “I got them on top of the marks. Kinda extended them.”

They looked like branches now, with various images at the ends of them. Krista couldn’t see anything in detail and she didn’t want to know about them just yet. She forced her eyes away from Ymir’s marked skin and looked into her eyes. She had never seen them so bright before. They were almost… kind. Of course, Ymir was still in there. That dark and dangerous shadow still lurked in the depths of her golden eyes, but it seemed tamed now. It was like Ymir had embraced and become it. Krista was almost taken aback, and almost ashamed for her harsh attitude.

“You got tattoos on your marks? The same marks you hated so much?”

Ymir flashed a lazy smile. She chuckled softly, innocently amused, and finally climbed onto her feet. She towered over Krista as she brushed the dirt from her clothes, so Krista hurried to stand too—she’d grown in height over the past few years. Though, Krista realized, so had Ymir. The brunette was even _taller_ now than she had been two years ago, and Krista’s small growth spurt didn’t compare at all. Krista was suddenly frightened by how tall and menacing Ymir appeared, but the brunette took a healthy step away, hands slipping into her pockets.

“Krista,” she said softly, pleadingly. “I’ve changed. A lot.”

“I can see that,” Krista agreed, though softly. Her anger had drained away, but it still simmered on the surface.

“Not just with this.” Ymir gestured to her body. “I mean in here, and here,” she pressed a finger to her chest, above her heart, and then to her temple. “I’m not the idiot you knew back then.”

“So you’re not the jerk that left me when you needed me most, when you promised you’d never go?”

Ymir shrugged. “Hey, what I did back then saved us both. Everything you know about me… it’s… none of it is true. I have so much I want to explain to you, but only if you want me to.”

“And if I don’t?”

Ymir straightened and regarded Krista very seriously. “Say the words and I’m gone forever. Give me a chance first, though. Get to know me again. Forgive me for all the fucked up things I did and for how stupid I was.” She paused, released a sigh. “And learn to stop fearing me.”

Krista felt her heart warm, felt her soul reach out, nodding enthusiastically and grabbing greedily for Ymir. But then car lights spilled over them both, made Ymir’s eyes flash deeply with red, and Krista fell right back into the bad memories, of the sickness and the pain and the murder. She stumbled back, a hand pressed to her chest. A car door closing broke her out of her fearful state, and she turned sharply to see Nanaba’s tall form heading her way. She turned back to Ymir.

“I… I can’t… Ymir, I…”

“It’s okay,” Ymir said softly, one hand lifted as if to calm her, as if to say ‘I wish you no harm’. She smiled so very softly. It was such a foreign smile on Ymir. She looked calm and collected, and it was something Krista had never associated with Ymir before.

“Take your time,” Ymir suggested. “I won’t wait forever, but I’ll wait if you need it. You know where to contact me. I have so much to tell you, Krista. So much has happened. Good and bad. Give me a chance to at least make up for my fuck ups from two years ago.”

Krista would have been lying if she said that she wasn’t insanely curious about what had happened to Ymir. The car had remained in that hotel parking lot until it was towed away. No one had known where Ymir had gone. But here she was, looking so changed, so _alive._ She looked truly happy now. It was the way her smile made Krista’s heart burn and the way her eyes drew the blonde in that made Krista nod once, very faintly. Ymir’s smile brightened upon seeing it.

“A chance, then?”

Krista nodded again, a little more forcefully now.

“Thank you, Krista,” Ymir said genuinely. Her face washed with warmth, but then she smirked in the most familiar way, and it was almost scary how much relief and longing washed through Krista upon seeing it. _Thank god, some of the Ymir I knew is still there,_ she thought.

“You won’t regret this,” Ymir said. She winked. “I’ll make you fall in love with me again, Krista. But this time I’ll treat you the way you deserve. This time I’ll make the effort.”

Nanaba was waiting at a respectful distance, her eyes glued to Ymir’s form. Ymir had ignored her for the most part, but eventually she looked up, and Krista saw longing there as Ymir looked at her foster sister.

“I have to go now,” Ymir said gently, but loudly enough for Nanaba to hear. “I have a family of my own now, too.” She sounded so proud saying that. It was so different, so alien. And then she turned, her wings extended—as bruised and beaten as they were—and carried her into the air.

Krista felt Nanaba’s trembling hand slip into her own and clutched onto it desperately. They both watched Ymir until she was a shadow among the darkness. And all the while Krista was thinking, _I’m still in love with you Ymir. I never stopped, not even now._

“Let’s go home,” Nanaba uttered softly.

Krista gently inhaled. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: Please give this a read before you close the tab and continue your internet adventures. I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone still following this story, even though I kinda dropped it for a while, and didn't update often at all, almost barely. I've lost my edge, sadly. That writing bug that had been stuck to my ass died. She will be missed. I'm struggling a lot to write now. On top of my job (with so much drama holy shit you won't believe. I mean, theft and deceit and employees leaving and everything), and my general family issues, writing hasn't really been a priority. I feel really crappy about that, because I love this story and I hate to see its readers wait forever in suspense, or to the point that they forget what the story is even about. So I apologize, but at the same time I beg you to understand. I just need time and support. I still want to write that big mecha YumiKuri AU, called 'True Origin', AND Bad Dog III, AND that Clexa Bad Dog AU, AND a cool modern-medieval Mikaani story AND, okay, you get the idea. I've got a lot on the list. I want to say that I'll update more often, but I probably won't. I'll definitely try though. So thank you for reading the story, this chapter, and if you made it this far, this really long author's note. I love each and every one of you. Without you guys I'd be posting for nothing. Lots of love from me <3 Until next chapter!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No playlist for chapter XIII
> 
> Before you even read this chapter I feel like I should make a very explicit and pointed statement, as well as a warning. I ship both YumiNa and NaKuri very hard. So hard in fact that I had to restrain myself with this chapter. That means that yes, there is elements of both NaKuri and YumiNa in this chapter. It’s there for a reason. If you hate it then you hate it. Neither ship will be endgame. YumiKuri is IT. This is 100% a YumiKuri story. It started YumiKuri and will end YumiKuri. So if you do hate NaKuri and YumiNa, then I plead with you to just bare through it. This chapter is the most extreme I will go with NaKuri/YumiNa. From the next chapter I will focus completely on YumiKuri. I just had to take the time to clear the air with some feelings that needed to be put in their place. Nanaba is such a nice tool for that. So again, I’m not sorry for this chapter but I do ask that you take it lightly and just endure it if you must. Don’t even skip it, because the NaKuri here is important development for Krista, and it will add a lot more to the later parts of the story. Nanaba and Krista have helped each other heal. There is no way Krista will ever just jump right into Ymir’s arms after everything that has happened. Yes, this is fiction, but also yes this is a dark fic and I like to make them suffer. Mwhuauha. Not really. Things shouldn’t get too rough after this. The angst should be over. Enjoy the chapter if you’ve read this far, and for those that skipped this, I wish them luck. Thanks for reading! (Um, also sorry for taking forever with updates. Work is important to me and I spend all my time on that and playing PS4. My priorities are so in the right place, lol.)

**Chapter XIII**

* * *

 

“I can’t do it anymore,” Krista whimpered softly.

“Do what, Krista?” Nanaba asked. She held the blonde in her arms, stroked her back with one hand. They were in Krista’s bedroom, with the curtains closed, the lights off and the door locked. Securing the room made Krista feel better.

“Love her,” Krista admitted, as if the confession was her defeat. “I never stopped loving Ymir. Even after she killed all those people. I knew that it wasn’t her fault. Those idiots they… they pushed her to lose control. But whenever I see her face I remember what it had looked like filled with bloodlust, covered in blood. That night… she… she was covered in it, Nanaba.”

“In blood?”

“So much blood. I get nightmares of her. Of Ymir turning into a giant monster and crushing me in her fist, of eating me. She had a vision of it, you know. Of eating me. She went crazy that night, too. At the time I was so in love that I just… I thought… ‘ _does it matter if she eats me? At least I’ll have been there for her’_. But now I’m so scared. I think of everything and my chest feels so heavy with fear.” Krista sniffled loudly and then lifted herself to press her nose against Nanaba’s throat, to feel her pulse. It soothed the small blonde. “I’m scared of getting close to her again, because then I’m a target. You saw what happened tonight. If Ymir wasn’t there I would have died.”

Nanaba’s arms suddenly tightened around her, silencing Krista’s next paragraph of frightened complaints. The small blonde felt her heart nearly collapse. “But you’re okay,” Nanaba spoke softly. “Ymir was there and she saved your life. If it wasn’t for her, Krista, then like you said, you’d be…”

“Dead,” Krista finished.

The both of them fell absolutely silent. Krista could feel Nanaba’s despair just by the way her chest rose and fell hard, like she was struggling to breathe. And in that moment she remembered the time they had been captured and tortured, she remembered what Nanaba had gone through for her. Half the time Krista was the one to be tortured for information, but Nanaba convinced that wretched blonde demon that the best way to get Krista to talk was to torture her instead. Had pretended that she was upset with Krista for not giving the information up. A wave of gratitude washed over Krista, and she was so glad to still be there with Nanaba. She released her grip on Nanaba’s shirt and then lifted a hand to gently touch her jaw, caressing Nanaba’s cheek. Krista felt the wetness of tears.

“Are you crying?”

Nanaba sighed softly and covered Krista’s hand with her own. “I just think about what might have happened if Ymir hadn’t been there, and I…”

“It’s okay,” Krista soothed. She sat up and scooted closer so that they were chest to chest, and wrapped her arms around the tall blonde’s neck. “I’m okay, Nanaba. I’m alive.”

Nanaba dipped her head and pressed her forehead to Krista’s, just to feel that physical connection. “I know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Krista furrowed her brows and luckily it was too dark for Nanaba to see. Her chest tightened painfully, and as Nanaba’s arms wrapped around her waist, a sudden desire filled her. “I can’t be in love with Ymir anymore,” Krista admitted softly. “I don’t think she’s good for me.”

Nanaba stiffened, though her arms stayed where they were. “What are you saying?”

Krista shifted again, this time to sit over Nanaba’s lap. She cupped the tall blonde’s jaw and lifted her face to meet her eyes in the darkness. She could barely see, but there was enough light to just make out the shape of Nanaba’s face, her eyes, her lips… Without questioning herself Krista moved forward and pressed her lips to Nanaba’s. She was surprised when Nanaba responded immediately, but it was soft and slow, so frightened and gentle. Just one press of their lips lasted forever, and then their lips were moving together, slowly. After a while Krista paused the kiss, inhaled shakily and caressed the side of Nanaba’s jaw with her thumb. “Let me fall in love with you instead, Nanaba,” Krista uttered. She hated the way her voice quivered with tears. “Please. Save me from loving her.”

Nanaba chuckled. “As if it’s that easy?” she asked. “You know I love her too.”

“Please,” Krista pleaded again. “You can’t say that there’s absolutely no chance.”

Nanaba fell silent. Their lips hovered close, and Krista felt an inner voice scream for her to flee the room. Her heart beat rapidly against her ribcage and her skin flushed with heat. She didn’t know what she was doing, what this would accomplish, but she ignored rational thought. She let her fear and desperation push her over the edge, to cross a line she had told herself she would never cross. And she was absolutely ready to take that dive. It was just up to Nanaba now if they did, if Krista let it happen. She’d thought about it plenty of times before. But never had she considered it so strongly, not like now.

“Krista,” Nanaba started. “I love you, you know that, right?”

Krista felt a smile pull her lips. “Yeah, of course I do.”

“I won’t lie and say that I wouldn’t love to just… just forget everything else and be with you. That would be ideal for both of us, yeah? Forget Ymir exists and just be happy together.” She suddenly pulled Krista against her, sighed as her hands ran up the small blonde’s sides until she could gently cup her flaming cheeks. “But that’s just a dream,” she said. “We can’t simply pretend that what we feel for Ymir isn’t real. Krista, you love her. You love her so much that it burns you.”

Krista swallowed and quivered, and she suddenly hated Nanaba for not taking her pleas and claiming her body. For not silencing her fears with heated kisses and passionate touches. But Nanaba was right.

“We can ignore everything tonight and sleep together,” Nanaba uttered hotly, “but it’ll haunt us tomorrow. Ymir will haunt us tomorrow like she haunted us yesterday, haunts us today. You want her beside you, Krista, not me. It’s unfair to me to ask something like that. It’s unfair to you for me to take advantage, too. I am attracted to you. What you’re asking for is tempting. But my heart isn’t in it. I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry.”

Krista released a shuddering sob and then collapsed against Nanaba’s chest. “I’m so sorry Nanaba,” she choked out. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Nanaba’s arms encircled her and made Krista feel safe. “It’s okay,” the tall blonde whispered. Krista felt Nanaba press a kiss to her temple and wondered why she was being so terrible to her housemate. How could she have thought that having sex with Nanaba would solve all their problems? Guilt and shame washed over her. Ymir’s calm face entered her mind and the shame doubled.

_Ymir isn’t at fault. She can’t control what she is. She never meant to hurt those people. Why am I acting like she did everything intentionally?_

They didn’t speak again, and eventually the physical proximity became uncomfortable. Nanaba wouldn’t leave the room, and Krista needed her close, but they slept at each end of the bed. Nanaba wondered if maybe she should have given in, and Krista wished that she had never given the option.

Before falling asleep, both shared a thought for Ymir.

XxX

Nanaba rubbed a hand over her face and sighed in exhaustion. She had just returned home from work, and Krista was fast asleep in her bed. The small blonde tended to sleep in Nanaba’s bed when the tall blonde wasn’t around and she needed comfort. Nanaba really didn’t mind. It just meant that she would occupy the couch—she couldn’t join Krista or sleep in the other blonde’s bed, not after what had nearly happened between them a few days ago. Things had become slightly awkward between them after that, and Nanaba felt like they desperately needed to have a good talk about what had happened, instead of avoiding each other the way they were.

It was already 8 PM.

A short shower and then a quick meal later Nanaba was changed into her sleep clothes and settling on the couch. She had nabbed one of her pillows and then the extra blanket they kept in the hallway cupboard. It was actually pretty comfortable, at least, so Nanaba had no problems as she wiggled into place and then pulled the covers up to her chin. But tonight would not let her rest. Just as she closed her eyes and relaxed, there was a soft knock on the door. At first Nanaba thought that she was hearing things, but then it began to bother her, so she shoved the blanket aside and padded over to the door. Nanaba opened the door, and then she froze.

“Hi Nanaba,” Ymir greeted softly, almost like a frightened puppy. “Did I wake you? I heard your breathing and you didn’t sound asleep, but I see…” her brown eyes flicked over Nanaba’s clothed body, at the socks, silk boxers and the plain old t-shirt. “Did I interrupt?”

For a moment Nanaba couldn’t speak, and she simply stared at Ymir as if the demon was an alien. Well, she might as well have been. Nanaba hadn’t been this close when she had seen Ymir just over a week ago, when she had saved Krista. Now Ymir was right there, not more than a few steps away, slouched over, hands in her pockets. She wore a simple black tank top, revealing the tanned expanse of her arms, the slopes of her shoulders and the valley just underneath her neck. Nanaba couldn’t help but trace the lines along Ymir’s skin with her gaze. She had seen the markings before. Krista had even described them to her once. But they looked different now, and Nanaba wondered for a strange minute if they were actually just tattoos. Ymir obviously felt her gaze, since she pressed a hand over a twirling mark on her neck, where Nanaba was staring, and sighed.

“Should I come back later?”

Nanaba swallowed and finally found her voice. “Uh, well, Krista is asleep—”

“I didn’t come to see Krista,” Ymir quickly interjected. She shrugged lightly when Nanaba stared at her in confusion. “I came to see you,” she clarified. “Krista being asleep is actually best. She’s not ready to see me yet.”

Nanaba nodded once, faintly. “To see me? What for?”

“Can I come inside?”

Nanaba moved aside quickly and allowed the tall demon to enter. Once she had, she shut the door and then leaned over to flip the light switch, bathing the lounge in pale, orange light.

“So you _were_ on your way to sleep,” Ymir commented with a grin, pointing a thumb at the couch. “Have a lover’s quarrel? Banished to the couch?” she asked. She still grinned, but Nanaba sensed a heavy, hidden question there. It surprised her, how calm Ymir was in that moment. She knew what Ymir was asking, probably why she had come at all. The old Ymir would have been aggressive and violent, not so calm and collected. It was almost as if Ymir had already decided on the answer and was only waiting for confirmation.

“Krista is just sleeping in my bed,” Nanaba answered. “I won’t sleep in hers, so the couch is my bed for a while.”

“Sleeping in your bed? Why would she do that?”

_Why do you care?_ Nanaba wanted to growl, but she found herself answering honestly instead. “Things are weird between us right now, and we usually sleep in the same bed when we have episodes of nightmares or something. After what happened when we were kidnapped, Krista wakes up screaming and—” Nanaba froze when a warm hand clamped down on her shoulder. She looked up and found Ymir’s eyes boring into her.

“Kidnapped?” Ymir hissed out slowly. “What are you talking about?

Nanaba’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, you don’t know about that. You had just disappeared, so you wouldn’t have found out.” She inhaled through her nose and then pointed to the couch. “Let’s sit down.”

Ymir nodded. Either she had forgotten about her earlier question, Nanaba thought, or she was putting it aside for the moment. Nanaba hoped that Ymir wouldn’t take the news too badly.

“After I brought Krista back, she became very depressed. She cried every night, and she even attacked a fellow student. Eventually she started going back to school, but then she stopped by our house. I think she needed to see your empty room to convince herself that you were really gone. She broke down and told me everything—about how the two of you met, how she discovered that you’re a demon. About the time when you left Malia together.” Nanaba paused to take a breath. Her hands were shaking. She didn’t like bringing this up. She and Krista liked to pretend that they were over all of this, and for the most part they were, but there had always been a nagging tear in their hearts, one that always tore open when they brought up the past. It had everything to do with Ymir.

“What happened?” Ymir asked quietly. She listened intently, didn’t interrupt or erupt in anger. She wasn’t quacking in rage or muttering in anxiety. She merely sat there, eyes trained calmly on Nanaba. It was almost eerie. The only way Nanaba could tell that Ymir was upset, was the fact that her eyes were rapidly changing colour. It seemed like a natural thing, though, but it was still so unsettling, to see those glowing eyes staring right at her.

“Um, she slept over that night in your bed, to feel close to you. Late in the night a few demons broke in, but Krista made a fuss and woke me up. I tried to fight them off, but who was I kidding? They knocked me out without even trying. Krista and I woke up in this room, chained up. We didn’t know what time it was, where we were or anything. A woman named Aleksandr came in then, and she kept us there for a month, torturing us for information, asking _where is the Lucifer-born?_ ” Nanaba clenched her hands together, looked down at the scars scattered over her skin, at the marks still etched into her wrists where the chains had eventually bitten in and left their shadows behind.

“You and Krista were captured and tortured for a month?” Ymir asked.

Nanaba nodded. “Well I was mainly tortured. I provoked them when I could, made them think that hurting me would get Krista to spill. It kept Krista from having her nails pulled off, her ribs kicked in, her arm broken, her face cut up.” Nanaba laughed bitterly and rubbed a hand over her face, like she had earlier, but this time in anxiety. The blonde sighed and turned to regard Ymir, but paused at the look she was given. “What?”

Ymir scooted closer and lifted a hand to touch a spot just below Nanaba’s left eye. “This mark,” she said. “All of them are from that time?”

Nanaba was surprised that Ymir could still see them. They had healed enough over the two years that one had to really try hard to see them now. But then again, Ymir had insane eyes, so it shouldn’t have been that surprising.

“I’m fine now,” Nanaba assured her. “That month is the main reason Krista and I are so close. It’s why we decided to move in together. I mean, we slept over by each other so much that I think both our parents were relieved. We needed each other after that. I mean, just the sound of opening doors would send us into fits of panic. I’ve gotten over that, though I still get nightmares. Krista was really doing well, too. But after you came back she…” Nanaba paused and bit her lip. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean…”

“It’s okay,” Ymir assured. She sighed and sat back on the couch. “Seeing my face probably brought a lot of ugly things back for her.” She lifted a freckled hand and flexed it, watched as the tendons stretched and moved. “I killed people back then. I was really sick, too.”

“How are you now?” Nanaba asked gently. Hesitantly she placed a hand on Ymir’s leg, heart pounding. She felt a fresh blush cover her face and hated it.

Ymir chuckled and surprised her by placing a warm hand over her own. “I’ve never been better, Nanaba.”

In all her time knowing Ymir, that was the first time the brunette had ever touched her. Sure, Nanaba had touched Ymir once or twice out of necessity, when the brunette had been sick. But this was… it was intimate. It made Nanaba’s stomach flip, her heart beat erratically against her ribcage.

“Calm down,” Ymir playfully jibed. She grinned broadly and then sat up, scooted closer until they were shoulder to shoulder, hips touching. “Your heartbeat is so loud that I can barely hear myself think.”

Nanaba blushed even brighter and swallowed the dryness from her mouth. “I’m sorry, Ymir… I…”

“Hey,” Ymir playfully bumped their shoulder. “You can’t help it, I’m amazing.” She laughed then, loudly.

Nanaba found herself relaxing at the sound of Ymir’s laugh. It was the first time she had ever heard it. Ymir had never been this relaxed and carefree. “You really have changed, you know,” Nanaba told her. “You’re… beautiful.”

Ymir shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Oh you definitely have it bad for me.”

Nanaba quickly pulled her had away and looked to the side. “You know?”

“I didn’t back then. I do now.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“I had this weird dream once,” Ymir began, ignoring Nanaba’s comment, “that you were writing stuff on my floor with my blood and horns. You were saying something about loving me, asking why I wouldn’t love you.” She chuckled and then reached out and took Nanaba’s hand back, intertwined their fingers and held on tight. “It was when I was going through a sealing,” she paused, laughed, “—my powers were sealed away, in case you’re confused. Anyway, so I had some really messed up dreams. I think I subconsciously knew how you felt about me back then, and it bothered me. After I was sealed away and Dante left us alone…” Ymir slapped a hand against her forehead and laughed. “Jesus, there’s so much to explain. This probably makes no sense to you.”

Nanaba shook her head. “No I’m following. Go on. You can explain.”

Ymir smiled and obeyed. “I had time to really think things over. My mom and dad trained me, taught me how to use my abilities and how to supress them.”

Nanaba puzzled over that, but decided to let Ymir explain it later. “And you…?” she started to ask, almost afraid to. “You aren’t bothered by my feelings for you?”

Ymir shook her head. “A little confused, really, but not bothered.”

“Confused?”

“I was…” Ymir suddenly looked sad. “I was horrible back then, you know. I remember that one time I hit you when you touched me. I never did apologize for that, did I? You only ever tried to help me and I treated you like dirt. Yet you loved me. And even now, after I abandoned everyone and disappeared, you love me still.”

Nanaba snorted and lifted a hand to wipe at her tears. “I don’t understand it either. You’re and idiot but apparently you’re an easy to love idiot.”

“I’m sorry that I can’t return your feelings.”

Nanaba sighed. “It’s okay, really. You have Krista.”

“Do I?”

There it was. Nanaba had been waiting for the topic to rear back to that. Ymir was desperate to know, she must have been. “I love Krista, Ymir,” Nanaba told her. She felt Ymir’s hand twitch in her own, but she gave it a gentle squeeze. “Not romantically. I will be honest and say that you coming back did sorta make us question our relationship. I mean, we’ve kissed twice now, and it was nice but…”

Ymir nearly choked. “You’ve kissed?” she asked, eyes wide.

Nanaba swallowed. “Yeah… it didn’t mean anything, I swear! I don’t feel that way for her… we just… we wish, you know?”

Ymir exhaled slowly. “I get it,” she said. “Is she good?”

Nanaba paused. “Good at what?”

“Kissing.”

“Well… I mean, definitely, but…”

“I can’t remember, sorry. We didn’t kiss that often back then. I had this huge issue with personal space, even with Krista sometimes. So she hasn’t been with anyone since I left?”

“No, not at all. The closest I’d say was me, but even then nothing happened.”

“Did you want something to happen?”

Nanaba froze. She met Ymir’s curious gaze, wondering why there was no anger or possessiveness there. The demon seemed like she just really wanted to know. She almost seemed amused by it. “Krista is amazing,” Nanaba breathed. “So yeah, maybe sometimes I had wished we both could have just been together.”

“But it just never felt right?”

“Yeah. When we kissed it was… it was really nice, but there was so much emptiness there. It tasted so bitter.”

“And now?”

Nanaba furrowed her brows, confused. The mood around Ymir had shifted. Her hand slowly slipped out from around Nanaba’s, and the demon turned around on the couch to fully face her. “’Now’ what?” Nanaba asked.

“Do you want something to happen now?”

Like a school girl infatuated, the breath left Nanaba’s lungs. Her mind jumped to a logical conclusion while her heart ignored it and jumped around in excitement. When her breath returned, she could barely keep hold of it. “What do you mean?”

Ymir sighed and tilted her head. For a moment her eyes unfocused, she listened to something that Nanaba couldn’t hear, and then a small smile played at her lips. “I need to go,” she said. “You look tired and my parents are probably in a panic looking for me. I’ll call you tomorrow and explain everything, if you want.”

Nanaba felt disappointment rush through her. She didn’t understand what Ymir had meant or why she had asked that strange question. Ymir stood up from the couch and Nanaba did the same, but then Ymir stepped in closer, wrapped an arm around her waist and in a move that nearly stopped Nanaba’s heart all together, Ymir leaned down and captured her lips. Nanaba froze for a good few seconds, eyes wide open, staring into the depths of Ymir’s own red eyes, and then the brunette closed them and Nanaba followed, and she inhaled through her nose, moved her lips slowly. Ymir made a strange grating noise in her chest, almost like a growl but not quite. It was definitely not human, but it strangely reminded Nanaba of a purring cat. She couldn’t believe that Ymir was kissing her. It was intoxicating. Ymir was as warm and firm as Nanaba had imagined, yet there was so much in the kiss that her imagination had never been able to conjure. Like how Ymir used her teeth. She liked to bite. Like how Ymir couldn’t keep still, and she lifted her hands, ran them down Nanaba’s arms. And then she was gone, and Nanaba stood there like an idiot, lips puckered in the air. When her eyes opened, Ymir was smirking at her.

“There,” Ymir said. “Now you’ve kissed us both.” She turned her head and stared into the darkness down the hallway, sighed lightly and then laughed. “I’ll be going then.”

Nanaba watched as Ymir let herself out. Even when Ymir sent her a wink and a wave, she didn’t respond and simply stared. It was only when she heard the sound of soft footsteps entering the room and Krista left the cover of the shadows that she unfroze and finally breathed. “K-Krista?”

Krista didn’t respond and stepped forward until she stood right in front of Nanaba, her head bowed. She sniffled, and then lifted her face. It was red and her eyes were puffy. “Ymir is such a jerk,” the small blonde muttered. Nanaba’s heart was pounding in panic, but it calmed in relief that Krista wasn’t upset with her.

“Wh-why do you say that?”

Krista suddenly laughed, and it was loud and sad and angry all in one. “Really?” she asked. She gave Nanaba a punch in the arm. “She’s pissed that we’ve kissed, so she kissed you to make it even.”

Nanaba went bright red. “H-how do you know that?”

Krista rolled her eyes. “Because she’s Ymir.” She crossed her arms over her chest, then dropped down on the couch and sighed. “And she also looked right at me before she kissed you.”

Nanaba sat down as well, and she narrowed her eyes when she realized it too. “When did you get out of bed?”

“When I heard laughing.”

“Oh my god, she knew you were there the whole time.”

“She could probably hear my breathing or something.”

Nanaba laughed and pressed her face into her hands. “So she only kissed me to make a point? And here I was feeling hopeful.”

Despite the situation and the slight hurt Krista felt, she laughed and collapsed against Nanaba’s side. “Maybe. Or she did it ‘cause she really wanted to.”

“Krista, this is getting really weird.”

“I know,” Krista shot back with a grin. She pushed Nanaba by the shoulder until the tall blonde got the hint and climbed underneath the blanket. Krista climbed in after her, and then they lay pressed together on the couch. “I’m strangely okay that she kissed you.”

“That’s only because you kissed me.”

“You kissed me first, remember?”

“Let’s just agree to stop kissing each other, yeah?”

Krista giggled and nodded, but then the situation seemed to really dawn on her and she ended up sniffing back tears.

“Krista, are you crying?” Nanaba asked in concern. She pressed a palm to Krista’s cold cheek and felt the tears there. “Oh Krista.”

“I’m sorry. I just…”

“It’s okay. Don’t explain. Just cry it out and go to sleep.”

“I’m sorry for making things weird between us.”

“I’m sorry too,” Nanaba sighed. “I’m sorry that everything seems to suck for us.”

“I need you Nanaba, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Shh.” Nanaba gently rubbed Krista’s back to soothe her, and then she pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Just relax and go to sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

Krista nodded and obeyed, and before long she was fast asleep. Nanaba watched her for a while, remembered the kiss vividly in her head and covered her face with a hand. It was almost too good to be real, and when she woke the next day it would feel like a dream.

But it wasn’t.

XxX

“Where the hell were you?” Amir asked loudly as soon as Ymir stepped into the house. The young demon paused by the doorway and considered her response. When she had decided on an appropriate one, she stepped into the room, closed the door and then grinned.

“Kissing cute girls,” Ymir answered.

Amir faltered. “For real?”

Ymir winked. “It’s a funny story, actually.”

“You can tell funny stories later, Ymir,” Damian spoke up from where she sat in the lounge. “We have a big problem.”

Ymir furrowed her brows and headed over to her mother. She caught sight of the TV and sighed in irritation. “Seriously?” she exclaimed. “Is there _nothing_ that stays out of the damn media? How the hell did someone even manage to record that?” She dropped down on the couch and then rolled her eyes.

“Every monkey with two brain cells has a phone these days. It’s easy to just take it out and snap a video. At least the quality is so bad that there’s nothing more than moving shadows and voices.”

Ymir quietly watched the news footage. A woman was speaking rapidly, her eyes shining with excitement. If Ymir really focused, she could see the pounding of her pulse just underneath her skin. But she didn’t feel like straining her eyes, and sighed deeply just as the video made a dramatic turn when Krista was snatched by Dante and taken into the air. The recorder muttered a ‘holy shit this isn’t real’, and then ran quickly in the same direction. There was the loud noise of wind blowing against the phone, but nothing stood out in the sky. After a few minutes the recorder seemed to give up, but then the sound of terrified screaming alerted him that the scene wasn’t over, but he couldn’t locate where the sound was coming from. The video was shaky as he ran down the road, and then there was a load sound to his right and he whipped around, but whatever was there only looked like a shadow with wings, and the wings quickly carried it away.

“Ouch,” Amir said. “You really did hurt your wings. How are they feeling?”

Ymir shifted on the couch and winced. “Thanks for reminding me, dad.”

“Hey it’s what I’m here for,” Amir drawled, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, babe tell her.”

“Tell me what?” Ymir turned to her mother, waiting.

“Because of this incident, the humans are scared. Some of them are saying that if demons— if we even exist — are fighting amongst ourselves, then how we can be trusted not to fight them. There are already extremist groups forming in the more religious areas. They think Satan has finally made his move.” She eye-rolled hard. “So you’ve been summoned, Ymir.”

“Summoned?” Ymir asked, puzzled.

“To the demon leadership.”

“We have a leadership?”

“They’re sorta like a council,” Amir interrupted. “But they were only ever formed because of the Lucifer-bloodline. So they usually stay in the shadows and ignore demon society. But this thing Dante has done, it involves even them, and they’ve stepped out of their comfort zone. They want a meeting with you, soon.”

Ymir felt like her entire life was just going to be one huge dramatic fan fiction. She could never just sit down and relax for a few moments. She was either wondering if the girl she was in love with still wanted to be with her or if she would be used as a tool in yet another evil plan. Things were really looking up, she thought with a sigh.

“I don’t want to be involved in all of this,” Ymir whined. “I decided that a year ago, remember? I don’t care what happens with this political mess.”

“Ymir,” Damian said. She reached out and placed a hand on Ymir’s shoulder. “We can’t say no to them. They need to be assured that you aren’t a threat.”

“I’m not,” Ymir deadpanned. “I’m sealed away, remember?”

“We know that. They know that. But they’re scared. They’re known for doing horrible, rash things when they’re scared of the unknown. So let’s just go to the meeting, show them that you’re just a moody young demon, and then we can go on with our lives.”

Ymir slouched down on the couch and pouted. “I really don’t want to.”

“But you will,” Amir finished for her, smiling. “We’ll be right there with you, Ymir.”

XxX

“You may step inside alone. Everyone else stays outside,” a demon at the large double doors muttered, a hand lifted to stop Amir and Damian from stepping any further.

Damian nodded and took Amir’s hand to stop her from arguing. She gave Ymir an encouraging look, smiled as well and then nodded in understanding at the demon guard and tugged Amir with her. “Come on, you big baby. Let’s wait in the reception area.”

Ymir watched them go, and then she sighed and turned fully toward the doors. Just a moment ago she had been sitting on the couch, complaining. Now she was in a strange building in a country across the world, unsure of what the hell she was walking into. The flight there hadn’t taken that long, since these leader demons seemed to have a lot of money. They were probably owners of huge corporate businesses, too. At least the demons had people in high places, for when this whole political mess exploded in everyone’s faces. Ymir briefly wondered if maybe the president was a demon too. And then she wondered how many presidents possibly where—the female ones, of course. But then again, she was sure some of her kind could easily pass as men.

The doors opened mysteriously, splitting open into a large rounded room. There was a stage against the wall, where five figures sat calmly in the dark. The only thing Ymir could see of them was their glowing red eyes, and in response to that her eyes changed as well. She stepped inside of the room and then walked calmly over to the centre, where a chair sat alone in a shaft of dim light.

“Greetings, Lucifer-born,” one of them stated. “I am the High demon. We have summoned you here today to test your loyalties.”

“I’m loyal to no one but myself,” Ymir snarled. “If you think I’m running to Dante and her suicide plan, then you’re all a bunch of idiots.”

Four of them burst into angered chatter, offended by Ymir’s tone and her insolence. The fifth, the High demon, remained absolutely still and eventually silenced the others. “She cannot have respect for a group that have no ties to her,” the High demon told them in warning. “None of our demons have respect for us. We know this. Calm yourself and remain neutral.”

They muttered softly, but obeyed and quieted. Their gazes became sharper, though, and Ymir spared not a care for it.

“You have met with Dante, yes?” the High demon enquired.

“Not by my own choice.”

“Are you aware of the circumstances surrounding your conception and birth?”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “My birth yeah, not so much my conception. What do you know about it?”

The High demon’s red eyes disappeared for a moment, and then reappeared burning brighter. “You were never supposed to be born,” she said sharply, almost angrily. “We begged your parents not to conceive. We did not want the Lucifer-bloodline to continue. It is too dangerous, too strong. But they did not heed our words, and they had you instead.”

“And what, that’s somehow my fault?”

“What she means to say,” another demon hissed, “is that to us, you shouldn’t even exist. And to us, you would be easy to dispose of.”

“You are sealed,” a third demon spoke. “At the level of a normal demon.”

“We would not hesitate if you become a problem,” a fourth demon agreed.

“Enough,” the High demon growled. The others quieted. “We did not invite you here to threaten you, Lucifer-born.”

Ymir snorted and rolled her eyes. “Sure doesn’t sound like it.”

“We merely want reassurance. We fear that the humans will soon capture one of us and study our bodies. They will come to understand how we function and how we perish, and then the scale of the war will be tipped, with us on the losing side.”

“So, what? Is there nothing you can do? Is all this power just on display for intimidation?”

Ymir’s voice bounced angrily off of the walls. The demons all fell silent, like what they had next to say was too heavy for them. But the High demon took a breath, and Ymir felt her chest tighten in the strangest way.

“There is no turning back for us,” she said, almost solemnly. “We have enjoyed our secrecy for years. We have been leaders and innovators, directing humanity where we wanted it to go. We can’t do that anymore, because now the humans know about us. They’ve had suspicions from the beginning. What we need to do now is establish ourselves as an intelligent species, one that is capable of peace as much as war. We need to dazzle them and frighten them at the same time. I fear that Dante has set in motion a wheel we cannot stop.”

“So, what? What do you want me to do?”

The High demon paused, inhaled again. “Assassinate Dante.”

Ymir stopped breathing. “Kill Dante?”

The High demon stood, walked to the side and descended to the floor. When she stepped into the light, Ymir shot to her feet. The woman looked frightening. Her horns looked withered with age, as if she had never hidden them in her skin. Yet her skin was flawless, her eyes bright and alert. She was shorter than Ymir, but the power rolling off of her came in waves. No doubt if Ymir picked a physical fight now, she would die in an instant. Lucifer-born or not, this demon was old and wise, and she had enough control over her own abilities not to fear the Lucifer-born. It was not raw, new power. It was power carefully crafted and formed over years and years.

“Yes,” she breathed, and she reached out with a hand, waiting. “Prove to us where you stand, and take Dante’s life.”

Ymir stared down at the demon’s hand, at the smooth planes of her palm. She felt her pulse hammer in her chest, and she suddenly felt sick. _Take a life?_ But she knew how this would go. Knew that what she decided next would seal her fate. So she firmly took the demon’s hand and gave it a firm squeeze. The High demon did not flinch.

“Very well,” she said. Her eyes were unblinking. “We wish you the best of luck with your mission. Do not report to us until it is done.” She dropped Ymir’s hand like it burnt her, and then disappeared into the shadows again. The eyes all bore into Ymir, judging, knowing.

Ymir stepped backwards to the door. It opened for her, and she was quick to turn and leave. And as she stepped through the building, she couldn’t help the anger that suddenly seeped through her.

Ymir had just agreed to take another life. And part of her was excited for it.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking finally, am I right? For anyone wondering where I’ve disappeared to, well, stuff happened. My gran passed away recently. I’ve been promoted at work. I also had a holiday in Cape Town. So things have been hectic. Plus, you know, writer’s block. But here is the new chapter, and I feel pretty inspired to continue with the next. I hope this was worth the wait. Thank you for reading and for being so patient!  
> There is no playlist for chapter XIV

**XIV**

* * *

 

Nanaba had waited for Ymir’s call. It never came. While part of her worried, Nanaba also felt angry at Ymir for breaking a promise. She had promised to call the next day and explain, but a week later she was still gone. Had disappeared, just like two years ago.

The news kept going on about the stupid video that was captured by a civilian, the incident that had nearly killed Krista. Nanaba hated it, because it was driving Krista crazy. Every which way she turned, someone would be whispering, a newspaper had a tantalizing heading and the news, oh boy, did they enjoy the story. Nanaba watched them just to be careful, but she regretted it each time. They had all kinds of people on there—the religious, other witnesses, people claiming to be demons. None of them actually looked like demons, since most were male. Nanaba knew that no male demon existed. Humans didn’t, apparently.

“And today we welcome Hanji, a famous researcher that has published multiple books on the theory that demons live among us,” the woman on the news program said. Just as a grinning woman appeared on camera, Krista sat down next to Nanaba and sighed.

“Can you please put that off?” she asked softly.

Nanaba immediately changed the channel. She could hear the weariness in Krista’s voice, and knew that she probably wasn’t sleeping much. “How are you feeling?”

“I think I’m getting a cold or something,” Krista answered.

“You should try to get more rest. Eat more.”

Krista rubbed aggressively at her cheeks, and then she shrugged and sighed. “I know, I just can’t.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

In the adverts on the new channel, they were showcasing the news scheduled for that night. On it a man was animatedly talking about demons, with various images displayed behind him. Krista watched, and Nanaba didn’t like the way her eyes seemed to dim.

“No,” Krista said. “Not really.”

Nanaba simply put the TV off and then wondered, not for the first time, when Ymir would visit them again. If not for her, then simply for Krista. She wanted Krista to be happy again, and Nanaba had a feeling that Ymir could give that to her.

XxX

_“What would you say is the most beautiful thing in the world?” Krista asked._

_Ymir lifted herself and leaned on her elbows to stare over at Krista. A wind blew by, bellowing Krista’s blonde hair. She felt the air on her bare legs, too, and was glad that she had decided to dress down. The weather was fantastic for shorts and a t-shirt. Sunlight bathed over her, and the blanket underneath her was soft. Having Krista there with her made everything much better._

_“Well,” Ymir started, a playful grin at her lips. “There’s one thing that comes to mind.” She grinned as Krista looked over at her, first confused, and then flushed as she realized what Ymir meant. “And I didn’t even have to think hard.”_

_Krista’s smile was breath-taking, and Ymir’s lungs definitely forgot how to function when Krista crawled over to her. Krista’s hair fell over her shoulder, some still tucked behind her ear. She crawled all the way over to Ymir and then on top of her, forcing Ymir to shift and rest on her back._

_“You’re sweet, you know that?” Krista said, smiling._

_Ymir’s heart warmed. After all of the anger and hurt, the blood and pain, to have this moment made everything worth it. Nothing else mattered for her, in that moment. Just Krista. Only what Krista made her feel. Ymir watched the way Krista’s pink mouth smiled for her, the way her ocean blue eyes sparkled. Knowing that those eyes shouted love for her made Ymir’s belly fill with butterflies. She tingled pleasantly and an indescribable amount of happiness filled her. Krista was this moment. War and anxiety was so far at the back of her mind._

_Ymir reached out and pulled Krista closer to her. She shuddered where their skin met. “Only because you bring that out in me,” Ymir told her._

_“Bullshit,” Krista argued with a laugh. “Ymir, you are sweet. That’s just who you are, even if you pretend that you’re a monster.”_

_Ymir flipped them over gently, made sure to cradle Krista until her back was pressed comfortably to the blanket, and then she hovered over her. Ymir smiled softly, lifted a hand to caress Krista’s pink cheek. “How can I be a monster,” she started, “if I love someone as beautiful as you?”_

_Krista’s eyes widened, and then filled with tears. She sniffed and then laughed, reached up and wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck. “I’m so glad that you’re back,” Krista cried out. “Thank you for coming back.”_

_Ymir lowered herself gently and then curled around Krista as much as she could, inhaling her scent, enjoying her warmth. She nestled her face against Krista’s neck and then sighed wistfully. “I’m glad to be back,” she answered. When she lifted her face again Krista kissed her._

_It was a kiss filled with more warmth and love than Ymir had ever experienced before. And it felt like home._

Ymir woke up and remembered her dream. She felt her heart beating, and placed a firm hand over it, asking it to please calm down. When it had, she crawled out of bed and then headed for a shower.

“Ymir,” Damian uttered softly when Ymir entered the kitchen after her shower. “How are you feeling?”

Ymir sighed as she dropped down into a seat. “About what?”

“Pick a number,” Damian shot back playfully. When Ymir snorted in response, Damian grinned and went over to her. “You look just like that idiot father of yours when you do that,” she said.

“Yeah, but I sound like you.”

Damian bristled. “I do not make ungraceful sounds like that.”

Ymir laughed outright. “Mom, you make sounds even worse.”

“Do not.”

“Do I really need to make a list?”

Damian chortled and then conceded. She took the seat beside Ymir, grew silent and contemplative. “Ymir, you still haven’t spoken to us.”

“It’s fine,” Ymir shot back. Her abruptness startled them both. “Okay, no I’m not. But don’t worry about it. The council just… asked me to do something for them.”

“What do they want?”

Ymir shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Where’s dad, anyway?”

Damian took on a sudden comical expression, as if she was trying her hardest not to suddenly burst out laughing. Or maybe she was constipated.

“You need to shit?” Ymir asked her, brows connected. “Your face looks weird.”

Damian seemed to recover, and then she waved a hand and shook her head. “No, nothing. I was just ordering breakfast. Are you hungry?”

“Seriously, when are you ever going to actually cook?”

Damian shuddered. “No one should eat anything I ever attempt to make.”

“Why?”

She shuddered again. “Let’s just say that Amir doesn’t just cook because she enjoys it.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “Dear god, how did the two of you ever survive on your own?”

Damian straightened in her seat. Her eyes suddenly glossed over, and her face lost every bit of harshness to it. Ymir recognized the expression immediately, and she had to clamp a hand over her aching chest. This was the expression her mother held when thinking of Amir. It was an expression of complete and utter love.

“We figured it out,” she said. “From the moment we met, we just figured things out together.”

Ymir slumped in the chair. Despite the ache in her chest, she enjoyed seeing her mother like this. It gave her hope. If not that, then it at least eased her pain in a subtle way. Them being so happy, so in love, helped her forget that she might have lost the only person that would ever love her. Ymir bit into her lip and thought of Krista. The memory of her dream crashed down on her, and Ymir had to shut her eyes.

_“I’m so glad that you’re back,” Krista cried out. “Thank you for coming back.”_

If only it was real.

XxX

Krista tried to focus on her job, she really did. But it was so difficult. All she could think about was Ymir. Would Ymir visit her again? Why had Ymir disappeared again? Was she okay? Safe? It was driving Krista crazy. And she really needed to concentrate, because she only realized too late that she had just dumped an armful of books where they didn’t belong. Her co-worker lifted a brow at her, and Krista laughed it off as she picked them back up.

Seriously, where was Ymir? Did she even want to know? And what if Ymir came back?

“Krista, you okay?”

Krista whirled around, startled at the voice, and then flushed. It was her co-worker again. “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry.”

“You sure?”

“Definitely.”

“Good. Now give those books to me and help that customer. She’s been standing awkwardly by the sex books all hour.”

Krista reluctantly let the books go, and then looked towards their erotica section. Sure enough, a tall individual—a fairly muscular one at that—stood in the aisle, completely engrossed in the shelves of dirty literature. But her shoulders were far too stiff, which told Krista one thing—this person was a first time porn reader. Or at least she was shy about buying it so publically. But Krista had often packed that category herself, and she no longer felt ashamed or embarrassed by the lewd sex stories or the various books on positions and the like. It was actually amusing, to watch people fumble and pretend that they weren’t simply horny for erotica.

Sucking in a breath, Krista made her way over to the person, already putting herself into a sickeningly sweet mood. She stretched her smile wide, made sure to inject as much friendliness into her face as she could, and then she paused by the person’s side and grinned—genuinely this time—when the stranger nearly jumped out of her skin at Krista’s voice.

“See anything you like?” Krista asked, voice as sweet as honey. Part of her was in the mood to tease, but the other part tried to be gentle. “Need help?”

The woman didn’t turn towards Krista, but away, and this struck Krista as really odd. Was she seriously that embarrassed?

“Don’t feel bad,” Krista hurried. “Half the time I pack this section, so really, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” the woman said. She was still looking away, but she spoke almost too calmly. But it wasn’t the calmness that made Krista’s heart drop right into the pit of her stomach, and then beat too rapidly. It was the timbre of the woman’s voice, the way that it resonated deeply with Krista. She recognized it. She would recognize it anywhere. And it was then Krista recognized the woman’s build, too, and her skin tone and freckles. It… it couldn’t be. Krista nearly started to hyperventilate. “Really, I’m not.”

Slowly, almost deliberately, the woman turned her face. Krista watched as each feature presented itself to her, and then she choked on air, uttered, “Ymir?”

“Ymir?” the woman said, tilting her head. She squinted her eyes—eyes that while a different colour, still looked so much like Ymir’s. This woman looked so, so much like her. Krista wondered if perhaps this wasn’t just Ymir, pretending to be someone else to spy on her. But the look this stranger was giving her was genuinely concerned. “Hey, you okay?”

“S-sorry,” Krista choked out. “You just… look a lot like someone I know.”

“That someone named Ymir?” Krista nodded. “Never heard of them. Sorry. Anyway…”

Krista was shaking—no, quivering. This wasn’t seriously happening?

“U-um…”

“You sure you’re okay?”

Krista stared up at this person, at the face so similar to Ymir, and realized with stark clarity that she felt relieved—almost happy. She had missed Ymir, and even just seeing someone that looked a startling amount like her, made her feel like a part of her had returned.

“Yes!” she exclaimed. She pushed down her emotions, and then set to work, asking what the woman wanted and why. The entire time she felt those eyes on her. It would have made Krista extremely frightened or nervous, because memories of Ymir often did that, but this time she felt something entirely different.

Determination. Hope. Longing.

After this, Krista decided, she would seek Ymir out. And once and for all, she would clear the air between them and see where they stood.

XxX

“Where were you and why do you look so smug?” Ymir enquired as Amir stepped lightly through the front door. Amir immediately straightened, like a child caught doing something they shouldn’t. Ymir had a sneaky suspicion that her parent was just that.

“I just went to a bookstore,” she answered quickly. Amir pointedly avoided Ymir’s eyes for as long as she could, but broke quickly and flashed a big, goofy grin. She lifted a plastic bag in her hand, one that contained a book. Ymir didn’t even need to squint to see the book, and the very pornographic cover of two naked women in the throes of passion.

“Um, why?” Ymir asked, squinting.

Amir laughed loudly, and the sound must have alerted Damian that she had returned home, because she appeared from out of nowhere, curious. Damian wrapped her arms around Amir’s neck and then lifted a brow in Ymir’s direction.

“What is going on here?”

“Babe,” Amir began, flushing. “I will explain it later. For now, I need to hide this.”

“Dad, what did you do? Sex book aside, you look way too guilty.”

“Sex book?” Damian inserted, interested. “Amir, you went out to buy a sex book?” she frowned deeply. “I didn’t think that we—”

“Oh sweet Jesus,” Ymir exclaimed, on her way to block her ears. Luckily Amir stopped Damian quickly by pecking her on the lips.

“Can we please not discuss that now? All I did was go out to see a certain someone… that is special to someone we love… who also just so happens to work at a bookstore… and I just happened to have accidentally hidden in the erotica section…”

Ymir went pale. “Dad, you didn’t?”

Amir grinned. “Ymir, she’s so… so _small._ ”

Damian immediately caught on and rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’m staying out of this. Just please don’t break any furniture.” She kissed Amir on the jaw and then disappeared into the lounge.

“ _Dad_ ,” Ymir hissed through clenched teeth. “You had no right!”

“Ymir, I didn’t mention anything to her. Honestly. I just pretended that I needed a really smokin’ sex book. She was so cool about it, too. Tried to make me comfortable. That was really sweet. And wow, her eyes are so blue but so haunted. Ymir, she is tiny. Did you realize how tiny she is though? You are huge. Please don’t hurt her. She is so small.”

Ymir groaned and shut her eyes tightly. _Count to ten. Calm down. One… Two…_ She only opened her eyes when she had finished her countdown. “Why did you go to her? You do realize that your entire face is a huge fucking exclamation mark, right? She probably thought you were me.”

Amir deflated. “Oh yeah, true. She did say your name. I never really considered that. I just… I saw her, you know? And I really want to meet her.”

“I don’t want to scare her away, Dad. You know how careful I’ve been.”

Amir huffed now, crossing her arms over her chest. “Ymir, your stalking her is not being cautious.”

“Well obviously it’s creepy as hell, but I don’t know if Dante will go after her again. And since she won’t hang around me, I have to watch her from a distance.”

“True,” Amir acquired. “In any case, Ymir, she’s so _small._ ” Amir covered her face with a hand. “I just can’t. You need to make up with her. Right this second.”

Ymir sighed. “I was on my way to do just that, actually.”

Amir brightened. “Yay!”

Ymir rolled her eyes and then continued towards the front door, finally able to make her escape as she had previously planned. “I’ll be back whenever. You know how to find me.”

“Be safe and use protection!” Amir shouted after her, chuckling.

“Don’t be gross Dad!”

XxX

Krista stood in the shower underneath the running water, chin down and shoulders sagged. Her work day was over, but her mind was still busy. She usually enjoyed her showers, especially after a long day, but she couldn’t bring herself to focus. Memories washed over her, pouring and dripping into her pours, screaming and begging for her to release them, accept them. She clenched her teeth, her fists, and whimpered softly.

_“Ymir, I have to go now. Will you be okay until I get there?”_

_“Yeah. Don’t speed.”_

_“I’m more skilled at speeding than you are at this point. Just relax. I’ll be there in five minutes.”_

_“Liar.”_

She found herself shivering, though the water was hot.

_“I didn’t expect you to do that,” Krista commented once they were seated. She accepted the M &Ms from Ymir and opened the packet. “Want some?”_

_Ymir nodded and opened her palm for Krista to pour a few onto it. Once she had Ymir started to pop them individually into her mouth._

_“I don’t know why I did,” she said._

_Krista considered her words carefully before she tried to introduce a new idea. “Ymir, did you… was it because she thought the marks looked cool?”_

_Ymir shrugged. “She’s one of the weird ones then.”_

_“Then that makes me one too.”_

At what point exactly had Krista fallen in love? What had it been about Ymir that had pulled her in so? Was it that she had been in so much pain? So vulnerable? She was ashamed to admit that part of her always enjoyed how dependant Ymir was on her. And it made her sick. She had latched onto someone full of so many demons and had laid claim, acting like she knew all. She must have hurt Ymir so much.

_“Okay,” Krista said, seriously considering it, “I think that maybe if you were furious at me and your eyes changed, I’d be scared a little.”_

_“A little?” Ymir’s eyes narrowed and darkened. She suddenly shot forward, pushing Krista against the car door, and then she growled so loudly that Krista’s eyes slammed shut and she covered her ears. When she opened her eyes, Ymir’s teeth were bared inches from her face, bloody and sharp and she looked so angry that Krista felt a shiver of terror rocket up her spine._

_Ymir’s head cocked to the side, and then the anger faded away to sadness and she gently pulled Krista up with her. “You were absolutely terrified,” she concluded._

_Krista’s heart was pounding in her ears. Her body tingled from the adrenalin that had yet to fade away. She sucked in a few large breaths and then she turned to Ymir with a disapproving frown._

_“Of course I would get the fright of my life if you do that!”_

_Ymir shook her head in exasperation and rubbed at her sore eyes. “Stop acting like I’m not dangerous and like you aren’t scared of me.”_

“Stop acting like I’m not dangerous and like you aren’t scared of me,” Krista said. Those words had always stayed with her, taunting her. She believed them now.

A tentative knock sounded at the door. “Krista, you okay? You’ve been in there for over an hour now.”

Krista stepped out of the water immediately, eyes darting to the closed bathroom door. “Yes, I’m fine!” she called out. “Just brooding. I’ll be out now.”

“I’m not trying to hurry you,” Nanaba informed her. “I was just a little worried.”

“Sure thing you big teddy bear.”

“Dinner is in the microwave.”

Krista stepped out the shower, smiling. “Thanks.” Footsteps told her that Nanaba had walked away, and it allowed her to sink into her thoughts again as she dressed. Keeping her memories of Ymir away had been tough at first, but became just another daily chore. Now she actively tried to hold onto them, analyse them. More than just painful memories sat in her heart. There were many times when Ymir had made her laugh, made her chest ache because she just loved her so much. Times when Ymir had done something funny or cute. Those memories kept her grounded even as the bad ones tried to pry their way in. Oh they were there, but Krista blocked them out for now.

She dressed in record time and sat in the lounge with a plate on her lap. Nanaba was at the dining room table, going over papers and muttering to herself every now and then. Hearing her made Krista feel more relaxed.

After eating Krista grabbed her laptop and logged into Facebook. There were a few notifications from her mother, Nanaba and Reiner. Her mother had tagged her in a few shared images, mostly those cliché sayings that always made their rounds on Facebook. Nanaba had shared a hilarious cat video and Reiner had commented, resulting in a short comment war. Krista giggled as she read through it, and then she typed away in response. Reiner responded almost immediately, but Nanaba wouldn’t since she was busy. They spoke for a bit in the comments, bantering and teasing, and then moved to a private conversation. Reiner went on about a new guy at his work. Apparently he was super tall but also super shy and Reiner found it adorable. Krista was entirely amused when Reiner asked her if he looked bisexual. She simply told him to be whatever he wanted to be—bisexual, not bisexual, a pretty ballerina.

The conversation tampered out and Krista was left lazily scrolling through Facebook. A good twenty minutes went by before she stumbled upon one of Ymir’s posts, done the day before. Apparently she had been out of the country. There was a picture of her in a plane, looking super bored. But there was something else in her eyes that Krista noticed, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

_Is that why she just disappeared? She left the country? Why?_

“Hey Nanaba, did you know that Ymir left the country?”

Nanaba sputtered. “What?”

“Yeah. There’s a picture of her here. She says she had to emergency flee the country for a super-secret meeting. It sounds really sarcastic.”

“Demon stuff, maybe? Is she coming back?”

“Yeah, she posted again that she’s back.”

“Oh wow.” Nanaba padded over and plopped down next to Krista to see the picture. “So that’s why.”

“I thought she just left again…” Krista admitted. Her throat suddenly went dry, and her heart ached in her chest. She hadn’t meant to let the confession slip, but Nanaba did that to her. And it became even worse when Nanaba leaned in and wrapped an arm around her.

“You still can’t trust her?” Nanaba asked softly, carefully.

“I… I’m not sure.” The memories from the shower returned to her, of Ymir smiling, of Ymir making her laugh. Her chest began to hurt even more. “I think, no matter what, I’ll always love her. It just won’t go away. These feelings are ruining me.”

Nanaba remained very silent for a while, and then she suddenly grabbed the laptop and set it down on the table, and then she turned Krista so that they were facing each other. “What do you have to lose?” she asked.

Krista blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Ymir still hasn’t explained anything to you, has she? I’m sure she has a really good reason for why she left. Message her. Tell her you want to speak and then hear her out. Krista, you still love her so much and I think if you let this chance slip by, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. If you feel that she hasn’t changed or you can’t accept her reasons, then you can leave. You can tell her it’s really over and be done with it. But what do you lose in just giving it that small chance? Think about it.”

Krista did. She really did. Nanaba left her to think it over, and Krista stared at the floor as she did. Every word Nanaba had said stabbed right into her heart. Her stomach twisted with nerves, but a voice in her head began to yell.

Yes, Nanaba was right.

What would she lose?

A sudden jolt ran through Krista, and she stood from the couch. “Nanaba, I have to go!” she yelled, hurrying to find some pants and her jacket. She heard Nanaba laugh in response, but ignored her to dress. And then she was rushing to the door, blood pounding in her ears, hands and knees shaking. She didn’t know where she was rushing to. She didn’t even know where Ymir was, or how to find her. She was only vaguely aware of her phone in her jacket pocket. And then she pulled the door open, panting, and stopped dead in her tracks. All the wind rushed out of her, and the pounding of her heart stilled for a very small second.

Standing there, fist in the air, eyes wide in surprise, was—

“Ymir?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter so soon :D I might be back, guys! I hope that you enjoy this ^^ it was long overdue. Thank you so much for reading, and don’t forget to leave a comment.
> 
> There is no playlist for chapter XV

**XV**

* * *

 

Ymir immediately took a full step backwards. “I’m sorry,” she hurried.

Krista swallowed. _What is she doing here?_ she thought. “Um.” What did she say? _Oh, hi! Long-time no see! I was actually on my way to see you. What a crazy coincidence, huh?_

They stared at each other, neither knowing what to say. Krista’s heart was pounding, but it was more out of nervousness than fear. She hadn’t even thought to be scared like usual. Just seeing Ymir in front of her was enough to send her heart racing.

“Here,” Ymir suddenly blurted. She lifted her arm slowly and held it out, cheeks slightly red. She had an intense look of concentration on her face as well.

Krista looked down at a bunch of flowers. She blinked. “For me?” she asked.

Ymir huffed. “I saw them on my way and just…”

“Ymir, it’s late,” Krista said suspiciously, eyeing the flowers and then Ymir’s flustered face. “The stores all closed an hour ago.”

Ymir shifted on her feet, her arm wavering. Krista had the sense to quickly step forward and take them, because Ymir looked ready to toss them over her shoulder and then run. “Okay, so maybe I nicked them.”

Krista’s brows lifted. “Did you take them from someone’s garden?”

Ymir shoved her hands into her pockets. “Maybe.”

_How are we doing this? Talking so easily?_ Krista looked at the flowers again and she realized that they were her favourite kind—roses. They were beautiful, too. None wilted and all rich with colour. Krista’s heart almost melted, and then the whole situation dawned on her and she began to laugh. Ymir looked at her with a hint of confusion, irritation and mild embarrassment.

“What’s funny?” she grumbled.

Krista clutched at her stomach and bent over to catch her breath. “Oh boy,” she huffed. “It’s just. Here I was, rushing out to find you because I’ve just convinced myself to give you a chance.” She straightened to regard Ymir with a smile. “Even though I still have all these issues to work through. And then you show up, casually stealing flowers for me.” She wiped at her eyes, sighing. “It’s just funny.”

“You want to give me a chance?” Ymir asked.

“Are you only stuck on that?”

“Well, I came over here to ask you out. But like, a friend date,” she hurried. She looked so… unsure. It was amusing. Krista realized with amusement that Ymir was nervous and unsure, and with that, she had all the power. She could send Ymir away, she could make Ymir sputter or she… she could say yes, and she could make Ymir happy.

“I’d like that,” she said. “Nana said that you have a good reason for why you left. And Ymir, I’ve never stopped thinking about you.” Ymir straightened and visibly swallowed. Krista wondered if her heart was thundering too. Ymir could probably hear hers, but with Krista’s inferior human hearing, she couldn’t hear Ymir’s. She’d give anything then to just hear the sound of Ymir’s rushing pulse. “Take me out somewhere and explain. I want to know everything. You aren’t allowed to spare a single detail, do you understand me?”

Something flashed over Ymir’s eyes, and then she was smirking, leaning down slightly so that they were a little more level. She chuckled. “Look at you, the cute little human giving me, the big scary demon, commands.”

“Damn right I am.”

“I think I like it,” she said, straightening again. She was still a fair distance away, and Krista was glad for that. Ymir was still so tall and Krista wasn’t okay with that yet. Well, she was never okay with tall people in general, but it would take time to be comfortable around Ymir again.

“I’ll message you with where to take me and when to pick me up, okay?”

Ymir lifted a brow. “Okay, I respect that.”

Krista nodded, pleased. She and Ymir looked at each other for a while, but she found herself averting her gaze and squirming. It was growing awkward. “So, um, I’ll see you around?”

Ymir grinned. “Okay, Krista.” Her smile dropped quickly, and she hesitantly stepped forward with her arm outstretched. Krista stared at it. “Thank you for this,” she whispered. The sincerity in her words was heavy, and Krista felt her throat almost close up. All light heartedness from before melted away, and they were reminded of everything from beginning to end. Krista found herself unable to speak, but she gently took Ymir’s larger hand in her own and gave it a shake.

“It’s nice to meet you again,” Ymir breathed.

Krista swallowed again, her tongue thick. Ymir could hear her heart. She could probably even hear how she trembled. But Krista swallowed it all down, and she managed to give Ymir’s hand a healthy squeeze and then smile up at her. “Nice to meet you again too, Ymir.” she said. “Let’s get along this time, yeah?”

Ymir’s smile was hopeful. “Yeah, I’d like that too.”

XxX

“ _There’s a nice new restaurant down at the Waterfront, which is like ten minutes from my house. Fetch me at three tomorrow afternoon. I get off work early. Dress comfortably. We can decide what to do afterwards together. I look forward to seeing you.”_

Krista had said casual, but she couldn’t resist dressing up just a little. She wore her fanciest earrings, the beautiful necklace Nanaba had gifted her for Christmas, tight black jean, a long sleeved dark blue shirt and her most badass pair of boots. It was a little chilly out, so she decided to use the expensive leather jacket that she hardly wore. She admired herself in the mirror, smiling.

“Wow,” Nanaba said from the doorway. “Someone is dressed to kill.”

“Well I want to look strong, too.”

“But you do anyway.”

“I need her to fear me, Nanaba,” Krista said, turning. Her blue eyes pinned Nanaba down, and Krista was pleased when Nanaba swallowed. She grinned. “See? Dressing like this helps. I mean, I’m not doing this _just_ for her. Of course not.”

Nanaba laughed and rolled her yes. “Okay, sure thing.” She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “She should be here soon. Where are you guys going?”

“I thought we could try out that new place that opened. It’s really open-plan, so I don’t think I’d feel claustrophobic or anything. Plus it’s close, if I need to call you or run.”

Nanaba frowned. “You really don’t trust her, do you? She wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Nanaba, we don’t know that. Look, I’m still really into her.” Krista closed her eyes, sighing. _So, so into her, God._ “So I need to be cautious. Who says she didn’t change for the worse? By the end of the night I’ll know if I can let her back in.”

“I suppose you’re right. I’m proud of you for being so responsible.”

There was a knock at the door.

“She’s here,” Krista said hurriedly. She turned to look at the mirror again, panicking. “Oh god, how do I look? Are you sure this is okay? Isn’t it too much? What if she doesn’t like it?”

A hand landed on Krista’s shoulder and she relaxed. “You look amazing. You are amazing. Ymir will fall for you all over again.”

Krista inhaled deeply. There was another bout of knocking. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. I’m just so nervous.”

“I understand, but…” she playfully shoved Krista out of the bathroom, shooing her. “Go and get her. Don’t let your nerves keep you down.”

Krista glared at her, but it had no effect. Nanaba simply smiled at her and then she slinked away to her bedroom. When another round of knocking started, a little hurried and harder this time, Krista went over to the door and pulled it open.

“Hi,” she greeted shyly.

Ymir took a quick step and eyed her outfit. She frowned at first, but then she broke out into a slow, sly smirk. “Wow,” she said. If her cheeks weren’t slightly red then Krista would have bailed out and slammed the door in embarrassment. Seeing Ymir blush gave her courage, so she lifted her head high and stared as coolly as she could.

“Wow yourself,” she said. Ymir looked _good._ It was getting cold, but she wore nothing other than black jeans, what looked like brand new sneakers, a white tank top with a thin grey silk jacket over it, which only had sleeves up to her elbows. Krista had to avert her eyes or else she would have stared too long.

“So, are we good to go?”

Krista cleared her throat and stepped out. She nodded, not trusting her voice not to waver. Ymir, from the beginning, had always had such a powerful presence. It was even worse now, more powerful. Ymir didn’t just look put together, she _felt_ put together. It had Krista shivering, though Ymir must have mistook that for the cold, thank god.

“I hope this isn’t too soon,” Krista started as they began the walk. It was close, and Krista had stated that she preferred to walk there and back. Truthfully, the thought of being in a car alone with Ymir was frightening. Ymir had been happy to accommodate however she could.

“I would have been okay if you’d asked for last night, so it’s cool,” Ymir answered, smiling as sincerely as she could.

Krista smiled in return, and then they fell silent. The walk really didn’t take long, and the entire way Ymir kept her distance. Part of Krista was insanely grateful, but another part was disappointed. She was sure that Ymir would not initiate any physical contact until Krista did it herself. Krista wondered if she would be able to make that first step.

They arrived at the Waterfront—a cluster of stores and restaurants at the side of a dam. The new store that they headed to had opened a week prior, and Krista had actually heard about it from her co-workers and a few customers. Apparently it was really nice and the food was good, so it seemed like a good choice.

Until they actually reached the restaurant and stepped inside.

“Oh no, really?” Krista whined. “Why today?”

It was packed. People dotted each and every table and a line had already formed by the entrance, people waiting for a vacated table. It wasn’t too loud though, but there was a definite buzz of voices, laughter and the occasional shout. Waiting staff hurried about, dropping off orders, whisking orders away. The kitchen looked like it was in chaos trying to keep up.

“It looks super busy,” Ymir commented, studying the restaurant just as Krista was.

“Could we wait?” Krista asked. “I really want to try this place out.” _And I really want to stick to the plan or I’ll have a freak out._

Ymir must have heard the sudden increase in her heartbeat, because she dipped her head once and then smiled sadly. “Cool with me.”

They stood awkwardly, sharing glances only briefly. They weren’t speaking. Krista hated how forced the air felt between them. She had hoped that once they were seated they could open up, grow more comfortable. She had envisioned the entire afternoon going exactly as she had planned it, though she should have accounted for some things not working out.

Thirty-two minutes later they were finally ushered to an empty table, and Krista didn’t even stifle her sigh of annoyance and relief.

“What will you have, ladies?” a young man asked them, smiling politely and gesturing to the drink menu.

“Uh,” Krista nibbled on her lip and scanned the choices.

“Just a water for me, thanks,” Ymir told him.

“I’ll have a lemon iced tea, please.”

The waiter nodded and scurried off to place their orders, finally leaving them alone to wallow in the awkward silence.

Krista decided to open the menu and look at the many dishes, just to distract herself and look busy. She could feel Ymir watching her. Those eyes were so powerful. Krista couldn’t bear to look into them too long or she would forget how to breathe. It wasn’t all too bad, but she was also frightened that they would change, and seeing that brought all the horrible memories back. It wasn’t something Ymir could just stop. Krista supposed that it was natural, especially if Ymir was emotional, for her eyes to shift colour. But how emotional could she get? Did she still have a temper? Would she flash those black eyes to make another point? Krista had no idea. The person in front of her was basically a stranger.

Without Krista realizing she started drumming her fingers on the table. It went on for a good five minutes until Ymir leaned over and placed a warm hand over hers, stopping her fidgety digits.

“Relax,” Ymir pleaded. “We’re in a public place. I won’t hurt you.”

Krista’s eyes strayed to where Ymir touched her. Ymir noticed and quickly pulled back, but the heat of her hand remained and Krista’s skin tingled where Ymir’s had touched her. It made her stomach twist in nerves and Krista had to swallow the dryness from her mouth.

Their drinks arrived, and Krista nearly downed half the iced tea in one gulp. Ymir calmly took one sip, eyeing her warily with one eyebrow raised. Krista felt slightly embarrassed.

“Sorry, I was really thirsty.”

Ymir placed her glass down, licked a drop of water from her bottom lip and then chuckled. “No, you’re just nervous as hell and your throat is all dry.” Her gaze met Krista’s, forcing blue to stay on brown. “Am I right?”

_Sweet Jesus._

Ymir flashed another smile, and somehow it made Krista’s nerves ease. She relaxed slightly. “Yeah,” she confessed. “Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Ymir asked, brows furrowed. “You have every right to be nervous. I sure as hell am.”

“You?” Krista asked, incredulous. “No way.”

“My knees are trembling.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Ymir laughed. “I’m collected on the outside but really, inside I’m a mess.”

“Liar.”

Ymir laughed again and reached out for something. “Give me your hand. Feel my pulse.” She didn’t grab Krista’s hand herself, and she gave every opportunity for Krista to say no. But she didn’t. She quietly placed her hand in Ymir’s and then allowed her to press two fingers to her neck, right against a large vein. There Krista felt it—Ymir’s heart was pounding _hard._

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed, pulling back. “You weren’t lying.”

“I can’t be cool all the time,” Ymir said, rolling her eyes. “I haven’t seen you in two years. I’m basically seeing you properly for the first time. It’s a big deal to me.”

There it was. Krista’s smile faded quickly and she took to drinking more iced tea to give her some time to think, to calm down. This was it—she needed to ask. If they were going to progress at all she needed to know.

“I said I’d tell you, and I will,” Ymir started. Her water was finished. “Ask me anything and I’ll answer.”

Krista still remained silent, so long that Ymir began to look concerned. Finally, after finishing her drink and pushing the glass aside, Krista crossed her arms and then nodded. “Why did you leave?”

Ymir relaxed in her seat and levelled Krista with a very serious look. “Well, I was approached by another demon, and she suggested that I leave you.” She sighed. “That actually makes no sense.”

“Another demon?” Krista furrowed her brows. “So there really are more like you?”

“Basically, that whole thing I used to believe was a huge lie. Krista, I was born a special demon, but not one with a specific fate. Yes, I’m considered the Lucifer-born. I was the most powerful demon alive. It’s in my bloodline, you see. When I was a baby, I was taken away from my parents. They put all that crap in my head and they put something in my body so that I would mature a lot quicker than normal demons.”

“Why would they take you?”

“Because of my power, they wanted me to destroy humanity. They call themselves Illuminus.” Ymir rolled her eyes. “But I don’t know, their plans failed or something. I was taken and dropped off somewhere. My parents were looking for me ever since. When we went into that city, Hanji found me and explained that I am in fact not the only demon. And that she knew who I was. I needed to know. And when she told me that I was only a danger to you, I realized she was right.” Ymir leaned forward, eyes soft and imploring. “Do you believe me? I left to save us both.”

Krista’s heart thrummed painfully. Once again her throat was dry, so she made a mental note to order another drink with their food order. “I do now.”

“Good, good.”

“What about your sickness? Is it gone?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine now. That stuff they put in me, it made my body attack itself. That’s what caused my marks to grow and all that gross vomiting.” She cringed. “God, I have no idea what you saw in me back then.”

“Hey, you were still hot,” Krista defended. She went bright red when Ymir grinned.

“Oh?”

“Y-yeah. I was a hormonal teen, so sue me.”

“I have no intention to sue,” Ymir husked. She suddenly looked downright sultry, and the sight made Krista squirm in her seat.

“Speaking of marks… can I see them?” A part of Krista still stuck in the past panicked lightly at having asked, and she fully expected Ymir to withdraw and reject her. But she didn’t. Ymir didn’t hesitate to shrug out of her jacket and then scoot closer, an arm stretched out and placed on the table. With her other hand she moved her shirt aside as low as she could, so that Krista could see that marks on her upper chest.

Krista noted that they were slightly longer, and darker too. They weren’t even familiar. It looked like someone had thickened them, and at the end of each dark vine, there was an image. Some of them were simple, like on Ymir’s wrist there was a rose on one end, the moon on another. They were really small, black and grey to match.

“You actually got tattoos over your marks?”

Ymir smiled softly. “I figured, they look like tattoos anyway, right? And I wanted to have a fuller story with them. These marks defined me, so I wanted to make them tell my real story.”

“What do the images represent?”

“Okay, don’t laugh,” Ymir said softly. “Some of them just looked cool. Like this here, the wolf.” She pressed her finger to the mark at the upper side of her wrist. “I thought it looked really badass. I love wolves. Plus, as a spirit animal, the wolf means sharp intelligence and a deep connection with instincts, as well as a desire for freedom.” Her smile turned sad. “It also means fear—a feeling of being threatened, and of distrusting.”

“Why would you use it if it meant that?” Krista asked. She was sitting so far forward that it was no wonder she hadn’t fallen off her chair yet, but Ymir’s marks and tattoos were so interesting. It also helped that Ymir herself was interesting, with the way she spoke, confident and sure.

“It represents that time in my life where I didn’t trust anyone, even myself, and when I really was under threat. Like I said, I wanted to tell my story on my skin.”

“Okay. So what does the rose mean?”

“I didn’t choose any specific colour, because the colours all mean different things. The red rose symbolises love, the pink symbolizes gratitude, orange symbolizes desire, yellow symbolizes friendship, white symbolizes purity and lavender symbolizes enchantment.”

“Why though? You don’t like flowers.”

Ymir smiled fondly down at the tattoo, and then she looked up and caught Krista’s gaze. “Maybe not, but I like you. And you like roses. I got it for you, to always remember you. Each rose suits you.”

Krista blushed brightly. “If…” She swallowed, unsure if she should ask the question or not. “If you had to pick a colour to give me, which would you pick?”

“I’d give you pink and white together,” Ymir answered.

Krista’s heart skipped a beat. “What would that mean?”

Ymir pulled her arm back, smiling. “I’ll tell you later.” She winked then.

Krista rolled her eyes. “What about the other marks?” she asked to change the topic, since Ymir was clearly just being a little shit. Though Krista wondered if maybe the specific meaning was… serious. Maybe Ymir thought she wasn’t ready to hear it.

“Oh.” Ymir scooted back slightly and then lifted her shirt to show her stomach, where the marks had coiled out from behind her up towards her chest. Along the thick black lines, words had been etched alongside them. “I got these.”

“What are they?”

“It’s a poem in my native language.”

“You have a native language?”

“Yeah, demons don’t originally speak any human language. Remember when I used to mumble really weird stuff in my sleep?”

Krista nodded, remembering. “And when you said that weird word? Um, Gona?”

“Goen’a,” Ymir corrected, smiling. “It generally means ‘I’m sorry’.”

Krista inhaled sharply. She had always wondered what Ymir had meant. “If I had known that was what you were saying…”

“I’m not fluent at all yet,” Ymir carried on. “But my parents are teaching me. It’s a dying language, only spoken in demon families. Since we’re in the technological age, though, many demons are deciding to rather just stick with English, or whatever human language pleases them.”

Krista barely even realized that their conversation had veered completely off topic, so she decided to pull it back on track. “You mentioned your parents,” she started. “Did you find out who they were?”

At this Ymir broke out into a very big, very proud smile. “Yeah, they found me, actually. You actually met my dad already.”

Krista furrowed her brows. “Where? I don’t recall meeting some scary demon dude.”

Ymir laughed loudly, drawing attention to them from some of the surrounding tables. “Just the other day you thought you saw me at work, didn’t you? Some random lady standing at the erotica section?” She rolled her eyes. “The idiot even went and bought something.”

Krista was still confused, and she tilted her head slightly to regard Ymir very seriously. “But that was a woman,” she said.

“Oh my kind have no men.” Ymir was grinning in amusement. Krista could tell that she was very much enjoying having to explain this. “We’re a female only race. That person you saw is my dad. A little weird, I know, since she isn’t a man, but that’s just… we call our fathering parent ‘dad’ too, because well…” Ymir sighed now. “It’s so difficult to explain. She fathered me, so she’s my father.”

“She… fathered you?”

“Yeah. She got my mom pregnant with me.”

“Naturally?”

Ymir rolled her eyes at that. No doubt Krista looked morbidly intrigued and possibly a little frightened. “Yes, naturally. Demons have our own way to reproduce, but you don’t need to worry about that right now.”

Krista nodded. She felt slightly embarrassed just thinking about it, but she was definitely curious. Did they reproduce sexually, like humans? If so, then how? Did they have…? She shook her head. _No, that’s none of my business. Not yet at least._ And then another thought wiggled its way in, and Krista was far too curious to keep it back. “Can humans have demon babies? Or demons have human babies?”

Ymir pressed her cheek into her hand and grinned. “Thinking of having my babies already? We haven’t even finished our first date.”

Krista went red to the tips of her hears and sputtered loudly. “That’s not… I wouldn’t… Ymir!”

Ymir laughed loudly, right from her belly. “Oh man, you still have the cutest blush ever.” She shook her head. Before Krista could stay mad at her, Ymir grew solemn, and then she lifted her eyes, and Krista felt herself trip and fall into her molten brown gaze. There was so much emotion there, pulling Krista in, keeping her warm and content. “I missed you, Krista.”

Krista’s heart thumped, knocked curiously at her bones. She swallowed and realized that she was reaching out. Her hand came to rest on Ymir’s, so Krista went with it and gave it a soft squeeze. She didn’t remove it, and though Ymir was looking at their hands in surprise, Krista didn’t pay any attention to it. “I missed you too. I really did. A lot happened during these two years.”

Ymir’s eyes snapped up, and something dark flashed in them. “I heard about what happened with Nanaba.”

Krista shrugged. “It happened, it’s over.”

“Krista, I had no idea… I… I was probably getting sealed around that time and I would… would have saved you.”

Krista smiled. “Ymir, there was no way that you could have known. It wasn’t your fault, okay? I never blamed you and I don’t blame you now.”

Ymir’s shoulders slumped. “I want to be with you so badly,” she confessed in a broken whisper. The sudden drop in her mood was startling. “But I know that with Illuminus still out to get me, with Dante being just a nuisance, you’re in danger. I wanted to warn you about that too, Krista. That at the moment not only am _I_ dangerous, but everyone around me is too. You’re a target.”

Krista’s heart ached. “Ymir…”

“I’m selfish,” Ymir continued. She speared Krista with her eyes, forced her to look as she bared everything. “Because I still want you. Because I want to be next to you for the rest of my life. Because I want us to move on from the past. I want you to forgive what I did, who I was, and love me now. That doesn’t make me a horrible person, it just makes me selfish. Even though I’ll put you in danger, I still want you.”

This was one thing Krista had forgotten, one thing that hadn’t changed—Ymir had always been so forward, so quick to say exactly what she was thinking. At least, she did around Krista. And now she was doing it again. She was taking what she wanted. Krista realized that Ymir hadn’t meant to say all of that, because maybe it was still a little too soon. Before Ymir could panic, Krista gripped more tightly onto her hand.

“Maybe,” she said. “Maybe I want to be selfish too.”

Ymir fell silent, went still. Her eyes changed—they weren’t black or red, but they were shifting, like the ocean, filled with feelings and thoughts and desires. Looking into her eyes felt like looking into her soul, even when they were no longer brown, even when they started to darken and swirl. Looking into them didn’t scare her anymore. It made her feel… wanted. Cared for. Needed. But not like how it had been. Not like she was the beginning and the end, but merely like she was the middle, filling up all the empty spaces, enhancing all that was already there. And this was what Ymir had meant those years ago, when she said that they didn’t need to depend on each other so much. Ymir wanted them to need themselves first, and then seek the extra happiness, extra love, extra joy that they would bring to each other.

“Do I still scare you?” Ymir whispered gravely. She looked almost afraid of the answer, and that expression on her made Krista weak. It made her upset, because she knew she had the power to hurt Ymir. It made her euphoric, because Ymir needed her not to be afraid, because Ymir needed her to be near.

“Ymir…” Krista hesitantly stood and walked around the table. She paused beside Ymir, lip trembling. Her body was almost on autopilot, and her mind raced with so many things she wanted to say.

_Why did you leave?!_

_Why couldn’t you ever just contact me?!_

_In these two years, why couldn’t you ever visit?!_

_Why couldn’t you save me?!_

_Why did you have to grow without me?!_

But she swallowed all those shouts down. They didn’t mean anything anymore. Ymir had explained so little by word, but her eyes said so much. Krista had always known how to read Ymir by her expressions and body language. It seemed that in that respect, nothing had changed. Krista could tell that for this date Ymir had ripped her heart out and stitched it to her sleeve. She had left it bleeding and beating, hoping that Krista wouldn’t take it and squeeze the life out of it, crush it.

“Hug me, please?” It was a small plea, barely above a whisper, hesitant.

Ymir immediately stood and enveloped Krista in her arms, like she had been starved of physical contact for far too long. She buried her nose in Krista’s hair, sighing, just as Krista pressed her face to Ymir’s chest and inhaled her scent. It hadn’t changed—she still smelt like Ymir. The scent washed over Krista, consumed her and swept her away. She remembered each and every night spent sleeping at Ymir’s side, in her arms, against her chest. It reminded her of every kiss, of every tentative brush of their lips. It reminded her of home, and without warming Krista was sobbing quietly into Ymir’s shirt, clutching at her.

“Krista?” Ymir asked in concern. She pulled away to look at Krista’s face, and there were tears on her cheeks.

“You idiot,” Krista gasped out.

Ymir lifted a hand and brushed her tears away. To their surprise, a few tears ran down her cheeks as well. “I am, aren’t I?”

“Did you really think you’d come back here and I’d reject you?” Krista asked, huffing. Her tears were still coming out harshly, wetting her cheeks and neck. Ymir couldn’t wipe them all away.

Ymir shrugged. “If you did, I deserved it.”

Krista rolled her eyes and then embraced Ymir again, pressing her cheek to Ymir’s chest. The heartbeat there was loud, anxious, and it soothed her. “You big idiot,” she muttered. “But welcome home.”

Ymir stiffened. “Krista, are you sure?”

Krista sighed. Her tears stopped, but she stayed there, uncaring of the eyes on them, of the concerned looks the waiters were giving them. She nodded, and then she smiled. “Yeah. Welcome home Ymir. I was waiting.”

Ymir took a shattering breath, and then she tightened her arms around Krista to bring her even closer. “Thank you,” she breathed, voice wavering. “I’m home, Krista.”

Krista smiled. “And you’re not leaving me again.”

“Never.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter XVI

**XVI**

* * *

 

“What can you lose?” turned into “what more can I gain?”

After their emotional moment, Ymir and Krista had returned to their seats and ordered their food. They held hands, since Krista had assured Ymir that she was comfortable enough and she wanted the contact. When their food arrived they tried to hold hands and eat one-handed, but ended up having to let each other go, laughing at their silliness.

They left the restaurant to take a walk down at the lake, where Ymir took the time to explain the rest—Dante, her parents, what she had been doing the past two years, her sealing, and everything else in between. Krista was riveted.

So it was no surprise when a full month slipped by them, and in this time they had only bridged the gap between them.  It was a relief for Krista, to slowly learn how to let go of the old fear and anger. They weren’t at an intimate level yet, but it would definitely get there.

Krista thought about this as she tapped her finger against the wooden counter in front of her. She chewed her lip. _This month has been so nice,_ she thought. Since the first date had gone so well, Ymir had taken her to many others, and Krista had even taken the liberty of asking Ymir out a few times. They must have gone out every second or third day, sometimes for the entirety of the afternoon and night.

“Krista?”

She turned, her finger stilling. “Oh, hmm? What’s wrong, Dani?”

Krista’s co-worker—Dani—smiled nervously. “Everything okay? You looked a bit spaced out.”

“She’s probably thinking about her new plaything,” another co-worker, Mina, piped up from Dani’s back.

“What?” Krista laughed nervously. Her cheeks were definitely red now. So what if she was actually constantly spacing out to think of Ymir?

Dani rolled her eyes, sighed and then sauntered off. “Good luck,” she called softly.

Mina remained, eyes shining. “So what’s her name?”

“How do you even know about her?” Krista asked.

“Well, I see you walking with this really tall stud every night. Plus, you know, Facebook.”

Krista regretted ever giving her Facebook details to her co-workers. “She’s a highschool sweetheart,” she explained, blushing. “We haven’t seen each other in two years, and she just recently got back.”

“Oh, how cute,” Mina cooed. She slinked closer, pressing her body to the counter.

“We’ve been going on dates,” Krista added.

“Do you have feelings for each other?”

“Yes.” There was absolutely no doubt. The only issue was getting over the last few bumps in their relationship. They weren’t officially dating yet. They didn’t kiss, and only occasionally held hands. Krista hadn’t hugged Ymir since that first time at the restaurant, because she simply wasn’t sure how ready she would be. She did want to, though. Just not yet.

“Aww.”

“Anyway,” Krista hurried. “I’ll message you over Facebook about it. We should get back to work.”

Dani was waving at them, smiling innocently and pointing to a pile of newly received books that needed to be packed away. Krista held her eye-roll in with every ounce of her strength—Dani was their supervisor, so it wouldn’t do to be rude.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mina groaned. She hurried off, and Krista slunk off to hide behind a few shelves. Work was almost over, and as soon as those doors closed, Krista would see Ymir again.

Thirty-six minutes later they closed the store and quickly cashed up. After giving a hurried goodbye to her manager, Krista skipped out of the store and headed for the mall exit. Standing outside in the cool air was Ymir, slouching, glaring and looking overall extremely intimidating. She noticed Krista almost immediately, and it was almost comical how her face shifted—her harsh eyes softened, pale cheeks filled with red, thin lips pulled into a charming smile and a curved spine straightened. Ymir took her hands out of her pockets and smiled as widely as she could.

“Hey you,” she greeted.

Krista paused by her side. Her heart thudded hard in her chest. Ymir heard it, and she grinned, pleased by the fact. All Krista could do in retaliation was playfully slap her arm and then turn and walk off, huffing. Ymir was by her side in seconds.

“How was work?”

Krista smiled. “The usual. We had one asshole customer, though. The dude wanted to get a refund for a book, but we don’t do refunds, only exchanges. And worse, the book was damaged. I’m pretty sure he bought the book a few months ago too, but he kept on insisting. My supervisor tried to calm him, but his spit was flying everywhere.” She sighed just at the memory. “At least our manager was there, and she dealt with it like a pro. Anyway, enough about me, how was your day?”

Ymir’s shoulders lifted and then fell. “Same.”

Krista lifted a brow. Ymir’s mood seemed to have suddenly dropped, though she wasn’t sure why. She had seemed pretty interested earlier. “Wanna talk about it?” She couldn’t help herself and reached out to take Ymir’s hand. Ymir seemed happy for it, because her soft smile returned and she gave Krista’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Honestly? I wish I could. I just… Have you ever been told to do something you really don’t want to do?”

Krista rolled her eyes. “Many times.”

“Right, yeah.”

“But what’s wrong? Is it a demon thing?”

Ymir shrugged again. “Yeah, sorta.”

“You’ve been pretty down lately, Ymir. I’m worried. If there is anything I can do to help, anything at all, you can talk to me. I want to be a comfort to you.”

Ymir smiled and nodded. “If I really need to, I’ll tell you. Promise.”

Krista smiled. “Okay, thank you. Are you up for a movie tonight?” She resisted the urge to skip.

“I’m up for anything if it’s spending time with you,” Ymir answered immediately, but her tone had dropped again, and something dark flashed over her eyes. “But I can’t tonight, I’m sorry.”

Krista couldn’t mask the disappointment in her voice when she uttered a soft, sad, “oh, okay.”

“It’s a demon thing.”

_I need to get used to that,_ Krista thought. Sometimes she just forgot that Ymir wasn’t even human. Part of her was still a little frightened, not of Ymir, but of that side of her that wasn’t human, that wasn’t quite right.

“It’s alright,” Krista told her quickly when Ymir sighed heavily, like something too large was sitting on her shoulders. “Really.” They stopped in front of Krista’s house.

“You sure you aren’t mad?” Ymir asked. It was clear that even if Krista was, she wouldn’t cancel her plans. Krista swallowed her sadness down and nodded, smiling.

“Of course not.”

“Okay,” Ymir said, smiling in relief. “Great. Can I come around after, though?”

Krista’s heart picked up speed again, and before she knew what she was doing, she was vigorously nodding her head. “Please.” Strangely, it sounded more like a command than a plea. At least Ymir didn’t mind, if the grin she flashed was any indication. “I don’t even care if I’m asleep. Just knock on my window and I’ll let you in.”

Ymir released her hand and shoved it into her jacket. “I’ll try my best not to scare you when I do.”

Krista rolled her eyes. “So thoughtful,” she teased. “You’ll be safe, right?”

Ymir’s smile suddenly turned plastic, but Krista pretended not to notice. “As safe as I can be.”

Krista’s heart ached. “Okay.”

She prepared to turn and head to the door, but paused. Without stopping to think about it, she leaned up on her toes and pressed a gentle kiss to Ymir’s cheek. And then she hurried to the door, slipped inside and closed it. Krista took in a deep breath, cheeks blazing.

“Krista?” Nanaba asked from the lounge. “Are you okay?”

Krista smiled. “Yeah.” Her lips tingled. “I’m perfect.”

XxX

Ymir inhaled deeply through her nose and stared intensely at the wooden door shielding Krista from her. The spot where Krista had kissed her almost burnt, like an aching reminder. It was glorious, and Ymir was too scared to even lift a finger to touch it, because what if she wiped it off? What if she touched it, tainted it and the burning stopped? Ymir bit deeply into her lip and then turned and walked down the road.

She really had meant it that she had demon things to do—which really weren’t all that different from human things, mostly. But this once it was, and Ymir was steadily growing less patient and calm with each step she took. Eventually she lost every shred of patience, and allowed her wings to split from her back. It was quicker flying than walking—and she had somewhere important to be.

Just before exiting the town, there was a small bar occupied mostly by angry men that had nothing better to do than drink and complain. It was there that Ymir had designated the meeting. She landed quietly at the back of the establishment, shrugged back into her jacket and then walked around to the entrance.

Inside the place it was musty and dank, and Ymir’s nose crinkled in displeasure when man sweat and stale beer hit her senses.

_She better be here,_ Ymir thought, eyes flicking over the room until she found her target, sitting right at the back, figure hunched over. She made her way over, steadying her breathing. When she sat down, her companion glanced up and then relaxed.

“Hanji,” Ymir greeted softly.

Hanji grinned at her. “Really Ymir, here of all places?”

Ymir forced a smile. “I had no choice. Do you have the information?”

Hanji pulled a small USB from her coat pocket, and twirled it between her fingers. “Before I give this data to you, I need to know why. What are you going to do?”

Ymir pressed her lips together. “I can’t tell you.”

“Are you going to assassinate Dante?”

Ymir was definitely surprised, but she showed no sign of it. She merely stared at Hanji, silent. Hanji took that as an answer and simply handed the USB over. “From the data I collected, she spends all her time at the Illuminis facility. Those are the times she usually leaves, and where to.” Hanji paused, and then reached out and placed a hand on Ymir’s shoulder. “Whatever it is that you’re doing, Ymir, please…” Her mouth turned downward in a frown. “Please be safe.”

Ymir stood to pull Hanji into a fierce hug. “I’m not doing this because I want to,” she promised. “And I have so much to live for. So don’t worry. I have a plan. I know what I’m doing.”

Hanji sighed. She was still shivering, and she refused to let go of Ymir for a long while. When she eventually did, she had to force her hands into her pockets. “They lost you once, they can’t lose you again.”

Ymir nodded. “And you can’t either. I know. I promise that I’ll be safe.”

It was enough for Hanji to completely relax, and the two of them slipped back into their seats. A young boy stopped by their table, clearly not sure of their presence. They gave him their drink orders, and then chuckled as he walked off.

“Okay, I won’t ask you why you needed all this stuff on Dante. What I will ask, though, is how things are going with Krista?”

Ymir finally allowed herself a true, genuine smile. “Okay,” she started, and she told Hanji everything from the first day to the last moment she had shared with Krista before hurrying over here.

Much later, after a few drinks and lots of conversation, Ymir flew back to Krista’s place. She had promised to drop by, after all. She hesitated before knocking, though, but the front door swung open and she blinked.

“Ymir,” Krista breathed in relief. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

Ymir’s heart stilled and her world quieted down to nothing but the beautiful girl in front of her, with messy hair, drool on her chin and gorgeous, sleepy eyes. Ymir smiled. “How could I stay away?”

Despite the hour, Krista ushered her inside, and they gathered together on the couch.

XxX

“So you’ve been going out on dates and stuff, but you aren’t together yet?” Damian asked, hands on her hips. She was looming over Ymir, who was sprawled out on the grass at the back with Amir, both enjoying the sun.

“Basically,” Ymir answered. “She isn’t comfortable with me like that yet, mom. I need to take this slowly.”

Damian opened her mouth, but Ymir stared up at her, imploring. Damian cleverly redirected her thoughts. “Alright then. I just think you’re waiting too long, Ymir. Life is so short. If you love her, have her.”

“Not if she doesn’t want me,” Ymir pointed out.

“She has a point there babe,” Amir agreed. “Humans are very different to us. They’ll have a different relationship. But give them space. Don’t be that overbearing mom.”

Ymir rolled over onto her father, and the two laughed loudly at the way Damian rolled her eyes at them.

“Ymir,” Damian snapped sternly. They stopped laughing. “I want to meet her. I’m serious. I need to know why you want to break your heart for her.”

Ymir bit into her lip. “Fine,” she said, sighing. “I’ll ask her.”

Later, Ymir tapped her leg nervously and stared down at her phone. It hadn’t sustained too much damage the last time she had dropped it, luckily. Ymir sort of wished it had broken, though. It would save her having such an awkward conversation. But eventually she steeled herself, and she tapped lightly at the screen to dial Krista’s number.

It rang twice and Krista picked up before the third.

“Ymir.” Her voice was sweet and low, and Ymir’s keen ears could pick up the sound of her pattering heart. Krista’s voice always changed pitch when they spoke, and it was something that Ymir enjoyed very much. Krista relaxed so much around her now, especially over the phone. They had really come so far.

“Hey,” she greeted awkwardly. “I kind of have something important to ask.” The line was silent, but Krista’s breaths were not. She said nothing. Ymir swallowed. “My mom kind of really wants to meet you, so I said I’d ask. You really don’t have to if you don’t want to, honest. My parents are like two big, dumb, protective demon babies. I swear I raise them sometimes.”

Krista’s breathes eased, but her heart stilled raced. After a short moment of deliberation, Krista spoke. “Okay,” she said simply.”

Ymir blinked. “Really? Just like that?”

“You love them, and if your mother wants to meet me, then how can I say no? Ymir, I really do want to fix things between us. We aren’t exactly there yet, and I want to support you in every way that I can. Every healthy way. Can you let me do this for you? I won’t let your parents scare me, honest.”

Ymir snorted. All of the tension melted out of her muscles. She relaxed into the couch and kicked her feet up on the coffee table. No one would complain as long as she was alone in the room, so she kept an ear out for any approaching footsteps.

“I honestly think they’re more scared of you right now.”

Ymir could hear the swift inhale from the other side of the call. “Why?”

Ymir sighed. “Because no one has the power to hurt me like you do.”

Krista fell silent immediately, like the confession had sucked all the words right out of her mouth. Ymir could almost taste her toes. Why had she said that? Krista would no doubt get upset, freak out and end the call. She wasn’t trying to pressure her or to blackmail her. It was the simple truth.

“Then I need to work hard not to intentionally hurt you,” Krista finally said.

Ymir exhaled in relief. “I’m pretty sure I ate a huge foot sandwich right there.”

Krista giggled. “Not if it’s the truth, Ymir. So when do they want to meet? What will we do?”

Ymir shrugged, realized that Krista had no way to see her, and felt like an idiot. “Um, I’m not sure yet. But I’ll send you a message, if that’s okay?”

“That’s fine. You know when I’m working.”

“Yeah. It’ll definitely be soon though. Maybe tonight.”

“Tonight?” Krista’s voice wavered, and Ymir heard the faint slamming of her heart. She was nervous, no doubt.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, not at all. Just really soon. It’s fine though. You’ll let me know?”

Ymir slid down until she was halfway hanging off of the couch, wrapped an arm around herself and smiled. “Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you soon then?” Ymir felt her chest warm and tighten. The breath left her, like it always did. Krista always made her goods days even better.

“See you soon then,” Krista echoed. Ymir closed her eyes and she could see Krista’s gentle smile.

“Be safe.”

Krista sighed dramatically. “I try my best.”

Ymir laughed. “I’m sure you do.”

XxX

She wasn’t terrified. She _wasn’t_ absolutely shaking from the nerves. No, Krista was absolutely fine. This was Ymir. She was cool with Ymir. _But now it’s her parents,_ she thought. _Two demons I’ve never met before. What if they’re scary?_

Krista paused in her pacing to glance at her bedroom cupboard. Clothes lay scattered on the floor and her bed, where a few possible outfits waited for her pending judgement. It was merely the fear of the unknown that gripped her so hard. She knew that Ymir would never intentionally put her in harm’s way.

Krista finally decided to quit her pacing and end her agony. She tried on the first few outfits, then decided on the third. It was a pretty light blue dress. It was modest yet attractive at the same time, ending a few inches above her knees, but the neckline dropped almost a little too low. She wore her best bra to enhance her cleavage, then threw on a light jacket to cover it all—the cleavage was for Ymir, not her parents, least they think that all she had in mind was seduction. Though it really wasn’t.

Since her return, Krista hadn’t been super keen on physical contact with Ymir. But over time, as they had grown closer, she realized how much she missed that intimacy she had with Ymir. Just holding Ymir’s hand had a satisfying edge to it, but she wanted more. She wanted to embrace her, to wrap Ymir up in her arms and pulled her face down, to slide their lips together and taste her tongue. Anything more than that was in the realm of fantasy, but Krista was there.

“So not the thing to think about right now,” she muttered to herself, shaking her head. She slapped her own cheeks lightly, then worked on her makeup and hair. The time was ticking, and this once it was not on her side. Nanaba was out, as well, so Krista had no funnel to sort out her nerves and ease her worries for the day. She missed Nanaba.

Her phone rang and she promptly forgot about her housemate. When she answered it, every tense muscle in her body melted like butter. “Hello?”

“Krista,” Ymir spoke. “I just wanted to hear if you’re still sure about this. You can still back out at any time.”

There was the sound of many voices in the background. “Are you already at the restaurant?”

Ymir paused, then sighed. “Yes.”

“Then I’m still doing this. You’ve all probably dressed really nicely and drove all the way out there and I just, I can’t disappoint you.”

Ymir chuckled. “Thought so. So—no!” her voice softened as she pulled the phone away, and Krista assumed that last shout wasn’t for her. “Dad, seriously,” Ymir whined. “Please stop. Mom, don’t encourage her!” Krista began to laugh and continued to even when Ymir returned to their conversation. “Oh, you find that funny, huh? Wait until _you’re_ the one they pick on.” She sounded like she was sulking.

“Adorable,” Krista choked out. “I can’t wait, actually.”

“So you’re definitely still coming?”

Krista smiled, more sure of herself now than she ever had been. This, she thought, would be the deciding factor, after all. Before she could let Ymir that close again, she needed to see every bit and piece of her, and accept it all.

“Of course. I’m heading out now.”

“I can’t wait.” Ymir sounded hopeful, pleased.

Krista’s heart swelled. “Me too.”

The call ended and Krista hurried to finish the last of her outfit. She grabbed her purse, the house keys and her phone and then headed out. Nanaba had left her car for Krista to use, the wonderful woman. Krista climbed in, more than familiar with the comfortable seats. The drive there was quiet. She could have switched the radio on, but opted not to. Krista needed nothing but her own torturing thoughts.

They were meeting at the city’s largest centre, where tourists usually spent their money and time. Krista had been surprised at first, when Ymir told her where they would be having dinner. But when she saw them, it seemed to make sense somehow.

Krista stepped into the restaurant, and before she had to even ask the waiter where her table was, that she was meeting with people, her eyes slid to the corner of the expensively decorated establishment, and landed on them. At first Ymir was all she saw. Those dark brown eyes gazed at her, soft and welcoming, and those lips were pulled up in a smile. Krista’s entire body warmed and tingled at the sight, and she was sure her heart had started to skip around in her chest. She was surprised the waiter didn’t hear it and immediately call an ambulance.

Ymir turned sharply and her ears turned red, and it was then that Krista noticed the other two people seated at the table. The one right across from Ymir looked like her identical twin, but with much darker hair and a large lack of freckles. She still had a few, but they were miniscule. Her eyes were green, not brown, and they seared right through Krista with their intensity. She knew that this woman had met her once before, and her face burnt brightly with the realization.

Then her eyes moved to the last person at the table, and her breath caught in her throat. It was difficult to really explain how Ymir resembled so much of this woman even if their features were slightly off. They just _did._ That same snark and vehemence that Ymir so easily honed stared right across the room from that woman. Krista knew where Ymir got her colours, since this woman had brown hair, dark brown eyes and lots of freckles. She was almost glaring, which was somehow even more terrifying than when Ymir did it, and Ymir’s glare had always been bone-chilling. Unlike the other two, though, this woman was shorter and smaller. Still much bigger than Krista, but at least not by an extreme amount.

Ymir looked at her again and waved, beckoning her over. Her overall assessment of the occupants of the table must have taken just under a minute, but Krista felt like her earth had just shattered. She was shaking all over again, fingers knocking together. But she swallowed it down and walked over to Ymir. When she neared them, Ymir stood, smiling ruefully.

“I can hear your heart,” she said softly. Krista knew what that meant, that the other two could as well, that they knew the affect Ymir had on her and how terrified she was. “There’s still chance to back out, you know.”

Krista pressed her face to Ymir’s chest and hugged her. Ymir froze in surprise, and then folded her arms around her and pressed her lips to her head. “I’m just nervous,” Krista explained softly. “Give me some time to get comfortable.”

Ymir nodded. Neither let go nor moved, not until a throat cleared behind them and they remembered that they were in a room full of people.

“Right,” Ymir muttered. She stepped to Krista’s side, then took her hand. “Dad,” she looked at the black haired one with green eyes, “mom”, she directed at the other, “this is Krista.”

Krista swallowed. “I-it’s nice to finally meet you.”

The two of them scrutinized her intensely for a minute. They didn’t look human at all. Like Ymir, they looked _other_. Ethereal. Godlike. No human could ever be as frightening or as beautiful as these demons. Finally their harsh expressions broke, and both of them wore equally pleased smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you, Krista,” Ymir’s father said first. She stood and held out a hand, to which Krista quickly accepted. The grip was too warm but so gentle, and it dropped before Krista could decide anything more. “I’m Amir.”

Amir grinned at the demon beside her and then returned to her seat. Those brown eyes were still intense, but the smile beneath them took most of the harshness away. “I’m Damian, Ymir’s mother,” she said. It sounded like a casual statement and a threat all in one. “We’ve heard too much about you.”

Ymir groaned. “Mom, please.”

“No, it’s okay,” Krista assured her. She was feeling better as the minutes went by. “I get it.” She looked directly at Damian as she spoke. Because she _did._ This woman was a mother, and Ymir her daughter. Ymir, who had been taken. Ymir, who had suffered alone. Ymir, who could be hurt so easily by a feeble human girl. “It’s okay, really.”

Damian seemed mildly taken by surprise, but then that turned into satisfaction and she bowed her head slightly. “You really are as lovely as Ymir said,” Damian told her.

Krista flushed again. “Th-thank you.”

They sat at last, though Ymir kept a firm grip on her hand. Krista made sure to intertwine their fingers. Ymir was being so sweet, and somehow she knew that Krista needed the physical contact. She needed to feel secure, and Ymir’s firm hold gave her that.

Ymir was also stunning. She, like Amir, wore a crisp black suit. The jacket was draped over the back of her seat and the sleeves were rolled up neatly to her elbows. Since this was such a fancy restaurant, the outfit was fitting. But damn, Ymir looked so good. Krista couldn’t stop looking at her. Everyone had grown quiet to look through the menus—and probably give Krista some time to breathe before the heavy stuff really happened—and Krista used this time to stare. Or maybe it was ogling, she wasn’t really sure. Ymir turned to her suddenly and her smile was smug. She was obviously very aware of Krista’s staring.

“Krista,” Ymir garnered her attention. Krista’s eyes flicked down to her lips as they moved. “Just like my ears, my nose is pretty sensitive.” She tapped her nose for emphasis, flashed a very cheeky grin, and then returned to the menu.

It took a second for the meaning to sink in, and then Krista went bright red all over again. Amir chuckled across from them, but she quieted quickly when someone kicked her underneath the table. Krista only went redder.

“Humans,” Damian commented with a small, pleased smile. “So easily pleased. So easy to please.” At that Amir wiggled her brows.

There was no emotion stronger than mortification, but if there was, Krista would be feeling it. She squeezed her thighs together and fought the urge to bolt. Ymir gave her hand a squeeze, and then she was leaning in, lips brushing against Krista’s ear, making it warm.

“They’re just teasing,” she assured. “But I really can smell arousal, so…”

Krista swallowed, nodded. Ymir’s hand disappeared from hers as she straightened, and it suddenly felt like there was a world between them. Krista wanted Ymir’s hand back, but she understood why.

_Just relax, calm yourself down._ She inhaled deeply. This was going to be a very interesting, very difficult night.

XxX

The scent of Krista’s excitement, as unexpected as it had been, still burnt sharply in Ymir’s nose. A good hour had passed, yet she could not release the memory. Her body was burning, and if she was honest with herself, she would have begged Krista there, to take her, to have her. It was strange. She had never felt that way before. When she had been with Krista before in the past, she had never desired her like this. Her other problems had always clouded over that. But now that her mind was clear, she could so clearly feel the burning attraction. When Krista had stepped into the room, Ymir had sensed her immediately. She had also sensed that something important had shifted, and so she had allowed physical contact, because Krista had already climbed that barrier. But this? To be taken so quickly, so harshly, by something so primal?

Her parents were talking to Krista, asking about her life and her interests. Ymir couldn’t partake. She was shivering. Every once in a while someone would request her input, but they left her alone for the most part. She hadn’t taken Krista’s hand again, even though her skin pleaded for her to. She certainly did stare, though. Krista was so beautiful in that dress. From her height Ymir could see bountiful cleavage peeking from the opening of Krista’s jacket.

This was torture.

“Ymir, are you alright?” Amir asked.

Ymir smiled. “Perfect.” She glanced at her father, realized that Amir was sending her a message, and then nodded. “I need the restroom.” She turned to Krista and dared to lightly caress her wrist. “I’ll be back.”

Krista smiled. She was at ease, but her heart immediately thumped louder after Ymir had touched her. Ymir heard it. She heard everything, and she had to force herself to stand and head over to the bathroom. Amir followed.

“Ymir…” Amir put a hand on her shoulder once they were inside. “Are you okay?”

Ymir shrugged. “What’s going on with me? This has never happened before.”

Amir sighed, leaned against the sink counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “Demons feel everything more intensely,” she said. “Much more than the humans do. When you smelt her like that, I think it started something painful for you.” She looked almost sad.

Ymir didn’t get it. “What do you mean?”

Once again, Amir sighed. “Why do you think we had you, Ymir, when we had been ordered not to?” She hardened her gaze. “Because we couldn’t stop it. It happened so suddenly. I’d always wanted kids, but I had decided to end my bloodline with me. When I met Damian though,” she sighed, wistful. “It’s like she burnt my body. The heat took me quickly, and I had no power to stop my need for her. You were a product of that loss of control, but you were also intensely wanted.”

“I still don’t get it. We go into heat? Like dogs?”

“Ymir, as a species, we have an intense desire to breed. It’s in our genes. When you meet someone that you are compatible with, they overtake you. Your body says, okay, it’s time to make babies. Sometimes you can say no, especially if you definitely plan to, just not yet. But if you’re trying to resist it completely, it’s even more difficult, because it intensifies.”

Ymir froze. She very slowly turned to the sink, to look at her reflection. “Are you saying that right now, I want to have a baby with her?”

“Yeah,” Amir nodded. “But…”

“But?”

Amir sighed. “Ymir, that’s the one thing we were afraid of. We hoped, that maybe you didn’t feel _this_ strongly for her. It’s only going to hurt you in the end.”

“Why? Are you saying I can’t be with her like that?”

“No.” Amir looked away, frowning. “You can be with her, Ymir. You can marry her, sleep with her. But you can never breed with her.” She looked back to Ymir, and every bit of the truth rested in her eyes.

Ymir wasn’t sure why, but her eyes began to burn. “I don’t even want kids though.”

“You don’t here,” Amir tapped her head. “But in here, deep in here,” she tapped her chest, above her heart, “you do. And you always will.”

“So, what, is it too dangerous for her? How… how would we even?”

“The how isn’t the problem. You can never make her pregnant, Ymir.” Amir stepped closer and turned Ymir, so that they were facing each other. “She is a human, and you are a demon. We look alike, and on some levels we are, but genetically, down to our cores, we are essentially built of very different things. Some of us have tried before, but you can’t take these two things that don’t go together, and try to make something new from them.” She closed her eyes. “It’s like wondering why a cat and a lion can’t breed. It’s just impossible.”

Ymir’s throat was suddenly too thick. She didn’t understand why she suddenly felt like she’d been punched in the gut. The air had left her lungs. Her heart ached. What was this feeling? This sensation of loss and depression? Ymir had never even thought about having children. She and Krista hadn’t even kissed yet. But this? Would she always want Krista like this, to make something with her that they couldn’t? Would she always try? Always feel the devastation when she didn’t succeed? What would Krista think?

“Dad,” Ymir choked out. “Why is this happening so suddenly?”

“Maybe it’s the fact that she’s meeting us. I can’t be sure. Your mother is going to be upset.”

“How do you think Krista will take it?”

“Ymir, that is entirely up to how you tell her, if you do.”

Ymir nodded. “Not now,” she said. “We aren’t there yet. But when we are, I will tell her. She needs to know before she decides to spend her life with me.”

“And that, Ymir, is why we are scared.” Amir turned for the door and held it open, eyes boring over her shoulder and into Ymir’s. “Because she is already hurting you, without having to do anything. The most tragic thing for a demon to do, is to fall in love with a human. It’s a dead-end.”

Ymir nodded. “Okay.”

“I’ll tell the others you were just nervous.” She walked out and the door shut behind her.

Ymir puzzled over her expression, over the tears slipping down her cheeks. She had never even considered this. Children with Krista? Never. But now, it was all she could think about. The feelings were rushing over her, and it was a long while before she could get control of herself. The only thing that seemed to help, was somehow hearing Krista’s calm heartbeat in the next room. Ymir focused on it, and through sheer will, pushed everything else away. She washed her face, inhaled steadily, and then headed out.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no playlist for chapter XVII

**XVII**

* * *

 

“So you live with your friend now?” Damian asked, sipping at her drink.

“Yeah. After what happened, Nanaba and I decided to move in together. She’s really great, actually. She’s helped me through a lot. She loves Ymir a lot, too.”

Damian’s brow hiked. “Is that what it sounds like?”

Krista glanced in the direction Ymir had headed. She and Amir were still gone, so she decided it was safe. “Yeah, it does.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

Krista shrugged. “How could she not, you know? Ymir is… well, Ymir. She’s amazing. She’s beyond. I can’t imagine not falling in love with her. I just hate that Nanaba has been hurt.”

Damian sent Krista a puzzled look. “You have no problem with your friend having romantic feelings for the same person that you do? That’s odd.”

“Maybe it is. Nanaba couldn’t control it any more than I could, so why should I be upset?” She smiled. “And even if Ymir had chosen her over me, as long as she was happy, I would be okay.”

Damian snorted. “As if,” she scoffed. “That daughter of mine thinks about you day in and day out. She mopes around the house when you aren’t together because she misses you.”

Krista blushed. “R-really?”

Damian didn’t say anything more. Her head lifted, eyes flicking slightly over Krista’s head, and then back to her eyes. The intensity increased. Krista had to look away.

Amir sat down carefully. “I took care of it,” she said quietly to Damian. “She’s just… sorting through it.”

Krista’s stomach tightened in concern. “Is Ymir okay?”

Amir’s eyes flashed to her, suddenly solemn and filled with pity. But then that washed away and Amir smiled at her. “She’s just nervous,” she said. “You dressed a little too pretty today.”

Damian snorted at that, lifting a brow. Amir turned to her, and the pair shared a secretive look, though they were grinning. Krista was confused by the situation, though her cheeks were definitely red. When Ymir finally joined them, her eyes were slightly red and her cheeks flushed, but she looked more relaxed. Krista took her hand the second she could.

“Are you alright?”

Ymir studied her face for a long while, and then she gave a short, slow nod. “I’m fine,” she assured. Krista didn’t entirely believe her. “Promise.”

Krista forced a smile in return. “Okay, if you say so.”

XxX

It was interesting to see Krista interact so easily with her parents. Damian continued to hassle her, pretending to be angry or upset. It scared Krista at first, until she caught on and quickly learnt how to deal with it. It also seemed that when Ymir had escaped to the bathroom, her mother and Krista had bonded. Somehow. The glares Damian sent Krista seemed much friendlier than before.

“I really had fun,” Krista spoke up, smiling. “I don’t know what I was expecting. Your parents are really nice. I see so much of them in you.”

Ymir pulled them to a stop just in front of Krista’s house. “I’m glad.” She looked down at their connected hands, studied the freckles on her fingers that were intertwined with Krista’s. That same burning started in her lower belly again, even from such a simple touch. Her heartbeat increased, but she attempted to swallow the feelings down.

“Ymir, are you okay?”

Krista’s breath washed over Ymir’s chin, and her head snapped up in surprise. Krista’s face was right in front of hers, big blue eyes studying her in concern, lush pink lips parted. Ymir swallowed again. “Krista…”

“Ymir?”

_I shouldn’t,_ Ymir thought. _I’m not in the best frame of mind. I need to get away from her before I fuck everything up. Again._

“Krista, I…”

“What’s wrong?” Krista was up on her tip toes, hands clutching at the front of Ymir’s shirt. The tie was loosened, since the formal evening was done. But Ymir felt like the tie was still strangling her. The silk fabric over her torso suddenly felt too constricting, trapping all the heat in her body. Too hot. Everything was suddenly too hot. Krista leaned in even closer, dangerously close. Ymir’s heart squeezed painfully.

Hesitantly, gently, Ymir placed her hands on Krista’s shoulders and lowered her until she was flat on her feet. “Krista,” she started. “I don’t want to scare you, but I might not be able to control myself if you stand so close.”

Krista’s eyes widened. “Why?”

Ymir swallowed. Her hands felt like they were burning, even though fabric separated their skin. “It’s a demon thing.”

“Is it me?” Ymir looked away. “I knew it! You’ve been acting strange all evening. Is something happening? Are you sick again?”

“I’m not sick, Krista,” Ymir sighed. “I really don’t want to have to tell you so soon.”

“At least tell me the basics? Do you need me to leave?”

“No!” Ymir clenched her teeth. “It’s just…” Breathing was a struggle. Her blood pulsed hotly through her body, excited. Krista appealed more to her now than she ever had, the way she was glancing up, so innocently and with so much love. It was clear on her face. Ymir loved that about her. No matter how easily Krista could lie to others, she would always be able to see through her. To see the truth hiding in her blue irises.

“It’s just?”

Ymir’s hands tightened ever so slightly. Krista didn’t flinch. “I want to kiss you,” Ymir finally blurted.

Krista stiffened. Her eyes lowered to their feet as her face flushed. Even her ears went red. “I-is that it?”

“No,” Ymir breathed. “That’s only a tiny bit of it.”

“You said it’s a demon thing. Is it also… I mean, if it’s me, and you want to kiss me… is it… are you…?” Krista’s face turned a darker shade, but she forced herself to look up and meet Ymir’s gaze.

“It’s too early to explain it.”

“But is it what I think it is?”

“I’m not sure what you’re thinking off.”

Krista’s shoulders squared. Ymir was still holding her, so her hands quickly dropped. Determination evened Krista’s features out, which must have given her the strength to beat her embarrassment down. “Ymir, is it your physical attraction to me that’s making you act so weird, because you’re a demon?”

Ymir closed her eyes, sighed. “Yes,” she confessed quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Soft warmth. That was the only way she could describe it. Small, velvety lips pressed to her own quivering ones, stopping any other apology, or word, or worry. Krista was up on her toes again, pulling her down by the front of her shirt, putting force into her kiss. Ymir couldn’t help but go with it. She hadn’t expected to kiss Krista this soon, if at all.

Her worries melted away in an instant. Krista, so physically in her arms, calmed her. Instead of making the heat worse, like it should have, Krista’s kiss stole the passion from her veins, cooled the heat in her blood. She inhaled sharply, whimpered against her, pulled Krista close. She wrapped her up in her arms, revelled in her.

“It’s okay,” Krista gasped out against her lips.

“Krista,” Ymir groaned in defeat.

“Would you like to come inside?”

Ymir pulled away instantly, eyes wide in shock, mouth gaping. “I don’t… um…”

Krista studied her face for a moment, and then she giggled. “I just want to cuddle, promise.” She reached out and took Ymir’s hand, and once again the heat along Ymir’s skin found a way to escape, and she cooled down. “I think after today, cuddles are needed.”

“Are you sure?”

They made their way to the door, holdings hands and stepping quietly. It was dark and silent inside, but Ymir could hear Nanaba’s heartbeat in one of the rooms.

“Definitely,” Krista answered. She didn’t switch any lights on and only pulled Ymir with her towards her bedroom. Ymir couldn’t help how her stomach fluttered. “Now, do you have anything comfortable to sleep in?”

“Not really.”

“My clothes are too small.”

“I’ve got boxers on.”

Krista went to her cupboard and nodded. “I have some of your old clothes.”

Ymir went to take her pants and shirt off—she had a sports bra underneath, which would be sufficient to sleep in. “I’m not going to ask why,” she said. “But I am a little concerned.”

Krista laughed. Ymir tried not to turn around to look, because she could hear each scrape of fabric against Krista’s skin as her clothes dropped off of her, then slid back on. She swallowed. The heaviness in her limbs never really went away, just the fever. She wondered if sleeping in the same bed really was a good idea, but then Krista joined her side, took her hand and looked up at her.

“Ready?”

Ymir could only nod. It didn’t matter if she suffered through it, because Krista needed to cuddle. It was the most important part of any relationship. Could she give Krista satisfactory cuddles? Tonight would tell. And on that vein, Ymir realized something.

“Krista, before we get in that bed…” Krista was already under the covers, so Ymir could only roll her eyes and continue. “I just, I think I should ask, just to clarify things.”

Krista pulled the blanket up until it was just under her nose. “Go ahead.”

“Are we… are we okay now? Are we like before? Are we better now?”

A small hand reached out and Ymir took it. She was gently tugged until she gave in and settled underneath the covers with Krista. Almost immediately Krista curled up against her side and hummed in delight. “Are you asking if we’re together now?”

“Yeah,” Ymir mumbled. Her face was red. Krista was so warm and soft against her. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed this, the simple physical contact of cuddling. “Can I call you my girlfriend again?”

Krista inhaled sharply, like the words had stabbed her in the heart. Ymir was about to jump out of the bed and apologize, but Krista crawled on top of her and rested her ear against Ymir’s bare chest—the sports bra only covered the essentials. They hadn’t even thought to be slightly embarrassed with the amount of skin Ymir was revealing.

“This is fine,” Krista whispered. She found Ymir’s hand and took it, intertwined their fingers. “I think we’ve always been more than girlfriends, but that’s okay. We can be that. I’m ready, Ymir. After all this time, I think we’re both finally ready to be there for each other in the ways that really count.”

“You…” Ymir felt her eyes burn. She pulled Krista higher up to press a kiss against her forehead, then wrapped her up in a tight hug. “I love you. I’ve been wanting to tell you that for the past two years. I love you. I always have loved you. And if you give me the chance, I will do my best to love you for the rest of our lives.”

Krista sighed. “I wondered when you would finally say it.”

“Better late than never, right?”

Krista laughed and lightly slapped Ymir’s chest. “You’re so funny now.”

“I’m a lot of things now.”

Krista grew silent, then sighed. “You’ll stay this time, right?”

“I promise. But don’t hang on my words, wait to see it first-hand.”

“You really have changed Ymir.”

Ymir lightly stroked Krista’s long golden hair. She smiled softly, then turned them around so that she could press against Krista’s back. “I wanted to be a decent person. It took time, but I’m there.”

Krista wrapped one of Ymir’s large hands in her own, then nodded. “I love you too, you know.”

“Thank you.”

“I always have.”

Ymir pressed her face to Krista’s shoulder, nuzzled against her. “You’re the only one that did.”

Krista shook softly with a laugh. “Okay, let’s go to sleep before we start a really serous conversation.”

Ymir agreed by tightening her arms and then relaxing. They didn’t say anything more, but the contentment that surrounded them said everything. At once they fell asleep, finally together in each other’s arms.

XxX

Nanaba shifted in her bed, eyelids fluttering, sweat making the fabric of her shirt and boxers cling to her skin. She puffed an irritated breath and whipped over onto her side, then groaned. The cool air chilled her, but the heat underneath her skin made her uncomfortable. She woke before she could toss again, and blinked blearily up at the ceiling. It took a moment for reality to wash back in, and when it did Nanaba sat up to run a hand through her damp hair.

“Again,” she sighed. “It happened again.”

It always ended like this. She struggled to fall asleep, then when she did she tossed and turned until it somehow woke her. The dreams were always similar—variations of Ymir disappearing, of Ymir being a monster, of the kidnapping. Each time she woke alone, a hollow ache in her chest began. Ever since Ymir had returned, Krista had not shared her bed. She wasn’t jealous and she wasn’t upset. She was simply lonely.

Since sleep would elude her yet again, Nanaba decided to get started on her day. A jog would suffice, then a nice shower. She could check her emails after, make some breakfast for when Krista woke. It was still early in the morning, but if she tried she could help the hours melt away until the sun was up.

Nanaba climbed out of bed, discarding her damp and crumbled blanket, and left her room. She heard a noise echo down the hallway when her bare feet pressed against the floor, and froze to listen. Her heart jumped into her throat. Nanaba couldn’t help that her imagination raced along. Were there demons in the house? Ready to kidnap them again?

Nanaba felt the breath leave her in her terror, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and forced her feet to move. One in front of the other, forward, another step, and then she was in the kitchen doorway, eyes wide as she stared at the figure standing by the fridge. For a moment Nanaba’s ultimate fear was realized. It was a demon. Tall, red skinned like a lizard, a long swishing tail and pointy black horns. There were various black dots along the demon’s shoulders, and when they slowly turned to look at Nanaba with black and red eyes, she noted the same spots on the face, too.

“Oh, Nanaba,” the demon uttered, though not surprised. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but still completely alien. It was too deep, too gruff. The demon straightened and nearly smashed into the ceiling, but then its body began to shrink. The skin turned to light brown, horns receded, and finally Ymir’s eyes returned to normal. “Sorry,” she blurted, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Y-Ymir?” Nanaba swallowed again. The fear faded slowly. She was filled with relief, then suspicion, then confusion, then finally embarrassment. “You’re naked,” she rushed, quickly moving to cover her eyes.

“Oh shit, yeah. That happens.”

“What are you doing here?”

Ymir turned, not making any apparent move to cover her naked self. Nanaba peeked and got an eyeful of freckled butt cheeks. Like the rest of her, Ymir had freckles even there. Her ass looked so nice, though, especially when she opened the fridge and then bent slightly to stick her head inside. Nanaba closed her eyes and inhaled to give herself strength.

“Why am I here in general?” Ymir asked casually. An arm disappeared, and Nanaba thought she heard the sound of packets tearing. “Well, Krista asked me to stay over. She’s asleep now, though.” Ymir straightened, then chewed. After swallowing loudly, she dove back in. “But why am I in the kitchen? Well, I’m not a human, and staying in this form takes a lot out of me sometimes. I need to eat a lot.” She straightened again, swallowed again then shut the fridge.

Nanaba’s brain nearly short circuited. “You were in Krista’s bed?” she asked, gaping.

Ymir eyed her curiously, finally covered her naked breasts by crossing her arms over them. “Yeah, I was.”

Nanaba’s eyes widened and she blushed. “Did you… um… did you two…?”

For a moment Ymir simply stared, then she laughed and shrugged. “Did we have sex? I wish. No, Nanaba. We just slept.”

“But you’re naked.”

“I take my clothes off when I need to change,” Ymir said. “Or else they tear. You know, my natural body is much bigger than this one. You saw me just now, didn’t you?”

The memory was vivid, and Nanaba couldn’t help the shiver of fear that rocked through her. “Yeah,” she breathed. “I remember. But why… why now? In here?”

Ymir lazily stretched her body, groaning when her joints cracked. “I had to wait for Krista to really be asleep. If she saw me like that, no doubt she’d dump me. I really need to shift at least once a day. If I don’t, and I get the slightest bit upset, I can’t control it and just burst into a giant demon.” Ymir chuckled in dark amusement to herself. “I made that fatal mistake once. I was amused, my mom not so much.”

“So you can control it now?”

Ymir nodded, smiling. “Yeah. I scared you though, didn’t I?”

“A little.”

“Sorry. I heard you wake up, and I was curious to see how you’d react. You didn’t scream and run, so that’s something.”

Nanaba felt like her chest had turned to stone. The fact that Ymir had scared her… It made her sad. She didn’t want to fear Ymir. She couldn’t imagine how Krista felt, and the strength it must have taken to overcome it. Suddenly she felt her respect for Krista double.

“It’s okay,” Nanaba told her quickly. “I’m just not used to it. I don’t think any differently of you.”

Ymir snorted softly and walked across the room. Nanaba simply watched her, and flinched when Ymir placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “You should really get some rest. I can see how tired you are.” She gave the shoulder a pat, then passed by and lazily walked down the hallway. Nanaba didn’t turn to watch her. She agreed. If only it came that easily.

She at least hoped that Ymir put some clothes on before getting back into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispering* Guys, next chapter has smut ;D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of futanari. I tried my best to not go into too much detail, for those that aren't so into it. Also, smut. You've been warned. 
> 
> There is no playlist for chapter XVIII

**XVIII**

* * *

 

“Krista,” Ymir uttered, voice breathy and wavering. “Are you absolutely sure about this?”

From where Krista stood she nodded. She looked incredibly determined. “I love you, Ymir,” she stated. “And to actually mean that, I need to love _all_ of you.”

“It will scare you.” It wasn’t a warning, or a suggestion. It was the truth.

Krista shrugged. “And the only way to get over my fear is to face it. I won’t run, I promise.”

“If you do run I won’t be upset, you know. I understand that I’m a pretty freaky creature.”

Krista seemed to have enough, and she stomped over to grab Ymir’s face and pull her down until they were level. “Ymir, I want to do this. Get naked and change for me. Please. I need this.”

Ymir could definitely get used to Krista being so assertive. It was really nice. So nice, in fact, that her fever set in again. Maybe changing would be better, because anything in general was easier to handle when in her other form. So Ymir nodded, then signalled for Krista to step as far away as possible. They were outside of the city where no one would see them. This was happening.

“I can do it quickly or slowly, it’s up to you,” Ymir suggested as she fiddled with the buckle of her belt. Krista’s eyes stayed with her hands until she slipped her fingers underneath the waistband of her boxers to slip them downward.

“Slowly, please,” Krista asked. “I want to see every detail of you.”

Ymir barked out a laugh. “Wow, that sounds really perverted.”

“There’s nothing sexual about this!” Krista yelled back, embarrassed. “I just… I want to see how you change, see what you become. I want it to be burned into my memory so when I see it again, I’ll know it.”

Ymir couldn’t help but grin. When she threw her shirt and bra off, she flexed her muscles just to show off. “Alright,” she said. “Ready? Should I twirl around like a model, pose for you?”

Krista rolled her eyes. “Stop being an idiot.”

Ymir laughed again. She was surprised at how calm the both of them were. Her heart still pounded too loudly, as did Krista’s, but she didn’t feel embarrassed or scared. Most of her knew that Krista was being genuine here, that her intentions were kind. She wanted to climb the last of her obstacles. How could Ymir deny that? Besides, Krista couldn’t expect her to just not be a demon, to just never change or do any of the things that came naturally to her. This was as much for Ymir as it was for Krista, and that gave Ymir strength.

She straightened and sobered quickly. Krista watched her with no trace of hesitance. She looked ready, like she was bracing for the worst. So Ymir stretched her limbs once just to prolong it for a second more, then she exhaled, let her muscles relax, and allowed the change to happen.

As promised, it was slow. Ymir kept her eyes on Krista the entire time. It always started with the horns. They broke the skin on her forehead, but it was a mere sting now, not a biting pain. The blood was minimal, too. Then her muscles bulged and expanded, and her limbs grew longer. While her body grew, her skin changed to red, changed from smooth skin to a more leathery variation. Her normal fingernails turned to claws, and her tailbone included an actual tail, which was long and strong, and lazily swept from side to side. Her teeth didn’t change much other than her fangs, and her facial structure stayed the same. The most noticeable change on her face was always the eyes. Her hair grew slightly longer, too, and almost touched her shoulders. Changing regularly always encouraged her nails and hair to grow when she was in her smaller form, which was a serious inconvenience sometimes.

“Do you want to see my wings, too?” Ymir asked. Another noticeable change was her voice, which deepened and became heavier, like she smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. It couldn’t be helped since her larynx grew so large.

Krista looked like she was rooted to the ground. Her hands were clasped together tightly, bleaching her skin of colour. Her blue eyes were very wide as they stared up at Ymir. At least Ymir wasn’t _that_ big, because most of her power had been sealed away. She could still move around alright in a house, if the ceiling wasn’t too low, but most times she went outside to change.

Slowly, Krista nodded. Ymir heard the muscles in her throat move as she swallowed. So far Krista hadn’t fainted, or screamed, or run, which was something. Ymir was impressed with her bravery. The next moment would determine it all.

Without warning Ymir allowed her wings to burst from her back. They were large, black and leathery. Krista flinched at the sound of them, the bones clicking slightly from disuse. Ymir sighed in relief at getting to stretch them, then flapped them hard. Krista covered her face from the harsh blast of air. Ymir took that opportunity to take a step forward.

“So?”

Krista uncovered her face. She was shivering, but there was something odd about her expression. It seemed awed now, interested. The blue of her eyes shone not with fear or disgust. “Amazing,” she breathed. She stepped forward until she was at Ymir’s legs. She just made it to Ymir’s knee, which was adorable.

“I’m going to hurt my neck looking down at you,” Ymir joked.

Krista giggled. “Same for me, since I have to lean all the way back to look at you.” She reached out and ran her hand over the bumpy skin of Ymir’s shin. She sighed. “It’s not… I mean, I know what demons look like, but this is just… so different.”

Ymir snorted and her wings flapped again. Her tail was swishing almost like a dog’s would. She sucked in a breath, then slowly began to shrink until she was just slightly larger than a very tall human. Krista was now at eye level with her stomach, which made the whole ordeal easier.

“How’s this?” Ymir asked.

Krista’s smile was brilliant. “Much better. I feel less like an ant now.”

“And I feel less likely to accidentally step on you,” Ymir laughed.

Krista reacted by slapping Ymir on the stomach, then she was side-tracked into pressing her palms against the hot, leathery skin there. “It’s so warm,” she gasped. “Aren’t you really hot?”

Ymir dropped down without warning. Sitting down, she was now Krista’s height. She smiled. “Always,” she said. “Clothes are really irritating, especially in summer.”

Krista’s eyes wondered to Ymir’s horns. Once again she was distracted, since she immediately reached up, but paused. “May I?”

Ymir smiled even wider. “Go nuts. Touch my tits if you want.”

Krista went bright red, and she glared into Ymir’s eyes for a moment until they both started to laugh. “Not all of you has changed,” she sighed dramatically. She reached up and gently touched the side of Ymir’s horn, surprised by how warm and smooth it was. It was pretty long, and the tip was really sharp. “Can you feel that?”

“Horns are like nails, love. Can’t feel them.”

“That’s so cool.”

“Wanna feel my tail?”

Krista nodded immediately, and she gasped softly when the mentioned limb suddenly appeared around Ymir’s body. Ymir grinned at her again. She was enjoying it, being able to show off like this.

Krista gently stroked the length of Ymir’s tail. Like the rest of her, it was warm, but it was softer. She could feel the muscles shifting under the red skin, and wondered if it was sensitive. When she glanced at Ymir’s demon face, her expression was odd. Her eyes were almost completely black, since the pupils were blown wide open.

“Ymir?” Krista questioned, swallowing. “Are you okay?” Her hand absently wrapped around the tip of Ymir’s tail, and it caused her to shudder.

Ymir laughed. “Let’s just say that if it’s from a certain person, touching my tail can be a little too intimate.”

Krista immediately removed her hands. “Are you being dirty?”

“Hey, you touched my junk, not me.”

Krista sputtered. “J-junk?! It’s a tail! And you offered!”

Ymir’s booming laugh was surprising at first, but Krista grew to like it immediately. She huffed, then dropped onto Ymir, causing her to fall onto her back. Ymir’s body was very, very warm, especially when Krista was completely on top of her.

Ymir took that moment to finally shift back. It was strange, how Krista was suddenly disappointed. Seeing Ymir like this was so interesting. She wanted to see it longer, to touch more of her bumpy skin, to study her dark eyes and the odd horns.

The mission was a success.

“How are you feeling?” Ymir asked softly.

Krista’s face was a nice, deep shade of pink. “A little overwhelmed,” she admitted. She swallowed. “But embarrassed too.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. “Why?”

Krista looked up, caught Ymir’s eyes. They were still on the ground, Krista sprawled out over Ymir’s body. “Ymir, you’re naked.”

Ymir slapped her forehead. “Goddamn, I forget every time. Sorry.”

She gently slid Krista off, then hurried to pull her clothes on. She felt that gaze on her even while she dressed, and turned to look into Krista’s eyes. “So, do you love all of me now?”

Krista nodded slowly. She wrung her hands together. Her lower lip was trembling, though she seemed alright otherwise. There was a strange look on her face, something intense in her eyes that Ymir hadn’t really seen before. It made her swallow, because the next moment that heady scent hit her nose again, and she understood.

“We should go home,” Ymir choked out. Krista bit into her lip, squirmed where she stood, then nodded and headed over to Ymir’s car.

They said nothing on the way back, but they did hold hands. Krista was still deep in thought, still outwardly conflicted. Ymir wondered if Krista was genuinely thinking about… well… stuff. She swallowed. The car ride was hot, comfortable and intense all in one.

XxX

That night Ymir slept over again. Krista had begged her, and Ymir had not the power to say no. She didn’t want to go home, anyway. Her parents knew where she was, and being with Krista took her stress away.

There was so much to make Ymir anxious, though no one really knew about it yet. Since meeting the strange demon council, Ymir had kept the assassination to herself. Her time with Krista had lulled her into a delusional sense of normalcy, that she wasn’t tasked with taking another life.

Krista slept soundly against her. Ymir rested on her side, with Krista’s cheek pressed to her chest, her arms wrapped firmly around Krista’s form.

Ymir liked to stay awake and simply watch her. She enjoyed the peace on Krista’s face, the way her muscles relaxed, how her breath came out easy and even. She lifted a hand to gently touch Krista’s warm cheek. The skin there went pink, as if Krista knew that Ymir was touching her. But then Krista’s expression changed. She pushed away from Ymir, eyebrows pulled together, lips parted as she gasped. She was still asleep, that much was certain. She was still asleep even as she started to scream.

Ymir panicked. She gently shook Krista by the shoulders, eyes wide. “Krista?” she called out. “Krista, what’s wrong?”

Krista thrashed against her, crying out. Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Nanaba,” Krista whimpered out. Finally her eyes snapped open and they immediately went to Ymir’s face. Krista relaxed some, but her chest was heaving and sweat slicked her skin. “I’m sorry,” she gasped out. “I haven’t had a night terror in a while. Didn’t think I’d have one with you here.”

Ymir pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Are you alright though?”

“I will be,” she said. “Just hold me. Nanaba used to do that. It helps.”

Ymir turned onto her back and pulled Krista on top of her. “You get night terrors?”

“They’re not as bad anymore,” Krista answered. “I used to have them every night. I was terrified of going to sleep, of closed doors.”

Ymir’s teeth clenched. “This is all because of what Dante did to you, isn’t it?”

Krista fell silent, so that was answer enough. Ymir decided not to speak again. Krista took a while to unwind her tense muscles and to even her breathing. She shivered against Ymir, and the feel of it made Ymir’s heart clench tightly.

The familiar, bitter taste of bloodlust dusted over her tongue, making her nose scrunch up in disgust.

 _I do not want to kill,_ she told herself. _I’m over that._

But the anger was present, and Ymir couldn’t figure out how to go about everything without new bloodshed on her hands. She had moved past the circumstances of her past, of the lives she had taken. Could she do it again this time, with actual intent? Sure, Dante was causing a lot of issues, but Ymir could somewhat understand. If she detached herself, if she forgot the personal wrongs Dante had done to her, then she agreed. Dante was fighting for a future for them, with whatever means necessary.

_How am I supposed to do this?_

Krista was relaxed again, but not asleep. She drew lazy patterns over the fabric on Ymir’s chest. Eventually, the silence weighed too heavy, and Ymir looked down at the sound of Krista’s voice.

“Ymir? Can I ask something personal?”

All thoughts of Dante vanished. Ymir would sort through them later, at a more appropriate time. “Of course, anything.”

Krista looked away immediately to blush. It was apparent that her question was something that would make them both uncomfortable. Ymir swallowed. “Well, um,” Krista started. Her hand pressed down against Ymir’s chest, and Ymir was sure that she could feel her rapid heartbeat. “I was actually having a nice dream, before the nightmare started.”

“What was it about?”

“You,” Krista stated.

“What about me?”

Krista inhaled loudly. Ymir could _feel_ the warmth of Krista’s blush, and it made her own cheeks redder. Why was she so embarrassed?

“Well, um, we were kind of… well…”

“Mm? You can tell me.” Ymir studied Krista’s face. Her ears were turning pink. She wanted to know why as much as she didn’t.  

“We were being intimate,” Krista blurted. “But the dream was short. The nightmare took over before it got to the good bits.”

Ymir flashed a large, teasing grin. “Having wet dreams about me then?”

“Shut up,” Krista growled in embarrassment. She quickly dropped forward and hid her face against Ymir’s neck. “I can’t help it, okay?”

Ymir laughed, but she wrapped Krista up in her arms. “It’s alright, I have those kinds of dreams too.”

“About me?”

Ymir smiled. “Only you.”

Krista hummed softly, then tentatively pressed a kiss against Ymir’s throat. At the contact a heavy shiver ran through Ymir’s body without her consent. She sucked in a very deep breath.

“K-Krista…”

Krista did it again, then ran her lips higher to kiss the underside of her jaw. Ymir’s heart began to pound, and she found herself pulling Krista harder against her, large hands enclosed around her hips. Heat slipped underneath her flesh, pulsing in her blood.

“What I mean to ask,” Krista uttered softly. She stopped the torment of her kisses and sat up slowly so that she was straddling Ymir. The position didn’t help Ymir’s heat at all, only made it worse. She still had Krista’s hips against her palms. “Is it possible for a human and a demon to have sex?”

Ymir blinked. Krista blushed harder.

“Why do you want to know?” Ymir found herself asking. Her mind ran away from her, imagination conjuring images too sinful to really concentrate on. The heat spread out along her skin, rushing downward until Ymir was sweating, gasping, clutching desperately at Krista.

Krista stilled, exhaled. “Because,” she said. “I want that with you.”

A strange sensation filled Ymir’s body, like her cells were pushing and pulling at each other, not happy with her current state. At Krista’s heady words, Ymir lost the ability to breathe. “Krista…”

Krista pressed her hands to Ymir’s stomach and balled her hands into fists. “After all this time, I want you. Ymir, I need you like that.”

“Tonight?” Ymir choked out. She hadn’t answered yet, she knew that. But she could barely think.

“Yes,” Krista answered. Her face was flushed, but she looked sure of herself. She wanted this. And as long as Ymir didn’t run away, she would get it. But there was so much to say before.

“I-it’s possible,” Ymir pushed out through dry lips. “It’s not dangerous, if you were wondering.”

“So we can do it?”

“I don’t see why not…” _Damnit, Ymir. Shut your mouth. Tell her to wait, it’s too soon. She doesn’t know everything yet. She has to know everything._

Krista smiled and her shoulders slumped in relief. “That makes me so happy,” she confessed. “I was so scared. I never really considered it before, you know. That we might not be able to do something like that.”

“We totally can,” Ymir choked out. She wanted to slap herself, but at the same time she could barely move. Her skin was tingling in a way it never had before, and she felt like some parts of her body were shifting on their own, changing into something else, something new. She had a slight idea as to what was happening, but was too frightened to confirm it just yet.

Krista wasted absolutely no time, as if Ymir’s scrambled words were confirmation enough. She slipped her fingers underneath the hem of her shirt, then slid it up and off of her torso. She threw the shirt to the floor and squared her shoulders.

“Do you want me too, Ymir?” she asked. Her voice was breathy, husky.

Ymir’s eyes widened to saucers as the full view of Krista’s naked breasts hit her. Her heart was slamming against her chest, but she couldn’t stop herself from running her eyes over every inch of perfect, pale skin.

Just like Ymir had imagined, Krista’s breasts were large but perky, with pink nipples. They were already hard, begging for skilled fingertips or a burning tongue. Ymir wanted to oblige, she really did, but Krista was on her suddenly. Soft lips took hold of Ymir’s, and a curious tongue slipped into her mouth. Krista’s hands disappeared downward, and Ymir realized too late that she had just removed her pyjama pants and underwear. They dropped to the floor with a muted thud, but Ymir swore she heard her sanity drop with them.

Krista’s lips were insatiable, burning. They drove her insane. She tasted desire on Krista’s tongue and lost any bit of control. Without hesitating Ymir flipped them over, pressed her pelvis to Krista’s, and then ravished her lips. She couldn’t help but jerk her hips, but then she pulled back with a surprised gasp. Unusual pleasure seared in her lower belly, from between her legs. It felt wrong, out of place. Like there was too much skin feeling pleasure. Krista blinked open, disorientated, clouded by lust and confusion.

“Ymir?”

 _Oh my fucking god…_ Ymir nearly choked on her tongue. She looked between their bodies, to where she was pressed so tightly to Krista. Krista’s legs were wound around her hips, pulling her closer, harder. No doubt Krista could feel it. There was no fucking doubt. No going back.

“Ymir…” Krista whispered. The glaze over her eyes melted ever so slightly, gave way to shock and surprise. “Is that…?”

Ymir couldn’t pull away. She couldn’t exactly move in general, but pulling away was definitely not an option. There Krista was, naked and glorious, panting heavily beneath her, pink with the finest blush. And there Ymir was, above her, against her, somehow sporting an impressive erection even though a few minutes ago she hadn’t had a penis.

Now she did.

“Krista, I think I can explain.” Panic filled her heart, suffocated her lungs. Something twitched in her pants, and it made Ymir’s eyes immediately flick down to Krista’s breasts. They were just… there, and so fucking perfect. Her mind went absolutely blank. Krista gently touched her cheek, and it managed to bring her back.

“Is it a demon thing?”

“I… I think so,” Ymir choked out. She furrowed her brows. “My dad never really explained _this_ part to me, the asshole. I think she did this on purpose.” She clenched her jaws tightly. “She _knew_ this would happen. No wonder those two chortle every time I come home.”

Krista rocked her hips slightly, which caused another wave of enormous pleasure to rush along Ymir’s body. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. “Ymir, I feel something hard… is that…?”

“A dick?” Ymir sputtered. “Yeah, looks like it is. I think.”

“You think?”

This time Ymir was blushing. Krista was still naked. She understood that they were in the motions of getting it on. Her stomach clenched hard at the images that barraged her out of nowhere, from every side. Suddenly all she could see was taking Krista at every position and angle. She had to blink to bring herself back.

“We have to reproduce somehow,” she explained. “Hanji has a theory that humans and demons originated from the same common ancestor, but that humans mutated to form males. We remained our female gender, though we could switch when we need it to.”

Krista’s eyes widened. “C-can you control it?”

“Krista, I didn’t know about this until I actually sprung a dick.” She groaned. Those breasts were staring at her again, judging her. She couldn’t stop staring, and had to bite her tongue to stop herself from just reaching down and—

“Does it, I mean, work like a human one?”

Ymir swallowed. “I have no idea.”

“It doesn’t really bother me,” Krista admitted softly. She was looking down to their pelvises now, where Ymir’s hardness pressed against her. She jerked her hips and shut her eyes tightly. Ymir noted the strong tremor that passed through her body. At least Ymir wasn’t the only horny one.

“Before we go any further,” Ymir spoke. She waited for Krista to open her eyes and look at her. “I need to explain something to you.”

“Okay,” Krista whispered. They probably weren’t in the best position to have such a conversation, but Ymir really couldn’t move. She was inches away from just thrusting her hips like she was already inside, so keeping her muscles still took a lot of focus.

“We have this weird thing, like a heat,” she began. “When we find someone we’re compatible with, we get a natural urge to procreate. Because of my bloodline, I get it more intensely. It’s how the Lucifer bloodline has been passed on all these years despite the danger. My parents couldn’t control it, and they had me. But it’s not just that we want sex. It’s this… how do I explain it?” Ymir chewed on her lip. Krista was staring up at her, still so red in the face, still panting, legs still around Ymir’s waist. “It’s like, I look at you, and I can already picture what our babies would look like.” At the sudden widening of Krista’s eyes, Ymir rushed to continue. “But don’t worry about that! We can’t ever have kids anyway. It’s impossible, because like that, we aren’t compatible.”

“I don’t understand. You said there isn’t any danger, that we could still have normal sex.”

“Well, yeah,” Ymir agreed. “But like, and I’m assuming now based on what’s between my legs right now, that I can’t make you pregnant with this, even if I try.”

“Do you want to?”

Ymir finally unlocked her muscles to shift downwards, to get her throbbing centre away from Krista’s, to press her lips to Krista’s throat. “I do,” she breathed. “So badly that my body aches.”

“But even if you try, nothing will happen?”

Ymir pressed her face into the pillow and nodded. Krista’s face turned, and Ymir felt warm lips at her cheek. “I needed you to know that, before you gave this to me. I know we’re dating again, but children is a big thing for some people. Logically I don’t want them, but my body does. It’s constantly telling me to make babies. Being near you makes it worse, when it’s like this.”

“Ymir…”

“But I won’t ever force you to do anything. This thing… you didn’t know about it before now, so I’ll understand if you don’t actually want to sleep with me.” She lifted herself and peered down at Krista again, though her expression was tormented. “Though how you’ll get me off of you, I really don’t know. I can barely think straight right now.”

Krista’s brows were scrunched together, but she didn’t seem too shocked. She nibbled on her lip for a moment, then her face brightened. “So the gist of it is even if we have sex tonight, with your penis, with no protection, there’s no danger?”

Ymir throbbed again. Her skin became warmer and she was sure that if she didn’t do something quickly, her pants would break open. She swallowed. “Basically,” she said, shuddering. “But are you okay with that?”

“It’s a lot to take in,” Krista told her. “And I think that tomorrow we should talk about it.”

“Tomorrow?”

Krista reached down between them, slipping a small hand into the front of Ymir’s boxers. It was so unexpected, especially when Krista’s fingers enclosed around her hard length and it sent heat and arousal so strongly through Ymir that she collapsed.

“Oh sweet Jesus,” she groaned, fisting the sheets. “I can’t even describe how powerful this feeling is.”

Most of Ymir’s weight was on the bed, not her body, so Krista still had space to move her hand. Ymir clenched her teeth too hard when Krista gave her a lazy stroke, then sucked in a deep breath. The heady scent of Krista’s arousal—that had already been burning Ymir’s nose in the most pleasant way—became stronger, deeper. The call was too strong, and Ymir couldn’t resist it anymore.

“Wait,” she spoke out loud to herself. “There’s just one more thing, Krista, before we go somewhere we can’t return.”

Krista pouted. It was adorable, considering the circumstances. Ymir chuckled lightly through the haze in her mind. Krista really wanted this. Despite the fact that she was a demon, that they couldn’t actually have kids, that she had a dick thanks to her weird demon DNA, she still wanted her. _A lot,_ apparently.

“I’m a murderer,” Ymir blurted firstly. She shut her eyes tightly and wondered how the mood hadn’t been shattered minutes go. “That much you know, right? I have killed people.”

Krista nodded slowly. The pout was gone, and she looked serious again. “I remember,” she said. “But I also remember that you had no control. Ymir, you didn’t kill them intentionally.”

Ymir groaned so deeply that it startled them both. She leaned down and kissed her, unable to stop. Krista merely went with it and wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck, pulling her down. She must have thought that the conversation was somewhat over, because her hand went downwards again and Krista moved her boxers aside until she sprung free. Ymir had to pull away from Krista’s lips and tongue so that she could continue, otherwise she would completely forget why she needed to hold back in the first place.

“That wasn’t all,” she gasped out.

“Ymir,” Krista whined. Her brows were scrunched together and her gaze was frustrated. From the way her pale skin flushed pink and the way her chest heaved, Ymir could tell that Krista was almost more worked up than she was. She couldn’t help but grin in amusement.

“Sorry, I know you wanna get to the good bits,” she joked.

Krista laughed loudly. “Ymir, please. I’ve been waiting years for this.”

“Years, huh?”

Krista nodded. She lifted a hand to cup Ymir’s jaw, and then she pressed in close to kiss her on the lips. Ymir was overwhelmed again, and she couldn’t remember what she wanted to talk about. It was right there, somewhere on her mind, at the tip of her tongue, but Krista’s kiss stole her thoughts away. With tremendous effort Ymir finally remembered the importance of what she needed to say, so she pinned Krista down a little roughly and panted for air.

“We can talk about it tomorrow,” she gasped out finally. “I just really need you to know. Now isn’t the time. But tomorrow, I’ll tell you. When I do, that’ll be everything. Then you’ll really know everything of me.”

Krista seemed comically relieved that Ymir decided to put the conversation off. So she showed it by taking Ymir’s shirt off, and then she worked hurriedly to tug at her boxers. Ymir beat her to it by ripping them clean off. Krista merely blinked, surprised, and then she sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and her eyes darted up to Ymir’s face.

“It looks the same,” she whispered.

Ymir was almost too scared to look, but she couldn’t help it. She had to bite back a snort and a gasp when she did. Krista was right, it looked like a regular dick. Though it was insanely hard, with veins bulging along its flesh, and the tip was an angry red, already dripping wetness down the shaft. Seeing it like this made it real.

“Are you sure about this?” Ymir asked nervously. “I mean… You didn’t sign up for this.” Ymir didn’t mean it. She said it for Krista’s sake, to make sure that she was absolutely sure before they did this. She wasn’t sure how well _this_ would go, but she was so eager to find out.

“Ymir,” Krista groaned. “I signed up for you, and if this is you, then I want it too.”

Ymir smiled. She knew Krista would say that, but she was still relieved to hear it. To be accepted so fully, without worry or restraint, was amazing. Her chest filled with unbelievable warmth, and for a long moment Ymir could feel nothing but the love she had for Krista, the love that was always there, growing day and night. It consumed her, owned her, and then she owned it and took a deep breath.

Their next kiss was slow. They were both naked and sweating, and the air around them was hot and stifling, but Ymir wanted to take it slow. She wanted to feel every touch burn her skin, mark her in a way nothing ever had. She wanted to experience Krista’s pleasure in the most open way she could—every gasp, every shudder, and every clench of her muscles.

Ymir wanted all of it.

“What do you want me to do?” Ymir questioned. She wasn’t entirely sure where to start, what Krista would prefer.

“Just kiss me,” Krista answered. “We’ll go from there.”

Ymir’s lips first brushed the warm, soft skin of Krista’s cheek. She inhaled shakily, smiling at the way Krista was pulling her down against her, clutching at her back. “How do you want to come first?” she asked softly, despite her own embarrassment of the words. She needed to ask, to know, so that she could do, could give.

Krista sucked in a breath. Her hips moved again, and Ymir shifted to look at her face. She very much enjoyed the way Krista nibbled on her lip in deep thought, and then when her teeth went deeper when she seemed to have come to a conclusion. Her small body shuddered.

“Inside.”

Ymir swallowed. “You mean…?”

She nodded, face determined.

“I mean, you don’t want me to first go do—”

“Ymir,” Krista snapped. She tightened the grip her thighs had against Ymir’s sides, then lifted a blonde brow. “Take my virginity right now or I swear to god…”

Ymir felt a sharp wave of desire pass through her at Krista tone, at the desperate, stern look on her face and the way her body shuddered with every breath. What else could she do but comply?

It took time, and the gentlest of touches, but eventually they were one. Ymir clutched desperately at the sheets beside Krista, worried that she would lose control and hurt her. She pressed her lips to Krista’s throat, revelled in the sensation of being wrapped up in her, consumed by her entirely.

“Ymir,” Krista gasped, legs wound around her, tugging her deeper, fuller, making sure she could not get away. Like this, Krista the most strength. Like this, what Krista wanted was hers. Everything. Anything. Ymir was all too happy to give it to her in any way she could.  

“Am I hurting you?” Ymir gasped out, desperate to move but still too scared to. It was clear that Krista hadn’t done this before. Definitely not _this_ , if she had done anything at all.

“Not hurting, just discomfort.”

Ymir shifted ever so slowly to peer at her face. “Are you okay?” She lifted her hand, brushed a few locks of hair stuck against Krista’s cheek, wound them behind her small, pink ear.

“Perfect.”

Krista lifted a hand and pressed their palms together. She marvelled quietly at the difference in size, blue eyes wide with innocence, distracted for the slightest of seconds. But then Ymir’s body gave in, and she pressed down to kiss her, to consume her too, as much as she could. Krista quickly clutched at her hand, sought the other one out, too. She held onto her tightly, moaned onto her tongue. Ymir’s heart fluttered like a wild butterfly. She could hardly believe this was happening.

She rocked into Krista slowly at first. So gentle that Krista eventually had to huff and plead for her to go faster, harder. Ymir still made sure that her motions were careful, though her control was quickly slipping. The bed creaked and groaned, Krista gasped each time their skin slapped together. Ymir felt like she was burning—melting inside and out, seeping out and into Krista, becoming her, filling her.

Krista groaned her name, arched into her, moved into each powerful thrust. She didn’t seem to mind that Ymir’s eyes had fully changed, that she was fighting the urge to shift with every cell in her body, that her grunts were becoming less human, more frantic. She seemed to enjoy it, the way she clutched and shuddered and groaned. She was warm and wet and so alive, so beautiful.

“Ymir,” Krista gasped. Her hips were bucking wildly now, in no rhythm with Ymir. They both seemed too lost in each other, in the fire dancing along their skin, the heat in their blood. Ymir wondered if it was as intense for Krista, too. If she felt like this moment was her beginning and her end, her everything in between. As if she had waited through every short breath until this one moment, where they finally gave in to each other, delved into each other.

“I love you,” Ymir gasped out. Her voice was wrong—scratchy, too deep, laboured. She hoped it didn’t scare Krista.

It didn’t. Krista’s hands left hers quickly, but they reappeared against her back. Ymir inhaled sharply when Krista’s nails suddenly raked harshly down her skin, no doubt leaving angry, red marks. The surprise mixed in greatly with arousal, which peaked even higher and made her hips jerk hard. She groaned deeply in her throat, surprised herself at the animalistic quality to the sound. Krista responded by scratching her again, all the way down until she dug her nails in at Ymir’s lower back and pushed, forcing her into faster motion.

Everything ended quickly, beautifully. Ymir never expected it to happen that way. She was panting, frantic, and then she was coming, releasing everything she had into Krista, hoping with everything she was that this would result in a  new life even though at the back of her mind, she knew—with relief—that it wouldn’t. Behind her eyelids she saw Krista’s mouth hanging open in pleasure as she shuddered and came, too, and then in the next breath she saw Krista’s swollen belly, carrying something it couldn’t. Tears prickled her eyes, her breath caught harshly in her chest, and then without warning her wings burst free from her back and flapped once, hard.

It was enough to surprise Krista. Her eyes widened and shot to Ymir’s, curious. “Ymir,” she panted. “Did you just release your wings?”

Ymir came back to herself slowly, wings stretched almost too far from her body. She groaned when they ached, and then she collapsed when her release ended and she had nothing left to give. Her wings draped over them like a blanket, warm and soft. Ymir nuzzled against Krista’s neck, laughing.

“That and something else, too,” she said.

Krista gasped softly. “But _why?_ ”

Pleasure still rippled through her, so it took a moment before she could properly respond. When she could, she allowed her wings to disappear before rolling off of Krista, spent.

“A demon thing?”

Krista curled up against her

“Yeah,” Ymir breathed, smiling. “A demon thing.” She felt a soft kiss against the underside of her jaw, so she turned to return the kiss on Krista’s lips. It was slow, lazy and satisfying, and when they pulled apart they merely rested their foreheads together. “We should talk…”

Krista sighed. “Tomorrow, Ymir. For now let’s just recover.”

“Recover?”

A small hand wondered to her stomach, fingertips stroking the skin there. Luckily, Ymir’s additional content from earlier had vanished, and she felt a little more in control now. But there was no telling what might happen again, if there was an again.

Krista hummed softly. She snuggled closer, cheek pressing to Ymir’s shoulder. “I’m not even close to done with you.”

Ymir felt her eyes flash warmly with an attempted change. Her shoulders tingled, wanting her wings to break free. So she let her tail out instead, and grinned when Krista gasped in surprise. It swished about beside her, then she lifted it to wrap around their waists. Krista immediately pressed her hand against it to stroke the warm, leathery skin.

“We really do need to talk though,” Ymir insisted.

Krista smiled up at her. “We will,” she agreed. “But not tonight.”

Ymir gulped. “Right.” She paused. “Guess this was a long time coming, huh?” She couldn’t help but flash a cheeky grin.

Krista straddled her immediately, with that same stern look on her face. “A long, long time Ymir,” she breathed. Her body flushed again, and Ymir caught the sound of her pumping heartbeat. “A very long time coming.”

The grin she flashed next was far too sinful for Ymir to believe, but it was there, and it was glorious. Ymir could only bow to it. Again. And again. And then, again.


	19. Chapter 19

**XIX**

* * *

 

Booted feet thudded loudly against the polished tile floor. The hallway was spacious and empty, allowing the footfalls to bounce against the walls and ceiling. Demons stood stiffly on guard, so many that it made one wonder why they needed to be there.

The council could protect themselves.

The large doors swept open seconds before the footsteps paused before them, and then within, a low growl vibrated through the air.

“Atlas,” one of them growled.

“Enter, now.”

“Why do you stand there and gape?”

Atlas lifted a red eyebrow but smirked despite herself, despite the way her stomach tightened in the most uncomfortable way. She was sure her green eyes were flashing with her upset, but she quickly lowered her gaze to hide it, and swept her chin length red hair to the side.

“I came as soon as I was summoned, Lord Demons.”

There was the sound of a seat scraping against the floor, and then from the darkness the High demon stepped down.

“High demon,” Atlas bowed her head in respect. Those eyes pinned Atlas where she stood, seared right through her and all she could do was swallow. She was about to ask a question, but then something thunked against her boot and she gazed down.

“Photographs,” the High demon explained. “Look at them.”

Atlas furrowed her brows and obeyed. She was confused at the faces staring up at her. Her stomach rolled, and she knew that this wouldn’t be pleasant. “What is it you want me to do?”

The High demon had disappeared into the darkness again, retaking her spot beside the others. “We have a special assignment for you,” she explained. “We have come to an agreement.”

“As a collective,” one of the other demons, to the far right, began to speak. Her voice was lighter than the High demon’s, but it was dustier. “We have come to one simple decision.”

“Anonymity is no longer viable for us,” a second one spoke. Her voice was much deeper than the rest, and her eyes were almost severe, as if she had seen timeless war, endless death. “We will seize this opportunity Dante has given us.”

“Seize it?” Atlas asked, confused. “I thought this would lead to war.”

“That is true,” a third, almost kinder sounding demon interjected. “As we speak, humans are hunting us. Some are angry, though some are merely curious. Various protests have been held. On one side, to exile us, on the other, to welcome us.”

“As an intelligent race, we must step out and announce ourselves.”

“We have been the puppeteers for too long.”

“It is time we enjoy the society we have created.”

“Live openly, unafraid.”

“With power.”

Atlas could no longer tell them apart. The voices echoed around her, bouncing from right to left. Her heart was thudding, as it should have. No doubt this was a stark moment in history, one that would change everything for them, and for the humans. Atlas was unsure of her desire to be part of it, though she knew she had no real choice. She did as the council beckoned her, but her work had always been in the dark, swept up in the shadows.

The curtains bellowed all around them, and servants Atlas hadn’t noticed whisked them open. Bright, harsh light spilled in and illuminated the room. Though those curtains had never been opened, there was not a speck of dust in the air. Atlas blinked, and then sucked in a breath, awed.

The entire council was laid bare for her to see. She had only ever seen the High demon’s face, and even then, she didn’t know her name. But now she could see them, in all their power and glory. They were exceptionally beautiful, their age so far from their looks. Atlas felt herself flush, and she dropped down to one knee immediately, bowed so low she could have licked her own boot.

“Look at us, Atlas,” one of them spoke. When Atlas gazed upwards, she noted it was the one to the far left. “You may call me Alastor.” Her hair was black and thick, curling down to her waist. Her pale, creamy skin held not one blemish or mark. Her lips were full and red, and the teeth beyond were sharp when she smirked. It was obvious that she enjoyed Atlas’ admiration, more so than she should have. In the dark, her voice had sounded stern, but now, seeing her expression, Atlas knew she was not. She angled her body so that her cleavage nearly fell from her dress, but it was all so purposeful. Atlas swallowed hard.

“I am Dameal,” the one beside Alastor spoke. She was just as stunning, but in a more handsome way. She had scars across her nose, cheeks and jaw. Her eyes were even harsher now that Atlas could see her sharp, angular features. Her long, blonde hair had been swept up in a tight ponytail, leaving not one strand in her face. She sat stiffly, back straight, with her hands clasped and pressed to the table.

“You might have heard of me,” the third spoke. “I am Kasdeya.”

Atlas nodded. “The fifth Satan.”

All of them chuckled, and Kasdeya allowed a tiny smirk. She seemed the most entertained.

“For a reason,” she explained. “Do not cross me, and you will never have to know of it.” She had chin length brown hair, and glasses perched atop her nose. She didn’t need them, but she seemed to enjoy how they appeared on her. For a moment her red eyes gave way to dark brown, but Atlas was unsure if she had really seen it.

“Shiva,” the fourth demon announced firmly. Her gaze made Atlas unsteady, suddenly afraid. “I am not as easily amused as my sisters.” They all glanced her way, but they seemed to sigh in annoyance. Shiva, like Atlas, had bright red hair. Closer to the scarlet of blood, than the orange of fire. She had it cut short, enough that the fringe barely brushed her eyebrows, but that her neck was clear. She was leaning back in the seat, arms crossed over her chest, one leg propped up on the other. She was by far, amongst them all, the most muscular.

“And I am Lilith,” the High demon announced, pleased. She stood, gestured to the others. “We have revealed ourselves to you, in all our honesty, to request your aid.”

Atlas was reminded of the special mission mentioned earlier. She tried to climb back onto her feet, but couldn’t. Instead, she merely nodded and waited.

“By the end of the week, we as a council will meet with a human council. We will make our requests, and hold a public meeting to be aired worldwide. On there, we will reveal that Dante is our enemy, to all demon kind. We will spite her name and damn her history. With this, we play sympathy with the humans. We will request that they give us land and democracy. And then…” she trailed off, and then the others all stood, imposing. It was nothing like Atlas had ever seen. All of them, standing there together, was like staring at the very face of god.

“And then your mission comes in, Atlas,” Kasdeya added.

“What can I do for you?”

Lilith smiled. She knew Atlas would forever be loyal. “One simple thing,” she said. “And once it is done, our negotiations will be completed, and demons will have real purchase in this world.”

Atlas nodded. “I will do it.”

Lilith’s smile grew, but there was an odd nervousness to it. She quickly hid it, and then she beckoned Atlas closer. Atlas scrambled over to them and stood straight. A soft, warm hand pressed to Atlas’ cheek, comforting her. And then Lilith’s next words made her heart nearly stop.

“Kill the Lucifer-born.”

XxX

Dante opened her eyes slowly to the ceiling fan whirring about, washing cold air over her exposed chest. She sucked in a breath and wiped the sweat from her brow. It was morning, now, and she wasn’t entirely sure how much sleep she had gotten, if any at all. It was light when she had retired to bed, and it was light now, as she woke.

“Bad dreams?”

Dante turned sharply, then breathed a sigh of relief when it was only Aleksandr. Since Damian had revealed herself, Dante had found Aleksandr at her side more than usual.

“No,” Dante snapped. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and reached for her gown that lay on the floor. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“You wake up a sweaty mess.” Aleksandr’s blue eyes were harsh and piercing, too much for Dante to handle so early in the morning. The TV was on in the lounge, blaring useless noise.

 _“And for our hot topic of the week: An apparent demon council have contacted our studio and asked to speak with us. Apparently they have a few requests,”_ the news reported announced. Her face was alight with excitement.

 _“What do you think they could possibly want?”_ another asked, his voice layered with disbelief.

Dante scoffed and switched the damn TV off. “The council, huh?” she muttered.

“I heard whispers that they revealed themselves,” Aleksandr reported. “We’ve also seen movement from Atlas.”

Dante went over to the balcony door and slipped it open. The noise of cars and pedestrians streamed in as well as the early morning air. Dante sighed. “It’s about damn time,” she said. “And if Atlas is on the move, then it’s begun.”

Aleksandr rolled her eyes. “I really think we could have resolved this situation a long time ago, Dante. Had you not allowed those humans to escape.”

Dante allowed a tiny smirk. “Perhaps,” she said. “But I am my father’s daughter.”

“And that makes you what, stupid?”

“No, Alek,” Dante drawled, looking over her shoulder with a gaze that clearly meant she wasn’t amused. “Dramatic.”

Aleksandr studied her and didn’t offer a direct response. Her posture was straight, stiff, and she looked uncomfortable, as if she had something she desperately wanted to say.

“What is it?”

“Allow me to gather our army,” Aleksandr blurted. “If the council want to speak with the humans, then that means they are going to manipulate the situation. Most likely they’ll make us out to be the enemies of mankind, and of them.”

Dante shrugged. She shut her eyes and felt the breeze touch her skin. It was nice, pleasant. “So what if we play the bad guys?” she offered. “At least we change the world.”

“I thought our main goal was to secure sanctuary for us, for you. Don’t you want power over the humans?”

Dante shook her head. “No.”

“Then what has been the point of all our fighting? Of chasing after the Lucifer born?”

“Aleksandr, there is one thing my father taught me very well before I murdered her with my own hands. It’s that,” she turned, leaning backwards against the balcony, “nothing is ever as it seems, and if you take things as they are, then you are blind even when you are not.”

“That makes no sense.”

Dante wiped a hand over her face and barked out a laugh. “Nothing ever does. But soon it will.” Her phone rang from where it sat on the bedside table, and Dante strode carefully over to retrieve it. “Hello?”

“Dante?”

Aleksandr’s eyes narrowed and Dante grinned. “Leave me,” she told Aleksandr. She didn’t speak to the caller until she was sure Aleksandr could no longer hear her, and then she smiled. “Out of everyone, I did not expect to get a call from _you_.”

“And I didn’t expect to be the one calling, either,” they said, clearly displeased. “But I want to see you.”

“See me?”

“We need to talk.”

“You saw the news then? Or heard the truth?”

“I heard a version of it. I think it’s only fair that meet with me.”

“Fair?”

“For what you did, or tried to do.”

Dante chewed on her lip, deliberating. Then she chuckled. “Okay. Where and when?”

They told her the details and then swiftly hung up. Dante took her time getting ready, all the while wondering how this meeting would go, and what would become of it.

This was quite the surprise.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for smut chapter! This whole thing is basically just morning sex, with some plot at the end.

**XX**

* * *

 

The pale contours of Krista’s abdomen glistened lightly with sweat, muscles bunching up and tensing as she quivered and shook. Krista let her head drop to the side, parted her lips to gasp and moan. Her fingers threaded through the warm fabric of the sheets underneath her, bunching it up into her fists when she jerked, groaning loudly, and lifted her hips from the mattress. Liquid heat pooled between her legs, meeting the skilful tongue working her so thoroughly.

Ymir moaned softly, and the warmth from her mouth washed over Krista’s quivering flesh. She abandoned the sheets to run her hands through Ymir’s hair, tugging gently in encouragement, moving her hips against Ymir’s mouth. Her tongue swept over her swollen clit, slowly and with purpose, making the heat in Krista’s body burn even hotter.

“Ymir,” Krista moaned.

Moments ago she had been asleep. She’d woken to the fluttery sensation of lips at her eyelids, her cheeks and so very softly on her lips. Then those kisses travelled downwards until her thighs were nudged apart and Ymir settled there.

“Moan for me,” Ymir groaned up at her. Krista looked down and caught her gaze. Her stomach clenched again at the sight before her. Ymir’s mouth was wrapped around her, her tongue moving so exquisitely, and her skin was slick with Krista’s arousal. Even her own thighs were wet, making Krista wonder if she hadn’t perhaps started this herself from having a wet dream.

“This is… a pleasant way to wake up,” she panted, canting her hips and grinding down when Ymir moved her tongue to suckle on her clit instead. She hummed in delight, sending pleasant vibrations right through Krista’s body. “Oh god.”

Ymir unwound her lips with a grip, licked them slowly. “You woke _me_ with this,” she growled playfully. “I had no choice but to taste you.”

Never in a million years had Krista ever expected to hear Ymir say something like that to her. During school Krista had often fantasized about it, with a hand in her panties. She had always imagined riding Ymir’s face, feeling Ymir’s tongue inside of her, those lips drinking her up. She cried out loudly, so close to climax that her legs began to shake.

Ymir dipped lower with her tongue, stroking lazily like she had all the time in the world. When Krista huffed and tightened her grip on her hair, Ymir laughed softly.

“Do you want my tongue inside of you?” she asked. She pulled away completely and pressed her cheek to Krista’s thigh, licking her lips. Krista could see her own wetness, her own swollen lips and throbbing clit. It was almost shameful, so it send a sinful wave of arousal through her.

“ _Yes,_ ” she hissed. “Now.”

Ymir’s gaze darkened. The edges began to tinge black and red, and the foggy colour slowly crept over the whites of her eyes to her irises. Krista found it thrilling, and lost herself in that gaze as Ymir pulled her legs over her shoulders, settled down firmly, and then went back to work. Her tongue teased at her entrance first, tasted her wetness there, and finally slid inside slowly. Ymir’s right hand travelled around her hip, caressing the skin by her pelvis all the way down until she could rub her thumb over Krista’s clit in slow, calculated circles.

Krista’s body tensed and she sucked in a large, needy breath. “Oh yes,” she moaned. “Just like that.”

Ymir worked expertly. She timed each thrust of her tongue to match every swipe of her thump, sending wave after wave of wet, crushing heat through Krista’s body. Krista’s moans became louder and more frantic, and she completely lost her grip on Ymir’s hair for fear that she would yank it out. But Ymir was strong, and she held her perfectly still against the mattress as she worked her higher and harder, and finally, with one last caress of her thumb, Krista was coming.

“Ymir!” she screamed, back off the bed, wetness streaming down her thighs. Ymir groaned against her, accepting everything Krista had until the tremors stopped and she dropped down, sweaty and spent. “Oh my god.”

Ymir remained where she was, but gently removed Krista’s legs from her shoulders. She kissed her lightly on the thighs and up along her abdomen until she was hovering over her, grinning. “Good morning,” she said.

Krista rolled her eyes. “Smug asshole.”

Ymir rolled them over and pressed Krista’s thighs to her hips once she was on her back. Krista’s wetness smeared across her skin, but she didn’t seem to mind. “You weren’t complaining after that loud orgasm you had.”

Krista sat up, pretending to frown. “You could have made me come quicker. I’m not impressed.”

Ymir played along. “But I tried so hard…” She pouted. “And you tasted so good, I wanted it to last.”

Heat blossomed between Krista’s legs again, where she still throbbed and ached from her release. She wasn’t sure if she was completely satisfied or not at all. Ymir was powerful beneath her, but tensed. Her muscles stood out starkly against her damp, brown skin. The arousal rolled off of her in waves, enough that even Krista felt effected by it. Of course Ymir had focused on her pleasure only.

“I didn’t realize you were this insatiable,” Krista told her playfully. She leaned in, bit down on Ymir’s lower lip before drawing her in for a deep, hot kiss. “I kinda like it.”

“Well, my virgin-self had no idea how good sex with you would be.”

“And you’re fully aware now?”

Krista swept her tongue along Ymir’s lower lip, drawing a deep moan from within her chest. “Yes,” she panted. “Oh yes.”

It was wondrous, to see Ymir look so hungry and out of control. Her chest heaved with heavy breaths and her cheeks were darkened to red. When Krista lightly caressed Ymir’s thigh with her fingertips, she found wetness there.

“No extra bits today?” she asked casually. Since their first time, Ymir’s penis hadn’t reappeared. Krista wasn’t sure how disappointed she was, if at all. It had been amazing, to feel Ymir stretch her so much, fill her completely.

Ymir whimpered. “I don’t know. I can’t control it.”

That would have to do, then. Krista moved a little lower to straddled Ymir’s thigh, and swept her fingertip over Ymir’s clit. It was large—almost like it was desperately trying to grow into something else—and throbbing. With every little touch, Ymir whimpered.

“You’re really sensitive,” Krista observed softly. She couldn’t stop watching the motions of her hand, the way every touch made Ymir wetter. “What do you want me to do?”

Ymir whimpered again. Her eyes closed and her forehead creased. She took a long while simply thinking, considering. Finally her eyes flashed open, and they were dark and molten with desire.

“I want your fingers,” she announced breathily.

They hadn’t done that yet. Krista blinked. The breath left her lungs quickly, and then rushed back as panting breaths. Krista swallowed the dryness from her mouth, stared down at their bodies to figure out what exactly she wanted to do. Ymir shifted slightly, pressing her thigh up against Krista’s heated core, and Krista moaned around an idea.

“Stay still,” she said softly, biting her lip. Ymir nodded and obeyed. She relaxed completely, allowed Krista to move into whatever position she had thought of.

Krista scooted closer, still straddling Ymir’s thigh, but dipped her hand lower and used two fingers to tease Ymir’s opening. Ymir tensed at first, then relaxed with an exhale. Krista slid inside slowly, groaning as she felt the velvety heat of Ymir’s walls clamp down around her fingers, draw her in. When she was in until the knuckle, Krista moved all the way forward so that the only thing separating their bodies was her hand, her fingers inside of Ymir.

“Is this okay?” Krista asked softly.

Ymir nodded. She was biting her lip. “You feel amazing.”

She smiled gently at Ymir, grateful for the encouragement. Krista pressed her free hand down on Ymir’s abdomen, and then she moved her hips, drawing her fingers back with her body as if they were attached to her. Ymir shuddered, and then gasped when Krista thrust forward and her fingers slid right back in. Krista groaned as well, from the friction against her own aching need.

It was a little awkward at first, since Krista wasn’t accustomed to moving her hips so, but she adapted very quickly. Especially when Ymir began to moan and her eyes fluttered closed. She rocked back into Krista, meeting her for every slow, hard thrust. Ymir clutched at the pillow underneath her head, almost ripping the fabric in her pleasure.

From her position straddling Ymir’s hips, rocking into her, Krista could watch everything. She hardly focused on her own pleasure, and instead enjoyed Ymir’s. The way her stomach clenched, how her face contorted, how her teeth sunk into her lower lip, biting down around a horny moan. Krista knew the moment Ymir came. The walls around her fingers fluttered, tightened until she could hardly move, and heat washed all around them. Ymir’s body curled and she went still, eyes squeezed shut, fingers officially shredding holes through the entire pillow. When she finally relaxed Krista pulled out of her, slow and careful, and slid upwards to lay against her side.

“You’re beautiful when you come,” she told her softly, kissing Ymir underneath the jaw.

Ymir scoffed, but she sighed in content. “That was amazing. I didn’t know you could move your hips like that.”

Krista kissed Ymir again. “There are still plenty more things I’d like to try on you, Ymir.”

Ymir laughed. “I do hope so. I’m so tired now.”

Krista tried not to feel too smug, but failed. She shivered when Ymir’s hand closed around her hip, pressed the front of their bodies closer together. “I thought you’re tired,” she playfully enquired.

Ymir brushed their noses. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Krista did, with her arms wrapped around Ymir’s neck. It was a languid kiss, unhurried and flaming. She was still aching from both exertion and arousal, but felt sated enough to simply enjoy the taste of Ymir’s lips, without trying to prompt her to move again. Eventually, though, they pulled apart, and Ymir sat up with a sigh.

“I need to call my parents,” she said. “They know I came home with you, but they don’t know if I’m safe.” She reached for her pants on the floor and fished around in the pocket for her phone.

Krista curled around Ymir’s back, kissed her softly on the neck. “Will you be back soon?”

Ymir turned slightly to bump their foreheads. “Stop being so horny.”

“But how?” Krista groaned. “When I’ve got memories of what that tongue feels like inside of me?”

Ymir shuddered. “God, I want to take you again. Don’t do this to me.”

Krista relented with a laugh, and allowed Ymir to dress herself and clean up in the bathroom. She wasn’t as inclined to do the same as yet, so she stayed in bed and simply watched. When Ymir was done, she skipped over to the bed to give her a kiss.

“Krista, I love you. Last night was amazing.”

Krista hummed in happiness. “It was. And thank you for talking to me, about everything.”

Ymir nodded. “I had to,” she explained. “I’m done keeping secrets from you.” She kissed her one more time, and then left the room to let herself out.

Krista watched Ymir go, the smile gone from her face. Without Ymir’s presence, the reality of the situation crashed down on her. It had been all too easy to wake to Ymir’s tongue and lips, to forget everything they had spoken about right before succumbing to sleep. She had done so—with glee. But now she had no choice but to think everything over.

Ymir had told her that the council wanted her to kill Dante. She was torn up over it, and she feared that in retaliation Dante would target Krista again. That was a very real possibility, and Krista had every right not to want to be involved. But after finally accepting Ymir again, after sharing such an intimate night with her, Krista wasn’t sure she could stay away at all. Ymir wanted her to, at least until the entire matter was over.

If there was anything Krista could do, at all, to relieve Ymir’s burdens or to help in the situation, she would do it. She when she switched the TV on and saw the first broadcast of the council on the news, speaking about Dante, she made her decision.

Krista picked up her phone.


	21. Chapter 21

**XXI**

* * *

 

There was a definite bounce in Ymir’s step as she walked down the street from Krista’s place. Her body felt more relaxed than it had ever been. Similarly, her mind was calmer and clearer. She sighed, grinning to herself.

Ymir finally dialled her father’s number and pressed the phone to her ear, stomach fluttering. No doubt they would know immediately. Parents were weird like that, and Ymir wasn’t looking forward to the intense teasing she would receive. However, her father didn’t seem to be near her phone, because it continued to ring with no answer. Ymir tried her mother, then the temporary house phone. This was strange. She sent Hanji a quick text with her worries, and then took off running down the road.

The closer she got, the tighter her stomach pulled. Her every instinct screamed for her to take on her demon form, but she resisted the urge because she was still out in the open. Eventually though, she gave up due to impatience and swept off into the sky with her wings. She landed with a hard thud on their front porch, and then barged through the front door. It slipped open quickly, the hinges broken. Ymir’s stomach rolled heavily.

“Mom?!” she called out, frantic. “Dad?!”

The stench of blood hit her nose then, making her stand frozen by the door. Her hand tightened on the doorframe, splintering and tearing a chunk out of the wood.

“Dad?” she called out again, a little weakly.

Something dropped heavily down the hallway, and Ymir hurried that way without much thought. Her heart dropped right into her stomach when she found Amir sprawled out on her side, back to Ymir, in a pool of crimson blood.

“Dad!” Her shout rang heavily around them, bouncing against the walls back to Ymir’s roaring ears. She dropped by Amir’s side, too scared to touch her but desperate to know if she was okay. To her utter relief, Amir rolled over. Her breaths were low and shallow, but they were there. She was also deathly pale, and seemed to be hanging on a thread.

“Ymir,” Amir choked out, shuddering. She swallowed, licked her lips and blinked. “Y-your mother…”

Ymir felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She decided to ignore it, but realized that it might be Hanji, so she quickly pulled it out. She also wrapped Amir up in her arms, not caring of the drying, sticky blood. From the blood caked to Amir’s stomach, Ymir knew the wound was there. As she pressed ‘answer call’, she shakily peeled Amir’s shirt to assess the damage.

The wound wasn’t too deep, but it was still serious. Ymir sighed in relief as Amir stuttered for breath, but her muscles froze when whoever was on the phone spoke in greeting.

“I trust you found my little present to you?”

Ymir didn’t recognize the voice at all. From the pitch she could immediately tell two things, it was a woman, and she was a demon. Ymir’s arm tightened around her parent and her horns split from her forehead, dripping blood down her inflamed skin.

“Where did you take my mother?”

They laughed. “Now Ymir, I’m obviously going to tell you. Don’t you know how these hostage things work? I stab your dad in the stomach, kidnap your mom, then give you her location so I can stab you, too.”

Ymir’s jaw clenched. Her mind swam with vulgar insults, but she kept them at bay, because Amir was clutching at her, offering a small measure of comfort even when she herself needed the comfort most.

“They came a little while ago,” Amir panted softly. “I didn’t expect them. They weren’t…” she coughed. “Weren’t Dante’s people. Just hired thugs. They got me down, stabbed me and knocked me out. When I woke, I couldn’t move and your mother was gone.”

Ymir’s heart was pounding. She felt her demon blood pulsing hotly underneath her skin, and knew that her human skin wasn’t strong enough to keep her fury at bay. She nearly shattered the phone in her grip, but retained enough control to respond to the stranger.

“Why are you doing this?”

“The Lucifer bloodline should never have continued,” they responded. All traces of amusement was gone. “I was given a task. Kill you. That’s it. Now, I’ll text the location to you. I’d advise that you hurry.” They ended the call, leaving Ymir trembling and breathing heavily where she crouched. There was a loud, metal crunch as the phone gave way and crumbled in her palm.

“Go,” Amir choked out. “Save your mom. I… believe in you.” She tried to grin, but her lips were too dry, she was too out of breath.

Ymir nodded, but she quietly lifted Amir into her arms. She carried her over to the bathroom and cleaned, stitched and then bandaged her wound before she took a cloth and wiped away the blood from her skin. Amir was quiet the whole time, even as Ymir retrieved clean clothes and helped her change into them. It was when Ymir rummaged through their medical supply to retrieve what she needed to draw plenty of her own blood, that Amir seemed to snap.

“Why are you wasting time?”

Ymir didn’t flinch as the needle pierced her skin, and cast a calm look over toward Amir on the bed. “Because,” she started. Dark, almost black blood poured from the tube and down into the bag, filling it alarmingly quickly. “You’ve lost too much blood. Mine is the only you can take. I can’t leave you here to save mom, and then get back and you’re dead.”

Amir chuckled. “I’d say we raised you well, but we didn’t really get the chance.” She relaxed further in the mattress, eyelids fluttering.

Ymir completed her task and then set the bag up with a drip. During her sickness, they had kept such supplies close at hand. Ymir was grateful for it now, and that Hanji had been paranoid as well to oversupply them with things they ordinarily wouldn’t need.

Amir went deathly still, but her breaths came out faster. Ymir waited only long enough to see that the blood was healing her—she wasn’t sure what weapon they must have used for Amir to have stayed injured for so long—and then she left through the backdoor, shedding her weaker form for wings, horns and a tail. She soared into the sky, anger rattling around rightly in her heart.

At last, she couldn’t take it. Ymir swept down to the ground, smashed her fists hard into the street and roared louder than she ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rather a short chapter than no chapter, am I right?


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I might not update as regularly again (which I generally don't do anyway. The last few days have been a dream, lol). I moved recently and don't have the WI-Fi set up yet. But I will still write a chapter every three days, as I'm rotating between my three big stories, Bad Dog III, Above and Below and this one. Won't make any promises though. Enjoy the chapter! Have any questions, comments or suggestions? I'd love to hear them.

**Unknown Number (08:31):** I’ve taken your mother to your old school building. Want her alive? Meet me there. Now.

Ymir’s body hadn’t been so utterly freed in such a long time. Her feet thudded heavily on the ground, and around her people gawked. She barely took note, barely cared that the loitering teens on the school grounds took out their cellphones to snap a video of her. All she could taste was blood on her tongue. Bloodlust hadn’t been part of her for the past year, but it felt like an old, close friend. Ymir welcomed it, though a small part of her still urged to remain calm and level. She tried.

A wind blew by, carrying with it the scent of her mother. Simply from the direction Ymir could tell that they were on the school roof, so she sliced her claws into the side of the building and scaled it in three hefty leaps. Once she was up, the humans could no longer see her, and a stranger demon held Damian by the throat. Damian was pale but uninjured. Her pupils were blown open wide, her lips parted. At their feet Ymir saw a broken syringe, and she could smell her mother’s blood at the tip of it. She scrunched her nose up.

“Welcome,” the demon said. Her grip on Damian tightened, but Damian seemed too out of it to even respond to that. She was barely awake, blinking rapidly or not blinking at all. If the demon let go, she would simply crumble to the ground.

“Put my mother down,” Ymir growled.

“And why would I do that?”

A low, vibrating growl rumbled in Ymir’s chest. “Because I don’t want to hurt her when I go for you.”

She laughed, but the sound had no edge at all. “Come at me, then.” Her grip slackened and Damian’s body tipped.

The concrete cracked underneath the strength of Ymir’s leap. She dove forward so quickly that she smashed into the demon before Damian’s body had even landed. They tumbled over the edge of the building, the other demon transformed as well, tails whipping and claws slicing at each other. The demon planted one foot against Ymir’s chest, and then used tremendous force and kicked her away. Ymir’s body shot away from the building, creating a crater in the school field when she landed.

“My name is Atlas,” the demon announced. “I’ll go down as the hero that saved both human and demonkind.”

Ymir climbed slowly onto her feet, analysing Atlas very closely. She was not emotionally invested in the fight, Ymir could tell. One thing Ymir couldn’t figure out, was why this was even happening. If Atlas was not with Dante, then why was she interested in snuffing the Lucifer bloodline?

“Why are you doing this?” Ymir asked. Her jaw had already healed, but she spat the remaining blood from her mouth. “You don’ want to do this. Who is controlling you?”

Atlas narrowed her eyes. They were pretty, but vacant. She took a careful step to the side. “This might come as a shock to you,” she started, “but since I’m going to kill you anyway, I might as well let you know who is responsible. The council ordered me to assassinate you.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Figures.”

Atlas laughed. “Of course you wouldn’t have naïve faith in the council. But, they have revealed themselves. They are going to demonize you, Ymir. Your bloodline will become dirty.”

“I’m the end of my goddamn cursed bloodline,” Ymir snarled. Atlas shifted, surprised for a fraction of a second, and Ymir took her chance to shoot forward and punch Atlas square in the face. Her movements were too quick and Atlas had no time to dodge. Her nose broke with a loud, wet squelch and she went flying into the nearest building, smashing right through it. Ymir flapped her wings and followed, grabbing Atlas before she could stand and then she used all of her strength to throw Atlas out of the school grounds and into the street. A bus sat there, smashed when Atlas collided with it. Ymir vaulted her body forward and smashed so hard into the bus that it tipped over and fell onto its side. Ymir used this to her advantage to press her weight down into Atlas.

“They want to use me as a ploy?” she enquired, lips pulled back over sharp teeth. She could see the reflection of her own dark eyes in Atlas’ gaze, and what she saw there frightened her.

“They want to make themselves look good by sacrificing you to the humans.”

“And what makes them think I’ll go quietly?”

Blood trickled out of Atlas’ nose, but it evaporated quickly as it healed. She held Ymir’s gaze for a long moment, and then a heavy, burdened sigh fell from her. “I have no love or hate for your line. I simply do what I am told. So don’t take this personally, Ymir.”

Ymir grunted when something small and sharp pierced her side. When she glanced down, it was a needle. Somehow Atlas had wormed her arm between them, and whatever had been in the syringe was now in Ymir’s system. Her vision wavered and her grip loosened. Atlas nudged her chest gently, but it was enough to completely tip Ymir over. She fell off the side of the bus, landed on her stomach on the tar. Her body shifted slowly, painfully, and she grunted in pain. She tried to crawl away, pulling her body towards the school building. Camera’s flashed, people spoke in rushed whispers.

“I’m sorry,” Atlas said, landing beside Ymir on the road. “I’ll return your mother. Your father should still be alright. The wound was for dramatic effect, to drive you crazy, not to kill her. Your parents can’t have another child, you will be their only.”

Ymir still pulled her almost numb body. The tar scraped hard against her skin. Heat slithered and wormed under her flesh, in her veins and into her marks. They tingled and burned, just like they had in the past, and Ymir screamed.

“Sleep now, Lucifer-born.” Atlas injected something else into Ymir’s neck, muttering something soft that Ymir’s roaring ears couldn’t hear. Her breaths were hard and shallow, and all she could focus on was the pain of her marks, as if they were growing still, burning her skin like lapping fire.

She passed out, a dying scream on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun duuuun *small violin playing in the background*


	23. Chapter 23

When Ymir woke, she was reminded of a traumatizing memory. Though she wasn’t naked, she was still chained around the wrists and ankles, half hanging in the air. Her skin burned from where it had constantly scraped against the chain, and her head was pounding. The last thing she remembered was fighting Atlas, and the words the demon had said to her. She clenched her teeth hard, hissing when she moved and her wrists throbbed.

“Ah, so you’ve woken.”

A demon stepped closer, revealing herself to Ymir. She recognized it as the demon council leader, but this time she looked completely human—the horns were gone, and she was quite small in stature. Her eyes were clear and her lipstick red lips pulled up in a polite, though condescending smile.

“We sent Atlas to assassinate you,” she continued. “But she didn’t have the heart. She brought you back here, and so we chained you up.”

Ymir pushed every ounce of hatred and rage that sat in her blood into her glare. “Are my parents okay?”

“They should be. We have no business with them anymore. Your father is infertile after you, so once you are gone, so will your bloodline disappear.”

Ymir moved slightly, wincing in pain. Her muscles were stiff and sore, no doubt from her being in the same position for so long. “Alright,” she sighed. “Look. I’m in love with a human girl, okay? I want to marry her. You know how demon/human relations go. I can’t ever have kids with her.”

The other demon shook her head. “Your instincts to multiply, Ymir, are stronger than an insects. When you reach your full maturity and feel a full heat, you will be desperate, and there are plenty other demons that wouldn’t mind baring your spawn. We can’t afford that. Your bloodline has been a stain on our kind for centuries. Finally you have dwindled down to one individual. And we will snuff you out.” She stepped closer, all emotion drained from her face. Ymir kept her gaze straight on, not intimidated at the least. Even when the High demon was nose-to-nose with her, she did not shy away.

“You will do a greatness for your kind, Ymir. Once you destroy the city and we stop you, humans will _want_ to know of us, to be with us and live beside us.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “I’m no one’s pawn,” she growled. “Enough of my life was stolen from me. Whatever you’re planning, I won’t let you do it.”

The High demon laughed. It was evil and humourless. “You have no power to say otherwise. With this,” she produced a syringe, inside it golden liquid. “You will lose who you are. All you will be, is _Lucifer,_ the first-born demon.”

She stuck the needle into Ymir’s neck and injected the fluid. Ymir didn’t have the time or space to avoid it, but she didn’t make a noise at the pain. A horrible burning sensation started at her markings again, and it was all so familiar that Ymir nearly retreated back into herself.

This was what her sickness had felt like all her life.

“You,” Ymir growled, breathless and gasping. “You did this to me!”

The High demon nodded. “When we heard your parents had disobeyed us and you were to be born, we finalized this serum. See, it had been in development for years, to be used on your father. Its main purpose was to stunt the power of your bloodline. You were our first test subject, but you responded in the oddest way. Granted, you had your first shot the day you were born. Your body started to attack itself in response. And thus your powers disappeared.” Her face grew grim, solemn. “But Valkyrie was murdered by her own coward of a daughter, and you were hidden from us.”

Ymir felt blood climb up her oesophagus, and couldn’t stop when it flooded onto her tongue and out onto her shirt. She coughed and gagged, pain and fire ripping right through her.

_Not this,_ she thought desperately. _Anything but this. Please._

“We wanted to simply test you, then dispose of you. Simply to be cautious, in case any of your cousin bloodlines survived time.” She pulled her face in disgust. “But then you lived, and you grew. That damn _Dante_ hid you so thoroughly, watched you as you grew, and made sure we didn’t have an opportunity to attack. If not for her, you’d have been dead. We thought it would have been amusing to have you kill her, but I see even that was too much to ask of a _mistake._ ”

Ymir spat a large wad of blood and spit at the High demon, satisfied when it landed on her dress, soaking in and sliding further down. The demon rolled her eyes and stepped away.

“You’ll soon lose your mind, anyway,” she said. “What you do chained up there doesn’t concern me. When you lose control, do have fun. The cameras are already rolling.”

The glow of her eyes disappeared in the darkness. It was daylight outside, but Ymir was restrained in a dilapidated building. She barely managed to catch the sound of cars and pedestrians behind her, through the thin wall.

Fire washed through her again, making Ymir’s spine bend as she convulsed, yelling in pain. Her eyes clouded over to black and her horns grew longer than they ever had been, spilling thick blood all over her face. Her muscles began to bulge out and grow, and Ymir couldn’t do anything to stop it.

She tipped her head back, lips parted, leaking blood and drool. The pain was so bad that Ymir’s mind went blank completely, letting nothing but the fire in her blood occupy her mind.

And then, completely, Ymir lost control and shattered the chains. Her blood speckled the concrete floor, mixed in with dirt, soil and death.

XxX

Krista was incredibly nervous as she waited alone in the booth, by one of her favourite restaurants. Part of her considered that coming here alone, without Ymir, was probably a bad idea. But she knew this—Ymir would have exploded either way.

She had seen news coverage about demons on TV, and so had decided to call Dante up, to personally speak with her. Since Dante probably didn’t want to be label as the bad guy, she wouldn’t attack Krista in public.

At least she hoped so.

Krista didn’t have to wait a minute over the time requested. Dante stepped through the door, tall and clean, clad in dark clothes and a long coat. She immediately turned her eyes to Krista, and Krista felt an intense urge to get up and run. She felt the phantom feeling of wind rushing past her ears, remembering how Dante had dropped her from the sky, but pushed the feelings away. This was for Ymir.

“This is most surprising,” Dante commented as she folded neatly into the seat opposite Krista. “I never expected to see _you_ again.”

Krista pressed her lips together firmly. “Yes, well. You’re the last person I _want_ to see.”

Dante narrowed her eyes. “But?” She cast a curious glance around the room, but it was apparent that she was making sure this wasn’t a set-up, or something of the source.

“I’m doing this for Ymir.”

“You’re newly mated,” Dante stated casually, but she grinned in a teasing manner.

Krista blushed bright red. “Th-that’s none of your business!”

Dante’s face drained of amusement, and she nodded slowly. “You’re right, I apologize. It must be serious, if you contacted me of all demons.”

Krista nodded as well. “The council ordered Ymir to kill you,” she blurted first off. “But Ymir is cut up about it.”

Dante didn’t seem moved at all. “I know this, yes,” she said. “I was waiting to bump into her. Where is she? Does she know you are here with _me?_

Krista shook her head. “No. She left this morning and I haven’t seen her since.” Thinking about it, Krista should have received a message or even a call. She was most surprised that Ymir’s parents hadn’t called her yet, either, to tease her. A sudden sinking feeling entered her stomach, and Krista swallowed. Dante’s eyes were watching her carefully.

“What do you hope to achieve by calling me out here? As far as you know, I’m your enemy.”

“Good people do bad things for good reasons,” Krista insisted. “I still haven’t forgiven you for trying to kill me, but I think I understand why. Ymir does. She’s conflicted because she understands why you’ve done these things. She doesn’t want any part of this! So please, do something, anything, to save Ymir from having to kill you or anyone else.”

Dante slumped in the seat until she was Krista’s height. “Look, if the council want in, there’s nothing I can do. This is precisely why I have done all these bad things. Given the perfect opportunity, the council will reveal themselves and take control of the situation. They will free us themselves, all demons, from the shadows. This has been my ultimate goal. I hoped to use Ymir, to threaten the council, or to even set her loose on the city and then stop her. Both plans failed. I never handled Ymir well. So I had no other choice.”

Dante sighed, and for the first time since Krista had first seen her, Dante looked her age. All demons looked much younger than they were, but Dante was pale and almost sickly. Dark circles hung underneath her eyes, and her lips looked bruised from agitated teeth. Evil people didn’t look as anguished and stressed as Dante did. A slight but of Krista’s unease faded away, enough that she reached across the table and covered Dante’s hand with her own.

“You had to be the villain yourself, then?”

Dante’s eyes hardened and she pulled away. “That’s beside the point. If Ymir comes for me, I will kill her. If she kills me, then oh well. There’s nothing I can do.”

Krista pulled back, anger climbing her spine. She took a breath to shout in anger, but paused when she heard ‘Lucifer-born’ from the TV mounted to the wall close by, usually reserved for annual rugby or cricket games.

“—has just started to attack civilians. Witnesses state that she stumbled into the town centre, bloody and a mess, and immediately began killing those around her. We will have live footage in a moment, but we urge all citizens to evacuate immediately.”

Krista turned slowly, blood freezing underneath her skin. When the footage switched over, she could hardly breathe. It was much bigger, but that was Ymir’s demon form. She was rampaging, roaring and smashing buildings. Krista watched, horrified, as Ymir stepped on people, smashed a helicopter out of the sky. She turned back to Dante, to find her just as pale.

“I guess I wasn’t the only one with the idea to use the Lucifer-born,” she whispered. “The council have done this, I’m sure of it.”

Heavy tears burnt at the back of Krista’s eyelids. A memory, so vivid and real that for a second she thought she was there, blasted into her mind. It was of Ymir, shivering and in pain, confessing quietly the horrid nightmare that plagued her night and day.

_“I’d still love you,” Krista said. She leaned up and kissed the corner of Ymir’s mouth. “You’re Ymir, even if you’ve inherited some mystical demon gene.”_

_“It isn’t mystical. It’s a nightmare.”_

_Krista sobered. “Okay, yeah. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”_

_“My curse isn’t something to be made light of.”_

_Krista plopped back down and pressed a hand to Ymir’s chest. “Ymir, what did you dream this time?”_

_“You know how the dream goes,” Ymir answered._

_“Is it really the same as every other one?”_

_“Yeah. Same place, same circumstances. I’m with you and then I go berserk and change completely. Everything goes to shit and I destroy everything.” Ymir’s markings began to burn. She bit into her lip and tensed like a coil._

_Krista felt it, so she tugged Ymir down and then changed positions so that Ymir was the one laying on her shoulder by her side. “It’s not a dream, is it?”_

_Ymir pressed her face into the fabric of Krista’s nightshirt—she had removed her hoody before resting. “No,” she answered. “It’s not a dream. It’s a glimpse of the future.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please forgive me


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, finally. Warning for violence and mentions of blood!

Krista could hardly hear over the pounding of her heart and the haggard rhythm of her breaths. She panted harshly with each thundering step, with every few meters that brought her closer and closer. Up ahead she could hear it—the deafening roars, the screams of terrified people. Her stomach was tight and churning, but Krista forced herself to remain calm, even when she felt waves of tears threaten to wash over her.

At her side, Dante ran. She wasn’t nearly as winded, and it was clear that she could run much faster or even fly, but chose to stick to Krista’s pace. When she noted Krista staring at her, she frowned.

“What caused this?” Dante asked evenly. Her voice didn’t even hitch.

“I don’t know,” Krista puffed out, face red. “We… I left her this morning and she was fine.”

They rounded the corner of a building, screeching to a halt just as a burning car flew over their heads. When it crashed another terrifying roar filled the air. More screams, crumbling buildings, and then they saw her. The giant demon was just as terrifying as Krista had imagined—no, more. She was up to twenty meters tall, with a large, dragon-like tail that slashed at anything in its path. Her skin was a dark, hard red, glistening now with ash and blood. It was her face that was the scariest, though. It was still mostly Ymir’s face, but larger, with her lips pulled back over sharp teeth and eyes impossibly black. Her horns were huge, splitting through the skin of her forehead. She tipped her head back and then howled into the air.

“Something must have triggered this,” Dante yelled over the noise. “She wouldn’t have just changed like that on her own.”

Krista nodded. “Her parents sealed her powers, too. She shouldn’t be able to get that big.” She thought about the council then, remembered what Ymir had told her, how she had felt that the council were only in it for themselves. “They did this,” she seethed quietly, repeating her confession from a moment ago.

Dante dipped her head. “I think so, too.”

“What do we do?”

Dante seemed to ponder it. Eventually she shook her head. “I don’t know. If they did something to make her crazy like this, then I don’t think there is anything we can do.”

Blood splashed on the street close to them. Krista turned her head and paled, mouth pulled open in horror. Dust and wind whipped at them violently as a result of Ymir stepping on a group of escaping citizens.

“Ymir, NO!” she shouted, mind racing and her body acting on its own. She was hardly aware of herself, only that she knew Ymir. Knew Ymir didn’t want to hurt people, that she would never do something so evil and violent. If Ymir woke from this, Krista knew she would be horrified with what she had done. So Krista couldn’t stand to see Ymir do this and ruin herself.

Sucking in a harsh breath, Krista ran out onto the road, right in the open. She yelled, waving her arms. Somehow Ymir noticed her, and turned away from a little girl she had been reaching for. Krista swallowed the fear boiling in her tummy. She knew Ymir. Ymir wasn’t a monster. She didn’t want to do this.

Krista repeated those thoughts over and over as Ymir stepped toward her, every footstep like a crack of thunder. Her instincts told her to run, but Krista resisted it. She was frozen in place, anyway. Ymir’s face was contorted with so much hatred and rage—Ymir’s dreams from so long ago, they were all true.

“This isn’t you!” Krista yelled up at her. “Ymir, please! I love you! Don’t let them do this to you!”

Ymir tilted her head, like she couldn’t understand the spoken language. Nothing changed on her face. She stumbled closer, and then like lightning she swiped out with one clawed hand. Krista closed her eyes, expecting to feel those nails slice into her, but she was suddenly pulled out of the way. Dante gently placed her down on the ground, huffing.

“Are you an idiot?”

“I need to stop her!”

Dante rolled her eyes. “You’re a little human, Krista. Your words won’t get through to her.”

Krista opened her mouth to protest, but Dante flapped her wings and shot off. She crashed right into Ymir’s chest, making her roar and slam a fist against her own ribs. Ymir roared again and then stumbled.

Krista bit down onto her lip, blood sliding down her skin.

 _Ymir,_ she thought. _I’m so sorry._

She felt tears pour over her cheeks, and this time allowed it. When she was just about to give up and crumble to her knees, she felt her phone ring. Her first thought was to ignore it, because who could be calling her now? But then she felt a shiver rock down her spine, and something urged her to answer it. When she did, her breath left her.

“Krista? Where are you right now?”

Dante was in Ymir’s fist, desperately struggling to get out. Ymir then pulled her arm back and tossed her through the air, so hard that Dante soared, skidded and then slammed into a building, making it collapse. Ymir followed her, eyes blazing with bloodlust. Krista’s heart was slamming against her ribs.

Slowly, she described her location, and hoped for the best.

XxX

_Ymir. Ymir. Ymir. I love you. Love. Love. Love you. Do this. Do—don’t do this. Ymir. Love you. Ymir._

It was like someone had stolen her ability to exist. She was aware, but she wasn’t there. She couldn’t move, even though she wanted to. She wanted to see and hear, but couldn’t. Blackness overwhelmed and consumed her. Voices spun viciously around her head—was it her head? She felt like she was floating in space, but occasionally she would feel sensation. Nothing but her mind worked, until she would suddenly feel a fingertip, or a toe.

Ymir tried to scream, but couldn’t. Along with the blackness came the emotions. They were ugly and thick, coiling around her soul and suffocating her. Every time she tried to beat at the blackness, tried to return to the light, she felt the anger increase.

Ymir wished for nothing but death to free her.

XxX

Lilith reclined in her seat, a cold drink in her hand and a smug grin on her lips.

“Is this really the right thing to do?” Shiva asked. Her tone hinted at displeasure, but her expression spoke of disinterest. Lilith lifted a brow in her direction. “We have always maintained to protect the Lucifer-born. This feels like dishonour.”

“The true dishonour,” Kasdeya interrupted, “is allowing that bloodline to trump ours. It’s about time they lost their high horse.”

“We spit on Lucifer’s name,” Shiva insisted.

“Enough,” Lilith commanded, flicking her wrist. “If Lucifer was alive to see this, she would agree with the necessity. We are not senselessly slaughtering the last of her blood. It is a valued sacrifice.”

Shiva blinked, surprised by the response. She deflated quickly, seeming to realize the truth in the statement. “I see the point,” she conceded. “I still feel wrong about riding the back of manipulation.”

“Too little, too late, little sister,” Alastor muttered from where she sat. She sighed and brushed a hand through her hair. “Is it almost time?”

Smirking again, Lilith drained her drink and set it gently down on the crystal table to her side. She licked at her lips, and then stood. The door opened seconds later.

A short man flicked his eyes over them, wavered and steered his gaze to the floor. “The president will see you now,” he announced softly. The aura of such powerful demons was simply too much for him—and probably that fact that they were female, too.

“Fantastic,” Lilith purred. She brushed past him, enjoying the way his heart stuttered. Had it been any other time, she would have crushed the weak organ in her hand as she laughed.

They headed down the hallway and into another large room, where a man swivelled around in his chair to greet them.

“Lilith?” he asked.

Lilith smiled. “Precisely, Mr President.”

“Please,” he urged, smiling. “Call me Mr Smith.”

She sat, and firmly they shook hands.

XxX

Krista’s mind raced. She tried to think of what she could do to stop Ymir, but nothing came to her. Simply letting Ymir see and hear her didn’t work. It was like Ymir was completely gone. Krista had to choke back her tears, because they weren’t helping anyone. The longer Ymir went on a rampage, the more people would die.

_What on earth can I do to stop this?_

She was human, and on top of that Krista was a particularly small human. Why couldn’t she have been born a demon? Or at least more physically gifted? Breathing in slowly, Krista crouched down and pressed her forehead into her palms. She tried her best to think, but nothing gave her hope.

Ahead of her Dante still battled Ymir, skilfully dodging Ymir’s huge fists as they swung at her. Every time Ymir missed, she would roar. The sound was loud and heavy, and it bounced in Krista’s ears. She knew it was a sound that would haunt her forever.

Krista quietly watched the battle, almost detached, and noticed something in the distance. A vehicle. It was approaching rapidly, and then she saw someone waving wildly while hanging out of the window, and the sorrow and grief that had gripped her quickly melted away. The car took a sharp turn to the right, so Krista stood and hurried that way. She made sure to stay out of the danger zone, and tried not to linger on her worry for Ymir and—dare she say it— _Dante._ She knew Dante could hold her own, and hopefully wouldn’t hurt Ymir too badly.

The car was parked three blocks down. When Krista reached it, she was panting harshly. Her entire body buzzed with adrenalin. From within the car a brunette woman climbed out, whipping her long hair up into a high ponytail. She expertly tied an elastic band around the locks, and then adjusted the glasses perched up on her nose.

“Krista?” she asked.

Krista swallowed, nodding. “Hanji?”

Hanji grinned. “Correct! Nice to finally meet my niece’s soulmate. Now, what has she gotten herself into?”

Hanji was strangely calm, and while it did help to ease Krista’s panic as well, it also served to irritate her. But she kept that concern to herself, and simply began relaying what had happened from what she knew. Another woman climbed out of the car, but she went around to the trunk and drew it open. Hanji joined her, still listening, nodding attentively.

“Okay,” Hanji breathed finally, sighing. “I had a feeling that this would happen one day,” she explained. “So I worked on a little project.”

Krista raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? Do you know how to stop this?”

Hanji nodded, grinning. Behind them Ymir slammed onto the road, sending broken tar and a gust of wind their way. Krista had to grip the side of the car or she would lose her footing. Hanji, however, remained as calm as ever. Her hand slid slowly into Krista’s, pressing something cold against her palm.

“Take this,” Hanji told her. “And go to her. You need to get through to Ymir, Krista. You’re the only one that can save her, and us.”

Krista pulled her hand away and stared down at the contents, swallowing. The realization dawned on her, and her heart fluttered in excitement— _hope_. She nodded determinedly and then turned.

“I’ll save her!” she promised, heading back to where Ymir still roared mindlessly. “I promise!”

Krista didn’t wait to see how Hanji had responded. She ran all the way to Ymir, dodging debris and dead bodies. She was so focused on the task at hand that she didn’t even take the time to be disgusted and horrified. No, Krista would save Ymir. For once _she_ would come to the rescue.

Dante flew right by Krista, slamming into a tree, snapping it clean in half. She crumbled to the ground, groaning and bloody. When she attempted to get back up, Krista stopped her.

“No! I have this! I’ll stop her!”

“You can’t,” Dante insisted, but she vomited blood and then collapsed again. “Krista, don’t put yourself in danger.”

Krista didn’t listen. She ran closer to Ymir again, eyes stuck to her contorted face. Ymir watched her, not moving or making a sound. Her black and red eyes tracked every step, until Krista paused right beneath her.

“Ymir?” Krista asked tentatively. “Ymir, it’s me. I need you to listen to me.”

Ymir tilted her head, brows furrowing. A long, red tongue snuck out and swept over her bottom lip, her sharp teeth. She exhaled in a gush, and then she swiped downwards and wrapped her hand around Krista’s small form. Krista cried out in surprise.

“Ymir, please!” she continued. “Just listen to me, okay? I can save you.”

Ymir blinked, tilting her head further. She inhaled deeply and must have caught Krista’s scent. Something in her eyes changed, but then she snarled—deeply and loudly—and lifted Krista above her face, mouth open.

Krista’s heart stuttered in terror. Before Ymir could open her hand and drop her in, Krista screamed, stabbing the soft meat of Ymir’s thumb. Ymir roared and dropped her to the ground, stumbling. She lifted her hand, stared down at it, and then collapsed onto her stomach.

Steam bellowed into the air as her body slowly began to shrink. The blood dissipated as well.

XxX

Ymir gasped. She sat up, suddenly aware of herself and her body. She lifted her hands, stared down at her palms. She recognized the freckles by her thumb, the lines and creases that had always been there, her brown skin. Signing, she squeezed her hands into fists and enjoyed the way her muscles moved. She could feel again. Cool, fresh air slipped into her lungs and back past her lips. Faint wind brushed Ymir’s burning cheeks, sweeping her hair about. She opened her eyes, stomach fluttering with something odd, and finally took in her surroundings.

She was in a field in the dead of night. It was an open grass area, but fenced off with large, beautiful trees. Above her hung a dark, sparkling sky, with so many stars that Ymir simply toppled onto her back again to stare up at them. All of the negative emotions washed away in an instant, and Ymir was filled with peace and awe.

“Is this what death feels like?” she wondered aloud.

“No, this is life.”

Ymir sat up at the voice. By the treeline a woman stepped out, gait slow and easy as she sauntered ever closer. She was small, with ash white hair that dipped down to her swaying hips and her skin darker than Ymir’s, but clear of any markings at all. What was most striking, were her deep red eyes. She pulled her lips into a smile and dropped to her knees in front of Ymir. Her hands reached out and cupped Ymir’s cheeks—her palms were so warm—and then she gently pulled their faces closer until she could press her forehead to Ymir’s.

“You have been through too much, my child.”

Ymir felt an overwhelming sense of tranquillity, but the emotion was almost hot and sticky at her back. She swallowed hard and dared not to move. “Where am I? Who are you?”

“I am you,” the woman responded. Her voice was like a song, melodious and pleasant. It swept delightfully over Ymir’s skin. “And I am me.”

“That makes no sense.”

Chuckling softly, the woman pulled back to gaze down into Ymir’s eyes. “I am in the deepest parts of you, Ymir. I know more of you than you know of yourself.”

Ymir studied her face carefully. She was beautiful, almost starkly so. While she was short in stature, her face was all sharp angles. Her shoulders were nicely muscled, leading down to toned arms. At her back sat large, leathery wings. When Ymir looked a little closer, she saw the fresh scars of horn wounds at her forehead.

All at once Ymir understood.

“Lucifer,” she breathed, reverent.

The woman smiled. “Please, call me Lucy,” she insisted.

“Oh god, I really am dead, aren’t I?”

Lucy laughed at that. “You are not dead, Ymir. This is all in your head.”

“In my head?” Ymir’s brows scrunched together. “I went nuts then?”

Lucy tapped a fingertip against Ymir’s forehead, then climbed onto her lap. She curled up there, like a cat about to take a nap. She purred slightly, hand pressed to Ymir’s chest.

“You are the last child of my child, Ymir. You’ve triggered this—whatever this really is—with the intensity of your emotions. I put a piece of me in the genes of my descendants, so that should you ever need me, I will appear.”

Ymir swallowed. Lucy was small and warm in her lap, but there was overwhelming waves of power rolling off of her small form. One flick of her finger could destroy a mountain, Ymir realized.

“Why are you here, though? What’s happening?”

“You see, Ymir, I was a mistake.” Lucy smiled like it was an old joke. “A child born of an ancient, and a new. I should not have been created, but somehow, I was.” Ymir wanted to retort that once again that made no sense, but she dared not to interrupt. “So I spawned us, the in-between. The shifters. The ones on either side, born from nowhere, unable to fit in. We rose from ruin. You are of my original blood, the rest are all cast offs. Ymir, what do you desire most in life?”

Ymir looked up at the stars, pondering. “Krista,” she said suddenly. A soft, gentle smile lifted her lips. “I just want to make Krista happy, more than anything.”

Lucy stroked a finger against Ymir’s cheek. “You love the human girl very much. I can feel it.”

“I do,” Ymir admitted. “More than anything in this world.”

“Then your love will prosper. I have many odd powers, and one of them is to grant your greatest desire.”

Ymir’s eyes widened and her mouth went dry. “You mean…?”

Lucy nodded slowly, smiling. “Of course, there’s not much on my part that I need to do, anyway. The new demon generation have grown so much since the beginning days. I will leave you with this, blood of my blood.” She pressed their foreheads together again, and Ymir felt a warmth rush right through her. She gasped, desperate when Lucy pulled away. When she opened her eyes, she was gone and the clearing was empty. She stars twinkled above her.

_Ymir, you need to wake up now._

Ymir’s eyes opened slowly, and above her, Krista hovered. Her face was dirty with ash and blood, but she was smiling, tears tracking over her cheeks.

“Ymir?” she gasped out, sniffing. “Are you back?”

Ymir could look nowhere but into Krista’s endlessly blue eyes. She smiled slowly. “Hey Krista,” she spoke softly in a raw, broken voice. “I’m back.”

Voices rushed over them and hands tugged Ymir upwards, but she could see nothing but Krista. She took hold of Krista’s hand and refused to release it, even when someone urged her to let go. Eventually they gave up.

“The serum worked,” someone spoke—Hanji?

“Great work. We need to leave now, before the council find us.”

“They never saw Ymir’s human face. We can escape now while everyone is still in a panic.”

Slowly their words registered to Ymir, but still she focused solely on Krista. When they were in the car, driving somewhere, anywhere but where they had been, Ymir spread out on the car seat and rested her head on Krista’s lap.

“I love you,” she said softly.

Krista’s hand swept through her hair. “We can talk about this when you feel better, alright?”

Ymir nodded, smiling. “I have so much to tell you. So much that I understand now.”

Krista pressed a kiss to her forehead, her cheek, her jaw, and finally softly on her lips. “Me too,” she said softly. “I missed you.”

“I’m back, for good.”

A sharp inhale. “You’re back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omfg. I can honestly say that while writing this I was constantly surprised, lol. I am SO sorry for how long this took, guys. It was partly due to fuckups in my life (moving, my job, stress) and also because I lost like every tiny bit of inspiration for this. But oh my god, last chapter is done! Next up is the epilogue, and then Demon is finally done. Thanks so much for reading the story this far, plot holes and all. I'd love to know what you think in the comments ^^


	25. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay~

The cool water washed over the sand and Ymir’s feet before retreating again. There was a slow wind, but nothing strong enough to make Ymir retreat. She stood on the beach, staring out over the clear horizon. This stretch of the island was mostly deserted, though to the far south of her was a resort. Ymir inhaled slowly, smiling. She dropped down and took a seat on the warm sand. Water washed over her ankles again, very close to reaching her shorts.

“You’ll get wet,” Krista said from behind her.

Ymir turned, still smiling. “What if I want to?”

Krista rolled her eyes and plopped down on Ymir’s lap. A more enthusiastic wave washed over the sand, splashing them. Krista giggled and yelled, and Ymir held in her place. “Meaning!” Krista moaned, slapping Ymir’s chest. She laughed at the smug grin Ymir sent her.

“Hey, I like my humans like this.”

“Like what?” Krista lifted a brow.

Ymir smirked. “ _Wet._ ”

Despite how often they had been intimate, it still made Krista blush. “Shut up, jerk.”

Ymir laughed and pulled Krista to her. She kissed her, softly and gently, like this was their last moment together. Ymir had a habit of doing that now. She cherished each and every second with Krista.

“So Hanji sent me an email,” Krista stared, drawing patters on Ymir’s skin with her fingertip. “And it had an article attached.”

“What juicy info did it have?”

Krista grinned. “Let me show you.” She pulled Ymir to her feet, and then the two walked back to their small beach house, fingers intertwined. “It actually made me laugh really hard, so I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Ymir trusted Krista with her life, so she greatly anticipated reading that article. It almost felt like an eternity while Krista simply loaded the article, and then finally Ymir relaxed on the couch to read.

_“President Demands Penance for Destruction Wrought by Mystery Demon,_ ” the article header read.

Ymir snorted, scrolling gleefully through the page.

_Malia – Today, May 1 st, President Smith has issued a formal request of the demon council. As the identity of the mystery vandal is yet to be disclosed, we demand the council atone for the lives and property destroyed that day. At this stage the council have been media hounds, but none of them have mentioned the grim day of the demon attack. They one and only time they broached the topic, it was to insist that they had no part. After the confession and arrest of Dante, leader of the infamous Illuminus organization, humans have demanded the same from the council. The case is still under investigation, and the moment more information is leaked, the council will go down.”_

Ymir snorted once in amusement, and then she shut the laptop and set it aside. Krista curled up on her lap again, and then they lapsed into silence. Ymir thought about the time she had changed completely. Of course, she had no memories of it. She only knew what the media and Krista had relayed. At first it had greatly horrified her, but thanks to Lucifer, Ymir no longer felt the need to blame herself. She did blame Dante still, and the council. They both had a hand in what had happened, and the blood of all those people rested on all of their hands, even if Ymir’s had been dyed, too.

“What are you thinking about?” Krista asked softly.

Ymir glanced down at her. “Just that I love you.”

“Sap.”

“Marry me, Krista.”

Krista went still. Her blue eyes widened slowly. “Are you serious?”

Ymir set Krista aside and then dropped down to her knees. She took Krista’s hand, grinning. “This time, yeah. Will you marry me? We can, um… if you want, we could start a family, too.”

Ymir had discovered that thanks to Lucifer—and whatever Hanji had made that Krista had injected into her—she could make Krista pregnant. No tests were done to prove this, and Krista was pregnant yet, but Ymir knew. That was why she had used protection every time they made love when she was shifted.

Krista swallowed, face flushed. “You think… will it be safe?”

Ymir leaned forward to wrap her arms around Krista’s waist. “Lucy wouldn’t have told me if it wouldn’t. Before she left, she gave me all this knowledge. It’s like I have all her memories. Her DNA was altered so that she couldn’t mate with humans. But I—I am the first. Whatever the council and Hanji both injected into me, and Lucifer’s latent genes, it like unlocked that for me. We could also, maybe…. Ask Hanji for some tests?”

Krista nodded slowly. “Okay,” she said.

“Okay?” Ymir asked, brows furrowed. “Okay you’ll marry me and have my kids? Okay we’ll finally tell Hanji?”

Krista giggled. “Okay to everything, Ymir. We do need to let Hanji know, though. I just want her to confirm everything before we try and get our hopes up.”

Ymir’s heart soared. “You’d really want to have my babies?”

Krista nodded. “I’ve wanted to for a while, actually. When you said we couldn’t, I realized then how much I really wanted to build a family with you.”

Ymir stood suddenly, cheeks flushed. She ripped her shirt off and then tugged hurriedly at her pants.

“What are you doing?” Krista asked, laughing. She grew quiet very quickly when she noticed the sudden swell in Ymir’s underwear.

“Let’s make a baby right now.”

“Ymir, shouldn’t we first… um… call Hanji?”

Ymir finally discarded the last of her clothing, and then lifted a brow and waited. As expected, Krista’s eyes went right to Ymir’s impressive addition. “We could, or we could maybe trust my ancestor.”

Krista swallowed. “Or we could do that.”

Ymir laughed, and then she pulled Krista in for a kiss. Her chest was warm with emotion. Deep inside, Ymir was happy. She had never been so happy in her life before. Whether it was thanks to Lucifer, or Krista, or whatever, Ymir was grateful.

They made love all day long.

XxX

Once upon a time, an ancient being came to Earth. There, she met a native, and they fell in love. What they spawned out of that love was never meant to be, yet it happened anyway. And thus, the demon-kind was born.

However, the era of the demon-kind was steadily drawing to a close. Following it, came the demi-born. From the last blood of the first, came an entirely new blood, and one that would prosper.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow, this is it. After all this time, the story finally comes to an end. I find it funny that I ended up doing the two things I swore not to do in this story, I did. I wrote out a sex scene, and then enabled demon babies. Oh ho. I suppose I simply can't resist. Anyway, thank you to each and every one of you that read this entire train wreck. Thank you for being patient and for commenting. This story was a blast to write. If there are still any questions left unanswered, shoot me an ask on tumblr and I don't mind answering. I also do plan to write either a series of oneshots or a mini series in which Ymir has LOTS of babies ;D thanks for reading!


End file.
